anything i can do to stop my wife?

[Staashi 371]

let me tell something thank you for reading and replying, but i didnt ask you to tell me y she left and its not your business...all i was asking for was a way for me to stop her, if there was any, and i think the sad part there is not..that all i needed to know, i dont need you to figure out what happened, i know exactly what happened ...and my baby is with me with full legal and physical custody and she does not want here and never asked about her..so thats the most important thing for me...thanks anyway for your reply...

Siga, Siga, Siga...I just had to respond to this post and say that when you say it's none of our business, you're the one who told us the parameters of your relationship and divorce. You're the one who opened yourself up to discussion of your marital, or lack there of, situation. You could have just asked your question by stating, "I think my ex-wife used me for her greencard and I'd like to prevent her citizenship application". We would have told you to collect all evidence and submit it to USCIS and let them decide what they need to do with it.

Don't get defensive...we're here to help...but as was stated before, you're on the hook for your ex and I would want her to have citizenship so that you don't get slapped with any sponsorship responsibilities.

Your eye opener is right here...

What is an Affidavit of Support?

If you are bringing a relative to live permanently in the United States, you must accept legal responsibility for financially supporting this family member. You accept this responsibility and become your relative's sponsor by completing and signing a document called an affidavit of support. This legally enforceable responsibility lasts until your relative becomes a U.S. citizen or can be credited with 40 quarters of work (usually 10 years.)

What are My Responsibilities as a Sponsor?

When you sign the Affidavit of Support, you accept legal responsibility for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant(s) until they become U.S. citizens or can be credited with 40 quarters of work. Any joint sponsors or household members whose income is used to meet the minimum income requirements are also legally responsible for financially supporting the sponsored immigrant. If the immigrant receives any "means-tested public benefits," you are responsible for repaying the cost of those benefits to the agency that provided them. If you do not repay the debt, the agency can sue you in court to get the money owed. When in doubt, ask the benefit provider whether the benefit is a "means-tested public benefit."

[SupportOAFJF 0]

i'M SORRY TO hear what happened..but having custody what does that mean really...the child now has one parent ? i don't think so...what good would it be to have the mother of your child deported..not to u but to the child..this is not about u anymore..what u think she did maybe wrong in some ppl eyes but get past it and think about the future of ur child...

good luck to u

[Donna A 4]

as someone already said, it will take her another possibly 6 years to become a resident. she cant file for her family til she becomes a citizen and it still takes along time after that to bring family here. what is it, mother and father first and then brothers and sisters even longer?

anyway...if this woman is from syria chances are if she has another man already who is also middle eastern it is easy for them to leave their children. my husband is syrian and if his ex remarried she would not be able to keep his daughter. this is their way of life. they are not like americans....arab men dont want to raise someone elses child no more then the childs father wanting another man raising his child. so i can see why she left her child. do i agree with it...no but thats they way they are raised there.

good luck, i wish u well and hope ur child brings u much happiness.

[flavaofsummer 0]

I am very sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes it is hard to beleive a mother can act like this.

I would also say that revenge is not really the answer. If you let he live her life the way she wants then something will come along and bite her in the a$$ ... I am a big beleiver in treating other people as you would want to be treated...

I think you should live your life well and be a wonderful father to your child.

IrieCat aWWWWWWWWW is that ur daughter? shes so pretty

Edited June 13, 2008 by flavaofsummer

[flavaofsummer 0]

ok guys, this is one of these sad endings that i never thought i will go thru ...i did all the steps to bring my wife overseas ...and after living here and having a baby, i found out she was cheating, and the only reason she married me is to come here to the states and see her lover...this was 7 months ago ..now,i got the divorce from state now and custody

(she left with me and never asked about all these 7 months)..at first i asked a lawyer what i can do to take her 10 year green card away, he said i advice u not to do anything, because they may think (home land sec) that it was all a setup marriage..so i didnt do anything, after a month i thought of calling the ins, and asked them if i can do anything, the lady said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it...now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?i would be thankful for any help...

i have a question did her lover have a GC or a citizen? cuz if he did why did she need u for he could have married her and bought her here ? if hes illegal then what? cuz u did mention how u dont want her to bring her people by using u or getting their visa by using u..so tell me about his visa status? how come no one replied and asked this question?

