Where did she go?

[Corey3368 3]

Ken just want to wish you all the best!........BE STRONG AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

[Ken y Leidys 20]

Bet the guys who put up these sites are getting filthy rich, with relatively little effort.

No kidding.

Um, I visited the Introductions International facility in the El Prado-section of Barranquilla, and it looked as if business was humming along. Introductions International (http://www.latin-wife.com) provides an array of services for (primarily) North American men who are in search of women in Colombia (primarily the Barranquilla region).

This business is set up out of a home office, and the house appeared very nice. When you look at the photos of the women, they are being photographed from inside of the house - which appears to be a museum, from behind the lens' eye. Take a look at the profiles, and you will see what I mean. There is another room where all computer programming and true office work appears to take place, and this is the nucleus of the operation. Jamie, the owner works here and this is also where I met him.

His companys services include; Introductions, Translation services, Fiance Visa Paperwork Help, ENGLISH LESSONS, and even helps send out Spanish/English translators in the field to help you hook that special someone. I am thankful there are services such as this one, because without the liberty of moving someplace for a few years, services such as this one helps pinpoint that person you are looking for much more easily. The women's profiles on Jamie's website are much more intuitive, with more information. Jamie praises Latin women openly on his website - I met his wife at the doorway of their facility/home, and she appeared to be expecting, and in her 3rd trimester.

[Ken y Leidys 20]

Ken just want to wish you all the best!........BE STRONG AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP

Thanks, amigo. I am feeling better. I now realize my relationship with Onelis bore the signs of trouble, personal issues she is grappling with related to the father of her child. Unresolved issues, but personal ones that I don't want to discuss in a public Internet forum. I loved Onelis deeply. I dreampt of combining her family with mine. In March, her son had asked me if I would like to be his father. "Of Course!" I told him, and I gave the little 5 yr. old boy a big hug for being so brave to ask me this question.

But sadly, Onelis and I had some issues that I strongly believe were not letting us move completely forward in the relationship. While I do not have any problem whatsoever of dating and possibly marrying a woman with children, I have had several experiences both here in the United States, and in Latin America with women who were unable to 'detatch' (as Maria put it), from their prior experiences, and move forward without carrying too many scars from their past experiences. Sadly, these unresolved experiences were impacting my relationship with Onelis. I still love Onelis, but for my own benefit, I had to just let her go.

The last day when we visited the mall, and said goodbye to each other at the hotel was one of the most sad, disappointing days of my life. I knew I would have to emotionally move on. My friend Andrew told me this would be necessary after he saw me lingering after my divorce. Prior to his passing away, he suggested that I just, "Go out and meet someone" in order to feel healthy again. 2 months later (June '07), he succumed to Leukemia.

This is what brought me to the Internet, and to these websites. I had been dating women (successfully) here in Southern California, but with all of the stories I had been hearing about divorce statistics, I felt an International Introduction (of sorts), could provide me with a more stable, long-lasting marriage - complete with children (adopted or biological).

I believe I met my correct match, but I need time and space in order to heal. I have been through the pain of watching a "perfectly" healthy spouse/best friend nearly die from the effects of undiagnosed Systemic Lypus, then, her joining an Eastern Cult, then come down with Cancer, the uncertainty of her living through that, and finally, our divorce over my objection to her affiliation with this cult. It has been a long road which brought me to Visa Journey. But now that I am here, I refuse to leave.

Edited July 19, 2008 by Ken y Onelis

[Brad and Vika 129]

Hi Ken - first let me say thanks for sharing your story. The pics from Columbia were pretty interesting.

I am relatively new to VJ, and to internet forums generally. That may explain the inconsistent nature of my posts. Although I try to be constructive, I do lapse into hysterical thread jacking occasionally. I apologize to you if anything I posted in good fun was offensive to you in any way. I looked at the vids you posted of your own - also interesting. As a producer/editor of that kind of entertainment, you can understand that sometimes a project can get off track. When you have a time pressure or emotional distraction (and you have had plenty I think), and a limited ability to edit your work, the final effect on your audience can be a bit different than intended. I suspect that happened on this thread.

