July '08 filers

[Corinthians 7]

Checking in again, July filers...

How's everyone holding up? I find myself wincing when I look at the calendar - I see the 19th creeping up on me - the day my darling has to go back to Germany. I have to find ways not to think of it. I told him not to tell me he has to use things up and not buy more at the grocery store. I hate the idea that he has to go away again, and we're not sure we can afford another visit after he goes. His family keeps asking if I can make it there for Christmas. I sure hope so!

I've been introducing Andy to American politics and government with all of the political stuff on TV lately. He told his best friend the other day that he knows more about American politics than German now I told him this will prepare him for when he can vote in the 2012 presidential election.

Also, I wanted to ask if any of you were browsing wedding dresses online? I'm trying to find an inexpensive place to order one. I have a couple sites bookmarked, but wondering if anyone else has some, too.

I was just looking at flights to Berlin 12/18 to 1/08 on Delta from Spokane and they're $753 including taxes. Maybe if you buy early you'll be set.

We're holding up good here. Going back to Brasil in November and the way timelines look things will be taken care of by February so it's all good. The worst part for me is going back to talking on the webcam after being together. That sucks. Good luck with the 19th coming up.

[Cham 3]

also Fashion bug...I found mine for 109.00 and its BEAUTIFUL. Simple and elegant.

HUGS TO ALL!!

[Aubrey 10]

Hang in there! Sebastian left nearly a month ago, but we're holding up okay. I bought a plane ticket to England for New Year's and having a definite date to look forward to is a big help. You're lucky for having so much time together, don't forget that!

Yeah, maybe you all look at my post with disgust that I'm already complaining before he's even left. I know I'm lucky that he's here with me now, but it's really hard knowing that he's leaving again. Everything feels just perfect with him here - it's our home now. I dread waking up without him there next to me. Sorry if I sound like a whiner, I just know how much it's going to suck when the rug is pulled out from beneath me. We both cry when we're apart.

As for wedding dresses, Julius Bridal has a few knockoffs that are supposedly really nice. I've been looking at the forums on indiebride.com and they're very helpful too. What kind of dress are you looking for? Houseofbrides.com also seems fairly popular and very reputable.

Basically I'm looking for something affordable and not overly fancy. I've seen that HouseofBrides.com website - it's not bad, but I find it really hard to search for dresses. I wish they'd put them all under one place and let me sort by price.

A couple sites I've found:

http://www.weddingdressonline.com

http://www.lilywedding.com

http://www.shopofbrides.com

I was just looking at flights to Berlin 12/18 to 1/08 on Delta from Spokane and they're $753 including taxes. Maybe if you buy early you'll be set.

We're holding up good here. Going back to Brasil in November and the way timelines look things will be taken care of by February so it's all good. The worst part for me is going back to talking on the webcam after being together. That sucks. Good luck with the 19th coming up.

Yeah, the prices are better with earlier bookings. We can't really book until we know the financial situation, and that depends on how quickly he finds work when he returns to Bremen. He takes his A+ certification tests next week, and if all goes well, that should help with the job hunt. We should know by October. I'm glad you and your SO get to spend more time together. It's good you have something to look forward to!

And this is probably TMI, but I will never drive to Spokane for a flight during winter in Idaho again... I'm sure Cham has an idea of what I mean by the snow here in Idaho. Last winter I got stuck overnight in Spokane coming home from Christmas. Barely was able to drive from the airport parking lot to an airport hotel because there was soooo much snow (and every road was closed beyond the airport). So I'll be flying out of my regional airport or not risking it at all.

It's so nice to have this place to lend me an ear! Thank you all.

[Cham 3]

ROFL YES and I remember the drive to there when he came to see me! It was January and SNOW everywhere!

BUT I will do it If I have to AGAIN...I will leave an hour or two early ROFL!! JUST in CASE!!

hehe

[Gemmie 142]

Hang in there! Sebastian left nearly a month ago, but we're holding up okay. I bought a plane ticket to England for New Year's and having a definite date to look forward to is a big help. You're lucky for having so much time together, don't forget that!

