Need some advice on moving back to canada

[Reba 2]

faylen, wait until your citizenship is completed, then send in the stuff for CIC. Most CIC applications for spouses are completed within 3 to 6 months anyhow, so if your US citizenship is moving right along, you'll be in Canada by this time next year anyhow

James and I are starting the paperwork again to move to Canada. I honestly don't like it here much at all, its becoming familiar of course after nearly 4 years, but its not home.

I have an Aunt who lived in the US for 45 years and she never felt at home either. I don't think I'll torture myself quite that long

Itll take us a while to complete James' paperwork becuase he's got a criminal (juvenile) record to contend with that'll take us a few extra months to process. So in the meantime, we're looking to move to central New York state, closer to my family so I can just drive up for day trips whenever I want, and they can come down to see James and the dogs.

Hopefully the paperork won't take us much more than a year. Fingers crossed.

**edit to add** and check out http://roadtocanada.com/ for info on immigrating to Canada. There's a US2Canada section.

Edited June 25, 2008 by Reba

[Krikit 1,164]

Wow, Treble. Just...... wow. (re your driving anecdotes)

Raymaga.... have you had to take the citizenship test already, or does that happen at your interview?

[thetreble 19]

It is good to know that a bunch of people are feeling this way. It's a big thing in the span of someone's life to move to another country, even if it's not that far away. We all get through it somehow but I think there are times we realize in reality we aren't pushing through it. Some things are just too hard to push through or not right you know?

any way, I was thinking of a place I'd want to live at least until I get my citizenship. I decided I'd like to move to Lancaster, PA. I don't know if any of you have been there for a visit but it's gorgeous. It's a cute little city that is surrounded by Amish country. I think I would definetely be more happy there, and so would our bank accounts.

Have any of you ever bought a house somewhere without having a job first? haha Inquiring minds want to know.

[J&K 0]

any way, I was thinking of a place I'd want to live at least until I get my citizenship. I decided I'd like to move to Lancaster, PA. I don't know if any of you have been there for a visit but it's gorgeous. It's a cute little city that is surrounded by Amish country. I think I would definetely be more happy there, and so would our bank accounts.

Lancaster is absolutely gorgeous. Hubby and I met near there in Reading, PA at the WWII airshow they hold every year. Plus Jon and Kate live there! (I love that show! heehee)

It and the area around Gettysburg are probably the only two places that I feel 'normal' when up across the M-D line.

Oh and Emancipation...I have no idea what you mean

[SpiritAlight 1]

Dear Thetreble,

Please do not take this as a lecture, I am merely going to point out some stuff...because I care (and because I go through lots of shtuff).

Wherever you go there you are.

Everyone knows this expression.

And few get it in a deep sense.

In other words, you do not feel comfortable where you are (and in your own skin - do you know this expression?)

and so everything in the universe is proving you right about how yucky the place is.

This can happen anywhere or about anyone.

Hey, I'm not saying that Jersey is paradise; I have never been.

Could see a section of it from Manhattan when I have visited there.

What I am saying is this:

Whatever we say about a place or about another person is simply a reflection of us.

I am learning this lesson in a huge way.

This does not make me better or smarter or anything...my human moments just about kill me.

There's that ego, running amok and I cannot stop it sometimes.

I want to be right!

And so...what is truly important: love...compassion...understanding...peace.

When I respond from my feelings (my heart) I live in possibility and I create the world I want to live in (the near one anyways)

and when I respond from my head (which is fear-based), well, nothing is good and nothing is right and I am not safe.

I was so in love - love love love - that everything in the world shone.

And nothing could be wrong.

And then I came to Chicago at the beginning of January and I could not take the house, the dog, the burbs, the cold.

Misery set in, big!

Choices.

Stay or go.

Wrong partner?

Hmmmm...

Well, I got that something had compelled us together and me here to this place and so I did not run off.

Dive back into the heart and see what is, and how could we work it work it work it and make it good.