We all looked on with sympathy as you expressed worry and confusion about your fiance'. All of the USC members on VJ can relate, or at least imagine, losing touch with their intended that way. There are so many possible reasons (technologic, economic, emotional) for a woman in the third world to drop from sight that any normal guy would sweat it as weeks go by. While you were in the thick of things though, the nature of the posts you sent changed abruptly. You seemed to change from Ken the anxious, worried, cross-bearing fiance' to SuperKen, the date machine. Lots of women, lots of names, and a light-heartedness that seemed out of character for the hero of the story. If you read those posts again, you will see the point where the expressions of sympathy largely ended, and the joke-cracking started. Upon your return, you showed an admirable calm, and an apparent desire to get the rest of the story out. Women in Onelis' situation (that of remaining attached somehow to a man in their home country) is a pretty common thing to see on VJ. It is unfortunately part of the risk we run in this drawn out visa process.

I think I speak for most of us that followed your thread when I say that I wish you well, and hope to read about your further adventures "south of the border". Be well.

Brad

[no name 1]

It is a two way street. The US guys get a hot wife, the latinas get a rich husband, I really don't see what the problem is.

They're rich?

Says who?

[no name 1]

Future plans? I turn 40 a week from Monday.

Ahhhhh this entire thread is making sense now!!!

It is? Cults & Tijuana, oh my!

I was in a hurry to leave for a trip to the mall. While drying off after taking my shower, I leaned up against the sink, and WHAM!! SMASH!!! The hotel staff was instantly running upstairs to see where the noise had come from. I limped out of my room, and to the stairway - near THE couch, and the guys asked if I was, "Okay" and they sent their maintenance guy out for a look at the sink. I told everyone that I wanted to pay for the damage, that I felt bad about "Destroying" my hotel room, and they just laughed. I wasn't charged for the damage, and I have a friend off of VJ who will probably be staying there next month, so they will earn their money back for replacing the sink...

Maybe Ken runs a singles dating service as well!

[Caladan 19]

It is a two way street. The US guys get a hot wife, the latinas get a rich husband, I really don't see what the problem is.

They're rich?

Says who?

Compared to living in a place where rains regularly flood out the phone lines and no one has money to pay the phone bill? Where your home gets invaded? Doesn't have to be rich to be a big step up.

This whole story's pretty insane. For your own sake, Ken, please indulge in some introspection.

[no name 1]

I still love Onelis, but for my own benefit, I had to just let her go.

Really? Cuz you said she let YOU go.... Things sure do change in a few days....new stories, new fiances, etc.

Onelis told me that she was afraid of leaving Colombia for the United States. She would miss her way of life, her friends and family. She spent these 4 weeks thinking about things, and although I had my thoughts I figured this was only because we hadn´t spoken in so long. She told me that she still loved me, that she wanted a friendship, and possibly to visit the United States - as a friend, not someone who would start a family with me. I told her this would not be possible since I have been down this road with my ex-wife. I tried to win her over, but instead, it only postponed the inevitable.

Stephanie told me that Onelis wanted to talk to me. So, I spoke tonight with Onelis. She will be at my hotel at 9 a.m. promptly. She was angry but firm with me about my new ¨friend¨, but that is sidestepping the original issue that no communication had been attempted and that she had called things off with me. Not the other way around.

------

Yet, you LOVE her family...I find the word 'pumped' a rather harsh word for a family you 'love'.

In 1 month, Onelis and her family pumped me for $1,100.00 - If I didn't love her, that money would have gone to someplace other than Western Union.

-----

I had been dating women (successfully) here in Southern California

yet...

When I arrived here, I knew a decision would have to be made. When I get home, there is nothing waiting for me. Here, I can ¨entertain¨the possilities. Possibilities which will turn into a plan while I sit completely alone in my baking-hot Riverside, CA. When I get home, I will be alone, alone, alone. Nobody, nothing. 2 Dogs, a house, a broken t.v., a tricked out Jeep, a music studio & video editing bay. A bed. 2 elderly parents. A couple of friends that live far away.

