What if you died?

[Nagishkaw 510]

With this horrible news about Dawn it got me thinking. Not only does her husband have to face the reality of her death, but will he have not only the assistance, but the money to plan her funeral. Will he be able to survive not just emotionally but financially without her?

The majority of the USC's are the wives, and more than likely will be the bread winner for some time to come. Have you thought about your husband should you die? Will he have have a place to live (that he can afford on his own). Do you have life insurance? Does he know what steps he needs to follow to collect it? The list could go on and on.

Any other thoughts on this? I do not want to leave my husband in this kind of situation should I die before my time.

is there a way to name a beneficiary not living in the U.S??? From this I have considered revising my Life and accidentail insurance but wasn't sure I could do that since he doesn't have a SS# ????

But you are right... things to think about. What happens if we were to pass prior to them getting permanent status??

Yes. My life insurance company said I can add anyone on as a beneficiary and it doesnt matter who, where they live, or if they have a SS # or not.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Yes, we both are concerned about this. Things can change so quickly! What worries me is coping with all of the little daily attentions to details, knowing where his important papers are, taking care of paying bills while I am emotionally trying to adjust to his loss and afraid that I won't be able to handle all of it on my own. So much of our accounts are now managed online and I worry that I won't be able to access things electronically and something will fall through the cracks! We have our wills and we have insurance, and we have discussed what arrangements we want made for our funerals - but it is what happens after that worries me - being here alone in what is still a foreign country. I know I won't be able to afford our home on my own and I worry about my own financial wellbeing. There is an ex-wife in the equation who gets his army pension re: their divorce settlement. What else is there that I don't know about and we haven't thought about? It is the unknown that worries me. I can still work now but am not able to get a well-paying job at my age here. I never worried about any of this before I married but once your life becomes entwined with someone else's, it isn't all in your hands anymore. I also worry about what will happen to our cats if something happens to the both of us and so have left instructions for their care too.

[Mrs. BB 0]

I have a life insurance policy and a will with wishes clearly stated. I also have him as a beneficiary at work so he can pick up my last check and on the bank account as well. Eventually I will have him added as a joint on the account but my bank requires he have a SSN first. So I made him a beneficiary "just in case."

In addition to that I have an Advance Medical Directive that has my wishes clearly stating what to do in case I become brain dead or in a vegitative state. Organ donation and DNR parameters are all in there. That way there is no question as to what to do in those situations.

I think its always best to be prepared. I've had too many people in my own life die due to unforseen circumstances. Car accidents and sudden illness. Grieving for a loved one is hard enough with out having to worry about all the paperwork.

[MrsAmera 41]

This is really a sore spot in our relationship, mostly because my husband doesn't want to think about it, but we have two small children and I really worry about how he would handle things if I were gone. I'm pretty sure he would move back to Morocco with the kids because it would be really hard for him here. But who knows I might be surprised. I also worry about what my family would do. They are really attached to our kids and if he moved back to Morocco I wonder if they would fight for custody to keep them in the states. My husband had never traveled more than 1 or 2 hours away from home before he met me and moved to the US and he still has a lot to learn. I'm sure he could do it but it would be really hard for him.

As for me, I would be financially secure and able to handle the pressures of the children, I'm not worried about that at all. However I am pretty sure I wouldn't remarry and would have a very very hard time emotionally.

Edited June 18, 2008 by MrsAmera

[SMOKE 1,426]

yes, i have been thinking about this a lot lately. i've got it all set up so she will be ok if it were to happen. in all honesty....she's giving up the world as she knows it for me/us. i owe it to her to make sure she will be financially ok if i pass.

Edited June 18, 2008 by SMOKE

[mawilson 2,133]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

[KiKi 0]

I'm not worried aobut my husband financially, he is the breadwinner....

I worry about my kids. I think about how my boys would go to their father and my husband would probably want to take my daughter back to Toronto and I worry if my sons would get to see see their sister much......things like that.

btw, BIGGEST reason I quit smoking, all that!

[Cassie 8]

We have our wills set up, life insurance in place (we're going to buy a policy on him separate from the insurance he gets through work, because that won't be enough), we've discussed burial plans, etc. With both my parents being seriously ill in the last three years, we've been thinking about it and planning for it, especially since I no longer work.

[Ban Hammer 12,915]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

and tell almaty where you stashed the porn.

[mawilson 2,133]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

and tell almaty where you stashed the porn.

Yes, the password to your porn archive - though not as important as your email account,

which your wife can use to mess with your friends from beyond the grave...

[morocco4ever 63]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

and tell almaty where you stashed the porn.

Yes, the password to your porn archive - though not as important as your email account,

which your wife can use to mess with your friends from beyond the grave...

Why wait until you are beyond the grave? Not half as much fun.

[Amby 490]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

this is true. charles has all my info.

[mawilson 2,133]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

and tell almaty where you stashed the porn.

Yes, the password to your porn archive - though not as important as your email account,

which your wife can use to mess with your friends from beyond the grave...

Why wait until you are beyond the grave? Not half as much fun.

There's actually a company that will send emails on your behalf after your death.

YouDeparted.com I think was their name.

[GaryC 7]

Luz is one of those types that doesn't want to talk about it. It's hard to bring the subject up but I know some things need to be discussed. When I got married I tripled my life insurance. She now has enough to pay off all debts including the house with a tidy sum left over. Coupled with the SS survivors benefits and what I have in my 401K she should be good with her job.

[morocco4ever 63]

What's important is who has your VJ password when you die.

Also things like Yahoo Mail, PayPal, eBay, etc.

and tell almaty where you stashed the porn.

Yes, the password to your porn archive - though not as important as your email account,

which your wife can use to mess with your friends from beyond the grave...

Why wait until you are beyond the grave? Not half as much fun.

There's actually a company that will send emails on your behalf after your death.

YouDeparted.com I think was their name.

How do you notify them of your death?