Friend Gets Goodbye Email from Fiance

[groovlstk 0]

Happy? Maybe for a short time. Unless a guy's extraordinarily wealthy, what's to prevent his Russian wife from upgrading once she arrives in the land of plenty? Not much! If she's young and attractive she'll have plenty of suitors to choose from when she's here.

Not sure I understand the point. This could be said of any marriage.

I'd thought it was obvious, but a woman who actually loves you isn't going to be constantly on the lookout to upgrade her relationship. A woman who marries simply for a $better lifestyle$ has nothing, outside of the material comforts you provide, to keep her from straying.

[mox 298]

I'd thought it was obvious, but a woman who actually loves you isn't going to be constantly on the lookout to upgrade her relationship. A woman who marries simply for a $better lifestyle$ has nothing, outside of the material comforts you provide, to keep her from straying.

Understood, but what I mean is that a woman who is predisposed to going after the next best thing is going to do it no matter what her stated motives. With any marriage, especially of the K variety, you go in with certain expectations. Those expectations may be a loving relationship, or one of convenience as Chuckles describes. In either case, there is a trust factor. A woman who professes to love you is not going to be any more or less trustworthy than a woman who agrees to a marriage of convenience.

[groovlstk 0]

Understood, but what I mean is that a woman who is predisposed to going after the next best thing is going to do it no matter what her stated motives. With any marriage, especially of the K variety, you go in with certain expectations. Those expectations may be a loving relationship, or one of convenience as Chuckles describes. In either case, there is a trust factor. A woman who professes to love you is not going to be any more or less trustworthy than a woman who agrees to a marriage of convenience.

The devil's in the details, of course. Sure a woman who professes to love you can be lying. By taking the time to get to know her before proposing, however, you can at least mitigate this risk. I haven't seen anyone posting here who willingly married a Russian woman knowing it was a marriage of convenience, and IMHO any guy so p****whipped to beg for a role as a sperm bank with a checkbook just to have the attention of a pretty Russian wife deserves the sad fate that certainly awaits him.

FWIW, I realized when I proposed to my wife that we had additional risks due to culture and language. As you can probably guess from my posts I'm fairly skeptical, but when I slipped the ring on her finger there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that she loved me (and to this day I still don't understand how she could have fallen for a bum like me).

(AFAIK, there was nothing in the OP's tale that indicated his friend was willing to marry for convenience, so this discussion is purely hypothetical.)

Edited July 10, 2008 by groovlstk

[visaveteran 1]

I'd thought it was obvious, but a woman who actually loves you isn't going to be constantly on the lookout to upgrade her relationship. A woman who marries simply for a $better lifestyle$ has nothing, outside of the material comforts you provide, to keep her from straying.

Understood, but what I mean is that a woman who is predisposed to going after the next best thing is going to do it no matter what her stated motives. With any marriage, especially of the K variety, you go in with certain expectations. Those expectations may be a loving relationship, or one of convenience as Chuckles describes. In either case, there is a trust factor. A woman who professes to love you is not going to be any more or less trustworthy than a woman who agrees to a marriage of convenience.

Trustworthiness is a secondary issue. Money hunger is the primary issue here. US women have their own wealth and success path...they don't need men to live well. And I have to say American women probably consider much more than just the financial bottom line when they decide to marry a man. The American ladies may dump you, but it might well have nothing to do with $$$.

And American women typically don't stray too far from their own age range...but as we all know, Russian women are down with 20 year age differences. So the field of men they can seek out and "upgrade" with is much larger.

Any woman can walk away...but if they're Russian, it's probably linked to doe-ray-me.

[NYGirl 0]

Understood, but what I mean is that a woman who is predisposed to going after the next best thing is going to do it no matter what her stated motives. With any marriage, especially of the K variety, you go in with certain expectations. Those expectations may be a loving relationship, or one of convenience as Chuckles describes. In either case, there is a trust factor. A woman who professes to love you is not going to be any more or less trustworthy than a woman who agrees to a marriage of convenience.

The devil's in the details, of course. Sure a woman who professes to love you can be lying. By taking the time to get to know her before proposing, however, you can at least mitigate this risk. I haven't seen anyone posting here who willingly married a Russian woman knowing it was a marriage of convenience, and IMHO any guy so p****whipped to beg for a role as a sperm bank with a checkbook just to have the attention of a pretty Russian wife deserves the sad fate that certainly awaits him.

