my hubby is having a hard day

[jundp 191]

I also really like the email thing... I always send him one when I get home from work or even a quick note on msn messenger but doesn't get reciprocated...

I noticed you're in Seattle Jundp??

I am in Seattle, is that where you are? I think there are quite a number of us here. We should plan a VJ Meetup at some point.

I hope things go smoother for you both. The first few weeks after a visit are the hardest I think. Then it sort of becomes routine.

[nunyab 0]

I took a peek at your timeline...do you plan on going to Morocco this summer?

I was hoping to go back for the last week in Ramadan.. .... but haven't made plans yet. We really need to start planning something as a way to look forward to being together with a set date.... and please.. peak away we had a touch june 16th but i think it was linking the two together...i recieved my NAO1 for the I129F the same day.

Not much longer, in the scheme of things. Easy for me to say, but sometimes you have to step back and look at the whole picture. No?

You don't think "much longer?" when I look at the other timelines they all fall around 6 months to 1 yr... but hay won't complain if it's fast

[nunyab 0]

I also really like the email thing... I always send him one when I get home from work or even a quick note on msn messenger but doesn't get reciprocated...

I noticed you're in Seattle Jundp??

I am in Seattle, is that where you are? I think there are quite a number of us here. We should plan a VJ Meetup at some point.

I hope things go smoother for you both. The first few weeks after a visit are the hardest I think. Then it sort of becomes routine.

Is there??? Let's do it that would be fun. Especially with the weather we've been having these last couple of days. How do we get in contact with all seattle peeps any ideas? Might help me...not him though

[jundp 191]

I also really like the email thing... I always send him one when I get home from work or even a quick note on msn messenger but doesn't get reciprocated...

I noticed you're in Seattle Jundp??

I am in Seattle, is that where you are? I think there are quite a number of us here. We should plan a VJ Meetup at some point.

I hope things go smoother for you both. The first few weeks after a visit are the hardest I think. Then it sort of becomes routine.

Is there??? Let's do it that would be fun. Especially with the weather we've been having these last couple of days. How do we get in contact with all seattle peeps any ideas? Might help me...not him though

Well, we could post something...I think I'll do that :-)

[brnidokiegurl 0]

ck with Maggie i think she is up thta way also

[morocco4ever 63]

Wow you ladies are way nicer than I am!

hahaha I still use the "aww suck it up" on ed ALOT when he whines bout stuff

We missed eachother but there was no point whining to eachother about it, what good does it do? nada so im with you Amber!

I have to admit that if I was reaching out to my husband for a little support and all I got was a "suck it up" I think it would be the last time I asked for anything from him. Kind of like with my ex...which is why he is an ex.

Oh well, to each his own.

To the OP, if there is anyway to take some time for a visit I would highly recommend it. Even if the visit isn't for several months at least it gives you something to look forward too. An added bonus is that the CO's like to see several visits. To them it is a proof that the relationship is valid.

Keep in mind however, 2 months is really nothing. There will be good days and bad days. Both of you need to take some time and do something enjoyable outside of the situation. It really is a stress reliever. And the fact is you will have many more months to go so you would do well to find something to help you deal with the wait.

[nunyab 0]

I also really like the email thing... I always send him one when I get home from work or even a quick note on msn messenger but doesn't get reciprocated...

I noticed you're in Seattle Jundp??

I am in Seattle, is that where you are? I think there are quite a number of us here. We should plan a VJ Meetup at some point.

I hope things go smoother for you both. The first few weeks after a visit are the hardest I think. Then it sort of becomes routine.

Is there??? Let's do it that would be fun. Especially with the weather we've been having these last couple of days. How do we get in contact with all seattle peeps any ideas? Might help me...not him though

Well, we could post something...I think I'll do that :-)

Did you post it ??? and can you give me the link?

"And even though I know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star. And when the night wind starts to sing that lonesome lullaby, it helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky."

I love that song

But on another note, I completely empathise. It feels like John and I are going through the stages of mourning lately. We are now at anger so we have lots of little disagreements. At the core of everything, is that we are apart, missing eachother.

He has had lots of the sad times lately and whilst my attitude is generally half full, after a while it does get you down. So we end up snipping at each other.

