Am I now banned from the USA ?

[Euro 3]

Bloody hell Alan, i was shocked to read your post, .........I hope things work out the way you want them to

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Oh Alan, that's awful; I'm sorry. I don't think you would be stopped from visiting, but I will also defer to someone who knows for sure. The reason I think this is because you did everything the legal way the first time, you didn't try to 'get around' any processes. This should be a huge indication that you wouldn't do it again...but, again, I'm not sure. I wish you all the best in the future, whatever that holds for you. M.

[Fandango 1,440]

Alan, is there any way you could come back to sort the interview out? You know, just go anyways and state your case that you're not staying here? Then you could get something in writing saying that you are able to return for a trip?

[Daisy 0]

I am so very sorry to hear this. You both look so happy together, we none of us know what is around the corner do we?

Your time to take care of you. Good Luck.

wishing you every happiness in the future, daisy

[iceyspots 0]

umm... I dont know if you can do this, but did you file police reports when she did all this stuff to you? I was going to say you could claim abuse and get a green card...

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

So sorry to hear this Alan -- I hope you are finding small comforts in thick warm duvets, a proper pint of ale, nice cheese and the beauty of the yorkshire dales

[SanDan 0]

I really hope things will work out for you Alan Good luck

(*edited for spelling)

Edited May 14, 2006 by SanDan

[Dixie_Peach 1]

i am so sorry that you had to live through that experience...

i will be praying for you... for strength, good mental, emotional & physical health... and peace...

May God bless you and bring you comfort!

Lynne

[diadromous mermaid 36]

My green card interview is on Wednesday May 17 but I won't be going. My marriage has collapsed and I am back in the UK. My wife has deleted her email address at home, put a block on it at work and unhooked her phone answering machine and uses caller ID so she screens out my calls. She refuses texts and letters. I ran off home after she threatened to shoot me, threw my new laptop on the floor, tore up my tickets, tried to destroy my passport and threw the tv controller at me with such velocity that it went straight through the dry wall at the side of my head. She raged at me 3 times per day on average on all new subjects and stormed out of restaurants swearing and throwing meals away. She got a book on anger management and almost hit me with it ! A psychiatrist has advised me that such people can keep these conditions 'in a box' so people at work never suspect and fiancées don't suspect. Only after you marry are these forces released because now you are family. Many people say that ‘they change’ after marriage but this was Jekyll and Hyde. I love her totally despite her illness but I had to get out for safety and I would have gone back.

We were planning to move to the UK eventually so not being able to live in the US and leaving my new car etc behind is no problem - but I wonder: In years to come will I be able to holiday in the US on visa waiver - or will they say I once expressed a desire to settle so I cannot enter ?

It may be years before I find a woman who passes my close scrutiny as to her mental condition, but it would be so embarrassing to be turned away say in Florida...

My question is serious but I would like to warn everyone because this immigration stuff forces you to marry quicker than you would normally after you meet a wonderful person. In my case it has resulted in a nightmare which I am fighting to survive. Being ‘shunned’ and unable to talk it through with my wife is an appalling torture – some churches use ‘shunning’ to discipline people and it is a very effective torture. I have never known any distress like this or even approaching this…

I spent almost 2 years on this and I have lost at least 100k dollars and my beautiful wonderful wife and I am under enormous despair which is deepening daily. I lived 18 years on my own and I was so grateful to be with her and I slaved for her and made all her meals and washed her car and looked after her garden and paid for everything – I have never tried so hard and given so much nor been so committed to anything – and now it is all horror and fear for the future – mine and hers.

We married on the 4th November 2005 and I was attacked on the first day back from honeymoon. Beware you lovers and don’t let the USCIS regulations push you into something that you have not totally for sure checked out…. I don’t think waiting 90 days to the end of the K1 would have helped – we had been together a lot for over a year – Pandora’s box only opens when you marry.

Alan

You could write a letter to the local office, advising that you have returned to the UK and that you will not be adjusting. I know it might not reach the office on the date of the interview, but if you dash it off right away, I would think it would make its way into the file. To cover any future needs, you could inform them that you left close to the interview, for reasons that the marriage had broken down, but that you wanted USCIS to know. Having left the country, I would imagine that you've demonstrated respect for proper procedure.

[JimiInLove 0]

I love her totally despite her illness but I had to get out for safety and I would have gone back.

Alan

That woman is insane, you are almost just as crazy as her for trying to contact her by email,phone, and text. I ain't a person to hit a lady, but if is crazy as you say, I might have caught her with a hook.

Do Like Jay-z,

always replace em' never chase em'

As for your question, you shouldnt have a problem coming here to vacation.

