FINITO!

[camifree 2]

Dear all,

Some of you have probably seen my posts as "cami&josh". Well, I left him a month ago for many reasons, although lack of love was not part of them, at least not from me.

This is something I wrote, so you will understand how I feel right now:

"MANIFESTUS FEMINAE

Tuesday, May 27, 2008 at 11:46pm

I do not need my man to do my laundry, run my bills or make breakfast. I can hire a maid and an accountant for that. I want a man that can sit on the couch with me, have some coffee and talk about other topics that are not work, house chores or weather. I said "I want", not "I need". I do not need anyone but myself. Would it yet be nice to have someone to share the end of my day? Yes.

I like movies, theater, music, fine arts, literature, baseball, soccer, tennis, golf, animals, swimming, traveling, drinking caipirinhas and Irish ales, having friends for dinner, dancing, I speak, read and write in 3 languages, and I can read and understand 4 more, I know people around the world, I am Catholic and so is my family, I am Lebanese and Latina, I have thousands of stories to tell, I cook deliciously, I am beautiful and exotic, I love sex and I know I am good at it, I have a perfect skin and I am clean and healthy, I do not have cavities, I do not wear sloppy shorts, tees and old flip-flops in the summer, I know how to dress, I have a wide pelvis, which Van Gogh considered a sign of being able to give birth to many children, I am a hard worker (even if my work is more intellectual than physical), I love the beach, I love different foods and styles, I always tell the truth even if it means problems.

I know there are plenty of negative things about me, but honestly... E-Harmony would not reject me, and that is a lot to say... Actually, I started not rejecting myself and realizing what a wonderful universe I hide.

I am on the quest for the Holy Grail of my nucleus.

I am independent from other people's freedom and choice.

I am what I do.

And I do.

And I transcend.

And I will be immortal.

Ditto.-"

So I am moving to another state. I have to remove conditions of my greencard this year and I am working on it since Maryland does not grant divorce but after 12 months of separation. I am taking my car, my dog, my personal items and decoration items from my country. I also take a terrible credit history thanks to my intelligent spouse. But I am not scared. If I have to leave the USA, I will leave it with a lot of dignity and my maiden name. I don't want to have his name anymore, even if we are still legally married. Because I came here for HIM, because I loved HIM... I did not love the USA because I prefer to be the head of a mouse than the tail of a lion.

In conclusion, and after sharing this with you, I will welcome any tips, suggestions, details to which I should pay attention, etc.

Thank you very much for reading a piece of my soul.

Camila.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Hmm well...

Have you guys talked about this? Sorry you can't work it out....

A man that does laundry, makes you breakfast and pays the bills....what a loser!

I wish you luck wherever your life leads you.

[Ban Hammer 13,330]

:blink: :blink:

[DanielParul 50]

All the best Edited June 16, 2008 by DanielParul

[camifree 2]

Hmm well...

Have you guys talked about this? Sorry you can't work it out....

A man that does laundry, makes you breakfast and pays the bills....what a loser!

I don't know whether this comment was sarcastic, but just so it stays clear: It is very nice (and fair) that couples share house chores, of course, but he

"overtook" his tasks and made them his way to tell me that he´s the perfect husband.

I am NO ONE to say he is not. But it is not for me. I know that I also have a big chunk of responsibility in all this, but I don't think that we're the first (neither the last) couple ending up like this.

"HAY SOLO UN PASO DEL AMOR AL DESAMOR"

[ziia 9]

I am not 100% sure but you might be able to change your name back in the court, at the time when the divorce will be pronunced. Ask the judge or if you'll have a mediator, you can ask him/her. If you don't participate at the divorce, you can probly change the also by bringing your birth certificate, marriage license and divorce paprers when it's time to change your documents(driver license, passport, etc.). Best of luck, i admire you and your dignity and currage

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Hmm well...

Have you guys talked about this? Sorry you can't work it out....

A man that does laundry, makes you breakfast and pays the bills....what a loser!

I don't know whether this comment was sarcastic, but just so it stays clear: It is very nice (and fair) that couples share house chores, of course, but he

"overtook" his tasks and made them his way to tell me that he´s the perfect husband.

I am NO ONE to say he is not. But it is not for me. I know that I also have a big chunk of responsibility in all this, but I don't think that we're the first (neither the last) couple ending up like this.

"HAY SOLO UN PASO DEL AMOR AL DESAMOR"

To be honest...yes, I was being sarcastic.

Do whatever you need to do....Nothing makes anyone happy these days...a husband that does nothing and a husband that does too much.

It's just sad that's all.

Best of luck to you.

[Ban Hammer 13,330]

Do whatever you need to do....Nothing makes anyone happy these days...a husband that does nothing and a husband that does too much.

and people wonder why men die first.

[pushbrk 12,872]

You may file to remove conditions as soon as the divorce is final. You'll need to convince USCIS you entered into the marriage in good faith. They understand you can marry in good faith and still have "chunk of responsibility" for the failure of the marriage.

[bora bora 1]

Hmm well...

Have you guys talked about this? Sorry you can't work it out....

A man that does laundry, makes you breakfast and pays the bills....what a loser!

I don't know whether this comment was sarcastic, but just so it stays clear: It is very nice (and fair) that couples share house chores, of course, but he

"overtook" his tasks and made them his way to tell me that he´s the perfect husband.

I am NO ONE to say he is not. But it is not for me. I know that I also have a big chunk of responsibility in all this, but I don't think that we're the first (neither the last) couple ending up like this.