[siga 0]

ok guys, this is one of these sad endings that i never thought i will go thru ...i did all the steps to bring my wife overseas ...and after living here and having a baby, i found out she was cheating, and the only reason she married me is to come here to the states and see her lover...this was 7 months ago ..now,i got the divorce from state now and custody

(she left with me and never asked about all these 7 months)..at first i asked a lawyer what i can do to take her 10 year green card away, he said i advice u not to do anything, because they may think (home land sec) that it was all a setup marriage..so i didnt do anything, after a month i thought of calling the ins, and asked them if i can do anything, the lady said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it...now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?i would be thankful for any help...

i have a question did her lover have a GC or a citizen? cuz if he did why did she need u for he could have married her and bought her here ? if hes illegal then what? cuz u did mention how u dont want her to bring her people by using u or getting their visa by using u..so tell me about his visa status? how come no one replied and asked this question?

guys again thanks for the input..here is a few main point, i wont go to the detail, some points i may have not been clear on..anyway

1) I have full custody of my baby, because she NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE BABY WHEN SHE LEFT (about 8 months now),she called me once (7 months ago)and said she does not want the baby, thats the last i heard of her. so that out of the way...its a matter of me having to do this alone with my family and thank God for there support..

2)im not sure about here lover status, and it turned out he used her, now he does not even want her...

now, regarding the sponser deal, im still responsible for her even after the divorce?

other than that, its a real sad story, that i hope ends up being Good for my baby;s sake who is doing great, i dont want to go thru the details, but what im the most upset about guys, is when i found out that the baby was going with my Ex to motels to see this guy, thats what killed me, anyway guys, thanks again...and i think i will stay put, i did what i can do......but if she does apply now, where the divorce is final, would the INS not know that yet?I mean i cant control what she files now ..does the INS have information that we are divorced here in CA?

thanks to all for your time!

[NickD 203]

I have full custody of my baby, because she NEVER ONCE ASKED ABOUT THE BABY WHEN SHE LEFT

Would get a piece of legal paper stating that, your ex can change her mind, your divorce attorney can handle that. Speaking from experience here, unfortunately, and also a none-disputable document on property settlement. Insisted my wife also get full custody of her daughter before bringing her here as her ex changed his mind, but he still had visiting rights with my wife's and her daughter's permission. He did threaten my wife in kind of a blackmail effort to take his daughter back, but was helpless.

Regarding your liability with the I-864, that is certainly worth pursuing, a good immigration attorney may help you with that.

Wouldn't be bit surprised if your ex wants to come back, happened to me, I am not going to repeat word for word what I told her, probably would be kicked off this board after all she put me and my kids through. Let's just leave it at, I told her, no thank you. I did get her to agree to a one time settlement for her alimony, and got completely clear of her. Paid that off, plus all those attorney bills and other of her bills, man I was so deep in debt couldn't even see straight. Then I met the woman of my dream some eight years later and fortunately for me, I was the man of her dreams.

I hope that happens to you too, it's tough times now, but it passes, and you will meet a woman that loves your daughter just as much as you do.

[Gulskjegg 0]

Bingo! America is a feminocentric fascist dictatorship, therefore all males are second-class citizens/slaves and guilty until proven innocent. Your wife can, and most likely will, come back to attack you when she gets her life sorted out. Plus there is the possibility that you will be legally or financially liable for her actions at some point. Clearly, her only reason for becoming pregnant was personal gain. You can not logically expect her to give up the most powerful weapon a female has in the American "justice" system...the child.

Your wife has, by her actions, declared herself to be your sworn enemy. Therefore she will destroy you if you give her half a chance. you should consider striking now while you have the high ground. The money you spend on a lawyer now will pale in comparison to the child support and alimony and HER legal fees you might be paying over the next 20 years.

[stevemc 0]

Hi Siga...

I am sorry about what happened.

