My son was diagnosed today with aspergers syndrome

[Pinocchio Liberal 268]

Tara, what a beautiful son you got there. He will more than likely amaze you when he's older. Children are AWSOME teachers!

[Blues Fairy 0]

Oh my, I'm so sorry.

I know that horseback riding therapy works GREAT for kids with Aspergers, helping them to strengthen nonverbal communication and empathy skills. You can find out if there are any programs for kids in your area and what ages they accept.

Best of luck to you and your lovely boy.

[Simply_Uno 1]

Salutations Synergy

Aubrey, Aymerlu and Bgreed(sp)

To you 3, I give big kuddos for your information concerning aspergers.

" Children with Aspergers syndrome tend to be much higher functioning as they grow older and often have average to high iQs. Their lack of social functioning and often poor ability to write can lead to serious frustration, but I've also seen those same kids score brilliantly with little effort. Children with Aspergers syndrome tend to be much higher functioning as they grow older and often have average to high iQs. Their lack of social functioning and often poor ability to write can lead to serious frustration, but I've also seen those same kids score brilliantly with little effort."

That particular quote (^^^^^) is so on the head of things (IMO).

My son also has the diagnosis (unofficially). I refused to allow them to "formally" put it in his chart. My reasons being, he's an african american male and already has enough to contend with in society.

But that aside, I noticed something was "different" about "josh" when he was an infant, the doctors then stated that he's too young to be accurately diagnosed; however, they did follow up and do a thorough exam (physical, psychological, chemical) you name it, it was done.

During his toddler years, things became more "pronounced" and he even got kicked out of daycare when he was 2 because they were not "equipped" to provide for his needs.

Ex: too many kids and it was like mental/sensory overload, transitioning from one activity to another and he could not cope, any change in "routine" and he could not function, (that even includes having a substitute teacher), and abrupt changes just stressed him completely out. He grinds his teeth so hard, it can be heard clear down the hall in another room. That was a strong indicator to his preschool teacher that something was wrong with him or his environment. She taught him to massage his jaws or open and close his mouth when he was old enough to be aware of his reactions to stress. (That worked some of the time, not all.)

My son is now 9 years old, his handwriting is deplorable, but he is artistic, has a great mind for numbers (dates, time, sequences, etc), and he can listen to music one time and mimic the beats in the background (the stuff you or I would not notice ). He also has a great sense of direction and recognition of landmarks. Oh, and before I forget, he is very affectionate, which has to do with his lack of social cues.

I'm saying all of that to say this. It is not the end of the world, its just the begining of a whole new world. Yes it is stressful, but don't give up on him and don't give in to ALL of the hype. Some folks mentioned nutrition and medications. As for me, I did not go that route (not an advocate for a prozac nation). I can only advise you to get to "know" your son and his behaviours. Be his biggest advocates for resources in the school district. Don't push him to do anything to "fit" in, but do introduce him to activities and allow him to choose. And by all means, do not "baby" him (baby talk or shelter him). That will only encourage him becoming dependent as opposed to independent. Josh has the highest vocabulary of all of the 3 graders in his class, but his comprehension is average. To his credit, he does "fast map" very well though.

So trust me, if I can do it, being a single mother of 3 boys, my oldest has ADHD and a senior in h.s. with a post college I.Q., my second son, (thank God for him) he balances out my household madness; he is 15 with a post high school I.Q. and then there is Josh. Mind you, I have absolutely no support system in this world (Aside from God), but I get the job done and you can too.

I wish you well, and keep your chin up.

p.s. if you ever want to trade ideas, contact me at your convenience.

UNO

[Aubrey 10]

During his toddler years, things became more "pronounced" and he even got kicked out of daycare when he was 2 because they were not "equipped" to provide for his needs. Ex: too many kids and it was like mental/sensory overload, transitioning from one activity to another and he could not cope, any change in "routine" and he could not function, (that even includes having a substitute teacher), and abrupt changes just stressed him completely out. He grinds his teeth so hard, it can be heard clear down the hall in another room. That was a strong indicator to his preschool teacher that something was wrong with him or his environment. She taught him to massage his jaws or open and close his mouth when he was old enough to be aware of his reactions to stress. (That worked some of the time, not all.)

That was often the case with many of my autistic students. They specifically placed one of them with me a 2nd year when I changed subjects so that he'd have someone familiar. Days the schedule changed were generally not so productive.

I don't know what did it, but your post also reminded me of another common thing among my autistic students, including the 2 with aspergers -- sensitivity to light, especially fluorescents or blinking. I always draped tissue paper over my classroom fluorescents and it seemed to do the trick (besides, the damn lights give me migraines anyway). You might see if you notice this he seems more upset in large stores with that sort of lighting and adjust accordingly.

It will all be okay with strong involved parenting. Early intervention and whatever therapies you find help calm your child will do wonders.

[Donna A 4]

theres a girl with that on this seasons americas next top model. they talk about it every week. she is kinda awkward and has problems socializing and eye contact but other then that she seams great. it seams really mild and she is fully functionable so this is a good thing.