"HAY SOLO UN PASO DEL AMOR AL DESAMOR"

To be honest...yes, I was being sarcastic.

Do whatever you need to do....Nothing makes anyone happy these days...a husband that does nothing and a husband that does too much.

It's just sad that's all.

Best of luck to you.

So I guess if my husband does just right I'm ok? Phew....

[Vi Mazzella 4]

Girl I have to say that I LOVE WHAT YOU WROTE, good luck y mucha BUENA VIBRA.

Vi Mazzella

[camifree 2]

Gracias Vi Mazzella...

Thanks for the answers regarding the name change. And for the removal of conditions, I know I can still do it even when I'm not with him anymore. The problem is that because we got married in MD, this state won't grant divorce but after a year of separation. So I've done some research, and apparently, USCIS can give me an extension of my current status until I have the divorce papers; then I can remove the conditions.

Being a husband is not about being a maid. I like to take care of my house too. I have worked since I got my EAD, and before that, I brought all my savings to help him pay for bills, mortgage, groceries, etc. He never included me in the mortgage title, and he just told me (5 minutes ago) on the phone that he didn't do it because it would have raise the rate. That after SWEARING he had tried and that the company had not done anything. So I have been paying $500 per month for 2 years and a half for a house that isn't mine, and worse, I don't even have a "lease agreement" that would keep my credit floating. When I bought my car, I needed him to be my co-signer because I had not enough credit. I have made those payments on my own; he has not put a penny on them. Now that I tell him to pay at least half of it until my credit gets a bit on its feet and I can refinance it by myself, he tells me that he'll take the car or that he'll hire a lawyer. He also said, as the top cherry, that I came here planning on leaving him:

Before I met him, I had an awesome job in Venezuela. I was a manager at the French Chamber of Commerce. I had friends, I had my family, I had my place, I had my car, I had 40 pounds less and I didn't have to take cymbalta. Yes, I came here to take advantage of a high school teacher who lives in a white trash Baltimore neighborhood, with hookers and junkies across the street. Yes, I stopped hanging out with diplomats, enjoying my social life and level, my organic (and affordable) food and wonderful weather... just to leave him.

That's the jewel I married. Sc.... the GC. This is not the only country in the world.

[rika60607 215]

Your manifesto is beautiful!

You'll get through...

[Ban Hammer 13,330]

He never included me in the mortgage title, and he just told me (5 minutes ago) on the phone that he didn't do it because it would have raise the rate. That after SWEARING he had tried and that the company had not done anything.

just food for thought on that regarding the mortgage:

i went thru the same deal with my mortage company. the house is a 5.5% fixed rate, and citimortgage told me the only way to get nessa on the loan was to refinance, i.e. spend about 5k to do so plus i'd wind up with a higher rate as interest rates have risen since the house was purchased in 2003. and given my dealings on the phone with "bob" in india who answers the phone for citimortgage, i can understand that he probably got the run around.

end result - i passed up putting nessa on the loan and did a transfer on death deed, which is filed at the courthouse where the house will automatically transfer to her should i pass away prior to paying off the house. there is also plenty of life insurance to pay off the house in case of that event.

nessa and i have discussed things and after the house is paid off, provided i'm alive, we'll redo the title and get her name on it.

[carpe diem 2]

Gracias Vi Mazzella...

Thanks for the answers regarding the name change. And for the removal of conditions, I know I can still do it even when I'm not with him anymore. The problem is that because we got married in MD, this state won't grant divorce but after a year of separation. So I've done some research, and apparently, USCIS can give me an extension of my current status until I have the divorce papers; then I can remove the conditions.

Being a husband is not about being a maid. I like to take care of my house too. I have worked since I got my EAD, and before that, I brought all my savings to help him pay for bills, mortgage, groceries, etc. He never included me in the mortgage title, and he just told me (5 minutes ago) on the phone that he didn't do it because it would have raise the rate. That after SWEARING he had tried and that the company had not done anything. So I have been paying $500 per month for 2 years and a half for a house that isn't mine, and worse, I don't even have a "lease agreement" that would keep my credit floating. When I bought my car, I needed him to be my co-signer because I had not enough credit. I have made those payments on my own; he has not put a penny on them. Now that I tell him to pay at least half of it until my credit gets a bit on its feet and I can refinance it by myself, he tells me that he'll take the car or that he'll hire a lawyer. He also said, as the top cherry, that I came here planning on leaving him:

Before I met him, I had an awesome job in Venezuela. I was a manager at the French Chamber of Commerce. I had friends, I had my family, I had my place, I had my car, I had 40 pounds less and I didn't have to take cymbalta. Yes, I came here to take advantage of a high school teacher who lives in a white trash Baltimore neighborhood, with hookers and junkies across the street. Yes, I stopped hanging out with diplomats, enjoying my social life and level, my organic (and affordable) food and wonderful weather... just to leave him.

That's the jewel I married. Sc.... the GC. This is not the only country in the world.

All I will say is that I have a hell of a lot more admiration and respect for someone who chooses to be an underpaid high school teacher, especially if he/she teaches children in a poor neighborhood, than for a manager at a chamber of commerce who views hanging out with diplomats as a major perk.

(As I don't intend to offend others who work at a chamber of commerce I should add that I generally also hold teachers in higher regards than members my own profession-- I don't mean to put down the OP's job but have a problem with the condescending tone of her posts when describing her husband and her surroundings here.)