Disheartened

[IrieCat 2]

I am amused most times by the looks we get from others. When I was living in St Lucia I was "the WHite girl" and Louis got such $hit for being the Rasta with the white girl. I would say 99% of the time we would laugh it off.

Now that he is here we are getting different kinds of looks. We live in a 99.99% white community. My light brown daughter is the minority! LOL

But Louis got here right before she finished school and of course she wanted us to pick her up so all her friends could see him. So this one lady and her son (about 11 I would say) were walking in as we were coming out and she says OUT LOUD and so happily... "Oh Look, a REAL Rastaman"... she was so happy! So the looks Louis and I get here dont seem to be hateful... more like and exotic anomoly that no one has seen before.

I think Louis may feel a bit awkward sometimes but he thinks its kinda funny too.

Hateful people are just so miserable with their own lives that they want everyone else to feel the same way. I always say, we are all pink on the inside! LOL

[Kanyiri 0]

I know I've talked about this before, but we've definitely had our share of racism pointed in our general direction. I never knew it was still alive until I married my husband. I will say though that it has died down almost comletely since we had our son. I don't know why but when we are there with DS people seem to just smile at all of us, but when it is just DH and I people give us odd looks. We've only had a few nasty comments made and it definitely made me mad for a while, but they are few and far between. I think it does have a lot to do with where you live. We live near DC now where there are tons of interracial couples. We're considering moving back to Texas where I'm sure there will be a lot more to deal with.

[ara 0]

How many black Americans are willing to go to an African country and marry an African man? Yes there are some but not many at all.

There is still a stigma in the US about Africans and Africa in general from a good majority of the black community. Most black Americans won't even acknowledge that their roots are in Africa, but now when they see you with your husband, they want to hate. I remember so many ignorant statements made by black Americans about foreign black men.

This situation is deeper than you know and it is a sticky subject.

Let the haters hate and if they have a problem with you and your husband, tell them to visit the lands from which thier ancestors sprung and they too can find plenty of good black men. You have not taken the last good black man in the world. Don't let anyone steel your joy. How may of those haters would have gone through the process you have and deal with the cultural differences and financial strain???

Yes, I am slightly pissed by their ignorance. You went through a lot in your life and you should be happy. When they give you dirty looks, you give them the sweetest smile because they don't know what you know!

P.S. My statement comes from personal experiences and not made to offend anyone. God knows its the truth.

Well said, a lot of people won't go through this visa journey to be with the one they love black or white.

It's a hard a tedious process. I love your comments Asante!!!!

[Asante Maroon 0]

It's a hard a tedious process. I love your comments Asante!!!!

Thanks, Aras. It's a tough subject to discuss. People are ignorant and we can not change that. We just got to continue living our life for ourselves and try to ignore the negativity. Times are changing and with that, so does attitudes and levels of tolerance. Lets just hope the change is for the good.

Don't let anyone steal your joy, people!!!

[Niel&Femi 0]

Well i feel what you are feeling, but i want to let you know that you should not be border by anybodies look, this is your life, this is your marriage, because you remember what the pastor says "what God has joined together, let no man (even looks)should not seperate" this is my thoughts to you to conquered there mind.

good luck

[*JG* 2]

How many black Americans are willing to go to an African country and marry an African man? Yes there are some but not many at all.

There is still a stigma in the US about Africans and Africa in general from a good majority of the black community. Most black Americans won't even acknowledge that their roots are in Africa, but now when they see you with your husband, they want to hate. I remember so many ignorant statements made by black Americans about foreign black men.

This situation is deeper than you know and it is a sticky subject.

Let the haters hate and if they have a problem with you and your husband, tell them to visit the lands from which thier ancestors sprung and they too can find plenty of good black men. You have not taken the last good black man in the world. Don't let anyone steel your joy. How may of those haters would have gone through the process you have and deal with the cultural differences and financial strain???

Yes, I am slightly pissed by their ignorance. You went through a lot in your life and you should be happy. When they give you dirty looks, you give them the sweetest smile because they don't know what you know!

P.S. My statement comes from personal experiences and not made to offend anyone. God knows its the truth.

I just read this and said "wow". Thank you for this very well said reply.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I've always gotten looks and eventually learned to let it go. I think the best revenge is to live fully and happily. They can't steal that from you, you have to give it to them. My ex husband is chinese. Not chinese-american. Chinese, born and raised on mainland china. We got looks like you wouldn't believe. Black men and asian women are cool, but a black woman and an asian man. People just couldn't process it. We lived in NYC. So I couldn't imagine living in some small town where the people's eyes are even more closed to change. My daughter is biracial and fortunately, where we live now, is the majority. I always joke that I live in the biracial capital of the world. She's still had to say to people, my mom is brown, so what? But she's in a place where she is growing proud. As adults, we have to tap our inner strength because we are in fact rebuilding reality. We are reshaping what is "normal" in people's minds. Don't hide, don't be ashamed, be proud. Not many people can be change agents. Because to be one takes phenomenol strength. I've been one for almost my whole life. And I embrace it. It's a gift from God to force people to see things differently. Now, they see me with Bassi and I smile brightly and they can't help but smile too. They want to be miserable, but my joy is contagious.