If you got divorced your wife already then there is nothing to lose, if she got the 10 yr card then be it. the only thing would matters there if nobody would support her, then it is your responsibility still because you have a child with her unless it is not yours or adopted already by her new partner and you would not worry about your support for her if she remarried again with a new man. This time her status is she can stay in the US, but she cannot claim anything a support from you unless she proves that there is a reason to get even a single penny from you.

You may start a wonderful life and be positive, learn all the lesson and take it easy, life is beautiful.

Do not wish for anything from her right now, INS or NVC will eventually know if she deserve to be a US citizen or not., it is out of your business anymore. You just did what you think is right and beware for your actions because you do not want to ruin your reputation in INS for the future plans, who knows you will fall in love again and you would be doing the same process, so i think just stay out of it and relax.

IF you love her and she loves you, then forgive her and start a new life again together.

We are just human being, not a perfect, can do mistakes, but one good thing from us is we ask forgiveness and we forgive.

That what makes us more stronger and happy. Learn from our mistakes and overcome failure.

Goodluck..

_mercy

[NickD 203]

Hi Siga...

I am sorry about what happened.

If you got divorced your wife already then there is nothing to lose, if she got the 10 yr card then be it. the only thing would matters there if nobody would support her, then it is your responsibility still because you have a child with her unless it is not yours or adopted already by her new partner and you would not worry about your support for her if she remarried again with a new man. This time her status is she can stay in the US, but she cannot claim anything a support from you unless she proves that there is a reason to get even a single penny from you.

You may start a wonderful life and be positive, learn all the lesson and take it easy, life is beautiful.

Do not wish for anything from her right now, INS or NVC will eventually know if she deserve to be a US citizen or not., it is out of your business anymore. You just did what you think is right and beware for your actions because you do not want to ruin your reputation in INS for the future plans, who knows you will fall in love again and you would be doing the same process, so i think just stay out of it and relax.

IF you love her and she loves you, then forgive her and start a new life again together.

We are just human being, not a perfect, can do mistakes, but one good thing from us is we ask forgiveness and we forgive.

That what makes us more stronger and happy. Learn from our mistakes and overcome failure.

Goodluck..

_mercy

What's to say she won't wander again? Comes home with a warm place to stay after she blew the $210,000.00 in property settlement costs and another 40K in attorney and court cost, ha, welcome back? No thanks.

Marriage was to have an element of trust and this no fault divorce law sure sucks, if you are the spouse that is working hard to protect and support your family while the other one is blowing everything away, and there is only one can of beans left, that spouse is entitled to half that can of beans. One of the dumbest laws I ever heard of. And as a spouse are liable for any bills, ex blows her money, runs up another $15,600.00 bill that occurred before the divorce, but since she blew her money, I got hit with that as well when I thought it was all over. Welcome back?

Another real stupid law, can't get a marriage annulled if it was consummated when the intention of a spouse can be proven never to live up to the vows they made to form that contract in the first place/ But a mother that abandons her very own baby to go out and play around, that has got to be the lowest and how can you even trust a person that does that? Get cleared and move on.

[Mark&Jo 0]

In most states, the custody and visitation and child support can be changed by the court anytime in the future. Conditions of either parent or her attitude can change and become a factor in changes to custody and visitation. If she blew her funds, it will be more difficult for her to afford an attorney to challenge it.

Abandonment in the early days can produce remorse later and you will have to be prepared to fight it. The courts favor the mother most of the time, even if she is not worthy.

By the way, I have full custody of my kids with visitation only what I agree to. She has abided by everything for 9 years, and I so I dont worry about it much now.

[NickD 203]

In most states, the custody and visitation and child support can be changed by the court anytime in the future. Conditions of either parent or her attitude can change and become a factor in changes to custody and visitation. If she blew her funds, it will be more difficult for her to afford an attorney to challenge it.

Abandonment in the early days can produce remorse later and you will have to be prepared to fight it. The courts favor the mother most of the time, even if she is not worthy.

