Friend Gets Goodbye Email from Fiance

[bruc 0]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email from his fiance telling him she wished not to leave Russia and hopes he can find his happiness with another Russian girl....she was to have her interview in Moscow in about two weeks.

She gave him no reasons or excuses in her email and will not talk to him on the phone.

I called him this morning and he said on his last trip to her a few weeks ago that she was excited about getting her interview. He said he saw nothing during his visit that would indicate that something was wrong. He's a great guy and has no financially problems.

He was upset and said he had no idea what her thinking was and was just going to do a wait and see thing with her and see if she changes her mind and does the interview.

I think I would see if she was just having cold feet and if I was not sure about that then I would run in the opposite direction real fast like.

I'll update as he tells me more.

Whew, I know his heart is hurting not to mention the amount of money and frustrations doing this process.

bruc

[Ana&D 0]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email from his fiance telling him she wished not to leave Russia and hopes he can find his happiness with another Russian girl....she was to have her interview in Moscow in about two weeks.

She gave him no reasons or excuses in her email and will not talk to him on the phone.

I called him this morning and he said on his last trip to her a few weeks ago that she was excited about getting her interview. He said he saw nothing during his visit that would indicate that something was wrong. He's a great guy and has no financially problems.

He was upset and said he had no idea what her thinking was and was just going to do a wait and see thing with her and see if she changes her mind and does the interview.

I think I would see if she was just having cold feet and if I was not sure about that then I would run in the opposite direction real fast like.

I'll update as he tells me more.

Whew, I know his heart is hurting not to mention the amount of money and frustrations doing this process.

bruc

Wow, that's a bit messed up... I do hope it's just a minor case of "cold feet" and it'll work out for you friend!!!

[Pavlovna7 1]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email from his fiance telling him she wished not to leave Russia and hopes he can find his happiness with another Russian girl....she was to have her interview in Moscow in about two weeks.

She gave him no reasons or excuses in her email and will not talk to him on the phone.

I called him this morning and he said on his last trip to her a few weeks ago that she was excited about getting her interview. He said he saw nothing during his visit that would indicate that something was wrong. He's a great guy and has no financially problems.

He was upset and said he had no idea what her thinking was and was just going to do a wait and see thing with her and see if she changes her mind and does the interview.

I think I would see if she was just having cold feet and if I was not sure about that then I would run in the opposite direction real fast like.

I'll update as he tells me more.

Whew, I know his heart is hurting not to mention the amount of money and frustrations doing this process.

bruc

Maybe she had an old boyfiend who she went back to. I have a girlfriend who it happened to. But in her case she came here and lived here for 6 month. They got married and then one of these days her ex boyfriend called her new home and she left her new american hubby to be with him. Sad, but true. One thing i tell you - if it happens maybe it was not real LOVE and that man is better off? and if something like that happens - better now then after she gets here!

Or of course, maybe she dont want to live her family. It is hard to live people you love - talking from expirience.

Anyway, if it is just cold fee and she loves him - it will all work out in the end. and if not - this relationship is not ment to be.

[Chuckles 0]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email from his fiance telling him she wished not to leave Russia and hopes he can find his happiness with another Russian girl....she was to have her interview in Moscow in about two weeks.

She gave him no reasons or excuses in her email and will not talk to him on the phone.

I called him this morning and he said on his last trip to her a few weeks ago that she was excited about getting her interview. He said he saw nothing during his visit that would indicate that something was wrong. He's a great guy and has no financially problems.

He was upset and said he had no idea what her thinking was and was just going to do a wait and see thing with her and see if she changes her mind and does the interview.

I think I would see if she was just having cold feet and if I was not sure about that then I would run in the opposite direction real fast like.

I'll update as he tells me more.

Whew, I know his heart is hurting not to mention the amount of money and frustrations doing this process.

bruc

I don't like this situation, and I hope this person finds happiness, as I do with everyone on the planet.

But why post this if we are not supposed to know who this is? Why not just leave it as a completely private matter instead of making us wonder (natural human nature, don't you think)?

