I am sick...

[ED*Riza 0]

I am glad that you can have your vacation soon in canada.. God bless you and your family..

[Mrs. BB 0]

Congrats!! Have a wonderful time and take lots of pictures!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am so glad that it all worked out. What a big jerk. Enjoy your holiday!

[eau_xplain 2]

Yay!! Glad you got the letter Karen!!

Hope y'all will have a wonderful trip!!

[Ontarkie 14,143]

I'm glad you got the letter and he didnt ruin your trip.

Have a great time.

[jundp 191]

Ditto everyone else's good wishes!

[Carlawarla 1]

I've been away more than a few days Karen, so I'm just reading this thread now. I'm so glad things worked out for you. So sorry you, AND your family have to go through this. It truly impacts on everyone. Enjoy your trip!

[hailee_marie 0]

I am going through this right now too. Me and my fiancee are applying for our K1 and my ex (never married) is refusing to sign the childrens passports (6yrs and 3yrs old) and refusing to give me consent to move with them. I have a court order that states :

1.The Applicant (me) shall have custody of the children.

2. The respondant (him) shall have reasonable access to the children upon reasonable notice.

So because he is so unwilling to compromise with me I filed a motion to change our current court order to states:

1. The applicant shall have sole custody of the children and the children shall reside with her in the United States.

2. The applicant can travel with said children without the consent of non-custodial parent only providing him notice of travel

3. The respondant shall have visitation during summer holidays and major holidays. Both parties shall be equally responsible for any costs in regards to travel of the children back and forth.

Maybe once you get back from your vacation apply to change your court order if you have one. That way you dont need his consent and his ignorance of giving you a hassle everytime you want to travel and upsetting your child is nice evidence against him. I dont understand why some people who call themselves adults act in a childish manner.

My first court date is July 9th hopefully he comes to his senses and in mediation will agree to this as I am trying to be as accomidating and I am only moving 8 hr drive from where I live now.

I told him once that i dont need his consent to move within Canada so I could move to freaking Halifax which is further then where I am moving now ... he is just a miserable man and does not want me to be happy.

He does not want custody of the kids never has just thinks he has the right to control my life for the rest of my life.

Edited June 18, 2008 by hailee_marie

[KarenCee 3]

I am going through this right now too. Me and my fiancee are applying for our K1 and my ex (never married) is refusing to sign the childrens passports (6yrs and 3yrs old) and refusing to give me consent to move with them. I have a court order that states :

1.The Applicant (me) shall have custody of the children.

2. The respondant (him) shall have reasonable access to the children upon reasonable notice.

So because he is so unwilling to compromise with me I filed a motion to change our current court order to states:

1. The applicant shall have sole custody of the children and the children shall reside with her in the United States.

2. The applicant can travel with said children without the consent of non-custodial parent only providing him notice of travel

3. The respondant shall have visitation during summer holidays and major holidays. Both parties shall be equally responsible for any costs in regards to travel of the children back and forth.

Maybe once you get back from your vacation apply to change your court order if you have one. That way you dont need his consent and his ignorance of giving you a hassle everytime you want to travel and upsetting your child is nice evidence against him. I dont understand why some people who call themselves adults act in a childish manner.

My first court date is July 9th hopefully he comes to his senses and in mediation will agree to this as I am trying to be as accomidating and I am only moving 8 hr drive from where I live now.

I told him once that i dont need his consent to move within Canada so I could move to freaking Halifax which is further then where I am moving now ... he is just a miserable man and does not want me to be happy.

He does not want custody of the kids never has just thinks he has the right to control my life for the rest of my life.

^^^^ is the PRECISE reason I am having the issues with my ex that I do. In my situation, we *have* to share joint custody since we were married. Our divorce decree states that all I have to do is inform him of her travel itinerary. The issue is at the border, and I truly understand this as so many children *are* abducted. I would never do this b/c regardless of how I feel about the jerk, my daughter loves her dad...and I've never tried to change that. He does see her on his scheduled weekends and pays child support so in that regard he is active. As for all the other aspects of her life, he doesn't involve himself...and I only live 90 minutes away.

A court order seems to be the only way to go for me...and I hate it...but I don't EVER want to see my daughter cry the way she did when I told her we might not be going to visit Grand-Mére and Grand-Pére without the paper her dad has to sign. *sigh*

I hope things work out positively for you and your children. Miserable people can make life sooooo difficult for everyone else around them.

[hailee_marie 0]

I am going through this right now too. Me and my fiancee are applying for our K1 and my ex (never married) is refusing to sign the childrens passports (6yrs and 3yrs old) and refusing to give me consent to move with them. I have a court order that states :

1.The Applicant (me) shall have custody of the children.

2. The respondant (him) shall have reasonable access to the children upon reasonable notice.

So because he is so unwilling to compromise with me I filed a motion to change our current court order to states:

1. The applicant shall have sole custody of the children and the children shall reside with her in the United States.

2. The applicant can travel with said children without the consent of non-custodial parent only providing him notice of travel

3. The respondant shall have visitation during summer holidays and major holidays. Both parties shall be equally responsible for any costs in regards to travel of the children back and forth.

Maybe once you get back from your vacation apply to change your court order if you have one. That way you dont need his consent and his ignorance of giving you a hassle everytime you want to travel and upsetting your child is nice evidence against him. I dont understand why some people who call themselves adults act in a childish manner.

My first court date is July 9th hopefully he comes to his senses and in mediation will agree to this as I am trying to be as accomidating and I am only moving 8 hr drive from where I live now.

