To The Women

[brnidokiegurl 0]

Oil Change instructions for Women :

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 miles since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent:

Oil Change:

$20.00

Coffee: $1.00

Total: $21.00

==========

Oil Change instructions for Men :

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by 7/11 and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20, drive home.

3) Open a beer and d rink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place dr ain pan under engine.

8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9) Give up and use crescent wrench.

10) Unscrew drain plug.

11) Drop drain p lug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

< BR>15) Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid enviro nmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19) Remember drain plug from step 11.

20) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21) Drink beer.

22) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23) Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24) Crawl un der car getting kitty litter into eyes. W ipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25) Begin cussing fit.

26) Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27) Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28) Beer.

29) Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30) Beer.

31) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32) Beer.

33) Lower car from jack stands.

34) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35) Beer.

36) Test drive car.

37) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38) Car gets impounded.

39) Call loving wife, make bail.

40) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:

Parts: $50.00

DUI: $2500.00

Impound fee: $75.00

Bail: $1500.00

Beer: $20.00

Total: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

[Marlita 0]

This is soooo funny and true. My dad would always go off at me about needing to learn to change my oil myself and I'm like what for?! Jiffy Lube will do it in 30 mins and I can still make it to the mall later on.

Why would anyone change their own oil in this day in age. I get a free carwash with oil change.

[Nagishkaw 510]

# 24 made me laugh out loud.

I always get my oil changed at my mechanic's shop. Sure, I pay 35$ , but this way I know he is licensed, been going to him for over 16 years, he's the only one who works on my car, and he does a lot of extra's, like rotating the tires and checking for possible problems and making sure all my fluids are filled. These fly- by- night places may be cheaper, but they usually hire any Joe Blow off the streets who likely is not state certified. Not the kind of person I want messing around under my hood.

[Ban Hammer 13,333]

actually, oil changes are about $35 nowadays, so that figure you have shows you've been doing your own.

[Ilya R. 0]

yeah most women dont get oil changes for their car anyway

[msu17 0]

yeah most women dont get oil changes for their car anyway

Haha, not in my family! My dad and my husband NEVER get the oil changed. If my mom and I want it done, we have to take it ourselves...

[DeadPoolX 9]

yeah most women dont get oil changes for their car anyway

Haha, not in my family! My dad and my husband NEVER get the oil changed. If my mom and I want it done, we have to take it ourselves...

Actually, the men in your family do get the oil changed. They just do indirectly. They wait until you and your mom do it for them. That way, the oil gets changed and they don't have to lift a finger.

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Get off your butt and help! Instead of complaining

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

5 qt oil $12.00

Filter $3.47

____________

Total $15.47

Time 15 minutes

Savings over quick lube $20.00

New plugs and wires

Plugs 6 $24.00

Wires $35.00

PCV valve $19.00

________________

Total $78.00

Time 1 hour

Savings over mechanic $222.00

[Dr. Obvious 49]

I am not so cruel to my car that I would subject it to Jiffy Lube.

[Emancipation 2]

Ha ha!!!

This made me laugh so!!!!

Hubby does go to the quick oil change places but he has to have synthetic oil (that he purchases separately) and a VERY specific filter (again that he purchases separately).. it's like 40$ for the parts and then the 30$ they charge for the labor

EVERY time we go I'm like huh?????????

He tells me it's essential to the cars performance..