Yeah, maybe you all look at my post with disgust that I'm already complaining before he's even left. I know I'm lucky that he's here with me now, but it's really hard knowing that he's leaving again. Everything feels just perfect with him here - it's our home now. I dread waking up without him there next to me. Sorry if I sound like a whiner, I just know how much it's going to suck when the rug is pulled out from beneath me. We both cry when we're apart.

I know exactly what you mean.

When I spent 6 weeks in the US with my fiancee, I was so happy. But as time went on, I found myself getting sadder. People on VJ would tell me to just enjoy the time we had together, and my fiancee told me the same thing, not to think about the day of flying back. Though family reminded me constantly that I *was* going back, showing excitement for having me back in the UK so I could be with them instead. I felt like I was being pulled in both directions yet the one thing I couldn't do is ignore the inevitable time when I would have to leave again.

It got to the point where I was feeling upset in the mornings when I showered because I knew it was one morning closer to being "taken back"... I even considered not visiting again because even though I enjoyed our time together, it was also adding salt to the wound when our time ended.... it's a normal reaction but just think of the time when you won't have to leave. That's what I do, and it helps a bit.

[PB&JAM 1]

Hang in there! Sebastian left nearly a month ago, but we're holding up okay. I bought a plane ticket to England for New Year's and having a definite date to look forward to is a big help. You're lucky for having so much time together, don't forget that!

Yeah, maybe you all look at my post with disgust that I'm already complaining before he's even left. I know I'm lucky that he's here with me now, but it's really hard knowing that he's leaving again. Everything feels just perfect with him here - it's our home now. I dread waking up without him there next to me. Sorry if I sound like a whiner, I just know how much it's going to suck when the rug is pulled out from beneath me. We both cry when we're apart.

I know exactly what you mean.

When I spent 6 weeks in the US with my fiancee, I was so happy. But as time went on, I found myself getting sadder. People on VJ would tell me to just enjoy the time we had together, and my fiancee told me the same thing, not to think about the day of flying back. Though family reminded me constantly that I *was* going back, showing excitement for having me back in the UK so I could be with them instead. I felt like I was being pulled in both directions yet the one thing I couldn't do is ignore the inevitable time when I would have to leave again.

It got to the point where I was feeling upset in the mornings when I showered because I knew it was one morning closer to being "taken back"... I even considered not visiting again because even though I enjoyed our time together, it was also adding salt to the wound when our time ended.... it's a normal reaction but just think of the time when you won't have to leave. That's what I do, and it helps a bit.

Wow! i know exactly what you mean! my fiance is visiting next month n all i can think about is that its only a week n we have to say goodbye again. i almost rather him not even visit cause when he leaves its too hard! but yes, just knowing it wont be good-bye forever...one day you wont have to leave!

think how much more we will appreciate our mates then other ppl. it will be a wonderful marriage n life together because you will cherish each other more then most ppl could know how to! most ppl take each other for granted, but this pain we go through will give us stronger relationships and when the going gets tough later on in life, u'll have a firm foundation n commitment bcos you learned to cherish each other so much! xx

[kiwiana 2]

Well said PB&JAM! totally agree about stronger relationships! I spent time with my USC partner for a month in July. We have known each other 10 years and in the past, the leading up to the last day we were together was just so heartbreaking.

Like Gemmie, I would start to count down the days whilst there with him and would get quite sad. But over the last few years, i have told myself to enjoy every single moment that we are with each other. Those moments are precious!

And I agree that i don't think most couples in long distance relationships take each other for granted. We cherish each moment we have with our loved one, whether in person, via messenger, phone etc.

And like all july '08 filers, i tell myself that it won't be long until i will be with my SO.....finally

(Patience is a virtue....... I think we could all get gold medals for that )

[Cham 3]

Well said PB&JAM! totally agree about stronger relationships! I spent time with my USC partner for a month in July. We have known each other 10 years and in the past, the leading up to the last day we were together was just so heartbreaking.