[Simply_Uno 1]

During his toddler years, things became more "pronounced" and he even got kicked out of daycare when he was 2 because they were not "equipped" to provide for his needs. Ex: too many kids and it was like mental/sensory overload, transitioning from one activity to another and he could not cope, any change in "routine" and he could not function, (that even includes having a substitute teacher), and abrupt changes just stressed him completely out. He grinds his teeth so hard, it can be heard clear down the hall in another room. That was a strong indicator to his preschool teacher that something was wrong with him or his environment. She taught him to massage his jaws or open and close his mouth when he was old enough to be aware of his reactions to stress. (That worked some of the time, not all.)

That was often the case with many of my autistic students. They specifically placed one of them with me a 2nd year when I changed subjects so that he'd have someone familiar. Days the schedule changed were generally not so productive.

I don't know what did it, but your post also reminded me of another common thing among my autistic students, including the 2 with aspergers -- sensitivity to light, especially fluorescents or blinking. I always draped tissue paper over my classroom fluorescents and it seemed to do the trick (besides, the damn lights give me migraines anyway). You might see if you notice this he seems more upset in large stores with that sort of lighting and adjust accordingly.

It will all be okay with strong involved parenting. Early intervention and whatever therapies you find help calm your child will do wonders.

okay, I remembered something else about my sons idiosycrasies.

he could not stand when I accelerated the car. and when I did say... over 60 m.p.h. he would just freak out.

ex: when he was a baby (several months old) he would cry/scream at the top of his lungs.

when he started talking (simple sentences) he would scream/yell "sttopppp it."

then I had to slow down to a comfortable cruise for him.

I also could not take him to "kaybee toys" or "toys R us", too much stimulation with the sites and sounds. he also had a fixation with flushing the toilet (watching the water going in circles down the drain), and the front loader washer on spin cycle, that includes watching the clothes go around in the dryers at the laundromat. geesh, there is soo much more, but hopefully, you get the jist.

take care and I do hope this helps.

Edited June 20, 2008 by unononehigher

[Simply_Uno 1]

this is it for tonight, promise.

when he starts a sentence, he has to complete it. if you tell my son "josh, mommy is talking, what are you suppose to do?" he will answer; " I have to wait." but even still, he goes on to complete the verbalization of his thoughts.

[Sinergy 3]

During his toddler years, things became more "pronounced" and he even got kicked out of daycare when he was 2 because they were not "equipped" to provide for his needs. Ex: too many kids and it was like mental/sensory overload, transitioning from one activity to another and he could not cope, any change in "routine" and he could not function, (that even includes having a substitute teacher), and abrupt changes just stressed him completely out. He grinds his teeth so hard, it can be heard clear down the hall in another room. That was a strong indicator to his preschool teacher that something was wrong with him or his environment. She taught him to massage his jaws or open and close his mouth when he was old enough to be aware of his reactions to stress. (That worked some of the time, not all.)

That was often the case with many of my autistic students. They specifically placed one of them with me a 2nd year when I changed subjects so that he'd have someone familiar. Days the schedule changed were generally not so productive.

I don't know what did it, but your post also reminded me of another common thing among my autistic students, including the 2 with aspergers -- sensitivity to light, especially fluorescents or blinking. I always draped tissue paper over my classroom fluorescents and it seemed to do the trick (besides, the damn lights give me migraines anyway). You might see if you notice this he seems more upset in large stores with that sort of lighting and adjust accordingly.

It will all be okay with strong involved parenting. Early intervention and whatever therapies you find help calm your child will do wonders.

okay, I remembered something else about my sons idiosycrasies.

he could not stand when I accelerated the car. and when I did say... over 60 m.p.h. he would just freak out.

ex: when he was a baby (several months old) he would cry/scream at the top of his lungs.

when he started talking (simple sentences) he would scream/yell "sttopppp it."

then I had to slow down to a comfortable cruise for him.

I also could not take him to "kaybee toys" or "toys R us", too much stimulation with the sites and sounds. he also had a fixation with flushing the toilet (watching the water going in circles down the drain), and the front loader washer on spin cycle, that includes watching the clothes go around in the dryers at the laundromat. geesh, there is soo much more, but hopefully, you get the jist.

take care and I do hope this helps.

wow, my Josh does that, even flushes the toilet even if no one used it. And he gets pissed if you flush the toilet without him in there

[churipu 4]

A big hug to you and your beautiful little sunshine...

I am sure that with the early help of specialists and the huge love you have for him, Joshua will improve and live a perfectly happy and functioning life.

Good luck with everything.

[Necrotica 0]

Just about everyone here has given EXCELLENT advice thus far.

I was diagnosed with high-functioning autism when I was a toddler back in 1984, but I've still managed to drive a car, graduate from high school in the top 10% of my class, do ALL the immigration paperwork myself minus what the Consulate sent to my now-husband (talk about overload... d@mn!), hold down jobs, etc. There is hope for us, unlike what some people may say or think.

I have more to say, but the words aren't quite coming out the way I want them to, so I'll probably add to this later.

[StoryAngel 4]

Wonderful to see how much support VJers can be to one another. I don't have any direct experience with autism, although a good friend of mine who lives abroad has an autistic son who also has AS and maybe OCD, so I hear a lot of things from her.

The only recommendation I could make is that somewhere, in the midst of all the busyness, you make a bit of time to read Mark Haddon's first novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time http://www.amazon.com/Curious-Incident-Dog.../ref=pd_sim_b_1. It's fiction, not a medical book or anything... written through the eyes of a teenage autistic boy. It's a great read and my friend's mother also found it fascinating when she read it.

Wishing you all the best!!

[Sinergy 3]

thx