----

I just don't get the arrogance involved here. It's truly mind-boggling. As the thread has grown - so has the ego. As Caladan said, do some introspection. You & your fiance broke up not even a week ago & yet you already have a new one (or close enough). Marriage is not like going out to dinner & picking from a menu, you can't just re-order if your meal is not not what you want.

[MrsCat 6]

Happy 40th Ken!

I hope for you in 30 years from now - you get to look at your latin wife and say - "wow the weeks before I turned 40 were insane. You really evened me out. I am fortunate to have you."

And of course I hope you print every last one of your posts on this thread and show them to your adult children. So they too can see a glimpse into their dad's former life.

[LoriLawless 0]

I'd like to know more about the cult.

I this thread.

[Caladan 19]

I don't get it. It's like watching a train wreck. There is an industry selling you a line (you're so wonderful that you can only be appreciated by women that our 'translation' services can hook you up with and it has nothing to do with you being American, honest! Women here are so loyal and so loving they naturally fall for you after two days while you try on other women!!) and you're eating it up.

P.T. Barnum was off by a factor of 100.

If this is what typically comes through the Columbian consulate, no wonder it takes so long to sort out the wheat from the chaff.

[Peikko 1,575]

How can we 'get it'? We are not Ken and only have a very small glimpse of what has happened in his life. We don't know, nor do we probably share his particular hopes and dreams for a wife and family. Maybe he has 'bought into' this line that latinas are more x.y.z than their US counterparts and maybe he only partially has. Does it really matter to any of us? Not really, he'll do as he pleases and more than likely as not what he pleases will prove satisfactory to him. If it does not well, he'll be in good company.

I think what is pertinant is that neither side of this particular 'bargain' is completely niave. He has to know that at least partly the women from this city are looking for a ticket out of their conditions and part of his bargain is that he can get a younger, prettier (in his estimation) wife. It's not everyone's cup of tea but it is his.

But regarding the 'fictionalized' version of his life, well, it has been entertaining.

[Sassy1natl 0]

Ken... I am sorry for the heartbreak that you have had to endure. Things will get better. As for everything else...it's your life. Do what you do. And forget everything else.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I would imagine if say, a Russian hockey team were staying a few days in a small U.S. town, the local single women would be looking to meet up with the players just because they are different and they know they won't be staying long. I don't think you can size up every local girl's attraction to an outsider because they see him as a ticket out of their meager existence. Sometimes being from the outside is intriguing or exotic enough to spark interest to the locals....and in Ken's case, he pointed that out - it wasn't just the local women, but the locals in general were intrigued by him. Perhaps some see him as a bag of money, but I doubt everyone does. To think everyone from a poorer country is intrigued by people with more money is as much a stereotype as these international dating services trying to sell romance.

[MrsCat 6]

Sometimes being from the outside is intriguing or exotic enough to spark interest to the locals....and in Ken's case, he pointed that out - it wasn't just the local women, but the locals in general were intrigued by him. Perhaps some see him as a bag of money, but I doubt everyone does. To think everyone from a poorer country is intrigued by people with more money is as much a stereotype as these international dating services trying to sell romance.

Personally, I think people are attracted/repulsed/interested/angry about this thread because we're not just looking at a whole different part of someone else's life but we're learning about ourselves through it.

When you read Ken's post you think to yourself - Is that what I would have done? Would I have said that? Would I be feeling that way about this or that situation? Would I have been so humble with how these events unravelled? Could I be one of these women? What if my life's circumstances had been different?

We can judge and put our thoughts and comments into this thread. Personally, if I had been Ken reading some of these - I would have stopped posting a long time ago. He didn't let it deter him. That's something I like about him. He doesn't stop to correct someone's opinion of him - just to correct the facts as he sees them.

I think Ken is probably a really good video editor - as he was able to capture our thoughts and interest and make us feel like we can openly comment about these turn of events in his life. He told us his story and we cared in our varying ways.

Edited July 19, 2008 by cattattude