Victor Obinna Ezike Jr.

[idocare 3]

I'm one of the old school members here on VJ. I brought to this country ( the USA ) and married a Nigerian man back in 2004. I got pregnant 3-weeks of his arrival here, our son Victor Obinna Ezike Jr was the only joy that would come out of our union. I still can't understand why his father would name our son after himself then cut a total fool to leave his son behind. My guess is when you want a GC so bad you'll do anything to get one, even if it means marrying someone you have zero intentions of staying with.

As I promised myself to post on this forum from time to time of my experience here I sit, and here we go; first to those that take offense simply don't read any farther and NO, I won't be defending my post. Some on here have become unofficial experts of my feelings and thoughts, and too you I say save your energy for your own approaching storm.

What really get me to this day is that many people that are going thru this visa journey already knows of someone that has been used for a GC or is currently being used for one but for some reason they think that it won't be the case with their alien spouse. I once read on this site in a thread where a women that was born and raised in Nigeria responded to a thread; she wrote that 98% ( can't remember her exact quote but it was in the nineties ) of marriages from Nigeria to US citizens are fraudulent, ofcourse she caught alot of heat from mad posters for her statement and way too many people trying to justiy their relationships with these fiances and husbands that they barely spent time with. Lets be for real a moment, most of us have spent less then one year physically with our (soon to be ) spouse. My neighbor from Uganda told me that in her country they have people employed to chat online and match up people wanting to come to America, they then pass that information over to whom hired them to meet an american online for marriage. Once the American commits, then their job is done. Then your actually dealing with the person your gonna marry.

I went to Nigeria the first time back in 2003, I was too scared to really site see plus my then fiance had to work alot, he had 2-jobs at 2 different hospitals and being that I'm in the medical field also, me going to work with him was right up my alley. I enjoyed watching him take care of his patients, going and getting report from the attending doctor he was relieving and just watching the way they handled their patients there in Lagos. ( totally different from America ) I was very grateful that God watched over me while I was there, no robbers came in the still of the night nor was there any problems of anyone trying to bring harm my way. ( To keep it real one run in with security at the airport while walking to his car, I now think he sat that up tho.) As you all know there are many alert warnings about traveling to Africa.

I believe that many Americans that choose to marry a Alien are strong willed middle to low class Americans, many still in school getting their Masters ( or lower ) degree. But these Americans are very strong willed. They have little to none experience concerning immigration nor the people from other countries. They don't know that many people in third world countries (educated, sucessful, married within their country ) have a desire to get to American no matter whom they hurt in the process. They don't know how easy it is for them to purchase fraudulent papers saying anything they want it to say. But in confidence they're Alien have told them just as my ex-husband has mentioned it to me. But again the confession of love from them tends to shade us Americans. They have a way of getting us to think that they're sharing their countries corruption with us so our relationship is legit with them.

I spent only 6-days in Nigeria the first visit, I was already won over but had to go so that we could say that we met in person. We talked on the phone alot, ofcourse it was me calling alot, he called me approx. 3-times a month give or take, but I was the aggressor once he professed his love for me.

For some reason I was under the inpression that he was poor, that he didn't have the means to call, ofcourse I didn't know that calling the states isn't an expensive call, it took me going there and calling my kids back here to understand that. ( plus he's a medical doctor there )

Many of us feel or are manipulated into thinking that once we meet these Aliens that we have to take care of them, I say stop that RIGHT NOW , ask yourself how were they survifing before you met them, and they had money to chat with you then, so you shouldn't have to be paying their way now. Unless your looking for a dependent husband/wife, because believe it or not, the way you treat them now is the way that they and their family is gonna expect you to continue to treat them, so for that family, don't provide unless you intend to continue providing. For all of you that have been to Nigeria we all know that most of the people there charge you for services based on what they feel you can pay. My then fiance would send the housekeeper from his work ( we lived at Bob Specialist Hospital where he lived in a one room provided for him) to get our eggs and tomatoes each morning cause according to him, they would charge me more once hearing my accent and knowing that I wasen't Nigerian.

Okay so much to tell but my son is preventing me from telling it cause he wants my time, but my caution is to all the newbies here, if you think you have found gold by finding a Alien , please take time to get to know that person. Many of us Americans are good hard working people that aren't aware of the manipulaion and lies that exist in a third world country, we don't know how bad many want to come to America nor what their willing to do to get here. I know that my ex-husband used me for American benefits and I'm stilll working to prove that I was not an abrusive spouse. It's funny how our goverment works, they take a Amercan citizen that has a clean record and believe someone from from a corrupt country and allows that person to tarnish their name.

My caution to all you at the beginning of your visa process is to live in your fiance's country before marrying them, you have to realize that your not dealing with your average joe just looking to get laid.