Life is too short for misery!!

I am not sure I expressed myself well, and so will reread this in a while and see if I would like to add or change anything.

Please do tell me how you feel about all this.

I threw in a whack of emoticons for emphasis.

In a nutshell:

Whenever i have loved and whenever I have hated...well, it is all about me and how I am feeling inside.

Edited June 25, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Dear Thetreble,

Please do not take this as a lecture, I am merely going to point out some stuff...because I care (and because I go through lots of shtuff).

Wherever you go there you are.

Everyone knows this expression.

And few get it in a deep sense.

In other words, you do not feel comfortable where you are (and in your own skin - do you know this expression?)

and so everything in the universe is proving you right about how yucky the place is.

This can happen anywhere or about anyone.

Hey, I'm not saying that Jersey is paradise; I have never been.

Could see a section of it from Manhattan when I have visited there.

What I am saying is this:

Whatever we say about a place or about another person is simply a reflection of us.

I am learning this lesson in a huge way.

This does not make me better or smarter or anything...my human moments just about kill me.

There's that ego, running amok and I cannot stop it sometimes.

I want to be right!

And so...what is truly important: love...compassion...understanding...peace.

When I respond from my feelings (my heart) I live in possibility and I create the world I want to live in (the near one anyways)

and when I respond from my head (which is fear-based), well, nothing is good and nothing is right and I am not safe.

I was so in love - love love love - that everything in the world shone.

And nothing could be wrong.

And then I came to Chicago at the beginning of January and I could not take the house, the dog, the burbs, the cold.

Misery set in, big!

Choices.

Stay or go.

Wrong partner?

Hmmmm...

Well, I got that something had compelled us together and me here to this place and so I did not run off.

Dive back into the heart and see what is, and how could we work it work it work it and make it good.

Life is too short for misery!!

I am not sure I expressed myself well, and so will reread this in a while and see if I would like to add or change anything.

Please do tell me how you feel about all this.

I threw in a whack of emoticons for emphasis.

In a nutshell:

Whenever i have loved and whenever I have hated...well, it is all about me and how I am feeling inside.

You are dead on as usual hon.

Your post paid me cry...

Life is what you make it and I know all too well that when you are not happy about yourself, everything around you is horrible.

Thank you for posting Spirit...you are awesome!!!

[SpiritAlight 1]

Dear Thetreble,

Please do not take this as a lecture, I am merely going to point out some stuff...because I care (and because I go through lots of shtuff).

Wherever you go there you are.

Everyone knows this expression.

And few get it in a deep sense.

In other words, you do not feel comfortable where you are (and in your own skin - do you know this expression?)

and so everything in the universe is proving you right about how yucky the place is.

This can happen anywhere or about anyone.

Hey, I'm not saying that Jersey is paradise; I have never been.

Could see a section of it from Manhattan when I have visited there.

What I am saying is this:

Whatever we say about a place or about another person is simply a reflection of us.

I am learning this lesson in a huge way.

This does not make me better or smarter or anything...my human moments just about kill me.

There's that ego, running amok and I cannot stop it sometimes.

I want to be right!

And so...what is truly important: love...compassion...understanding...peace.

When I respond from my feelings (my heart) I live in possibility and I create the world I want to live in (the near one anyways)

and when I respond from my head (which is fear-based), well, nothing is good and nothing is right and I am not safe.

I was so in love - love love love - that everything in the world shone.

And nothing could be wrong.

And then I came to Chicago at the beginning of January and I could not take the house, the dog, the burbs, the cold.

Misery set in, big!

Choices.

Stay or go.

Wrong partner?

Hmmmm...

Well, I got that something had compelled us together and me here to this place and so I did not run off.

Dive back into the heart and see what is, and how could we work it work it work it and make it good.

Life is too short for misery!!

I am not sure I expressed myself well, and so will reread this in a while and see if I would like to add or change anything.

Please do tell me how you feel about all this.

I threw in a whack of emoticons for emphasis.

