Morbid question

[jom 4]

My husband and I have also made and agreeement about this.

We both want to be cremated. If I die first I will keep his ashes and when he dies, our ashes will be mixed and our children will have the responsibility to bury half here ( in the property where his parents' ashes have been buried ) and send half to my family in the Philippines where we can be buried too .

[Asante Maroon 0]

I guess it's a cultural thing... And in my culture (Caribbean) and other African cultures, it is a thing to be taken very seriously, and deserves at least some respect. If my husband asks to be buried back home, I will honor his request, because I love and respect him and his view/culture. If I made the same request I would hope he respected my wishes.

And... you must also consider the family of your SO. Your SO's request to be buried back home is surely no secret to his/her family. By not honoring your SO's request, you may be offending or disrespecting his family back home. That can stir up all kinds of ill will and contention. Family is everything in African and Caribbean culture...marrying some one of these backgrounds, call for understanding and respect for their culture, no matter how absurd it might appear to you.

Yes its expensive to send the body back home, but if you plan ahead, it wont be such a financial burden when the time comes. Life insurance is a good way to cover the cost of shipping the body

I agree with you. My husband's request to be buried in Morocco is his request and it doesn't really matter my opinion. I know its expensive, but isn't the average cost of a US funeral about $6000 or more?

Thank you, for making that point! Burials in general are very expensive.... Planning ahead is the best way to go!

[Ban Hammer 13,514]

given everyone here is an international couple, i think this is an important talk to have with the spouse. if nessa passed away before i did, i'd be obligated to consult with her mother regarding what to do next. i'm certain that nessa would want to be buried in brazil. as for me, i figure she can have me cremated and spread around the closest pizza hut.

oh and eta one more thing: life insurance - get it to help pay for transportation, burial costs, and so on should this happen.

Edited July 4, 2008 by charlesandnessa

[nopalavar 0]

given everyone here is an international couple, i think this is an important talk to have with the spouse. if nessa passed away before i did, i'd be obligated to consult with her mother regarding what to do next. i'm certain that nessa would want to be buried in brazil. as for me, i figure she can have me cremated and spread around the closest pizza hut.

oh and eta one more thing: life insurance - get it to help pay for transportation, burial costs, and so on should this happen.

True.

[Asante Maroon 0]

given everyone here is an international couple, i think this is an important talk to have with the spouse. if nessa passed away before i did, i'd be obligated to consult with her mother regarding what to do next. i'm certain that nessa would want to be buried in brazil. as for me, i figure she can have me cremated and spread around the closest pizza hut.

oh and eta one more thing: life insurance - get it to help pay for transportation, burial costs, and so on should this happen.

:rofl:

Exactly what I've been saying, minus the pizza hut

[Ta Ta 1]

Thanks for all the responses and good advice.

I will need another in depth discussion with him and won't brush this subject aside because once I make a promise I will not brake it and my word is good.

Any more cultural insight from anyone as to why the strong wish to be buried in the homeland please share. Maybe I am looking too deep, but it

interests me.

[Ta Ta 1]

http://www.deathreference.com/A-Bi/African-Religions.html

[LovinLiberia 0]

Did you get an answer out of him this weekend?

[Ta Ta 1]

Did you get an answer out of him this weekend?

Yes, when I told him the cost he said forget it, you can bury me in the US.

I don't know if he changes his mind again

[LovinLiberia 0]

ROFL, ooookay then, that was simple.

[Ta Ta 1]

Yes, very simple he had me all in a tizzy there for a minute.......as usual

[soon~tobe 0]

I lived in Ugandan for several years; burial is a huge part of the culture. Every Ugandan I have met wants to be buried in their home village, on their family land. Ugandan’s all have a home village that their family has been on for generations, you travel there for holidays, weddings and funerals. It is a very important part of the culture. For the funeral pretty much everyone they know will help pitch in money for funeral expenses and travel to the village for several days for the burial. I know my fiancé wants to be buried in Uganda, in his banana plantation, with his relatives. I hope to be buried there along side him also.

Ugandan’s do not culturally believe in cremation, and the idea seems to disgust most I have talked to. In a country where most people don’t have cars and there is not really funeral homes to help with arrangements I have seen many family member even transport a body home on a bicycle huge distances to make sure the body is take home to be buried. It’s amazing what a huge part funerals play in the culture.

[LovinLiberia 0]

I lived in Ugandan for several years; burial is a huge part of the culture. Every Ugandan I have met wants to be buried in their home village, on their family land. Ugandan’s all have a home village that their family has been on for generations, you travel there for holidays, weddings and funerals. It is a very important part of the culture. For the funeral pretty much everyone they know will help pitch in money for funeral expenses and travel to the village for several days for the burial. I know my fiancé wants to be buried in Uganda, in his banana plantation, with his relatives. I hope to be buried there along side him also.

Ugandan’s do not culturally believe in cremation, and the idea seems to disgust most I have talked to. In a country where most people don’t have cars and there is not really funeral homes to help with arrangements I have seen many family member even transport a body home on a bicycle huge distances to make sure the body is take home to be buried. It’s amazing what a huge part funerals play in the culture.

Thanks for sharing this. My husband's family has a burial plot and that is where he has requested to be buried. He also said that most foreigners to Liberia have requested to be sent back home once they die. I really think it has a lot to do with ties to your original home. It's funny that you mentioned transporting the dead body on the back of a bicycle because I was just reading a story yesterday about a Liberian guy who transported his dead family member on the back of his motorcycle. They were a poor family and that was their only means of transporting the body.

[Zi Zi 0]

My Dad is Nigerian and one day my sister asked him where he wants to be buried.

My father wants to be buried in Nigeria. I asked him why and he said..." He was afraid that if he was buried here in the USA no one would come to feed him"

One of there burial traditions in his village is you bring food to the death.

It might sound strange and silly to some of us ...but to him it was important.

So I will make sure that that happens.

[soon~tobe 0]

The bicycle thing is fun, but it is kind of a running joke I have with my SO, I want to be barried in Uganda, but i absolutly DO NOT want my body put on the back of a bicycle or motorcycle. I even joke if we can't afford to transport me just bury me where I die lol.