For those that have brought men here and now going thru hard times, please feel free to e-mail me, there are precautions that you can take if you realize u have been used. I'm willing to work with you. With dealing with my own situation I now know some things you can do to combat their many lies.

My son turned 3 this month, his Father, living in this same community has not seen him since he was one years old, but then , I now know he didn't come here to have a baby, but hey , a baby is solid proof of having a relationship with his spouse. So why not ??? If you don't put yourself in the mind frame of someone from a third world country, you will end up just as I did, but posting your story to help others is on you, I know many that have been used for American benefits don't post, they are just glad to get that abrusive person away from them, but that's not helping the cause. We Americans that fought so hard to get our Alien spouse's here must fight equally hard to let immigration know of the scams that we experienced. For professional people getting here thru marriage the I-360 seems to be their way of choice of leaving their American spouse, please become familiar with this I-360.

For the moderators, please allow my thread due to the fact that I'm sharing information concerning the Sub Sarharn, no where on this site does it say it has to be happy and positive. I admit that what I wrote is true so just let it ride.

To the newbies take heed, lest you bring a person here that means you MO good. This is my story, is much of it that I can write for now. As I said feel free to e-mail me, but if you met an Alien thru the internet and it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

I'm thankful for having Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. I was over 40 when he was born, my ex-husband was still in his thirties, I hear that they are groomed and well studied on American immigration way before they come here, but again that's something they won't share with you especially if their intent is to leave you once they get their greencard.

To make a long story short, my ex-husband wanted to leave and there wasen't anything I could do or say to keep him here with me, I lost once I signed for the adjustment of statis, he was then able to scam his way from there. Please e-mail me and I'll tell you the signs to look out for as well as what to do to combat their defense against you.

[mrsartis 10]

I'm one of the old school members here on VJ. I brought to this country ( the USA ) and married a Nigerian man back in 2004. I got pregnant 3-weeks of his arrival here, our son Victor Obinna Ezike Jr was the only joy that would come out of our union. I still can't understand why his father would name our son after himself then cut a total fool to leave his son behind. My guess is when you want a GC so bad you'll do anything to get one, even if it means marrying someone you have zero intentions of staying with.

As I promised myself to post on this forum from time to time of my experience here I sit, and here we go; first to those that take offense simply don't read any farther and NO, I won't be defending my post. Some on here have become unofficial experts of my feelings and thoughts, and too you I say save your energy for your own approaching storm.

What really get me to this day is that many people that are going thru this visa journey already knows of someone that has been used for a GC or is currently being used for one but for some reason they think that it won't be the case with their alien spouse. I once read on this site in a thread where a women that was born and raised in Nigeria responded to a thread; she wrote that 98% ( can't remember her exact quote but it was in the nineties ) of marriages from Nigeria to US citizens are fraudulent, ofcourse she caught alot of heat from mad posters for her statement and way too many people trying to justiy their relationships with these fiances and husbands that they barely spent time with. Lets be for real a moment, most of us have spent less then one year physically with our (soon to be ) spouse. My neighbor from Uganda told me that in her country they have people employed to chat online and match up people wanting to come to America, they then pass that information over to whom hired them to meet an american online for marriage. Once the American commits, then their job is done. Then your actually dealing with the person your gonna marry.

I went to Nigeria the first time back in 2003, I was too scared to really site see plus my then fiance had to work alot, he had 2-jobs at 2 different hospitals and being that I'm in the medical field also, me going to work with him was right up my alley. I enjoyed watching him take care of his patients, going and getting report from the attending doctor he was relieving and just watching the way they handled their patients there in Lagos. ( totally different from America ) I was very grateful that God watched over me while I was there, no robbers came in the still of the night nor was there any problems of anyone trying to bring harm my way. ( To keep it real one run in with security at the airport while walking to his car, I now think he sat that up tho.) As you all know there are many alert warnings about traveling to Africa.

I believe that many Americans that choose to marry a Alien are strong willed middle to low class Americans, many still in school getting their Masters ( or lower ) degree. But these Americans are very strong willed. They have little to none experience concerning immigration nor the people from other countries. They don't know that many people in third world countries (educated, sucessful, married within their country ) have a desire to get to American no matter whom they hurt in the process. They don't know how easy it is for them to purchase fraudulent papers saying anything they want it to say. But in confidence they're Alien have told them just as my ex-husband has mentioned it to me. But again the confession of love from them tends to shade us Americans. They have a way of getting us to think that they're sharing their countries corruption with us so our relationship is legit with them.

I spent only 6-days in Nigeria the first visit, I was already won over but had to go so that we could say that we met in person. We talked on the phone alot, ofcourse it was me calling alot, he called me approx. 3-times a month give or take, but I was the aggressor once he professed his love for me.