In a nutshell:

Whenever i have loved and whenever I have hated...well, it is all about me and how I am feeling inside.

You are dead on as usual hon.

Your post paid me cry...

Life is what you make it and I know all too well that when you are not happy about yourself, everything around you is horrible.

Thank you for posting Spirit...you are awesome!!!

Oh shizen!

Now you made me cry...snif snif.

[thetreble 19]

Spiritalight, I know you were just trying to help in saying that and I value your opinion, but I really don't agree. I'm slightly offended because I feel like you are implying I'm not okay with myself when actually, I'm very happy and satsified with who I am as a person.

I think it is idealistic to say that you control every factor around you and that you can totally create your own world and happiness. In some cases, that is just not the case. I cannot change people around me or society for that matter. I have love and compassion, but what I don't have is peace. If people were getting mugged on your street and held up at gun point, could you truly sit there and say you could find peace in that place and location? I realize I'm young, but that sounds a little naive to me. I'd like peace and common curteousy, and sometimes your geographical location plays a hand in whether you get to have it or not. It is like saying to someone in the Sudan that they should make the best of their surroundings and they will find happiness, and if they don't, it's a reflection of who they are.

I understand what you are saying, I really do. However, in this particular case I don't think me not being happy with where I live is a reflection of myself. I have always been nice to others, but I do not get it back in return where I live. And since there seems to be other people that feel the same way as I do, you may be saying that we are all reflecting ourselves and our own unhappiness onto the situation at hand.

Don't you think it is possible to dislike something because it really actually sucks? I just don't agree with what you are saying. It's way to idealistic and irrational for me.

Thinking from your head is logical. Thinking from your heart is rational. Life, the way I see it, has to have a balance of both but your head ALWAYS has to be in every decision you make. For example. my heart wants me to go back to Canada, however, my logical brain is telling me that I have to compromise and that to move back and lose status would be irrational.

[thetreble 19]

btw, i meant thinking from your heart is IRRATIONAL. haha got that bit wrong.

I hope you dont take offense to what I said. I just hope we can agree to disagree.

[Krikit 1,164]

btw, i meant thinking from your heart is IRRATIONAL. haha got that bit wrong.

Okay. That makes more sense now.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Spiritalight, I know you were just trying to help in saying that and I value your opinion, but I really don't agree. I'm slightly offended because I feel like you are implying I'm not okay with myself when actually, I'm very happy and satsified with who I am as a person.

I think it is idealistic to say that you control every factor around you and that you can totally create your own world and happiness. In some cases, that is just not the case. I cannot change people around me or society for that matter. I have love and compassion, but what I don't have is peace. If people were getting mugged on your street and held up at gun point, could you truly sit there and say you could find peace in that place and location? I realize I'm young, but that sounds a little naive to me. I'd like peace and common curteousy, and sometimes your geographical location plays a hand in whether you get to have it or not. It is like saying to someone in the Sudan that they should make the best of their surroundings and they will find happiness, and if they don't, it's a reflection of who they are.

I understand what you are saying, I really do. However, in this particular case I don't think me not being happy with where I live is a reflection of myself. I have always been nice to others, but I do not get it back in return where I live. And since there seems to be other people that feel the same way as I do, you may be saying that we are all reflecting ourselves and our own unhappiness onto the situation at hand.

Don't you think it is possible to dislike something because it really actually sucks? I just don't agree with what you are saying. It's way to idealistic and irrational for me.

Thinking from your head is logical. Thinking from your heart is rational. Life, the way I see it, has to have a balance of both but your head ALWAYS has to be in every decision you make. For example. my heart wants me to go back to Canada, however, my logical brain is telling me that I have to compromise and that to move back and lose status would be irrational.

I hear you Thetreble.

And please never feel bad to disagree with me.

I enjoy a good conversation and/or debate.

So now I am going to do some homework* and get back to you with something.

I will not rush an answer as it will not serve you nor others.

