MENA Ladies! Q&A time!

[tammy2688 1]

If you had past relationships (Marriage/engagement/boyfriend,etc) how is it now?

A. Ended bitterly.

B. I often think of him.

C. I NEVER think of him, but I am not bitter.

D. He is bitter about it.

E. Ex who?

F. We talk because of shared children.

G. We are good freinds.

After this answer, I would like to ask all of you guys, what do you think it would be if your ex met/ran into/saw your current SO? Would he feel superior to your MENA so because he was a foreigner? Would he take it easily? Would you purposely avoid him for racist judgements he may have over your current SO?

I came across a few things that have made me think about this. Would like all your input please.

Tammy

[Alhamdulillah 0]

I'll answer in my own words since none of those really apply.

I have an ex husband. It ended bitterly but I'm happy to finally be rid of him. We don't talk even though we have kids together because he can't manage to make a simple phone call without cursing and acting like a donkey so he's banned from calling my home or cell phone. I do pay for my son to have his own cell phone solely for the purpose of his dad calling him and his sister but he doesn't bother, I assume because I'm not answering it so he can't further complicate my life, therefor it's not worth the effort for him.

My husband (current) has met my ex and threatend to cut his ears off if he EVER calls me any name other than my name in the future. Other than that my husband was very polite to him. He hasn't bothered to come back.

My ex can't possibly feel superior to my husband because they are both foreigners and my husband learned how to read, write and speak English much more before he came here than my ex ever did in the 20 years he's been here.

[tammy2688 1]

Thank you for such a detailed answer, I am darn proud of your husband telling him that!

Please everyone, I would really appreciate it if you all would share.

[Nasturtium 500]

I have an XH. We met when we were 18, first semester of college English class. It ended amicably, as we just got marrried like right after that and we obviously grew into two different people amongst other things. So I guess C? I really don't think about him. I doubt he would really care much if he met Ammar or not. We all 3 share the same dicipline lol, and they probably would have lots to talk about as far as work and academic interests. Actually, sometimes, I manage to forget I was married before. I *really* don't care!

[Alhamdulillah 0]

Oh, I forgot to answer, I DO think about him once a week..... when I notice there is STILL no child support payment and am reminded that my husband is now taking care of HIS kids.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

No ex husbands. I have a handful of ex boyfriends of which a few were ex-fiances. Only one of them I think about often but that's because when we ended it was devastating. The others I only remember when I am reminded of life lessons.

The majority of them wouldn't feel superior or racists. There was only one from TX that I can think of that was openly racist which eventually ended our relationship.

I highly doubt my Husband will ever meet any of my exs. I'm not too worried about it.

[SaadBell 0]

Ex-husband and now husband get alone, my husband now, likes my ex-husband, he is a funny guy, just a ####### to live with. Now his ex-wife hates me, so she has yet to accept the fact he is remarried.

[morocco4ever 63]

Ex husband is still to this day bitter. He often comments to the kids the strangest things such as I only married my husband to make him jealous. He remarried, and him and his current wife are constantly driving by my house to see what I am up to, even though the kids are raised now. Freaky.

Anyway he has never spoken to my husband. He pulled up into the driveway once and my husband was outside. My husband, to be friendly, waved at him. He just snubbed him. My hubby was ticked off about it, but I thought it was funny. I explained that he really isn't normal, and he finally sees it in the same light that I do.

My ex is very predjudice. He has never said anything about it to me because we don't speak, but he has made comments to my kids that he is only here to bomb the US. He really is a freaking idiot.

[Jenn! 918]

No serious ex's here. It's a good thing because I think I would have a hard time dealing with that in my life!

[nu7015 0]

My divorce ended bitterly but it really was the best thing for me to have happened. We talk on occassion when needed because of my daughter but she has her own cell phone that he calls her on so I don't have to talk to him very often. He is still bitter and whoever his current girlfriend is at the time tries to make things difficult but I've learned to deal with that.

My husband has spoken with him when needed and my ex seems to be intimidated by him and will listen to him. My husband also told him that he has to speak respectfully to me for my daughter's sake at least. My ex lives several states away and moves often so there is very little face to face interaction between my husband and him.

I never cared what my ex thought of my husband. My husband is much more intelligent, family-oriented, caring of myself and daughter, successful and MUCH better looking than my ex so there was no need to care what my ex thought.

My ex is also racist in ways and I'm sure he's had his hay-day with jokes/comments about my ex but he can laugh all he wants...

No serious ex's here. It's a good thing because I think I would have a hard time dealing with that in my life!

Just curious about the 'Goat #######'??!!

[nunyab 0]

well my past relationship is my ex husband and he thinks my husband is using me for a green card... I really am interested to see how things change once he's here.

[Jenn! 918]

Just curious about the 'Goat #######'??!!

Just stealing another VJer's insult. I thought it was hilarious! I think it was actually "you snivelling goat #######". Maybe I should add the snivelling?

[tammy2688 1]

Very interesting. I also agree we should not give a ####### what the ex's think or believe or want to believe or try to make the kids believe. There is a reason why they are the EX! I too feel that any sort of ext whether husband or boyfriend is a great life lesson as to what NOT to look for in a man or how to be a better and stronger woman from those experiences.

Very good input everyone. Would love to hear more.

Tammy

[KHPerfectMatch 1]

My Ex Husband is Egyptian, like my SO. And I live in a very small city and am not looking forward to them meeting up in the masjid or at community events. My SO is Saidi (in case you know Egyptian culture) so I can imagine sparks could fly if my ex says anything about me.... but that is doubtful, he's a pretty quiet and private guy.

Right now I'm just concerned with getting him here and all the other culture shock he'll face so I can't spend too much time worrying about AFTERwards...

Should be interesting...

K

[Henia 11]

Esalaam/Hello

Alhamdulillah, love your sig!

I too, will answer in my own words! I do have an ex, that I have my daughter from ... but no, we donnot talk even for the sake of the child. He was not around then, and even more so not around now!

My current husband, has tried to get my ex 'involved' with my daughter ... but all he has accomplished is a bunch of fulfilled promised. I think if my husband, ran in my ex ... he would give him the diplomatic talk about 'responsibility' and "role of fathers in humanity and Islam' But doubtful it would get us anywhere.

Both my husband and ex are foreigners so there would be no superiority or racism. But somehow I do think, my ex would try to pull the 'macho' role off ... something he does not do well! My husband (current) would in any case triumph!