For some reason I was under the inpression that he was poor, that he didn't have the means to call, ofcourse I didn't know that calling the states isn't an expensive call, it took me going there and calling my kids back here to understand that. ( plus he's a medical doctor there )

Many of us feel or are manipulated into thinking that once we meet these Aliens that we have to take care of them, I say stop that RIGHT NOW , ask yourself how were they survifing before you met them, and they had money to chat with you then, so you shouldn't have to be paying their way now. Unless your looking for a dependent husband/wife, because believe it or not, the way you treat them now is the way that they and their family is gonna expect you to continue to treat them, so for that family, don't provide unless you intend to continue providing. For all of you that have been to Nigeria we all know that most of the people there charge you for services based on what they feel you can pay. My then fiance would send the housekeeper from his work ( we lived at Bob Specialist Hospital where he lived in a one room provided for him) to get our eggs and tomatoes each morning cause according to him, they would charge me more once hearing my accent and knowing that I wasen't Nigerian.

Okay so much to tell but my son is preventing me from telling it cause he wants my time, but my caution is to all the newbies here, if you think you have found gold by finding a Alien , please take time to get to know that person. Many of us Americans are good hard working people that aren't aware of the manipulaion and lies that exist in a third world country, we don't know how bad many want to come to America nor what their willing to do to get here. I know that my ex-husband used me for American benefits and I'm stilll working to prove that I was not an abrusive spouse. It's funny how our goverment works, they take a Amercan citizen that has a clean record and believe someone from from a corrupt country and allows that person to tarnish their name.

My caution to all you at the beginning of your visa process is to live in your fiance's country before marrying them, you have to realize that your not dealing with your average joe just looking to get laid.

For those that have brought men here and now going thru hard times, please feel free to e-mail me, there are precautions that you can take if you realize u have been used. I'm willing to work with you. With dealing with my own situation I now know some things you can do to combat their many lies.

My son turned 3 this month, his Father, living in this same community has not seen him since he was one years old, but then , I now know he didn't come here to have a baby, but hey , a baby is solid proof of having a relationship with his spouse. So why not ??? If you don't put yourself in the mind frame of someone from a third world country, you will end up just as I did, but posting your story to help others is on you, I know many that have been used for American benefits don't post, they are just glad to get that abrusive person away from them, but that's not helping the cause. We Americans that fought so hard to get our Alien spouse's here must fight equally hard to let immigration know of the scams that we experienced. For professional people getting here thru marriage the I-360 seems to be their way of choice of leaving their American spouse, please become familiar with this I-360.

For the moderators, please allow my thread due to the fact that I'm sharing information concerning the Sub Sarharn, no where on this site does it say it has to be happy and positive. I admit that what I wrote is true so just let it ride.

To the newbies take heed, lest you bring a person here that means you MO good. This is my story, is much of it that I can write for now. As I said feel free to e-mail me, but if you met an Alien thru the internet and it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

I'm thankful for having Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. I was over 40 when he was born, my ex-husband was still in his thirties, I hear that they are groomed and well studied on American immigration way before they come here, but again that's something they won't share with you especially if their intent is to leave you once they get their greencard.

To make a long story short, my ex-husband wanted to leave and there wasen't anything I could do or say to keep him here with me, I lost once I signed for the adjustment of statis, he was then able to scam his way from there. Please e-mail me and I'll tell you the signs to look out for as well as what to do to combat their defense against you.

Hi Dr.

Thank you so much for your vent.. I may not know what you are going thru and im an alien myself, but still im a woman.. im getting scared as well to be married with an american.. But i just want to say i support your cause and im calling out each of my sisters here in the Philippines to be cautious as well and spread the news.

I admire your courage over this.. I know its hard.. but i do hope that i have helped knowing you do have my support.

Happy Birthday to your youngest son..

BEst,

Micah

[Donna A 4]

i feel bad for u and ur son idocare. i know ur doing ur best to protect this from happening to anyone else and i admire u for that. but u know love is blind and they will no see the signs no matter what u say. i once was chatting with a nigerian man and then all of a sudden his friend started iming me. the first guy found out and said be careful of him, he is trying to get a gc. im sure there was a plan between the two of them. probably thought i would find him so honost and give my heart to him and then he would scam me. anyway i wasnt interested in either of them, wasnt looking for marriege just someone to chat with. u know usually chatting with people just dies out in time anyway. after a few years he finally sent me a email saying he got married and they were expecting a baby. he did marry a nigerian girl so either he failed in finding someone to provide a green card or maybe he really was on the up and up.

my best friend lived in nigeria for 20 years and she told me never trust a nigerian. she knew and saw how they were.

anyway i wish everyone here to find their mr. right. i know fraud happens everywhere and with everyone. u just cant pin it on nigerians.

[BarbSami 32]

Idocare,

I really understand what you are saying and I feel you. I am so sorry that this happen to you.

May God give you peace and the strength to heal from your pain.