My sister got engaged on the weekend and don't get me wrong I am happy for her but at the same time I am incredibly jealous b/c they are from the same country (both Australian's) they can do as they like. They will be married within 6 months I'm sure. And here we all are, waiting.

Awwwww... I am sorry. But you're will be way better

[Marlita 0]

It's hokey, but tell him to go outside and look at the moon, then you go outside and look at the moon (if time zones allow this), and tell him you are both together right now, looking at the same moon, connected in your thoughts and your heart, even though your bodies are apart. As I said, it is hokey but surprisingly, it really does seem to work. Somehow you don't seem so far apart knowing you are both looking at the same object in the sky at the same time. Feeling that link of connection helps make you feel closer. You may not be able to change your circumstances right now, but you can change how you feel about them. Hope this helps. Another thing that helped was just 'thinking forward' to a year from right now and knowing that all of what you are experiencing right now is over and done with and in the past and you have already dealt with it and that you made it:-). (Sometimes the only thing that keeps you from sliding off that rope is the knot tied on the end of it!).

OMG! I do this too! Look at the moon! It really is a cool thing when your time zones alow it. Especially when its a huge full moon.

[*JG* 2]

I used to tell my husband to suck it up. Stop trying to bring me down with you just because you're sad doesn't mean I can't be happy. Then, I'd say not much longer until we're together so stop your whining. He got over it. Eventually the whining stopped.

Good luck!

Ha ha.....and I thought I was the only one to do this.

[Marlita 0]

I used to tell my husband to suck it up. Stop trying to bring me down with you just because you're sad doesn't mean I can't be happy. Then, I'd say not much longer until we're together so stop your whining. He got over it. Eventually the whining stopped.

Good luck!

Ha ha.....and I thought I was the only one to do this.

I thought she was joking! Do you really do this? Man that would break my heart if my husband did this to me. I know we all can't be happy go lucky about this process all the time, so when we're down its good to know the the other person can hlep to ease our anxiety.

[iewi 0]

Things that help being apart from your SO.

I sure people can add to this

1. Send email before you sleep each night so your SO sees it first thing in the morning.

2. Send text message to SO when you know you will not talk or see one another that day. (Getting random text message from my wife always makes my day and her timing is incredible)

3. Web cams are great and even better with Wi- Fi. I have been able to show my wife every room in our house and also my office, work space, car, etc.

4. I work in theatrical production so my wife has been treated to web cam viewings of productions i am working on.

5. We eat meals together on web cam and again because I can bring the camera in the kitchen we chat while I prepare meals. (We also have silly routine about who does the dishes)

6. Introduce your SO to your friends and family using web cam (also great practice for English)

7. Do a fashion show for each other (I leave that to your imagination)

8. Since she is 5 hours ahead of me i get to watch her fall asleep some nights.

9. Plan a date night. (my wife really likes these) we only talk about us (no Paperwork) we have a meal, play games (checkers, etc), i give her short stories i have read so she can practice her english by reading them to me.

10. I'm on the east coast of US and she is in Morocco so I tell her i wave to her when i drive near the ocean.

11. Visit has often as possible. I have countdown clock on computer for my next visit. (48 days). Having a clear day when you will be together give you goal to reach.

12. Send a surprise postcard (even if it take forever to get there), it was in your hand and your SO can hold it too.

13. Just leave your web cams on and go thru your day, my wife is studying for her graduate exams and I like to read or work on project at home. Just leave cam where each can see each other and then you can watch or talk whenever.

14. Make a schedule if possible. My work is flexible for now so I can tell her when I go to work and when I will be home and I do my best to stick to what i told her and if it changes let her know (Same as if she was here with me)

15. Each day is one day closer to being together forever.

Bast to all

Ernie

[palilover 1]

well, tell him you are sad too and just keep saying we're almost there and things like that to keep his spirits up.

And I've been saying this a lot to my husband a lot these past few days because it's only 3 days for me to be with him. But he's a day ahead of me roughly because it's aready tomorrow in Palestine. So what I say is "Look at how lucky you are. you are one day ahead now and you are closer to being done and I'm still a day behind....how lucky you are when it comes to counting down days when we can be together"

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Things that help being apart from your SO.