[bruc 0]

I would like to thank the ones of you that have sent me pm's and have offered some insight into what could have happened or taken place and offered your help.

My fiance got her on the phone and she did talk to her for a few minutes and asked her to give her a couple days to think about what she had done and call her back.

It was also posted on two more forums by two more guys and the support from the guys that had been there and done that offered a lot of different reasons as to why she did it. Most of the guys with wives here and still with fiances over there offer their help with giving her a call also.

After talking to her for a few minutes my fiance seems to think she might have gotten cold feet...

Thanks,

bruc

[akdiver 3]

I think she probably got a "better offer" from someone else.

[Satellite 1]

I think she probably got a "better offer" from someone else.

I'll second that.

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email from his fiance telling him she wished not to leave Russia and hopes he can find his happiness with another Russian girl....she was to have her interview in Moscow in about two weeks.

She gave him no reasons or excuses in her email and will not talk to him on the phone.

I called him this morning and he said on his last trip to her a few weeks ago that she was excited about getting her interview. He said he saw nothing during his visit that would indicate that something was wrong. He's a great guy and has no financially problems.

He was upset and said he had no idea what her thinking was and was just going to do a wait and see thing with her and see if she changes her mind and does the interview.

I think I would see if she was just having cold feet and if I was not sure about that then I would run in the opposite direction real fast like.

I'll update as he tells me more.

Whew, I know his heart is hurting not to mention the amount of money and frustrations doing this process.

bruc

i think it's cold feet too. the question this friend of yours needs to consider is this: does he really want to spend more time, emotion, and money on someone who isn't 100% sure she wants to be with him?

i wish him the best, but i think he can find someone way better that won't run on him.

[slim 1,525]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email

Yeah, we haven't seen him on this forum for a while and it was pretty abrubt. There are a million things that could've happened and who knows what really did.

However, we're here to talk about it when he's ready to come back.

[NYGirl 0]

I was talking to a friend this morning and he told me that one of our friends had gotten an email

Yeah, we haven't seen him on this forum for a while and it was pretty abrubt. There are a million things that could've happened and who knows what really did.

However, we're here to talk about it when he's ready to come back.

Hmmm, I wonder if it's MOX.

[bruc 0]

Amazing when there's no news to report and someone takes a long weekend off with his children and the speculations fly, but I do have news to report now and it's good news.

The issue was that she had been hearing a lot of bad reports for a month about how bad our economy was and her friends advising her not to do the interview and definitely not relocate here. She had a nice job there and friends she could depend on so why take the risk.

My fiance and a couple of girls that's been here for a few years finally got her to talk to them on the phone. I think with my fiance not being here and had no plans to back out and not come and the two girls here telling her everything was fine for them and she should reconsider her actions she had a change of heart and mind.

This took several phones call to her from a lot of people discussing this with her.

She sent her fiance a sms and told him to call her and he did. Some of us know the conversation and heard the conversation between them including the two girls from Russia.

She was very upset when she talked to him and was very apologetic for her actions towards him and asked for forgiveness and to not leave her.More in the conversation but I think that should remain just between the ones of us that heard it.

Her interview is this week and her fiance landed in Moscow this morning and we understand was greeted with much happiness from her. He went to give them his support for the interview and his care for them.

She also asked him if he would stay for another week and let them fly back with him and those are his intentions.

When they arrive back in Atlanta a pile of us will be there to greet them with big smiles on our faces, and too, our small community is being blessed with another family from Russia joining us.

Sometimes it pays to not jump to conclusions, keep patience and find out what the problem is before taking any actions that one might regret later and this is just what her fiance did. We also need to learn from these unfortunate things such as this one.

Thanks for all your input and suggestions.

bruc

[slim 1,525]

If her friends influenced her so greatly as to change her plans of marrying this guy, I don't think I'd be letting her out of the house much once she got here! Definitely wouldn't be letting her make a lot of friends.

And then it took a conference call to finally sway her?

It's hard enough to make it with a girl that wants to come here. One that's "not sure" is going to be even more challenging. I sincerely hope this was just a case of her being "overly cautious" and things getting caught up in the international translations, etc., and not a case of her being so influenced by the gossip of her friends that she'd call off getting married to a guy she loves. That makes me question her motivations in the first place.