[Asante Maroon 0]

I've always gotten looks and eventually learned to let it go. I think the best revenge is to live fully and happily. They can't steal that from you, you have to give it to them. My ex husband is chinese. Not chinese-american. Chinese, born and raised on mainland china. We got looks like you wouldn't believe. Black men and asian women are cool, but a black woman and an asian man. People just couldn't process it. We lived in NYC. So I couldn't imagine living in some small town where the people's eyes are even more closed to change. My daughter is biracial and fortunately, where we live now, is the majority. I always joke that I live in the biracial capital of the world. She's still had to say to people, my mom is brown, so what? But she's in a place where she is growing proud. As adults, we have to tap our inner strength because we are in fact rebuilding reality. We are reshaping what is "normal" in people's minds. Don't hide, don't be ashamed, be proud. Not many people can be change agents. Because to be one takes phenomenol strength. I've been one for almost my whole life. And I embrace it. It's a gift from God to force people to see things differently. Now, they see me with Bassi and I smile brightly and they can't help but smile too. They want to be miserable, but my joy is contagious.

Well said, mama!

[joej 0]

Sorry to hear of your experience.

I dont post too often anymore, but do read the posts every once in a while. I used to notice the looks too, mostly from white people though. However, as time has gone on, I really haven't noticed it too much these days, and it doesn't seem to be a problem for us. I did notice though, that the looks are somehow different when we have our son with us. Almost like, "oh ok, they are a family". It is annoying, but my husband and I are just doing our best to be productive, and forget about everyone else.

Best Wishes

Jodi

[Asante Maroon 0]

Sorry to hear of your experience.

I dont post too often anymore, but do read the posts every once in a while. I used to notice the looks too, mostly from white people though. However, as time has gone on, I really haven't noticed it too much these days, and it doesn't seem to be a problem for us. I did notice though, that the looks are somehow different when we have our son with us. Almost like, "oh ok, they are a family". It is annoying, but my husband and I are just doing our best to be productive, and forget about everyone else.

Best Wishes

Jodi

You are the second person who said that they get different looks when you are with your children. That is so strange. It's not okay for you to date, but since your married...what the heck!

I wonder what the difference is in the eyes of the onlookers...

[stevi1123 0]

I've always gotten looks and eventually learned to let it go. I think the best revenge is to live fully and happily. They can't steal that from you, you have to give it to them. My ex husband is chinese. Not chinese-american. Chinese, born and raised on mainland china. We got looks like you wouldn't believe. Black men and asian women are cool, but a black woman and an asian man. People just couldn't process it. We lived in NYC. So I couldn't imagine living in some small town where the people's eyes are even more closed to change. My daughter is biracial and fortunately, where we live now, is the majority. I always joke that I live in the biracial capital of the world. She's still had to say to people, my mom is brown, so what? But she's in a place where she is growing proud. As adults, we have to tap our inner strength because we are in fact rebuilding reality. We are reshaping what is "normal" in people's minds. Don't hide, don't be ashamed, be proud. Not many people can be change agents. Because to be one takes phenomenol strength. I've been one for almost my whole life. And I embrace it. It's a gift from God to force people to see things differently. Now, they see me with Bassi and I smile brightly and they can't help but smile too. They want to be miserable, but my joy is contagious.

That was PROFOUND!

Wow!

Goosebumps yet again.....

[His Glory 25]

im never ashamed of us but it would be nice to just be able to go shopping and be considered normal. i do appreciate that we are changing what is normal for those close minded people and the more we are seen the better, but something I just feel like being ourselves and not up to reshaping the world But definately not hiding

[Asante Maroon 0]

im never ashamed of us but it would be nice to just be able to go shopping and be considered normal. i do appreciate that we are changing what is normal for those close minded people and the more we are seen the better, but something I just feel like being ourselves and not up to reshaping the world But definately not hiding

This too shall pass, mama!

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

im never ashamed of us but it would be nice to just be able to go shopping and be considered normal. i do appreciate that we are changing what is normal for those close minded people and the more we are seen the better, but something I just feel like being ourselves and not up to reshaping the world But definately not hiding

It may not happen for you sweetie. But because of you, it can happen for your children.

And when you're having a bad day, stick your tongue out at them. It's so ridiculous it always makes me laugh. Childish behavior begets childish behavior.

Edited July 8, 2008 by Bassi and Zainab

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

I've always gotten looks and eventually learned to let it go. I think the best revenge is to live fully and happily. They can't steal that from you, you have to give it to them. My ex husband is chinese. Not chinese-american. Chinese, born and raised on mainland china. We got looks like you wouldn't believe. Black men and asian women are cool, but a black woman and an asian man. People just couldn't process it. We lived in NYC. So I couldn't imagine living in some small town where the people's eyes are even more closed to change. My daughter is biracial and fortunately, where we live now, is the majority. I always joke that I live in the biracial capital of the world. She's still had to say to people, my mom is brown, so what? But she's in a place where she is growing proud. As adults, we have to tap our inner strength because we are in fact rebuilding reality. We are reshaping what is "normal" in people's minds. Don't hide, don't be ashamed, be proud. Not many people can be change agents. Because to be one takes phenomenol strength. I've been one for almost my whole life. And I embrace it. It's a gift from God to force people to see things differently. Now, they see me with Bassi and I smile brightly and they can't help but smile too. They want to be miserable, but my joy is contagious.

That was PROFOUND!

Wow!

Goosebumps yet again.....

It must be because my man is home!