I am happy to read that you feel good about yourself and did not mean to imply that you do like yourself.

And yes there are definitely places on our planet that are high crime areas.

I lived in one of them in Vancouver for a few months...although that may not compare to violence in the U.S.

It was in the notorious Downtown Eastside.

Home of the most crackheads, AIDS, meth addicts, deaths per capita in Canada, maybe even in the Western Hemisphere....I am not sure.

Although I meandered around these people, I stayed out of harms way; even when needing to open the manual garage door in the worst of the alleys in the neighbourhood to park my scootie at the time. Yes, I was frightened at first; and then got used to the way the groove of these people. The things I witnessed out of my 2nd story window from this old warehouse loft place...boy oh boy. Not for public consumption.

Why did I feel safe when many friends of mine would not visit me here ever?

Perhaps my bubble of safety I place on myself (with the help of???).

Perhaps because I feel each of us has chosen our path for the lessons to learn.

Perhaps because when approached by someone with their head whacked out on chemicals I can handle myself quite nicely.

Perhaps the locals thought I was a narc! (What would a nice girl be doing in these parts?)

And perhaps because I am lucky....not my time to be attacked nor killed.

Who knows.

I have felt safe where others cannot.

Hey, I even put myself out there for Mother Nature's wrath and whatever Aeolus' best on sailboats, and before that to fight/spar full-on with people in karate matches....and so much else.

Not a normal person's activities. Ha!

*contemplation...play, walk, read, sing, sit-still... whatever it takes to figure out how to respond.

If I had my group (circle of spiritual friends) here with me from my other home in Vancouver, I could respond quickly.

I now need to figure most things out without my bounce boards.

Not easy.

Perhaps a phone call or two and I will be back with something to add.

Ill be back.

btw, i meant thinking from your heart is IRRATIONAL. haha got that bit wrong.

Okay. That makes more sense now.

Oh no, she was right the first time.

[thetreble 19]

Okay well you get back to me on that one. I understand what you are saying of your experience in Vancouver. But let me ask you this..could you have raised children there or did you raise children there? To me I have a choice to put myself in an unsafe position. But if a child is involved, thats another story. I don't want my children to grow up in an area where no one treats them with respect, so they in turn don't learn it. Only so much can be done by the parents. I don't want my child to fear the streets or be bullied. Look up newark, nj or irvington, nj online. Those are the places that my town borders. Maybe that will give you a better taste of where I am coming from.

Edited June 25, 2008 by thetreble

[emt103c 10]

The way you feel about a place is not related to how you feel about yourself in the way described. . .Frankly, in my many road trips to visit my DH in Canada, I had to just cross through NJ and the place just made me unhappy. (The no U-Turns thing you mentioned was one freakish thing, and the hardly ANY left turns and having to go miles out of your way to get turned around another.) Any state that has to make it illegal to pump your own gas because of drive-aways (or security??) just doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Where you live is a very personal thing, as I am sure that many people LOVE NJ. Don't judge all of the U.S. on your experience there. I love my home in Virginia (a place where each city/town is COMPLETELY DIFFERENT) so you can imagine the differences from state to state. I wouldn't want to live anywhere else, INCLUDING my hometown.

If you are only happy in your home town then it is important that you are there, or somewhere else that makes you happy. Environment heavily affects mood! One example. . .hubby is living in Montreal. . . .millions of people LOVE Montreal, but there is NO WAY I could live here!

[Sprailenes 47]

I have heard North Jersey is worse than South Jersey and people from places like Garfield tell me I am lucky to live down here. I think its all the same ####### though. The entire state is over populated, and I have run into SO many ignorant people! I grew up and lived most of my life in the city of Toronto and had never encountered such rude people there. My life has never been threatened for accidentally cutting someone off until I came to dirty jersey.

I have friends in PA who even agree with me, this isn't a great state. I sure didn't move here for the lovely scenery that's for sure.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Much food for thought here.

I'm still thinking....