But, that's not my business so if the update is that she wants to go through with it and he's OK with that, good. That's their business. Good luck. I can see how it could happen. Personally though, I think I'd be the one ready to call it off now if she was willing to call it off simply because of what her friends were telling her. But, once again, I'm not involved here.

Time will tell.

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

If her friends influenced her so greatly as to change her plans of marrying this guy, I don't think I'd be letting her out of the house much once she got here! Definitely wouldn't be letting her make a lot of friends.

And then it took a conference call to finally sway her?

It's hard enough to make it with a girl that wants to come here. One that's "not sure" is going to be even more challenging. I sincerely hope this was just a case of her being "overly cautious" and things getting caught up in the international translations, etc., and not a case of her being so influenced by the gossip of her friends that she'd call off getting married to a guy she loves. That makes me question her motivations in the first place.

But, that's not my business so if the update is that she wants to go through with it and he's OK with that, good. That's their business. Good luck. I can see how it could happen. Personally though, I think I'd be the one ready to call it off now if she was willing to call it off simply because of what her friends were telling her. But, once again, I'm not involved here.

Time will tell.

amen

[visaveteran 1]

My comments:

I agree with Slim that if the marriage rises and falls on the US economy (which is really bad right now) then the long-tern outlook for this couple is not good. I understand the material side to Russian women but there must also be some degree of love and affection to ground the relationship. I recall our friend, Irish44, and his sad situation.

I will also comment that I don't really get this thread...what's the purpose? Unidentified people with vague problems being discussed by a forum which they do not belong to. I never trust these discussion when a third party is selectively telling us the supposed facts.

This seems a private inner circle matter and I'm not invited to join...so why should I care?

[bruc 0]

First let me say I made this post as what could be a warning to some of you with something that could be happening to some of you also and to get comments on your thoughts. Thank you for your comments positive and negative and I certainly wish you all the best.

You all "were" a part of this and it doesn't matter that this person should be a member of this forum or any other forum which he is not.

We should be smart enough to learn from other persons problems and solutions to their problems and this has certainly been good information for a lot of guys out there is what we're hearing. It also made me listen and talk to my fiance about it and other guys are doing the same thing.

The day her fiance called her was not a conference call. He asked us to listen in on their conversation to help him decide if she was sincere or not especially the two girls from Russia listening.

We could tell that between the media and her friends that she had gotten scared and worried about the future of she and her two young daughters here. We all agreed we would have felt the same way in the same situation and the two girls from Russia said "she was definitely scared" and understood her actions. We never know what could"really" be happening in the background no matter how solid you think your relationship is.

It didn't have anything to do with love and trust. She loves him and trust him but she wasn't so sure about our country and what the future held even the possibility of her fiance eventually being unemployed and not being able to support them. I certainly understand this and you should also because the only real person that knows your future is your employer and you never know when you might get walking papers yourself. I'm an employer so I can tell you that I know more about what's happening in my company than they do.

Last week a bank here gave four of their people their walking papers because of the economy. One of them told me none of them saw it coming until the morning it happened to them...so you never know. I certainly hope all of you do survive this attack on our economy and not loose your jobs.It's scary out there right now for a lot of us that own businesses.

I do have good news on my part. I got a call from my fiance this morning about 4am, woke me from my sleep to tell me we have an interview in September. It was a long haul for us because our paperwork got lost and we had to refile. We didn't start throwing things, yelling and do all those things to

to vent our frustrations. We both had a little laugh and said oh well, here we go again and kept the patience that it would eventually happen for us and it did.

Like most everyone doing this frustrating process I have learned a lot here and I will leave you with a wealth of information not only learned from you but gained from our own personal experiences.

I'm also thankful that my fiance and daughter will have a nice support group here in our community that speaks their language and understands her culture more than I do to help them adjust to their new lifestyles here.

I wish all of you still in the process the best and to keep your chins up, it will eventually happen for you also. I wish all of you that are married a much successful life with your Russian wife.

bruc