U - turn

[Ta Ta 1]

Is sub-saharan going through a piss and posturing contest ?

I believe how much someone spends on what should not even be an issue.

We don't have to defend who spends how much on what on their SO to strangers on the internet. It depends on the individual couple and the circumstances.

It has been established to be careful sending money over, we are all very aware of that here.

But how much and for what is a deeply personal choice and everyone has their own opinions about it.

It is not a measuring stick to ' win one up ' as if to say my man is not a scammer because he never asked for money ........ or your man must be a scammer or a wussy because he accepts money. It seems this springs from a " I have a real relationship and you don't " motivation or justification.

Nobody can define anyone else's relationship.

Send money or don't send money, it really is no one's business to question that.

I know one thing, if married couples can't share their money as the need arises, then maybe they need to rethink their

trust issues or stop looking for foreign men.

Africa is not just Africa. One can not compare the poorest of all African nations with the more developed ones.

The economy in S/L for instance is so broken and the infrastructure so weak after the brutal decade long war

that I just smile when I read posts about ' everyone can find work doing something'. Tell that to the thousands of youth that are begging for jobs, tell it to thousand of amputees, tell it to the ones who had great paying jobs for years working for the UN and now are jobless because the region has stabilized and the UN has moved out.

Those that are blessed to find a job make a few dollars......at that rate the SO's would never get here if they would have to pay it all themselves by selling fufu on the road.

If your SO can do that, consider yourself blessed. Consider the country more developed than others.

Heaven forbid an SO really gets sick and dies because the USC cops an attitude and goes to get a pedicure before believing

he is in genuine need to pay the doctor. People do get sick and die everyday.

They face yellow fever, typhoid, malaria, dysentary, cholera and chest infections all the time.

The life expectancy in my SO's country is 39. He has surpassed it by several years.

The hospitals are shacks and the mortuary looks like an outhouse in S/L.

By all means check the hospital stories out in the beginning to verify threy are really sick, send your networking friends you hopefully have made and the pastor by.......do what you have to do but let us not be so rigid and cold to not help where help is truly needed or judge someone who has done so.

One would hope that the working SO's never lose their jobs or geez, some just may have to end their relationships because they

now would think they get scammed. This whole scamming talk has taken on an undertone of " mine is bigger than yours." " I am smarter than you ".

I am not singling anyone out , I have nothing personal against anyone here. I am discussing my viewpoints like everyone else and they are not directed at anyone in particular. I wanted to get this of my chest for days now.

I hope we can make a U - turn and bounce back to a more positive forum.

[4theloveofhenry 8]

I needed this... thank you. I really in my heart feel my words have been really misconstrued and taken for somthing that GOD knows I did not mean for them to be taken as. JUst tonight I posted somthing and tried to make myself clear and it obviously was not clear. I totally lost my temper and was so angry I wanted to say things I try to avoid saying. I lost myself and my values tonight and when I finished typing and read this it calmed me and brought things back to perspective. I know I truly care about people and really hate it when someone thinks I am being cruel becuase I can swear on my life that I never mean something bad. This forum has left me feeling really bad these last couple of days. I hope and pray to God we can turn it around becuase this place used to be so valuable and now it seems to only be about misunderstanding, contention, and pain. Please to anyone that thinks I meant anything I said in a bad way, PLEASE trust me when I say I mean no harm to anyone here. PLease take that and let us follow Omoba and make a u-turn. After reading this I will say I am on board this ride.

[nopalavar 0]

Very well said.

[Ta Ta 1]

I believe you didn't mean anything by it. I also misunderstood you the other day and we had words but I do believe

you are a genuine person and am totally cool with you now.

We all lose it now and then, it happens. We are human. God knows I have lost it many times before. Sometimes we just have to get used to the way others express themselves in typed communication.

[4theloveofhenry 8]

Thank you so much for that. I was sitting here so upset and you really helped me to feel better now. I prayed that God would help me to not take it so personally and to help me to be understood and then I came back and read this. Thank you Jehovah and really with all sincerity, thank you Omoba.

[Ta Ta 1]

that's ok, just promise me that the next time I go off you will tell me a good joke to make me laugh and remind me not to take myself so serious on here.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Thank you so much for that. I was sitting here so upset and you really helped me to feel better now. I prayed that God would help me to not take it so personally and to help me to be understood and then I came back and read this. Thank you Jehovah and really with all sincerity, thank you Omoba.

Helloooo, derre,

girl, don't let these misunderstandings get to you. I have been there and done that, but then again;

I also have the motto of "UNO, don't give ah phuq!! "

anyone that has taken the time to "get" to know me, knows, I speak the truth according to my reality and I keep it centered in conventional wisdom along with tempered prayer. (did I lose you , he, he).

there is still one person on here that does not speak/respond to me on forums and you know what (see motto).

and she was clearly in the wrong when she attacked/misinterpreted/misconstrued my own african american knowledge, thoughts, heart and history. but, those are not my concerns or issues, to each his/her own.

the only thing I can encourage you to do, is to try the spirit by the spirit.

(that may be a bit hard to do via the internet, but the more you communicate with people, our personalities and hearts shines through face to face or not).

so again, don't worry about the disagreements or misunderstandings, we come from different backgrounds and experiences so there is bound to be some strife; but the respect and acceptance of each others differences is what makes the experience unique and beautiful.

oh, something else, its also kinda hard to convey what you mean, absent close personal contact, just as well as it is trying to actually understand another persons written thoughts. this can only be accomplished with familiarity, and that takes time.

my grannie always told me "baybee, teef and tongue argue, what more of 2 people".

take care of yourself and garner wisdom from others as well as do not be selfish with the wisdom you have

[Ta Ta 1]

oh my gosh Uno, my fiance says the same thing about the teeth and tongue......

[Simply_Uno 1]

oh my gosh Uno, my fiance says the same thing about the teeth and tongue......

does he say "teeth" or "teef" :unsure:

there in lies the question

[Ta Ta 1]

...ehem....I think toof

[Simply_Uno 1]

...ehem....I think toof

if he says "toof" then he says it right :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[4theloveofhenry 8]

Thank you both ladies for the kind words and advice. Points well taken and very appreciated!

I

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

Is sub-saharan going through a piss and posturing contest ?

wow the visual for that was entertaining.

[Ta Ta 1]

a la vogue style and down the cat walk

[LovinLiberia 0]

Is sub-saharan going through a piss and posturing contest ?

wow the visual for that was entertaining.

She definately has a way with words.

Edited June 24, 2008 by LovinLiberia