Barb

[LostinTranslation 1]

Hi Idocare,

I am sorry to hear of your misfortune with your Nigerian lover/husband/scammer. I too feel as if I was a victim but in a different way. There was a post similar to my story can’t remember who the poster was. He didn’t need a green card; he was a fortunate winner of the DV Lottery. Here is my story regarding my first and last encounter with a Nigerian man. I met this young man through a mutual friend. I found him to be intriguing, intelligent and first and foremost his fear of God and love for God. Well, he became my main focus and I became his (I thought). After many flights back and forth between the two of us, we decided to cohabitate. Because we were in love, this is when I got LOST IN TRANSLATION. I started assisting him with applications for jobs, passing his resume to girlfriends that are recruiters’ , taking time off to take him to interviews, open house, paying for his medicals expenses, medication and by the Grace of God he became employed. I started going to work late, leaving early so that he would have a way to and from work. Then he became very distance, too tired for sex (not such a big issue, he was lousy in bed), always on the cell phone. I noticed that he was using an 800 number immediately after I left for work (before he became employed). I have Comcast digital voice which records all incoming and outgoing calls. I called the number and it was for VIP Communication. Asked around and it is used to call international. I became suspicious and I installed the software that another poster used. WOW! Found he too is married. All along he was assuring that he wanted to marry me. So you can imagine my hurt when I found out he was already married. He was using me to get a job and to save to get his wife and three children here. I could not believe what I read. I was so into this man, I was trying so hard to make this work. I started learning Yoruba and cooking African dishes to please this man. I started snooping, found birth certificate with the woman name as the mother with his last name. I emailed her and told her the entire story; she simply clicked forward and sent the email to him. I simply deleted the email out of his account (I have access to his email account). That didn’t make a difference because on his daily calls to her, she told him. That’s when I knew it was time to let him know what I knew. He said, that they were not married it’s considered a traditional marriage; don’t know what that mean but I wasn’t falling for it. No more “lost in translation”. I began collecting information I needed to sue him for money invested, receipts, credit card bills, etc. I have his alien number, driver’s license, social security and immigration number. Before I put my Timberlands on and kicked him to the curb, I gave him an invoice of all expenses incurred. He laughed and told me that I was careless, I turned that laugh upside down when I starting calling off all those numbers from memory. To let him know he is more careless than I will ever be. You see, it was a joke and all for own personal gain or should I say selfish gain. I drew up a promissory note for him to sign stating what he owed, when payments should be made each month. The promissory note was in conjunction with the invoice. He stated, that not a court in the US would make him re-pay me for expenses incurred, well for one week he was homeless, he and his luggage were placed on the stairway. Do I regret it, never? He been gone now for one month today and told me yesterday that his time with me was wasted. I laughed because I have something he need and he’s not getting it. Someone on the other post said that the wife may not care as long as she can come to America. Well she didn’t.

My story is different from Idocare but similar. I cared deeply for this man but his motive was to get my friends and myself to help him get a “good” job, so that he could bring his family over. Could never figure out why her name was not on his application or the children for the DV lottery. I’ve heard a lot of horror stories about people doing anything to get a green card but this man has his green card. Yet he is a lying, cheating scoundrel. My daily calls from him are so amusing now. He tells me that I tried to destroy him, what? Guess he said that because I emailed the “misses”. Shouldn’t be cheating. He called me one day, 15 times on my job. The last voicemail was a threat, had to get the police involved although he’s more than 1500 miles from me now, you never know. . The next day after the threat, he called begging me to forgive him that he was annoyed. Now that I don’t answer his call, he leaves a voicemail asking why I won’t talk to him, what’s wrong with me (why something has to be wrong with me)? Not once has the man recognized the pain I am feeling or felt it was all about him. He even stated that I shouldn’t ask him for reimbursement of the expenses because we are friends. No, we were friends is what I told him. Is this man crazy or am I missing something. He also wrote in one of his email to his brother, that “Americans are good if you can handle them”. Guess he couldn’t handle me. Think about that statements lady, “We are good if they can handle us”. You know I am beet red, from even repeating what he wrote. The poster that recommended that software was on the money, I didn’t invoice him for the software that one was on me. I am open for questions, I am sure there will be some from reading all the other information posted on the website. I never went through the process of petitioning for anyone and for what I’ve read and experienced first hand I won’t. I am basically a positive person and I am not trying to discourage you ladies from your journey. Just be careful please. I’ve met a wonderful man from Paris (has dual citizenship) and I don’t have to petition for him. But I will have both eyes open. Limit yourself on what you say regarding your personal life, all personal information place under lock and key. Not to say don’t trust, just be cautious. My so-called friend could quote the Bible and kneel to pray at the drop of a dime but would get on the internet and email his wife, get in the bed with me and try to “sex me up”. I am weary when a man can kneel to pray and then get up and pecker is hard as Japanese arithmetic. Gotta close ladies, I do pray that the men you have chosen are also the men that God has chosen for you. Keep God closer. Please excuse any errors, I am human.

