Prevention

[totes 0]

A woman I met was telling me her scam story. She met a guy online who claimed he was an American guy from New York who had gotten stranded in Africa. They started dating online and he began asking her for money to get back to the US. She ended up dating this guy for over a year online. I asked her if she had talked to him on the phone and she said yes, he had an accent, but he told her it was because he had been raised in Africa as a child and she believed him.

Eventually, she made the trip to Nigeria to help rescue her American man only to meet an African man at the airport. Can you imagine they had been dating all of that time and she had no idea what he looked like? She was walking around looking for a tall, blonde guy only to have a Nigerian man greet her. He explained to her that he had been lying to her out of fear (yeah right). She was initially very upset, but the fool decided to stick with him since he had come clean and she was already stuck in Nigeria. 2 years later, she has left him after he sucked her dry of her money. Talk about ignoring the red flags...

There are so many stories like this one. I know a lady who talked to her white man working as a contractor in Nigeria, for two years and never saw him on cam. He was sucking her dry, she lost everything, house, kids, etc., when I met her, I started pushing her to force him to get on cam for her, knowing full well he was African. Once she demanded he do it, he confessed to her that he was Nigerian. Two years!!!! Dang.... such sad stories.

[4theloveofhenry 8]

That is sooo funny. Well not funny but funny about the blond guy bit. Anyway it reminds me of a site my husband and I would lagh at called Ebola monkey man. I think thats what it was called.

A woman I met was telling me her scam story. She met a guy online who claimed he was an American guy from New York who had gotten stranded in Africa. They started dating online and he began asking her for money to get back to the US. She ended up dating this guy for over a year online. I asked her if she had talked to him on the phone and she said yes, he had an accent, but he told her it was because he had been raised in Africa as a child and she believed him.

Eventually, she made the trip to Nigeria to help rescue her American man only to meet an African man at the airport. Can you imagine they had been dating all of that time and she had no idea what he looked like? She was walking around looking for a tall, blonde guy only to have a Nigerian man greet her. He explained to her that he had been lying to her out of fear (yeah right). She was initially very upset, but the fool decided to stick with him since he had come clean and she was already stuck in Nigeria. 2 years later, she has left him after he sucked her dry of her money. Talk about ignoring the red flags...

[LovinLiberia 0]

All good points. One thing I cannot stress enough is.... if going to meet a person in another country for the first time, have a back up plan, know someone there you can call if you need assistance, pay attention to your surroundings when there and do not allow yourself to be put in uncomfortable situations. I actually would not even recommend going, especially to Africa, if there is even one single doubt or uncertainty in your mind. Safety can be an issue there in the perfect situation so unless you are 100% certain about this person, I recommend you not go. Everyone has had great suggestions. Contact his/her employer on your own, don't tell him/her you are doing it, check out his/her church and if he/she is a member. Speak to his pastor, his family. Insist that the person get on cam and allow you to meet his/her family and see them on cam. Like someone said... ask the same questions over and over in different variations to see if you get different responses, if he/she continuously has one crisis after another... that is a huge flag. For example, he/she get's robbed, then shortly after, a parent or sibling comes down with a horrible disease, then there's an automobile accident and he/she has been in the hospital (all of these situations he/she requests even if indirectly money or other financial assistance). There is a good chance you are being scammed.

That's all for now, I can think of millions of things, I'll post more later.

hugs,

tess

This post was excellent and you had some wonderful tips, even some I wish I would have followed in ALL my relationships. The one about not telling too much about yourself is excellent. It goes for the profile as well, for those that may meet on dating sites.

For those already in the relationship I would have to say the number one thing you can do is love and respect yourself. If you love and respect yourself then it will stop you from doing things that go against your core beliefs. If you have been looking for a mate to "share" your life with then make sure that the relationship is 50/50. If your partner is taking, taking, taking but not giving back then communicate the things you want and need from them. If you see that they are not willing to make the changes on your behalf then its decision making time. Is this really what you can see yourself doing forever? Is this amount of love somthing you are willing to accept for some time to come or for that matter forever. There is nothing wrong with calling your partner all the time if YOU want to but if they are not making any effort to call you and are just relying on you to initiate the communication then ask yourself if you are willing to accept this or not. If they need help from you and have a financial bind then there is nothing wrong with helping them, but if they are asking you to take care of them becuase of their "situation" then ask yourself are you able to do that, do you want to enter into a relationship where you are caring for your spouse and they are not able to share the responsibilty, and is your partner really ready to enter into a relationship? If your partner is telling you he/she dosnt have a job or cant get money then ask yourself this, "why are they spending their time at a internet cafe" Shouldnt getting money and taking care of themselves be their first priority especially if they are interested in starting a life and possibly family with someone else. This can be used here at home as well. I know that a person in love will do everything possibly to care for and protect the partner he/she loves, so if you find yourself in a bind and he does not at least offer to try to give you assistance then ask yourself if this person is going to be a selfless lover or a selfish one. If he /she is the latter than ask yourself are you willing to accept that for yourself? If so then do not be angry later on when he/she continues on with the pattern. After all you decided to accept it.

