And so it ends...

[Mel and Syl 0]

Yes, trust is extremly important in a relationship and yes a lie is a lie. All im saying is that he should hear the other side of the storry befor making any decision. After all he told her that he will always love her after finding those pics on the web.

[jmmr 0]

That is too bad I am so sorry that was occuring. I give you a big hug** Keep your head up high and be very thankful for finding out sooner than later. Once your pain has healed, you will realize what a great decision you made; even though it was very painful. I pray for you.

[Brad and Vika 129]

Yes, trust is extremly important in a relationship and yes a lie is a lie. All im saying is that he should hear the other side of the storry befor making any decision. After all he told her that he will always love her after finding those pics on the web.

I don't get it. What POSSIBLE explanation could she give at this point?

[Brad and Vika 129]

I don't know why I'm posting this here. It certainly won't accomplish anything. I'm nearly 6 months into the process and I must bow out just as our papers are reaching the embassy. It is very disappointing to have come so close only to have to quit now, but I know it is for the best. Just a month after my last trip to see her on her birthday and our life together is over.

As it turns out my fiancée, with whom I have felt happier than ever before in my life, has been cheating on me. What's worse is that she was doing it for money. Yes, she was selling herself. I don't want to believe it, but there is no denying the evidence. I believe I may still be in a bit of denial myself because the grief of breaking up has not hit yet. I imagine the crying will begin within the next 24-48 hours. The vomiting has already started and I feel very numb.

I was reading travel and tourism pages last night, which led me to other pages, which led me to other pages, which led me to a message board about sex tourism, complete with detailed first hand stories and photos. I opened a thread about Cartagena, and lo and behold, I am greeted by half a dozen recent pictures of my now ex-fiancée in a seedy motel room in her lingerie and in the other man's clothing, along with a brief account of her time with the poster. She had been acting very strange the past few weeks and this certainly explains her behavior. I called her, very calmly stating that it is important she tell me the truth about what she had been doing during that time. She continued to lie even when confronted with the photos. I told her very truthfully that I will always love her, but that I did not know what to do. She said she would call me when she woke up this morning, and that was that.

She has not called yet and I don't know if she will. If I do not hear from her today, I will call her mother to say goodbye, leaving it between the two of them to discuss the specifics. I'm sure she will lie, but I don't want to directly cause a catastrophe between them. I will then send her an upbeat email thanking her for her time and wishing her a fond farewell. In a few days I'll notify the Department of State of my desire to cancel the petition.

Thank you, visajourney.com community for providing so much information to guide me through the process. I hope things work out better for the rest of you. Please excuse me while I go ball up in a corner and await my fate.

You made the right decision, and probably dodged a bullet too. The pain will recede, and life will go on. Hang in there!!!

[KimandRuss 0]

It doesn't really matter what any of us think.

To the OP, I hope you can work through your grief with all of this and move on ....better and stronger.

This too shall pass.

[sara..... 371]

I am very sorry to hear what has happened to u.......the only thing that i can offer is prayer asking for u to be able to get past this awful experience and to find peace

sara

[*JG* 2]

I'm so sorry.

[DairyFarmer 1]

Jimmy that is terrible. My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry.

[LoriLawless 0]

I'm so sorry to hear this. Hang in there and the pain will go away in time.

[mrsartis 10]

Please thank God you have to find it out before it was too late for your hide.. Move on Brother, but always be open for love..

[stevi1123 0]

Jimmy, I am so sorry for your sorrow at this time. I cannot believe some of (or ONE OF) the responses you have gotten here, but then again, who am I to judge another human being. I will keep you in prayer and hope that you are able to see this for what it truly is. A blessing in disguise!

Better to find this out now, than to suffer the consequences later. I say this not to be harsh, but to express my empathy for you and your situation. It will be okay once you have moved through the grieving process. Time has a way of slowly but surely making things better. I promise.

May God bless you

Edited July 7, 2008 by stevi1123

[aravis227 1]

Yes, trust is extremly important in a relationship and yes a lie is a lie. All im saying is that he should hear the other side of the storry befor making any decision. After all he told her that he will always love her after finding those pics on the web.

On the topic of prostitution being a job and work, I totally agree with you. If someone has no other way to make money, it is work. But he DID try to hear the other side of the story. He called her, asked her about it and she lied to him, continued insisting it was not her, and then did what I would consider blowing him off by saying she didn't want to talk about it and that she would call him later. I think the OP made the right choice. If she had come clean about it right away and explained herself it would be a different situation. Not to mention, as a previous poster C&Ped, she would be ineligible for the visa at this point because of the prostitution.

To the OP, I agree with the first response...I won't apologize or feel sorry for you, it's best you found out about this now. Whether the prostitution itself was wrong or not is irrelevant...she should not have hidden it from you and she should have told you the truth when you found out about it. The fact that she so quickly and smoothly lied to you about it is the biggest problem in this situation. I wish you the best in the future.

[Alexandra_v 0]

i'm so sorry

[Alexandra_v 0]

It doesn't really matter what any of us think.

To the OP, I hope you can work through your grief with all of this and move on ....better and stronger.

This too shall pass.

[forchika 4]

I am sorry that this happened to you also, but agree with everyone else that it was better you found out now instead of after she arrived to the US. For that kind of secret to come out after her arrival would have had a more devastating blow on the relationship. Keep your head up and stay strong and PLEASE DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF!!!!