why do africans use american woman for marriage

[Eric_and_Corinna 0]

*Feverishly scans the post for any sign of a period, comma or caps*

oh, futile attempt - it's one sentance!

LMAO. That's priceless!

[zqt3344 21]

Smart move on your part, but 99.9% of the other American women are not going to do what you did and just go rush off and jump right in to it and then wake up 2 years later and wonder what happened to me?

I don't think it's fair to blame women, there are men who get used too. This can happen to anyone in any culture and I agree that you have to go into any relationship with open eyes. When I met my fiance I was a Peace Corp volunteer at his school and we got to know eachother as friends first and when we started dating I asked one of my good friends (she's like a big sister to me) what his reputation in the village was and i trusted that if she had any reservations she would have told me and I extened my service for an extra year for among other reasons to make sure we both had adequate time to get to know eachother and had an understanding of each others expectations.

[amiquechu 0]

You are right, it is the American women to blame they put themselves in such stupid ridiculous positions, with sugar plums of love and romanticism dancing in their heads, they are out of touch with reality.

So does that justify their being used for a green card? Is the "user" not culpable because the women "were asking for it"?

You get an American woman who couldn't get the time of day from an American man, then someone from Africa, South America, Asia, etc., etc. looks her way and she thinks she's found her soulmate. The woman's so desperate for love that the blinders get put on and she won't listen to anything from anyone but her new love. She could have all the evidence right in front of her that her soulmate is a fraud and she'll tell you the evidence was made up.

I'm guessing this is the type of person a lot of the scammers target. Is it her fault that she "gets the shaft"? I don't know. You tell me.

Same thing probably happens to a lot of men too.

[zqt3344 21]

You hit the nail on the head square. Great post SKTEAMO!

You are right, it is the American women to blame they put themselves in such stupid ridiculous positions, with sugar plums of love and romanticism dancing in their heads, they are out of touch with reality.

So does that justify their being used for a green card? Is the "user" not culpable because the women "were asking for it"?

You get an American woman who couldn't get the time of day from an American man, then someone from Africa, South America, Asia, etc., etc. looks her way and she thinks she's found her soulmate. The woman's so desperate for love that the blinders get put on and she won't listen to anything from anyone but her new love. She could have all the evidence right in front of her that her soulmate is a fraud and she'll tell you the evidence was made up.

I'm guessing this is the type of person a lot of the scammers target. Is it her fault that she "gets the shaft"? I don't know. You tell me.

Same thing probably happens to a lot of men too.

[Jenn! 918]

You are right, it is the American women to blame they put themselves in such stupid ridiculous positions, with sugar plums of love and romanticism dancing in their heads, they are out of touch with reality.

So does that justify their being used for a green card? Is the "user" not culpable because the women "were asking for it"?

You get an American woman who couldn't get the time of day from an American man, then someone from Africa, South America, Asia, etc., etc. looks her way and she thinks she's found her soulmate. The woman's so desperate for love that the blinders get put on and she won't listen to anything from anyone but her new love. She could have all the evidence right in front of her that her soulmate is a fraud and she'll tell you the evidence was made up.

I'm guessing this is the type of person a lot of the scammers target. Is it her fault that she "gets the shaft"? I don't know. You tell me.

Same thing probably happens to a lot of men too.

I understand what you're saying. I see it here every day. I just don't think it's acceptable to take advantage of someone who is naive. That's what scams are - just because there are people who will get taken doesn't mean that the scammer isn't doing something morally reprehensible. When the focus shifts to the errors of the scammed rather than the scammer, I think the "blame" gets shifted and people forget who is the one doing something wrong because they are worried about who is the one doing something stupid.

[Ta Ta 1]

The responsibility is yours of who you chose as a mate. Do your own background checks with anyone, be it American or foreigner. Ask a lot of questions, compare the answers with your own background investigation before you jump into any relationship. That is common sense.

No one can take that responsibility from you. Own it.

I do agree that a 20 year limit to bring other g/f's /b/f's later should be in place. However if they can't do that, there are plenty other woman/men from their country here already.

Don't pick on Africans, this is a global and both gender problem.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

A 20 year limit would keep them from bringing a preexisting spouse over easily. If they were 30 when they got here that would make them 50 before they could be here together. That should put a damper on that process for most.

As for men from Africa. The good ones have family values long lost in the US. I happened to meet mine though my best friend, who is his cousin. We have been in a long distance relationship about 4 years now. The cousin still gives me "lessons" on the differences in culture, so I am not going into this unprepared. Does that mean the relationship will last longer than two people that spend a year camming each other , I don't know. But I know he is not going to come here and forget his heritage and that we will be spending some time in each country. I think a lot of people expect their partner to just forget their birth country and that is asking for trouble. I have talked to others that don't even want to go back to visit the country their spouse came from.

[msu17 0]

*Feverishly scans the post for any sign of a period, comma or caps*

oh, futile attempt - it's one sentance!

LMAO. That's priceless!

Seriously! If you can't even attempt to use appropriate punctuation even once I can't take anything said seriously.

[Rocketta 0]

Wow, there are some serious trolls on this site.

First, I don't see too many American/American marriages lasting that long. I've seen many relationships where people have known each other for years go down in flames as soon as they get married. Why is it all right for an American to make a mistake in marrying an American but not if they marry someone from another country? Why is it worse for an African to have a 2nd wife than when a majority of American married men and women have affairs on their spouses? People marry for many different reasons, it's our American right to marry who we want so step down from your pedestal. No one's relationship is guaranteed no matter how solid you 'think' it is.

Edited June 9, 2008 by Rocketta

[Hilarious Clinton 452]

*Feverishly scans the post for any sign of a period, comma or caps*

oh, futile attempt - it's one sentance!

[Sister Fracas 5]

Why is it worse for an African to have a 2nd wife than when a majority of American married men and women have affairs on their spouses?

I just have an issue with that claim... a MAJORITY... do you include your relationship in that stat?

[Rocketta 0]

Why is it worse for an African to have a 2nd wife than when a majority of American married men and women have affairs on their spouses?

I just have an issue with that claim... a MAJORITY... do you include your relationship in that stat?

It's not my stats and majority just means more than 50%, do you think the percentage of extra-marital affairs effects less than 50% of couples in the USA? As far as my relationship, I can only speak for myself and that answer would be no but I do not control my spouse and certainly couldn't say he would never make that mistake. All I can say is how I would react to it which of course would be between the two of us.

[Jenn! 918]

I've actually heard a statistic closer to 20%. Not sure how reliable that sort of data is though.

[Dr. Obvious 49]

Why is it all right for an American to make a mistake in marrying an American but not if they marry someone from another country?

I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. When USCs divorce other USCs, you can be sure that there are a certain number of people after them telling them that they told you a billion times New Ex was a jerk, a cheater, bad with money, only after your money, etc. The only difference a foreign marriage makes is the suspicion of immigration fraud when the marriage is dangerously short lived.

[amiquechu 0]

Wow, there are some serious trolls on this site.

Look in the mirror.