By the way, I have full custody of my kids with visitation only what I agree to. She has abided by everything for 9 years, and I so I dont worry about it much now.

How do you do? LOL. Always nice to meet another guy that got full physical custody of their children and hell being a male in a courtroom. But I never stopped my kids from seeing their mom, even encouraged it, in this world, you only get one mom. Ha, just said you are related to her, I am not. But with the severe hardship they caused them, they didn't want anything to do with her. Step daughter was the same way with her dad, but now since she turned over 18 is talking to him again. I was shocked to hear that, because when he did call, and I asked her if she wanted to talk to him, would cry and run out of the house. On the other hand, my wife doesn't want anything to do with him, but the guy is still a wife beating alcoholic loser that doesn't have a penny to his name. Was a bit tense until all my kids reached 18, now it's history, but am hearing a lot or remorse in both our ex's.

I sure didn't want a situation where the ex's are coming over every five minutes like some of my friends that remarried with ex's nearby, commented their homes, a place of peace and privacy are more like the Union Station that caused even more problems that led to a second divorce. Another problem is that you get kids that distrust their parents. Had that problem with my step daughter, wasn't use to having a dad that would take care of her. Helped her with her English and homework constantly and other school problems, kind of isolated being a foreigner in a strange country, and classmates are the meanest people in the world. She got into a couple of jams and got her out of that, but thank God, she finally turned 18 in a society where 15 year old girls are having babies already. Enrolled her in a university yesterday, could have save a couple of bucks as we live only six blocks away from one, but she wants to go at it alone. Her mom doesn't understand that, but had to remind her how we were when we were 18, time to cut the apron strings. But until your kid/s turn 18, life can be a mess, make sure you have the law on your side.

[DeVile 0]

ok guys, this is one of these sad endings that i never thought i will go thru ...i did all the steps to bring my wife overseas ...and after living here and having a baby, i found out she was cheating, and the only reason she married me is to come here to the states and see her lover...this was 7 months ago ..now,i got the divorce from state now and custody

(she left with me and never asked about all these 7 months)..at first i asked a lawyer what i can do to take her 10 year green card away, he said i advice u not to do anything, because they may think (home land sec) that it was all a setup marriage..so i didnt do anything, after a month i thought of calling the ins, and asked them if i can do anything, the lady said, send all the info you can send about what happened, but you will never know if we do or dont do anything about it...now im asking you guys, it was about this time that we were going to apply for her to get her citizen ..can she still get approved if i dont sign off on it, does she need me to sign off on it? can i do anything else to stop her from becoming a citizen ?i would be thankful for any help...

You are trying to seek personal retribution using the resources of the USCIS. You want to punish your wife for using you and leaving you by taking away her green card. I can understand being upset, but using the USCIS as your instrument of revenge is not acceptable. If she already has her 10 year green card, then there is nothing you can do anyway.

Edited June 20, 2008 by DeVile

[Gulskjegg 0]

So using that logic, we can assume that if some random person on the street steals your wallet, calling the police is "useless retribution"?

The matter at stake here is protection. To protect himself, his child, other men she might to try marry then extort money from, and the US taxpayer thats going to foot her welfare and medical bills.

Not taking action would be completely irresponsible. Females in America initiate 70%+ of all divorces and females are awarded child custody in 90%+ of disputes. The reason men in America are having their guts ripped out is because men wont stand up and do whats right to stop out of control females.

How much MORE abuse is this guy expected to take?

[warpedbored 0]

I'll weigh in again. first of all if she has a 10 yr green card there is nothing you can do to have her deported. Trying to keep her from being a US citizen is just plain revenge and not in your best interests. The I-864 is legally binding regardless of whether or not you are divorced even if she remarries. There are only 3 ways out of it. 1 she works for 40 quarters (10 years) 2 she abandons her resident status and returns to her country of origin and 3 she becomes a US citizen. If she is no longer married to you she must wait until she has been a legal permanent resident for five years to apply for citizenship. The requirement is only three years if she is married to the same US citizen for that whole three years.

Get on with your life and be glad you're shed of her. Karma will come back around for her all by itself without your help.