[Tsup2 0]

I was attending church this past Sunday and we had a Nigerian Priest say the mass. He spoke of his Archdiocese in Nigeria that had a school that sponsored free education for poor children. Then a second collection was taken for this cause. I couldn't help but think that it may have been a scam. I didnt donate. He said that it cost $1,000 a year to educate a child there. I thought that was an excessive amount for a third world country. It's also a sad statement that I cant fully trust a Priest any more when I go to mass.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

Thank you for posting. Your time and efforts are appreciated. It has been a while, that I had not heard from you. I am glad you are sharing again.

[Enlighten one :) 5]

When you give with pure intention to GOD or in GOD's view, doesn't matter where the money really goes.

I was attending church this past Sunday and we had a Nigerian Priest say the mass. He spoke of his Archdiocese in Nigeria that had a school that sponsored free education for poor children. Then a second collection was taken for this cause. I couldn't help but think that it may have been a scam. I didnt donate. He said that it cost $1,000 a year to educate a child there. I thought that was an excessive amount for a third world country. It's also a sad statement that I cant fully trust a Priest any more when I go to mass.

[MaRob 0]

Even though I am married to a Cameroonian, I am highly suspicious of most other women's relationships with africans... funny huh? Just because I have a successful one, doesn't mean I recommend it...

[Truth be Told 0]

I'm one of the old school members here on VJ. I brought to this country ( the USA ) and married a Nigerian man back in 2004. I got pregnant 3-weeks of his arrival here, our son Victor Obinna Ezike Jr was the only joy that would come out of our union. I still can't understand why his father would name our son after himself then cut a total fool to leave his son behind. My guess is when you want a GC so bad you'll do anything to get one, even if it means marrying someone you have zero intentions of staying with.

As I promised myself to post on this forum from time to time of my experience here I sit, and here we go; first to those that take offense simply don't read any farther and NO, I won't be defending my post. Some on here have become unofficial experts of my feelings and thoughts, and too you I say save your energy for your own approaching storm.

What really get me to this day is that many people that are going thru this visa journey already knows of someone that has been used for a GC or is currently being used for one but for some reason they think that it won't be the case with their alien spouse. I once read on this site in a thread where a women that was born and raised in Nigeria responded to a thread; she wrote that 98% ( can't remember her exact quote but it was in the nineties ) of marriages from Nigeria to US citizens are fraudulent, ofcourse she caught alot of heat from mad posters for her statement and way too many people trying to justiy their relationships with these fiances and husbands that they barely spent time with. Lets be for real a moment, most of us have spent less then one year physically with our (soon to be ) spouse. My neighbor from Uganda told me that in her country they have people employed to chat online and match up people wanting to come to America, they then pass that information over to whom hired them to meet an american online for marriage. Once the American commits, then their job is done. Then your actually dealing with the person your gonna marry.

I went to Nigeria the first time back in 2003, I was too scared to really site see plus my then fiance had to work alot, he had 2-jobs at 2 different hospitals and being that I'm in the medical field also, me going to work with him was right up my alley. I enjoyed watching him take care of his patients, going and getting report from the attending doctor he was relieving and just watching the way they handled their patients there in Lagos. ( totally different from America ) I was very grateful that God watched over me while I was there, no robbers came in the still of the night nor was there any problems of anyone trying to bring harm my way. ( To keep it real one run in with security at the airport while walking to his car, I now think he sat that up tho.) As you all know there are many alert warnings about traveling to Africa.

I believe that many Americans that choose to marry a Alien are strong willed middle to low class Americans, many still in school getting their Masters ( or lower ) degree. But these Americans are very strong willed. They have little to none experience concerning immigration nor the people from other countries. They don't know that many people in third world countries (educated, sucessful, married within their country ) have a desire to get to American no matter whom they hurt in the process. They don't know how easy it is for them to purchase fraudulent papers saying anything they want it to say. But in confidence they're Alien have told them just as my ex-husband has mentioned it to me. But again the confession of love from them tends to shade us Americans. They have a way of getting us to think that they're sharing their countries corruption with us so our relationship is legit with them.

I spent only 6-days in Nigeria the first visit, I was already won over but had to go so that we could say that we met in person. We talked on the phone alot, ofcourse it was me calling alot, he called me approx. 3-times a month give or take, but I was the aggressor once he professed his love for me.