The number one thing I could say to everyone in a new relationship is dont start the relationship out doing things you cannot be happy with in the long run. If you find yourself displeased in the begininning then express that displeasure and see what your parnter is willing to do. Do not make excuses for behavior that you find disturbing and do not accept excuses if the excuse does not feel right. But all in all you cannot blame someone else for choices that you have made. In the end if you choose to accept a certain behavior or behaviors from someone then you must be willing to live with those behaviors and not expect that the person will suddenly change what you have accepted. And if you have expressed a need for change and the person does not at least try then dont base your life on that relationship. Get out! Dont walk down the aisle in hopes that things will change becuase marriage dosnt change things. There is no happily ever after. There is only time, patience, work, understanding, and forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness in a marriage.

Excellent post, all scammers take, take, take and never give, give give. It could be emotionally or financially. If your SO is constantly taking from you and never giving, then there is a big problem and its up to you to decide if that is the kind of relationship you desire.

[Ta Ta 1]

A woman I met was telling me her scam story. She met a guy online who claimed he was an American guy from New York who had gotten stranded in Africa. They started dating online and he began asking her for money to get back to the US. She ended up dating this guy for over a year online. I asked her if she had talked to him on the phone and she said yes, he had an accent, but he told her it was because he had been raised in Africa as a child and she believed him.

Eventually, she made the trip to Nigeria to help rescue her American man only to meet an African man at the airport. Can you imagine they had been dating all of that time and she had no idea what he looked like? She was walking around looking for a tall, blonde guy only to have a Nigerian man greet her. He explained to her that he had been lying to her out of fear (yeah right). She was initially very upset, but the fool decided to stick with him since he had come clean and she was already stuck in Nigeria. 2 years later, she has left him after he sucked her dry of her money. Talk about ignoring the red flags...

There are so many stories like this one. I know a lady who talked to her white man working as a contractor in Nigeria, for two years and never saw him on cam. He was sucking her dry, she lost everything, house, kids, etc., when I met her, I started pushing her to force him to get on cam for her, knowing full well he was African. Once she demanded he do it, he confessed to her that he was Nigerian. Two years!!!! Dang.... such sad stories.

There is a woman not far from me who thought she was dating a white guy in Africa also. She waits at the airport to get picked up

and then turns around as a black guy calls her name...............he told her would you have come here if I told you I was black ?

Guess what she married him a few days later and now he is due to arrive soon.

I couldn't believe it ! He said his profile pic was that of his good white friend who got killed..........as if that would

make it any better

[LovinLiberia 0]

Sounds like the same story, heh. Is your friend's name Laura?

[Simply_Uno 1]

A woman I met was telling me her scam story. She met a guy online who claimed he was an American guy from New York who had gotten stranded in Africa. They started dating online and he began asking her for money to get back to the US. She ended up dating this guy for over a year online. I asked her if she had talked to him on the phone and she said yes, he had an accent, but he told her it was because he had been raised in Africa as a child and she believed him.

Eventually, she made the trip to Nigeria to help rescue her American man only to meet an African man at the airport. Can you imagine they had been dating all of that time and she had no idea what he looked like? She was walking around looking for a tall, blonde guy only to have a Nigerian man greet her. He explained to her that he had been lying to her out of fear (yeah right). She was initially very upset, but the fool decided to stick with him since he had come clean and she was already stuck in Nigeria. 2 years later, she has left him after he sucked her dry of her money. Talk about ignoring the red flags...

There are so many stories like this one. I know a lady who talked to her white man working as a contractor in Nigeria, for two years and never saw him on cam. He was sucking her dry, she lost everything, house, kids, etc., when I met her, I started pushing her to force him to get on cam for her, knowing full well he was African. Once she demanded he do it, he confessed to her that he was Nigerian. Two years!!!! Dang.... such sad stories.

There is a woman not far from me who thought she was dating a white guy in Africa also. She waits at the airport to get picked up

and then turns around as a black guy calls her name...............he told her would you have come here if I told you I was black ?

Guess what she married him a few days later and now he is due to arrive soon.

I couldn't believe it ! He said his profile pic was that of his good white friend who got killed..........as if that would

make it any better

did I not mention having your senses in tact and not your coochies in control

[Ta Ta 1]

Screen, screen, screen the first few months before falling head over heels and then continue to do the rest of the monitoring and assessing of character.

[totes 0]

Sounds like the same story, heh. Is your friend's name Laura?

No but.... her name does start with an L.... think we're on to something? lol

[totes 0]

A woman I met was telling me her scam story. She met a guy online who claimed he was an American guy from New York who had gotten stranded in Africa. They started dating online and he began asking her for money to get back to the US. She ended up dating this guy for over a year online. I asked her if she had talked to him on the phone and she said yes, he had an accent, but he told her it was because he had been raised in Africa as a child and she believed him.

