Huge Row

[sukie175 0]

Hubby and I have had a big row, I don't want to go into full details here but it started off with me not being ready to go somewhere on time, due to my ongoing health problems with my stomach, so he was pissed. This then led him into me spending too much time on the PC when he is at work, to which I pointed out 'so what, it's not like I can work is it'.

I then told him a few home truths like - we live in the back of bloody beyond with nothing to do, I have left all my family & friends and can't see my friends here every single day. I do everything I need to do around here like housework, laundry, gardening, cooking etc. He is knackered when he gets home and just sits goggled eye in front of the TV not talking too much - so where the hell I am supposed to get my mental stimulation from, if not from the PC!!! VJ helps to keep my brain going and me sane, being with others in like situations.

We were supposed to be down at the old house getting ready for our Garage Sale, but he has stormed off and left me here to go do it....leaving me with nothing to do again and taking our time together away

Tomorrow night he has his band practice, so no time for me again. I don't know whether to cry or rage, I am just so frustrated he can't seem to understand what I am going through. I left a high pressure responsible job to be a housewife happily, but I still need some mental stimulation or I'll go mad here in the middle of nowhere!

I called Danette (another VJ'er) who lives up the road to chat and she totally hears where I am coming from. Right now I wish I was with her driving to Canada

I just needed to offload people.

Sarah

Edited May 10, 2006 by sukie175

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Yeah, there's some getting used to on both sides that, I think, most couples have to go through. I know we did. Short and sweet here since I knew exactly how Nani felt having been in her shoes myself 10 years ago.

Good Luck getting past this soon!

[Fandango 1,439]

check pm Sarah

[terri o'neale 0]

Sarah,

I feel you. Even though I am the USC I have been home over a year now with my pregnancy and the baby...while hubby works in London to pay the bills. I do my consulting from home though and that helps.

I know you don't have your EAD, and can't drive...right? How about some sort of web-based volunteering though? I don't know your level of skills but nonprofits need lots of web expertise. I think that might be a way for you to feel really good about what your doing...hubby maybe recognize the contribution you're making...and build an American resume.

I know when Paul comes here and we reverse the roles...I'm going to make sure he has time to volunteer at our Y...cause he wants to switch careers to personal trainer. So he'll have the on-line courses. (OH!!! I forgot that one...is there something you always dreamt of doing that you could train online for...Paul is going to get his certifiation as a personal trainer and specialize in chldren and one day I'm going to become a doula...you can get ALOT of certificates online now.)

But that's all that keeps me going is knowing that I will have the chance to support him as he has been supporting us.

I hope you and hubby can work this through. I would be missing England too...if it weren't for my other kids I would rather move over there. It is so much prettier...and more civilized.

Hugs

[almaty 19]

sister sarah, it is good to vent..and all couples have a period of adjustments..both people ...sanita and i ahve had our differences..but i think understanding is the key..i paly the devil advocate and write for your husband..no reflection on you sarah..he left cause ..first staying would have led to more issues and anger..2nd, maybe by telling him this ..the guilt that he feels for your sacrifices upset him.. then again..maybe, i need to shut the ** up...dean

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Sukes... I am so sorry that you and hubby had a huge fight... my thoughts are with you...

hopefully when he returns, you guys can sit down and talk peaceably and come to an understanding.

*hugs*

[TracyTN 237]

Aw Sarah. I'm sorry to hear about the row. Sometimes I think it'd be easier if the USC could walk in the non USC's shoes for once. I really think that posts like yours will help us in the future, so I for one appreciate it.

But I'm sorry you a fight with hubby!

[rooster 1]

Sarah,

Danette called me earlier and told me about your"row". I understand where you are coming from. Just hang in there!!!!!!! I am sure Gary will chill a bit and everything will be OK.

And I wish I was going to Canada with Danette too!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I have to work.

Hang in there.

Bruce

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

((((Sarah)))

You are not alone. And Dean you raise a great point playing devils advocate with regard to the guilt he might feel. I had not thought of that.

[sukie175 0]

Thanks for your comments and Dean I see where you are coming from too. Bruce thanks for the comment, you know us both well, so that means alot.

We started to work through it and then rowed again, we are both very stubborn and passionate, so this may take awhile.

Sarah

[I'm Gone 60]

Tomorrow night he has his band practice, so no time for me again.

Is band practice no girls allowed?

[MichelleandCraig 1]

awwww hugs Sarah. I'll PM you..

and PS...I soooooooooooooooo know where you're coming from as to both being stubborn and it may take a while... M.

[Leafgal 3]

I hope it all works itself out tonight, best of luck. Chin up and remember you both have points and I so know what you mean about being stubborn. Don't let that stubborness get in the way, I know it causes me and my SO a problem too. Chin up.

[Cassie 8]

We started to work through it and then rowed again, we are both very stubborn and passionate, so this may take awhile.

Sarah

Well, just keep talking even though it's hard -- the silent treatment never gets you anything but a really bad headache.

Sorry you're having a rough day. Rural Oklahoma can be beautiful, but also very hard to deal with when in your position. (I can't remember if you are in the northeast or northwest). It will get easier, I promise -- just give yourself some time to process everything. hang in there girly!!!!

[TracyTN 237]

Tomorrow night he has his band practice, so no time for me again.

Is band practice no girls allowed?

I wondered the same thing. He should include you in things he is passionate about if he can. Might just bring you closer.