For some reason I was under the inpression that he was poor, that he didn't have the means to call, ofcourse I didn't know that calling the states isn't an expensive call, it took me going there and calling my kids back here to understand that. ( plus he's a medical doctor there )

Many of us feel or are manipulated into thinking that once we meet these Aliens that we have to take care of them, I say stop that RIGHT NOW , ask yourself how were they survifing before you met them, and they had money to chat with you then, so you shouldn't have to be paying their way now. Unless your looking for a dependent husband/wife, because believe it or not, the way you treat them now is the way that they and their family is gonna expect you to continue to treat them, so for that family, don't provide unless you intend to continue providing. For all of you that have been to Nigeria we all know that most of the people there charge you for services based on what they feel you can pay. My then fiance would send the housekeeper from his work ( we lived at Bob Specialist Hospital where he lived in a one room provided for him) to get our eggs and tomatoes each morning cause according to him, they would charge me more once hearing my accent and knowing that I wasen't Nigerian.

Okay so much to tell but my son is preventing me from telling it cause he wants my time, but my caution is to all the newbies here, if you think you have found gold by finding a Alien , please take time to get to know that person. Many of us Americans are good hard working people that aren't aware of the manipulaion and lies that exist in a third world country, we don't know how bad many want to come to America nor what their willing to do to get here. I know that my ex-husband used me for American benefits and I'm stilll working to prove that I was not an abrusive spouse. It's funny how our goverment works, they take a Amercan citizen that has a clean record and believe someone from from a corrupt country and allows that person to tarnish their name.

My caution to all you at the beginning of your visa process is to live in your fiance's country before marrying them, you have to realize that your not dealing with your average joe just looking to get laid.

For those that have brought men here and now going thru hard times, please feel free to e-mail me, there are precautions that you can take if you realize u have been used. I'm willing to work with you. With dealing with my own situation I now know some things you can do to combat their many lies.

My son turned 3 this month, his Father, living in this same community has not seen him since he was one years old, but then , I now know he didn't come here to have a baby, but hey , a baby is solid proof of having a relationship with his spouse. So why not ??? If you don't put yourself in the mind frame of someone from a third world country, you will end up just as I did, but posting your story to help others is on you, I know many that have been used for American benefits don't post, they are just glad to get that abrusive person away from them, but that's not helping the cause. We Americans that fought so hard to get our Alien spouse's here must fight equally hard to let immigration know of the scams that we experienced. For professional people getting here thru marriage the I-360 seems to be their way of choice of leaving their American spouse, please become familiar with this I-360.

For the moderators, please allow my thread due to the fact that I'm sharing information concerning the Sub Sarharn, no where on this site does it say it has to be happy and positive. I admit that what I wrote is true so just let it ride.

To the newbies take heed, lest you bring a person here that means you MO good. This is my story, is much of it that I can write for now. As I said feel free to e-mail me, but if you met an Alien thru the internet and it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

I'm thankful for having Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. I was over 40 when he was born, my ex-husband was still in his thirties, I hear that they are groomed and well studied on American immigration way before they come here, but again that's something they won't share with you especially if their intent is to leave you once they get their greencard.

To make a long story short, my ex-husband wanted to leave and there wasen't anything I could do or say to keep him here with me, I lost once I signed for the adjustment of statis, he was then able to scam his way from there. Please e-mail me and I'll tell you the signs to look out for as well as what to do to combat their defense against you.

I think that you are just angry and bitter, you THOUGHT you had nabbed yourself a DR you had visions of the good life but he figured out what a crazy hot mess you are and he left before you could get your meat hooks all the way in him this is for you GOLD DIGGER...

[stevi1123 0]

I was attending church this past Sunday and we had a Nigerian Priest say the mass. He spoke of his Archdiocese in Nigeria that had a school that sponsored free education for poor children. Then a second collection was taken for this cause. I couldn't help but think that it may have been a scam. I didnt donate. He said that it cost $1,000 a year to educate a child there. I thought that was an excessive amount for a third world country. It's also a sad statement that I cant fully trust a Priest any more when I go to mass.

It also could have been totally legitimate. More than likely, it was.

Edited June 17, 2008 by stevi1123

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I'm one of the old school members here on VJ. I brought to this country ( the USA ) and married a Nigerian man back in 2004. I got pregnant 3-weeks of his arrival here, our son Victor Obinna Ezike Jr was the only joy that would come out of our union. I still can't understand why his father would name our son after himself then cut a total fool to leave his son behind. My guess is when you want a GC so bad you'll do anything to get one, even if it means marrying someone you have zero intentions of staying with.

As I promised myself to post on this forum from time to time of my experience here I sit, and here we go; first to those that take offense simply don't read any farther and NO, I won't be defending my post. Some on here have become unofficial experts of my feelings and thoughts, and too you I say save your energy for your own approaching storm.

What really get me to this day is that many people that are going thru this visa journey already knows of someone that has been used for a GC or is currently being used for one but for some reason they think that it won't be the case with their alien spouse. I once read on this site in a thread where a women that was born and raised in Nigeria responded to a thread; she wrote that 98% ( can't remember her exact quote but it was in the nineties ) of marriages from Nigeria to US citizens are fraudulent, ofcourse she caught alot of heat from mad posters for her statement and way too many people trying to justiy their relationships with these fiances and husbands that they barely spent time with. Lets be for real a moment, most of us have spent less then one year physically with our (soon to be ) spouse. My neighbor from Uganda told me that in her country they have people employed to chat online and match up people wanting to come to America, they then pass that information over to whom hired them to meet an american online for marriage. Once the American commits, then their job is done. Then your actually dealing with the person your gonna marry.