I told him once that i dont need his consent to move within Canada so I could move to freaking Halifax which is further then where I am moving now ... he is just a miserable man and does not want me to be happy.

He does not want custody of the kids never has just thinks he has the right to control my life for the rest of my life.

^^^^ is the PRECISE reason I am having the issues with my ex that I do. In my situation, we *have* to share joint custody since we were married. Our divorce decree states that all I have to do is inform him of her travel itinerary. The issue is at the border, and I truly understand this as so many children *are* abducted. I would never do this b/c regardless of how I feel about the jerk, my daughter loves her dad...and I've never tried to change that. He does see her on his scheduled weekends and pays child support so in that regard he is active. As for all the other aspects of her life, he doesn't involve himself...and I only live 90 minutes away.

A court order seems to be the only way to go for me...and I hate it...but I don't EVER want to see my daughter cry the way she did when I told her we might not be going to visit Grand-Mére and Grand-Pére without the paper her dad has to sign. *sigh*

I hope things work out positively for you and your children. Miserable people can make life sooooo difficult for everyone else around them.

They dont seem to think how it is effecting the children and they are who matters most. I hope everything goes smoothly for you too. Court is so time consuming but you have to do what is best for you and your child and to lessen the stress of his antics ... you are not trying to keep him from the child you just want the right to travel and have your child experience life without the hassles. If they could only understand that ...

[Rachel Marie 0]

...IMO, your ex should get the b@lls to tell your daughter himself that he won't sign the papers. By seeing her reaction, maybe he can be convinced to let her go.

Effin' A, people are stupid.

[*julez* 124]

I just wanted to relate my experience in crossing into Canada via the Peace Bridge last October. Since I live in Buffalo, I frequently travel to Canada. We had rented a cottage in Crystal Beach, and when I first entered with my 3 kids we were only questioned about citizendship and allowed entry without question. The next day, I made a quick trip home with my 12 year old son. When we approached the border agent he asked specifically if I had permission from my ex to enter Canada with my son. I said I have sole custody, so don't need permission. He then asked for the divorce decree, which I hadn't thought to bring. *rats*

Then he asked my son who I was, who he lived with, whether he was travelling willingly with me and whether or not he was afraid to be travelling with me. After receiving satisfactory answers, he granted us entry.

A lesson lerned though! It hadn't even occurred to me to bring proof of custody since I have frequently traveled to Canada with my children without anyone batting an eye. I can tell you that I *always* travel with my divorce decree now.

I'm glad things worked out for you Karen! I, too, have a despicable ex, but am very fortunate that I have a permanent order of protection for my children and *never* need his permission to do anything with or for my kids. Its sad when parents use kids as bargaining chips, or to punish the other party. I hope your ex will not do this to you and Anna again. Neither of you deserve it!

Enjoy your trip!!!

Edited June 18, 2008 by *julez*

[KarenCee 3]

Thanks so much for the support When Anna's dad called her that afternoon (the same day he told me he was refusing to sign the consent) I had already told her that she would need to tell her father what she wants. He accuses me of implanting the idea in her head that she wants to go to Canada, that she loves it there, etc. *hmph* As if this child cannot think for herself! When she got off the phone she said her daddy would *think about it* and that I should stop telling her what he says. I say she's old enough to know what the deal is where this is concerned and old enough to speak her mind. I hate...HATE...manipulative people.

I have my folder of documents all ready to go with me: divorce decree, birth certificate, passport, and THE letter. As the AMEX commercial says..."never leave home without it"...those documents go with me EVERY TIME we travel.

[neiks 19]

guess my question is this: The part in red...since I *AM* her parent and I have primary physical custody, would I even NEED this document? I've had it before, and maybe it's at the discretion of the CBP, but I have always traveled with my divorce decree that states the child custody arrangements and travel requirements. I've emailed Neiks (can anyone suggest anyone else?) to ask if there's anything I can do to keep this from happening. God I am so sick....

Karen, so sorry, I did not receive your e-mail. I guess I have not updated it on VJ. I'm glad things worked out for you. The documents are not "needed" but are recommended. The experience of this poster is quit common:

I just wanted to relate my experience in crossing into Canada via the Peace Bridge last October. Since I live in Buffalo, I frequently travel to Canada. We had rented a cottage in Crystal Beach, and when I first entered with my 3 kids we were only questioned about citizendship and allowed entry without question. The next day, I made a quick trip home with my 12 year old son. When we approached the border agent he asked specifically if I had permission from my ex to enter Canada with my son. I said I have sole custody, so don't need permission. He then asked for the divorce decree, which I hadn't thought to bring. *rats*

Then he asked my son who I was, who he lived with, whether he was travelling willingly with me and whether or not he was afraid to be travelling with me. After receiving satisfactory answers, he granted us entry.

A lesson lerned though! It hadn't even occurred to me to bring proof of custody since I have frequently traveled to Canada with my children without anyone batting an eye. I can tell you that I *always* travel with my divorce decree now.

Basically, if we do have doubts and you are not carrying the recommended documentation then you may be subject to additional questions, we may request the phone number of the other parent and call them, or if the child is old enough we may question the child. Generally, we do not refuse anyone enty with their child unless there is clear indication that they are trying to flee with the child or if the custody agreement stipulates that the child can not leave the country.

[Ban Hammer 13,136]

interesting read. yeah, the ex is a chopfark and as another member said, amending the court ordered custody to sole custody may be the best option to prevent further instances of him being a jerk.