My son was diagnosed today with aspergers syndrome

[Sister Fracas 5]

Tara, I can't say much more than everyone else on this thread except be strong.

My husband has taught and occasionally continues to teach children with Asperges and children on the autistic spectrum. I hope you are able to find teachers who understand your son and are able to teach and care about him, without pitying him. He has a unique condition, but it's not insurmountable.

Take care

Edited June 19, 2008 by Sister Fracas

[Nessa 23]

I'm sorry to hear about that. My thoughts on it is that it's not something extremely serious, like cancer for example, it just takes some adjustment on your family's life which will be more difficult than if he didn't have aspergers syndrome. My sister has Down Syndrome. She can live a pretty normal life, she goes to school, she wins swimming competitions, she is an extremely happy person, happier than most people I know that are completely ''healthy''. I know I can't really compare the two of them because they're completey different, just trying to share my experience.

I wish you and your family the best.

[Welshcookie 17]

Hey Tara....I'm so sorry to hear this news, I remember when my own child was diagnosed I had feelings of great saddness but was glad to be able to move on and get him the help he needed.

Reading about how your child is at the moment bought many memories back of how my son was at that age also...esp with the food thing and lining stuff up. He suffered a lot at a young age with OCD and facial tics, but he seemed to 'grow out' of this by the time he reached his mid teens (he is 21 now).

There has been lots of good advice given already here...educate yourself as much as you can possibly take, you and your son will be fine.

(F)

[Aymerlu 3]

I also want to add to try to find a doctor that does not like to push medications. When my son was first diagnosed his doctors were wanting to throw meds at him! Grant it, there is one medication he does need, but not the 5 they were wanting him to take. I know when my son is excited or very upset, he ticks.....that's him and he doesn't need a med to make him stop. He has learned to calm himself down on his own. He also loves deep tissue massage and (I'm not sure what it's called) joint manipulation....where I'll rotates his wrist gently and gently pull on his wrists. I'll do his wrists and fingers and it totally calms him.

[Sinergy 3]

body rub downs with lotion is the only way i can get Joshua to sit still longer than 30 seconds, so im a firm believer in all of that.

I have cried after recieving so much support from all of you. Im still catching up on work, but checking in here once in a while.

all of you

[Aymerlu 3]

My son has qute a few pressure points that will mellow him out in an instance. It's good you already know what helps him.

[Alex+R 0]

Tara -- it sounds like you have already intuitively begun to help him before you even had a diagnosis.

I don't think "I'm sorry" is really an appropriate comment in this situation. I've known many Aspies, and they're not "lesser" than others, just different. An Aspie friend of mine calls it a gift!

You're a tough lady and I think you can probably handle any challenge, but it's nice to see the VJ community is still able to be helpful.

[Sinergy 3]

[Nessa 23]

aww what a cutie

[Sinergy 3]

aww what a cutie

Thanks

[Mags 112]

Tara, I'm so sorry about your boy. However, it does seem like you have had some excellent advice from VJers here and that's wonderful!

I'm just going to tell you a little story about a young lad I work with. He's 17 and has been with us for around 2 months now. He's often a tad quiet and he is very methodical. He does chat to us though and he is able to have a laugh. It was only a couple of weeks ago that the night manager told me that he is autistic. He was diagnosed at the age of 2 - apparently he had a severe version too. However, due to his mother constantly working with him he is a completely functioning individual. The only indicator you get is that he doesn't like to make eye contact very often.

His mother did amazing work with him and it is down to her that he is able to graduate from high school, hold down a job, drive and function in society as a whole.

I guess my point is that if you are willing to put in the time with Joshua then he will grow up to be a wonderful and intelligent individual with a HUGE amount of potential and he'll be able to keep your closet neat and tidy too.

Edited June 19, 2008 by Mags

[ronjie 0]

I sd it in another thread but i wanted to start a new one so i wouldnt hyjack the current thread

my son was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome today, which is a mild type of autism. Im still researching this, but if ANYONE has insight or knowledge on this please please email me : hockeygir@gmail.com...im desperate right now.