I went to Nigeria the first time back in 2003, I was too scared to really site see plus my then fiance had to work alot, he had 2-jobs at 2 different hospitals and being that I'm in the medical field also, me going to work with him was right up my alley. I enjoyed watching him take care of his patients, going and getting report from the attending doctor he was relieving and just watching the way they handled their patients there in Lagos. ( totally different from America ) I was very grateful that God watched over me while I was there, no robbers came in the still of the night nor was there any problems of anyone trying to bring harm my way. ( To keep it real one run in with security at the airport while walking to his car, I now think he sat that up tho.) As you all know there are many alert warnings about traveling to Africa.

I believe that many Americans that choose to marry a Alien are strong willed middle to low class Americans, many still in school getting their Masters ( or lower ) degree. But these Americans are very strong willed. They have little to none experience concerning immigration nor the people from other countries. They don't know that many people in third world countries (educated, sucessful, married within their country ) have a desire to get to American no matter whom they hurt in the process. They don't know how easy it is for them to purchase fraudulent papers saying anything they want it to say. But in confidence they're Alien have told them just as my ex-husband has mentioned it to me. But again the confession of love from them tends to shade us Americans. They have a way of getting us to think that they're sharing their countries corruption with us so our relationship is legit with them.

I spent only 6-days in Nigeria the first visit, I was already won over but had to go so that we could say that we met in person. We talked on the phone alot, ofcourse it was me calling alot, he called me approx. 3-times a month give or take, but I was the aggressor once he professed his love for me.

For some reason I was under the inpression that he was poor, that he didn't have the means to call, ofcourse I didn't know that calling the states isn't an expensive call, it took me going there and calling my kids back here to understand that. ( plus he's a medical doctor there )

Many of us feel or are manipulated into thinking that once we meet these Aliens that we have to take care of them, I say stop that RIGHT NOW , ask yourself how were they survifing before you met them, and they had money to chat with you then, so you shouldn't have to be paying their way now. Unless your looking for a dependent husband/wife, because believe it or not, the way you treat them now is the way that they and their family is gonna expect you to continue to treat them, so for that family, don't provide unless you intend to continue providing. For all of you that have been to Nigeria we all know that most of the people there charge you for services based on what they feel you can pay. My then fiance would send the housekeeper from his work ( we lived at Bob Specialist Hospital where he lived in a one room provided for him) to get our eggs and tomatoes each morning cause according to him, they would charge me more once hearing my accent and knowing that I wasen't Nigerian.

Okay so much to tell but my son is preventing me from telling it cause he wants my time, but my caution is to all the newbies here, if you think you have found gold by finding a Alien , please take time to get to know that person. Many of us Americans are good hard working people that aren't aware of the manipulaion and lies that exist in a third world country, we don't know how bad many want to come to America nor what their willing to do to get here. I know that my ex-husband used me for American benefits and I'm stilll working to prove that I was not an abrusive spouse. It's funny how our goverment works, they take a Amercan citizen that has a clean record and believe someone from from a corrupt country and allows that person to tarnish their name.

My caution to all you at the beginning of your visa process is to live in your fiance's country before marrying them, you have to realize that your not dealing with your average joe just looking to get laid.

For those that have brought men here and now going thru hard times, please feel free to e-mail me, there are precautions that you can take if you realize u have been used. I'm willing to work with you. With dealing with my own situation I now know some things you can do to combat their many lies.

My son turned 3 this month, his Father, living in this same community has not seen him since he was one years old, but then , I now know he didn't come here to have a baby, but hey , a baby is solid proof of having a relationship with his spouse. So why not ??? If you don't put yourself in the mind frame of someone from a third world country, you will end up just as I did, but posting your story to help others is on you, I know many that have been used for American benefits don't post, they are just glad to get that abrusive person away from them, but that's not helping the cause. We Americans that fought so hard to get our Alien spouse's here must fight equally hard to let immigration know of the scams that we experienced. For professional people getting here thru marriage the I-360 seems to be their way of choice of leaving their American spouse, please become familiar with this I-360.

For the moderators, please allow my thread due to the fact that I'm sharing information concerning the Sub Sarharn, no where on this site does it say it has to be happy and positive. I admit that what I wrote is true so just let it ride.

To the newbies take heed, lest you bring a person here that means you MO good. This is my story, is much of it that I can write for now. As I said feel free to e-mail me, but if you met an Alien thru the internet and it seems too good to be true, it probably isn't true.

