If you caught your man in a lie

[caybee 21]

I think my hubby sent me all of those internet love letters!!!!!! But he changed the names hahaha. I hated them after I found out but than I send him cards so ####### hahah

But at least with the cards, the recipient doesn't expect the words to be original.

I don't think the love letters alone are a huge thing if the sender struggles with the language and wants to say something beautiful. But coming on top of doubts that are already there, that can finish it off.

[tammy2688 1]

My lie story is also not of the dangerous kind, but heart bearking non the least.

In 2006 July we got married and I left August of 2006 to come back to US. A week after I came back I serious did not hear from him. I was like what?!?!?! Just got married, I had cried all the way on the plane back to home and he did no bother to call? or answer my calls? So i just about had it and i called. he sounded strange. well of coarse, the person who answered the phone was another family member. this guy told me my husband was on a business trip so he wasnt answering my calls. im like ya right...so i call him again next day and i get my husband and i kinda dont know what to say...im just like hey how are you? hes like im fine honey im just in the car with my boss..dat. dat..im likw what?? cause i heard no "car" sound. it was eerily quiet. Anyway he was sounding wierd but same loving way so i told him to have a good trip and come back soon. well he did "come back" soon, next day i call his voice sounds HORRIBLE hes like oh its nothing honey i just have a cold and i hear him moaning! i thought he was doing...i dont even know what..im like ok if you are sick i will stay with you on the phone. next day same way...next day same way...then next day he "slipped his tongue" and said he was gonna go eat his antibiotics but needs "help" from someone to get it so he was calling someone in the house to get him some water

now you guys have to know my husband is a very strong guy, and he is never lazy to ask for help with something like water or be moaning in agony for a cold.....i really was pretty d@mn confused.

Well..................the next day i found out everything. An hour into my flight, a truck crashed into his motorcycle as he was leaving the airport to go somewhere and he was thrown off his bike on the street. He could not feel his left leg and the the locals as well as his friends though he would die. The day I called on "business trip in boss'es car" he was in the hospital which explained the eerie silence.

The next day when he was moaning he had come home and was in bandages and extreme painkillers. The last day with antibiotics he was so messed up from pain he could not keep up his story. At that point I was screaming/cryin on the phone and I asked him why the f@ck he had to LIEEEEEEE for a whole week. he made me suspect my marriage, my trust, made me think he was out with other women, acting wierd, being unavailable the next day i leave him.....you guys can understand my turmoil. Now the new turmoil was, was he lying to me again, was he really going to be ok ro did they amputate his leg and hes in a wheelchair and hes not telling me? I told him i can never believe him now after this but he pleaded that he did it because he knew how much pain I was in throughout my visit because I would have to leave. He did not want to tell me the day after i return that he was in the hospital due to a severe motorcycle accident.

Now our communication is dramatically different. This time when i left him, I called from London and he was there. He did not try to disappear to hide the pain he was in either. He showed it like i told him to show it and he and i ar much closer with communication.

ALHAMDULILLAH - his leg has healed a lot and he can walk now normally. But I will never forget that lie that he said to save me from breaking down, that was almost breaking our relationship from my side.

Just need to be TRUTHFUL. If you are sick, hurt, poor, sad, broke, whatever. TELL US! We are good women here. We love all the imperfections and profess our love during the hardest of times. After all, that is when it REALLY counts, when you love during the hardest of times, doesn't it?

-Tammy

Edited June 13, 2008 by tammy2688

[Staashi 371]

Yeah Sara I think that might be what has happened (with my hubby) he just wanted to impress me too much. But I was/am so honest with him so it bites to find this stuff. I just (kiddingly) told him if he does not tell me everything I will divorce him and marry my last boyfriend, he is/bad but at least he is very honest and I know what he is hahaha

Olive...although my husband is from Argentina and not a MENA, I would never interject anything about previous men or husbands...that is like the kiss of death and the instigator of all jealousy. I just know that the word "kidding" is not in my husband's vocabulary and not in many foreign men's either.

Be careful what you say...it can really put you in a crazy situation.

[RAKASA 0]

Yeah Sara I think that might be what has happened (with my hubby) he just wanted to impress me too much. But I was/am so honest with him so it bites to find this stuff. I just (kiddingly) told him if he does not tell me everything I will divorce him and marry my last boyfriend, he is/bad but at least he is very honest and I know what he is hahaha

Olive...although my husband is from Argentina and not a MENA, I would never interject anything about previous men or husbands...that is like the kiss of death and the instigator of all jealousy. I just know that the word "kidding" is not in my husband's vocabulary and not in many foreign men's either.

Be careful what you say...it can really put you in a crazy situation.

[Martiniolive 0]

Good point, I am sorry now

[sarahaziz 0]

yeah girl lol i was like i can get 10 of you if i wanted when we had a really nasty fight when we were dating and oh my...I can't even explain the reaction I got but lets say it cured me from ever trying to purposely make him jealous or straighten up.

Everytime we're out in public after that when we're like holding hands i kiss his hand in my hand or something so he doesn't think I'm looking at other guys or payin attention to anyone else. That really lost some trust with him dealing with other men here.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

From what I've learned it's a cultural norm.