His peds other concern was Joshuas OCD. Hes bad with it. example: if you give him chicken nuggest and fries and you give him the plate with the nuggest and fries on the right hand side and ketchup on the left side, he will refuse to eat it, if you flip it, he also refuses as he knows it was wrongly placed in the first place. I have to place his food correctly on the plate for him to eat. Tonight he spent 15 mins fixing things in my closet as he noticed a pair of shoes were not lined correctly.

The Asperger's syndrome part is mainly, he sings to express himself, hes 3 and still talking like hes 1, he uses 2 word sentences. when he watches tv, he stands infront of it and hops while flapping his hands. Theres more things but im so tired right now.

Im so numb, and confused, angry and i dunno.

HI, these challenges are not the end of the world. Get him some help and brush up on the resources available to you and ur son. but over time the habits that r so strong now should fade quite abit.. redirection if he focuses too long r too deep on something is nessessary from time to time, but let him do alot of things for himself, ex.. get a drink of water, or get dressed. along with alot of socializing is great. A day care with a regular style class can be of help.... I raised my son fro 2 years old with the same symptoms, at first I was crushed, but then little at a time we got by the obstacles. he is now almost 8 years old and the improvements r nothing short of amazing. just my opinion, but, I would try to treat him as close to normal as the situation will allow. without overdoing all the help as far as doing every little thing for him like he can't accomplish things for himself. if you want a normal child , u will have to treat him normal... and routine is great, but that may add to OCD. So don't be afraid to mix it up,...the park one day, and a movie the next. and don't forget to enjoy everyday....take good care and god bless

[ronjie 0]

I sd it in another thread but i wanted to start a new one so i wouldnt hyjack the current thread

my son was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome today, which is a mild type of autism. Im still researching this, but if ANYONE has insight or knowledge on this please please email me : hockeygir@gmail.com...im desperate right now.

His peds other concern was Joshuas OCD. Hes bad with it. example: if you give him chicken nuggest and fries and you give him the plate with the nuggest and fries on the right hand side and ketchup on the left side, he will refuse to eat it, if you flip it, he also refuses as he knows it was wrongly placed in the first place. I have to place his food correctly on the plate for him to eat. Tonight he spent 15 mins fixing things in my closet as he noticed a pair of shoes were not lined correctly.

The Asperger's syndrome part is mainly, he sings to express himself, hes 3 and still talking like hes 1, he uses 2 word sentences. when he watches tv, he stands infront of it and hops while flapping his hands. Theres more things but im so tired right now.

Im so numb, and confused, angry and i dunno.

HI, these challenges are not the end of the world. Get him some help and brush up on the resources available to you and ur son. but over time the habits that r so strong now should fade quite abit.. redirection if he focuses too long r too deep on something is nessessary from time to time, but let him do alot of things for himself, ex.. get a drink of water, or get dressed. along with alot of socializing is great. A day care with a regular style class can be of help.... I raised my son fro 2 years old with the same symptoms,he didn't speak till he was 4.. at first I was crushed, but then little at a time we got by the obstacles. he is now almost 8 years old and the improvements r nothing short of amazing. just my opinion, but, I would try to treat him as close to normal as the situation will allow. without overdoing all the help as far as doing every little thing for him like he can't accomplish things for himself. if you want a normal child , u will have to treat him normal... and routine is great, but that may add to OCD. So don't be afraid to mix it up,...the park one day, and a movie the next. and don't forget to enjoy everyday....take good care and god bless

ohh yea, the hopping with the hands flapping on the tip toes,... i use to call that my sons happy dance,..he was and still is a very happy boy, going into second grade and attends regular classes, rides a bicycle, dirtbike, quad, karate, and so much more,..he is my best friend......and just some 411,... I am the dad......

[bgreed 0]

Tara, my oldest son has aspergers (he will be sixteen in September) when you first get the diagnosis it is heart breaking as we all want our kids to be happy and healthy.