[Fandango 1,440]

I love her totally despite her illness but I had to get out for safety and I would have gone back.

Alan

That woman is insane, you are almost just as crazy as her for trying to contact her by email,phone, and text. I ain't a person to hit a lady, but if is crazy as you say, I might have caught her with a hook.

Do Like Jay-z,

always replace em' never chase em'

As for your question, you shouldnt have a problem coming here to vacation.

you are seriously such an azzhole. Does quoting Jayz make you think you're cool?

Act like a real man and if you haven't anything constructive to say, then shut the #### up.

[allserene 0]

Thanks for your sympathy VJ folks - I spent many hours with you all through the process...

i would still take her back if she rang me - I must be as crazy as her although the love thing is weird ...

remember the line in 'Wall street' - 'thing about money is it makes you do things you dont want to do' well I suppose that love is the same.

When I was 19 I was in the Police and saw so many battered women take their men back and refuse to prosecute - I thought they were stupid and idiots and I have all ways wondered why they were so weak with their broken arms and black eyes. Now I have been in the same position as these women and I see how it works...

At last I understand 40 years later.

Believe me you can't tell in the early stages - it comes out and bites when you have passed the point of no return and builds quickly - ask anyone who has actually been there. It starts with a banged door, then name calling, then cursing at you and then locking you out of the bedroom or house and then throwing things and then threats to physically harm you and then ....thats when I left - I got home with a bust lip where my shoes were thrown at my face and 100k lighter but here I am missing her like hell -

She didnt miss me - she was a good shot ! - hooray I think I got out with my sense of humour unbruised !

alan

[Fandango 1,440]

Thanks for your sympathy VJ folks - I spent many hours with you all through the process...

i would still take her back if she rang me - I must be as crazy as her although the love thing is weird ...

remember the line in 'Wall street' - 'thing about money is it makes you do things you dont want to do' well I suppose that love is the same.

When I was 19 I was in the Police and saw so many battered women take their men back and refuse to prosecute - I thought they were stupid and idiots and I have all ways wondered why they were so weak with their broken arms and black eyes. Now I have been in the same position as these women and I see how it works...

At last I understand 40 years later.

Believe me you can't tell in the early stages - it comes out and bites when you have passed the point of no return and builds quickly - ask anyone who has actually been there. It starts with a banged door, then name calling, then cursing at you and then locking you out of the bedroom or house and then throwing things and then threats to physically harm you and then ....thats when I left - I got home with a bust lip where my shoes were thrown at my face and 100k lighter but here I am missing her like hell -

She didnt miss me - she was a good shot ! - hooray I think I got out with my sense of humour unbruised !

alan

Alan not to play Devil's Advocate or anything, but if she is seriously mentally ill & needs help & you would still take her back...why not try to get her treatment?

[gimygirl 0]

alan ...

what a shock to read ... i'm sorry to hear that. glad to hear that you kept your head about you and took the safe route. i think that you should at least speak to someone before you decide to head back into the abuse. as you know, you weren't able to spot it the first time and the consequences can be deadly the second time around. circumstances can improve with medication and help if she's willing ... best of luck to you!

on a positive note (hoping to make you laugh) ... no more worries about duvets for the time being!!

[JimiInLove 0]

Thanks for your sympathy VJ folks - I spent many hours with you all through the process...

i would still take her back if she rang me - I must be as crazy as her although the love thing is weird ...

remember the line in 'Wall street' - 'thing about money is it makes you do things you dont want to do' well I suppose that love is the same.

When I was 19 I was in the Police and saw so many battered women take their men back and refuse to prosecute - I thought they were stupid and idiots and I have all ways wondered why they were so weak with their broken arms and black eyes. Now I have been in the same position as these women and I see how it works...

At last I understand 40 years later.

Believe me you can't tell in the early stages - it comes out and bites when you have passed the point of no return and builds quickly - ask anyone who has actually been there. It starts with a banged door, then name calling, then cursing at you and then locking you out of the bedroom or house and then throwing things and then threats to physically harm you and then ....thats when I left - I got home with a bust lip where my shoes were thrown at my face and 100k lighter but here I am missing her like hell -

She didnt miss me - she was a good shot ! - hooray I think I got out with my sense of humour unbruised !

alan

I Really aint trying to be mean,

But she beat you, threw stuff at you, wont answer your phone calls or anytype of communications.

I think maybe it was not anger problems, maybe, just maybe im guessing that she tried to break it off with you before and had to resort to physical attacks to get you to leave her alone.

ANd PLEASE Sir, your not in the same position as a battered woman, because the husband usually tries to get them back, practically begging for their love. Your wife is pretty much telling you, to bug off.

I might get banned for this post, but someobody has to say it.