I sure people can add to this

1. Send email before you sleep each night so your SO sees it first thing in the morning.

2. Send text message to SO when you know you will not talk or see one another that day. (Getting random text message from my wife always makes my day and her timing is incredible)

3. Web cams are great and even better with Wi- Fi. I have been able to show my wife every room in our house and also my office, work space, car, etc.

4. I work in theatrical production so my wife has been treated to web cam viewings of productions i am working on.

5. We eat meals together on web cam and again because I can bring the camera in the kitchen we chat while I prepare meals. (We also have silly routine about who does the dishes)

6. Introduce your SO to your friends and family using web cam (also great practice for English)

7. Do a fashion show for each other (I leave that to your imagination)

8. Since she is 5 hours ahead of me i get to watch her fall asleep some nights.

9. Plan a date night. (my wife really likes these) we only talk about us (no Paperwork) we have a meal, play games (checkers, etc), i give her short stories i have read so she can practice her english by reading them to me.

10. I'm on the east coast of US and she is in Morocco so I tell her i wave to her when i drive near the ocean.

11. Visit has often as possible. I have countdown clock on computer for my next visit. (48 days). Having a clear day when you will be together give you goal to reach.

12. Send a surprise postcard (even if it take forever to get there), it was in your hand and your SO can hold it too.

13. Just leave your web cams on and go thru your day, my wife is studying for her graduate exams and I like to read or work on project at home. Just leave cam where each can see each other and then you can watch or talk whenever.

14. Make a schedule if possible. My work is flexible for now so I can tell her when I go to work and when I will be home and I do my best to stick to what i told her and if it changes let her know (Same as if she was here with me)

15. Each day is one day closer to being together forever.

Bast to all

Ernie

Great suggestions, Ernie,

My husband and I used to do a number of these as well when we were apart and still engaged. One of our favourites was to share Sunday breakast together. It still has special memories:-).

Edited June 30, 2008 by Kathryn41

[Jason&Sarah 0]

Wow! Good to see Sarah and I aren't alone!

I have to tell you, we're in our longest haul right now, and it's extremely difficult. Both of us are frustrated with not being with the other, but we know it's a small drop in the ocean compared to when we're together for the rest of our lives.

We've battled a lot of trials with this as well. She still lives with her parents, so we have to abide by their rules - though her parents are great and make every effort to be supportive! They respect her privacy (most of the time! ) and understand she's 24, not 12. But for a long time she only had the family computer to use, which meant sharing the front room. Recently though she bought a new laptop so that's made it lots better!

Phone calls...I signed up for Vonage here in the states and it's a god send. It has some extra features that have helped out a lot. Also, we text like mad - which can get kind of expensive, but we manage.

One thing that has been vital for us, is we have always set Sundays as "our day", meaning that unless it cannot be avoided, we don't do anything but talk to each other or what not. One thing that came of this that is amazing, and rather sappy is we will watch the same movie together. We'll pick a movie (sometimes two) and if one of us doesn't have it we'll either buy it or rent it, and just sit on the phone and watch it together. This past Sunday it was Bridget Jones's Diary The weekend before was Sunshine (Sci-fi flick) so it's like being together....

Web cams are a god send. It's bitter sweet though...it is wonderful to see the person while you're talking, but sometimes it makes saying good night that much more difficult.

We email back and forth a lot, use Windows Live Messenger a lot...

We get to see each other in September for a month, and then at Christmas and hopefully after Christmas she'll be moving here, but we have a countdown started per when she'll be here in september...it's nice to look at how the time is counting down every day...

Some days are unbearable, others are tolerable at best. We just sort of muddle through it, and on the days when both of us are feeling it awful, we just reinforce the positives...we focus on the the memories we've had together, and talk about our future...and for times when nothing seems to help we just cry with each other.

I sometimes feel like I have it worse that Sarah, not to take away from her struggle at all, but she has her friends and family right there, and what not...I don't have any here locally. My best friend lives 12 hours away, and no family to speak of. So it's really hard at times for me....but I hold out on the fact that we'll be together in a little while longer.

[nunyab 0]

wow you guys ernie and everyone great ideas.. I am thinking of copying the link and sending it to my hubby???