I'm thankful for having Victor Obinna Ezike Jr. I was over 40 when he was born, my ex-husband was still in his thirties, I hear that they are groomed and well studied on American immigration way before they come here, but again that's something they won't share with you especially if their intent is to leave you once they get their greencard.

To make a long story short, my ex-husband wanted to leave and there wasen't anything I could do or say to keep him here with me, I lost once I signed for the adjustment of statis, he was then able to scam his way from there. Please e-mail me and I'll tell you the signs to look out for as well as what to do to combat their defense against you.

idocare,

I hear what you're saying and I respect your opinion/experience, I believe the number that is quoted nationally is 99% of African's who are engaged to American/foriegn women are scammer's (I don't necessarily believe that but nonetheless, I believe that is the number quoted). I am engaged to a Nigerian and am knee deep in the visa process but I'm also the owner of a group who helps victims of African scams. I knew about 419/romance scams long before I met my fiance' and I will be the first person to say that I was skeptical based on his orgin. I'm fortunate enough to have had the resources available to assure my fiance' is not amoung what I consider the large percentage of African's searching for love on the internet (I don't agree with the 99% because I believe that is 99% of African's looking for love on the internet) . I won't/don't try and justify my relationship as mine is a strong, loving, forever relationship but..... I deal with men and women every single day that are being scammed not just for money but for visa's also from Africa. I must point out though that the problem is much more widespread than Africa. I lived in the Philippines for two years and I can tell you that visa scams are just as common over there as they are in Africa, same thing in Russia and even more recently other countries.

My point is this.... a person can be scammed right here in their own country.... I dated an American guy one time that was trying to do just that.... I don't believe it's about where a person is from but about the character of the person. As much as I deal with African scammer's I'm not bitter about it.... I don't agree with it, don't approve of it, wish I could stop it but.... we can't until our government get's involved. What I say to people is this...... get to know, investigate, check out, research, question and come to a place that you can trust this person with your life.... regardless of where they are from. If your instincts tell you something is not right... it's probably not! Trust them and take appropriate action. But do take action.

I've been to Africa a couple of times, I've talked to not only scammer's but normal everyday, hardworking people and I can tell you that the scammer's really are the minority there. I know it seems like it's the other way around but it's really not! I've been to the cafe's, I have meet with the EFCC in Nigeria, the CID in Ghana, I'm clear on how big the problem is and trust me.... if anyone wants to do something about it, it's me! I have members in my group that have lost their homes, their children, their jobs, you can't even imagine but.... we have to take responsibility for oiur decisions and I can tell you that 99% of the time, these men and women had warning sings.

All I'm saying and obviously saying it in too many words is this.... if you are a single person, you need to be careful, aware, check things out and then check them again but most importantly.... you need to be clear that if it seems to good to be true..... it most certainly IS! My fiance' is not perfect in fact he flat pisses me off sometimes.... that's the way it works in a real relationship. WE have a responsibility to ourselves to follow our instincts. This is the same advice I give my 21 year old daughter and my friends.

Thanks for posting and for showing people how some people can be.

hugs,

tess

[Truth be Told 0]

Idocare

I noticed from posts past (example: your sons first birthday thread) that you were good friends with many here on VJ, now they have abandoned you...is that because of the wicked web that you weave? Many of those people have long since left VJ and moved on with your lives. You are still here scaring newbies and pissing off the seasoned VJ members. If you are sooooooooo concerned with your story and getting it out there so other people are not "victimized" why not call Dr Phil, go on national TV and REALLY get your message heard. Whats the problem? are you worried about the "skeletons" that are in your closet? Afraid of what Dr Phils team might dig up about this situation? All you do is BLAH BLAH BLAH about how much you want to help people. If you REALLY mean that call Dr Phil and let him air your story...what have YOU got to hide??

Peace

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Idocare

I noticed from posts past (example: your sons first birthday thread) that you were good friends with many here on VJ, now they have abandoned you...is that because of the wicked web that you weave? Many of those people have long since left VJ and moved on with your lives. You are still here scaring newbies and pissing off the seasoned VJ members. If you are sooooooooo concerned with your story and getting it out there so other people are not "victimized" why not call Dr Phil, go on national TV and REALLY get your message heard. Whats the problem? are you worried about the "skeletons" that are in your closet? Afraid of what Dr Phils team might dig up about this situation? All you do is BLAH BLAH BLAH about how much you want to help people. If you REALLY mean that call Dr Phil and let him air your story...what have YOU got to hide??

Peace

Good point. I have a number of people who can be contacted to hear a persons story and believe me... they publish them which is awsesome!

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Even though I am married to a Cameroonian, I am highly suspicious of most other women's relationships with africans... funny huh? Just because I have a successful one, doesn't mean I recommend it...

How nice for you, your own special brand of DISCRIMINATION, do you plan to market that to others? Does your African husband know about your DISCRIMITORY side?