Here's some of the tough things he may have trouble making friends, and some types of school work will be very frustrating for him. The friends part is because people with Aspergers don't process social cues the way other people do so sometimes they can come off as a bit different. Not a bad different just different. They also tend to really get focused on a particular subject. When my son was your sons age trains were his world. As he got older he could tell you everything you never wanted to know about Pokemon.

Now for the good news. People with Aspergers tend to be really bright and definately process things on a higher level. Fo instance my son was using large words in his vocabulary very early and he knew the meaning of them. When he was in first grade he used to write books or rather have his mom or me write books that he illustrated. He would take several sheets of paper and make a series of drawings and then ask one of us to write what he told us below the pictures. This stuff blew his teacher mind when she first saw them. We had our tough times and our victories most of the tough things were based around social situations. Last summer he took drivers ed, he is active in the drama club and the forensics team (at 6'0" and heavier than me, but not into sports though he does like to fight with bokken) He even has a girl friend. If they realize that they are just wired a bit different than others and learn to make a few adjustments there is no reason that they cannot have a full and happy life just like everyone else. Now I will say this one thing and I really believe that this is one of the reasons he is successful is that his mom and I gave him a place where he wasn't judged and could feel safe we also didn't cut him any slack and give him any of the "oh poor you" stuff he was expected to behave in a particular way and he did (aspergers people like things to be regular and repeatable) I know that everythings going to work out just fine for him. Even though his mom and I are not together he knows that he has a safe place with either of us where he can find solutions.

[Sinergy 3]

I sd it in another thread but i wanted to start a new one so i wouldnt hyjack the current thread

my son was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome today, which is a mild type of autism. Im still researching this, but if ANYONE has insight or knowledge on this please please email me : hockeygir@gmail.com...im desperate right now.

His peds other concern was Joshuas OCD. Hes bad with it. example: if you give him chicken nuggest and fries and you give him the plate with the nuggest and fries on the right hand side and ketchup on the left side, he will refuse to eat it, if you flip it, he also refuses as he knows it was wrongly placed in the first place. I have to place his food correctly on the plate for him to eat. Tonight he spent 15 mins fixing things in my closet as he noticed a pair of shoes were not lined correctly.

The Asperger's syndrome part is mainly, he sings to express himself, hes 3 and still talking like hes 1, he uses 2 word sentences. when he watches tv, he stands infront of it and hops while flapping his hands. Theres more things but im so tired right now.

Im so numb, and confused, angry and i dunno.

HI, these challenges are not the end of the world. Get him some help and brush up on the resources available to you and ur son. but over time the habits that r so strong now should fade quite abit.. redirection if he focuses too long r too deep on something is nessessary from time to time, but let him do alot of things for himself, ex.. get a drink of water, or get dressed. along with alot of socializing is great. A day care with a regular style class can be of help.... I raised my son fro 2 years old with the same symptoms,he didn't speak till he was 4.. at first I was crushed, but then little at a time we got by the obstacles. he is now almost 8 years old and the improvements r nothing short of amazing. just my opinion, but, I would try to treat him as close to normal as the situation will allow. without overdoing all the help as far as doing every little thing for him like he can't accomplish things for himself. if you want a normal child , u will have to treat him normal... and routine is great, but that may add to OCD. So don't be afraid to mix it up,...the park one day, and a movie the next. and don't forget to enjoy everyday....take good care and god bless

ohh yea, the hopping with the hands flapping on the tip toes,... i use to call that my sons happy dance,..he was and still is a very happy boy, going into second grade and attends regular classes, rides a bicycle, dirtbike, quad, karate, and so much more,..he is my best friend......and just some 411,... I am the dad......

Thank you so much for all your words. You are absolutly right, and since i have had a day to think about it all and listen to vjers i was able to calm down and clear my head.

Mags: thank you for that story, it was indeed calming to my mind and heart and i love my clean tidy closet