Like Gemmie, I would start to count down the days whilst there with him and would get quite sad. But over the last few years, i have told myself to enjoy every single moment that we are with each other. Those moments are precious!

And I agree that i don't think most couples in long distance relationships take each other for granted. We cherish each moment we have with our loved one, whether in person, via messenger, phone etc.

And like all july '08 filers, i tell myself that it won't be long until i will be with my SO.....finally

(Patience is a virtue....... I think we could all get gold medals for that )

I know..I have not been able to see Kai or him I...its HORRID!!!!! Its been over a year that he was here:( THANK YOU GOD for webcams and voice chat! I know we will get the visa..I have FAITH in that. He will be home and I will not have to see him get on that stupid plane again to leave me.

[Terri and Seb 0]

Yeah, maybe you all look at my post with disgust that I'm already complaining before he's even left. I know I'm lucky that he's here with me now, but it's really hard knowing that he's leaving again. Everything feels just perfect with him here - it's our home now. I dread waking up without him there next to me. Sorry if I sound like a whiner, I just know how much it's going to suck when the rug is pulled out from beneath me. We both cry when we're apart.

Aww, don't worry! I wasn't reading in disgust. Just reminding you to be strong and optimistic since that's what will make the difference between a bearable separation and an unbearable one . I'm glad we can all be here for each other!

Thanks for the wedding dress links too. I'm searching now! I'd put pics of the one I want up, but Sebastian is sneaky and would totally peek.

[Aubrey 10]

Those moments are precious!

And I agree that i don't think most couples in long distance relationships take each other for granted. We cherish each moment we have with our loved one, whether in person, via messenger, phone etc.

And like all july '08 filers, i tell myself that it won't be long until i will be with my SO.....finally

(Patience is a virtue....... I think we could all get gold medals for that )

Okay, I don't get that gold medal, because I am anything but patient with this whole thing! That's why Andy is here now! If I was patient, we'd have saved the money (and it's a lot when he's not working to be here, + the flight cost) towards our wedding instead of visiting. Being with him now trumps whatever happens to our ceremony... I think I take maybe an Honorable Mention in patience.

Aww, don't worry! I wasn't reading in disgust. Just reminding you to be strong and optimistic since that's what will make the difference between a bearable separation and an unbearable one . I'm glad we can all be here for each other!

Thanks for the wedding dress links too. I'm searching now! I'd put pics of the one I want up, but Sebastian is sneaky and would totally peek.

So he knows about this July filer thread? I think Andy likes to avoid thinking about all the bad stuff with this process, so he stopped reading VJ and only looks when I mention it. You can always send me a PM with your wedding dress idea...

And yeah, I know I should try to remain positive, but I get so disheartened when I don't have an end in sight. All that I have in front of me ATM is he's leaving, time apart, stress, unknowns, and reading posts like this that make me disgusted that I'm being penalized for doing this the "right way." I still find it ridiculous that it takes so many months and we STILL have to do AOS afterwards. Why can't I get married and adjust status from the VWP no matter what? Hell, it's legal to do in Germany!

Sorry for another rant... I'm having a bad day I guess. One of my cats is sick (he bit my finger when I gave him medicine this morning! ) and that post I read kind of set me off. But thanks for everyone for their posts and ongoing support. It's comforting to know that there are people here that understand and won't brush me off when I talk about it. Be sure I'll be there for all of you in the upcoming months!

[PB&JAM 1]

No worries Aubrey! we all have bad days! i'm flown into a couple rages before! i'm real sad today too, sooo lonely...just want my life with him to begin!

(Sorry about ur kitty, hope he gets better! i have 3 myself, love them to bits!)

Hang in there! we all understand...its real hard to deal with! really hard and painful! But hey, you found the love of your life! If this is what you have to go through to be with him, isnt it worth it?

I have hard days where i thought, forget it, its too hard! i'll just be single and call this all off!

But I cant live without him! He's my best friend and my love, if this is what i must endure, i will!