FWIW, I realized when I proposed to my wife that we had additional risks due to culture and language. As you can probably guess from my posts I'm fairly skeptical, but when I slipped the ring on her finger there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that she loved me (and to this day I still don't understand how she could have fallen for a bum like me).(AFAIK, there was nothing in the OP's tale that indicated his friend was willing to marry for convenience, so this discussion is purely hypothetical.)

Mark, don't underestimate yourself. You are a great guy with a big and warm heart, very friendly, smart, and kind. And yeah, Polina is a SWEETHEART!!!

[mox 298]

(AFAIK, there was nothing in the OP's tale that indicated his friend was willing to marry for convenience, so this discussion is purely hypothetical.)

Welcome to the RU forum. We solve the problem on the first page, hypothesize over the next 2-4 pages, and then go wildly off-topic from there.

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

[Brad and Vika 129]

(AFAIK, there was nothing in the OP's tale that indicated his friend was willing to marry for convenience, so this discussion is purely hypothetical.)

Welcome to the RU forum. We solve the problem on the first page, hypothesize over the next 2-4 pages, and then go wildly off-topic from there.

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

Blueberry please!

[Ana&D 0]

I must say it is intersting to read you American men analyzing behavior of Russian/Ukrainian woman. All I have to say on the topic both you and your wives are corageous people. I mean, I doubt I would ever even consider marrying an American if I haven't met my darling on accident during my last stay in US and dated him for quite some time in person.

At the same time, there seems to be so many tales of Russian/Ukrainian woman marrying for money. And the funny thing is that none of them realises that life in America is just that - life. Hard working, ### busting life, where if you want to have nicer things you have to work for them.

Ok. Done with hypothetical. I like blueberry pies too... (Working hard to correspond to the RU forum standards here).

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

As requested before... (seems like it was back in winter. And, yes, Slim, I know it may not be manly) KEY LIME, Kirk! Пожалуйста!

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

[Neonred 3,564]

As requested before... (seems like it was back in winter. And, yes, Slim, I know it may not be manly) KEY LIME, Kirk! Пожалуйста!

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

Pecan pie please, or something I haven't had in years.....a Derby pie! (perhaps something unique to Louisville KY?)

[Brad and Vika 129]

As requested before... (seems like it was back in winter. And, yes, Slim, I know it may not be manly) KEY LIME, Kirk! Пожалуйста!

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

Pecan pie please, or something I haven't had in years.....a Derby pie! (perhaps something unique to Louisville KY?)

Derby pies (and Derby everything else except traffic jams) are overrated.

[Neonred 3,564]

As requested before... (seems like it was back in winter. And, yes, Slim, I know it may not be manly) KEY LIME, Kirk! Пожалуйста!

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

Pecan pie please, or something I haven't had in years.....a Derby pie! (perhaps something unique to Louisville KY?)

Derby pies (and Derby everything else except traffic jams) are overrated.

I don't know, but when I lived there I enjoyed getting up very early and going to the balloon races and watching the steam boat race on the Ohio river. I must admit It's been more than 20 years since I had derby pie..... time for another taste.

[Brad and Vika 129]

As requested before... (seems like it was back in winter. And, yes, Slim, I know it may not be manly) KEY LIME, Kirk! Пожалуйста!

So hmmmm...looks like we're due. Who likes pie?

Pecan pie please, or something I haven't had in years.....a Derby pie! (perhaps something unique to Louisville KY?)

Derby pies (and Derby everything else except traffic jams) are overrated.

I don't know, but when I lived there I enjoyed getting up very early and going to the balloon races and watching the steam boat race on the Ohio river. I must admit It's been more than 20 years since I had derby pie..... time for another taste.

Sometimes a dish tastes better with a side-order of nostalgia. Bon appetit!!

[mox 298]

I dunno, sounds good to me.

But I'll take my old standbys of either apple or banana cream.

[Bobalouie 0]

I dunno, sounds good to me.

But I'll take my old standbys of either apple or banana cream.

I will take one of each so far...I'm hungry

Edited to add a coconut creme!

Edited July 11, 2008 by Bobalouie