Eventually, she made the trip to Nigeria to help rescue her American man only to meet an African man at the airport. Can you imagine they had been dating all of that time and she had no idea what he looked like? She was walking around looking for a tall, blonde guy only to have a Nigerian man greet her. He explained to her that he had been lying to her out of fear (yeah right). She was initially very upset, but the fool decided to stick with him since he had come clean and she was already stuck in Nigeria. 2 years later, she has left him after he sucked her dry of her money. Talk about ignoring the red flags...

There are so many stories like this one. I know a lady who talked to her white man working as a contractor in Nigeria, for two years and never saw him on cam. He was sucking her dry, she lost everything, house, kids, etc., when I met her, I started pushing her to force him to get on cam for her, knowing full well he was African. Once she demanded he do it, he confessed to her that he was Nigerian. Two years!!!! Dang.... such sad stories.

There is a woman not far from me who thought she was dating a white guy in Africa also. She waits at the airport to get picked up

and then turns around as a black guy calls her name...............he told her would you have come here if I told you I was black ?

Guess what she married him a few days later and now he is due to arrive soon.

I couldn't believe it ! He said his profile pic was that of his good white friend who got killed..........as if that would

make it any better

did I not mention having your senses in tact and not your coochies in control

Ya know, the saddest part is many of the women/men I talk to are just lonely, nieve and are looking for someone to love them, alot of them are pretty new to the internet after recent divorces or deaths. But then again, that's who these scammer's target don't they???

[LovinLiberia 0]

Sounds like the same story, heh. Is your friend's name Laura?

No but.... her name does start with an L.... think we're on to something? lol

Sorry, I was referring to Omoba's story, lol.

[Perseverance 1]

These stories remind me of something that I just dont get!!!! I dont know how, but many people ask my husband if he is from England?????? WHAT for real??? I think to myself sometimes, where did these people get an eduacation from

Since I have experienced this phenomena I see how people can so easily get sucked into a scam. I used to hear the stories and think really? did they grow up in a bubble? But I have realised that this misconception is far more common than we think.

PLEASE PEOPLE!!!!! Do your homework about where ever in the WORLD your SO might be from!

OK sorry if that was a little side jaunt

P

Edited June 19, 2008 by Perseverance

[reeses16 8]

Hey, I decided to visit www.rapleaf.com I never heard of the site before, I think it can be useful. But I was very surprised. When I typed in y e-mail address my name came up, my age was correct, but the city was some place I never lived and it linked me to "my" myspace account...some chick I don't even know. Oh and did I mention, I don't have a myspace account?!

Anyway, thanks for posting it Omoba!

[Ta Ta 1]

Hey, I decided to visit www.rapleaf.com I never heard of the site before, I think it can be useful. But I was very surprised. When I typed in y e-mail address my name came up, my age was correct, but the city was some place I never lived and it linked me to "my" myspace account...some chick I don't even know. Oh and did I mention, I don't have a myspace account?!

Anyway, thanks for posting it Omoba!

Yes, sometimes it has its quirks for some reason but one can find out a lot of unknown info when it does work !

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

A woman I met was telling me her scam story. She met a guy online who claimed he was an American guy from New York who had gotten stranded in Africa. They started dating online and he began asking her for money to get back to the US. She ended up dating this guy for over a year online. I asked her if she had talked to him on the phone and she said yes, he had an accent, but he told her it was because he had been raised in Africa as a child and she believed him.

Eventually, she made the trip to Nigeria to help rescue her American man only to meet an African man at the airport. Can you imagine they had been dating all of that time and she had no idea what he looked like? She was walking around looking for a tall, blonde guy only to have a Nigerian man greet her. He explained to her that he had been lying to her out of fear (yeah right). She was initially very upset, but the fool decided to stick with him since he had come clean and she was already stuck in Nigeria. 2 years later, she has left him after he sucked her dry of her money. Talk about ignoring the red flags...

There are so many stories like this one. I know a lady who talked to her white man working as a contractor in Nigeria, for two years and never saw him on cam. He was sucking her dry, she lost everything, house, kids, etc., when I met her, I started pushing her to force him to get on cam for her, knowing full well he was African. Once she demanded he do it, he confessed to her that he was Nigerian. Two years!!!! Dang.... such sad stories.

There is a woman not far from me who thought she was dating a white guy in Africa also. She waits at the airport to get picked up

and then turns around as a black guy calls her name...............he told her would you have come here if I told you I was black ?

Guess what she married him a few days later and now he is due to arrive soon.

I couldn't believe it ! He said his profile pic was that of his good white friend who got killed..........as if that would

make it any better

WHAT??????????????

I don't think it's fair to call these things scams. These people are idiots.

[*JG* 2]

Good advice girls. Sadly, we live and we learn.

The only thing I want to say is the statement about scammers always taking, taking, taking........not necessarily true. Sometimes early on, they give, give, give to reel you in. It might not be something expensive materially. Sometimes it's small gifts. Usually just lots and lots of sweet words. Later is when they start asking for things. And, those sweet words and small gifts come like prizes for what you can give them. The true scammer knows how to turn women into on of Pavlov's dogs.