Be strong!!! You'll get your happy day too soon! *HUGS*

Edited September 4, 2008 by PB&JAM

[Koakland 0]

No worries Aubrey! we all have bad days! i'm flown into a couple rages before! i'm real sad today too, sooo lonely...just want my life with him to begin!

(Sorry about ur kitty, hope he gets better! i have 3 myself, love them to bits!)

Hang in there! we all understand...its real hard to deal with! really hard and painful! But hey, you found the love of your life! If this is what you have to go through to be with him, isnt it worth it?

I have hard days where i thought, forget it, its too hard! i'll just be single and call this all off!

But I cant live without him! He's my best friend and my love, if this is what i must endure, i will!

Be strong!!! You'll get your happy day too soon! *HUGS*

I'm right there with you. I've gotten pretty sad the past couple of weeks but I spoke with my fiance on the phone last night. It made me feel better. It's hard to start planning your life together, to get so excited about it, but still knowing that its so far away. Atleast my fiance and I will have a short visit together around Thanksgiving. I'm going to buy my tickets soon.

[Corinthians 7]

Those moments are precious!

And I agree that i don't think most couples in long distance relationships take each other for granted. We cherish each moment we have with our loved one, whether in person, via messenger, phone etc.

And like all july '08 filers, i tell myself that it won't be long until i will be with my SO.....finally

(Patience is a virtue....... I think we could all get gold medals for that )

Okay, I don't get that gold medal, because I am anything but patient with this whole thing! That's why Andy is here now! If I was patient, we'd have saved the money (and it's a lot when he's not working to be here, + the flight cost) towards our wedding instead of visiting. Being with him now trumps whatever happens to our ceremony... I think I take maybe an Honorable Mention in patience.

Aww, don't worry! I wasn't reading in disgust. Just reminding you to be strong and optimistic since that's what will make the difference between a bearable separation and an unbearable one . I'm glad we can all be here for each other!

Thanks for the wedding dress links too. I'm searching now! I'd put pics of the one I want up, but Sebastian is sneaky and would totally peek.

So he knows about this July filer thread? I think Andy likes to avoid thinking about all the bad stuff with this process, so he stopped reading VJ and only looks when I mention it. You can always send me a PM with your wedding dress idea...

And yeah, I know I should try to remain positive, but I get so disheartened when I don't have an end in sight. All that I have in front of me ATM is he's leaving, time apart, stress, unknowns, and reading posts like this that make me disgusted that I'm being penalized for doing this the "right way." I still find it ridiculous that it takes so many months and we STILL have to do AOS afterwards. Why can't I get married and adjust status from the VWP no matter what? Hell, it's legal to do in Germany!

Sorry for another rant... I'm having a bad day I guess. One of my cats is sick (he bit my finger when I gave him medicine this morning! ) and that post I read kind of set me off. But thanks for everyone for their posts and ongoing support. It's comforting to know that there are people here that understand and won't brush me off when I talk about it. Be sure I'll be there for all of you in the upcoming months!

Yeah, that loophole is pretty bad.

[crs 0]

Well Aubrey,

I am really sorry to read that some people just think doing it the VWP way is ok, because they are who slow us down, and the reason why they give people that visit too often a had time at the POE. So it is not just depressing: it's annoying. I am with you

[Gemmie 142]

I would be careful what you say about those who adjust status from the VWP because once I too called it a "loophole" and had a gang of posters jump on me for it for 1- implying that people were trying to commit fraud and 2- using the word "loophole".

It's hard to start planning your life together, to get so excited about it, but still knowing that its so far away.

I find this too, especially when everyone and their mother is asking when the wedding is, when he's coming over to visit, why he can't move to the UK, why it's so hard to move over there, why I have to get a visa, etc. . Whenever someone asks when the wedding is, I have a feeling of frustration/hopelessness/anxiety... because we just don't *know*. I always tell people I'm working on getting the visa before I start planning anything and they find that odd. Most people don't want to hear the "true" answers as it's too complicated so I get tired of having to try and give a short version only for them to ask again the next time.