IS YOUR WIFE THE SAME ONCE IN THE USA???

[Dixie_Peach 1]

My fiance, Areilys, will be coming to the US soon. I have received notice from the USCIS that they have sent the papers to the NVC on April 20, 2006.....hopefully she will get the papers soon. I just wanted to know how many people have women from Colombia or some spanish country...ACTUALLY ANY country and brought them here for marriage and have been married. Have you noticed a change in their attitudes? How do they deal with the FEMINIST culture here? Has anyone wife changed for the worst and become the much hated "INDEPENDENT FEMINIST" woman that alot of American women have become?? I just don't want that negative influence to come into my wife's mind. How have your marriage experiences been with your foreign wives??

I am one of those Independent Feminist...

My dream has always been to have my own family... husband, kids... stay at home mom...

but you know what? it didn't work out that way! do you know why? Because that Good Ol' boy American Man wanted his cake and eat it too... He put finding new poontang ABOVE his family duty.

Yes, I know it is different for you men... you can have sex without feelings... blah blah blah... it didn't mean anything... it was only that one time...

yep... heard them all...

been there... done that... don't wanna repeat...

I COULD generalize and say that ALL AMERICAN MEN ARE #######-DOGS WHO CHEAT ON THEIR WIVES - AND HAVE NO REGARD FOR HER EMOTIONS OR THOSE OF HIS CHILDREN...

but I didn't do that...

I can agree... there is a certain level of old-fashioned VALUES that is being lost... but I would not necessarily blame it on the women. Most women I know HAD to get out to get a job and support the family because the man turned out to be a spineless, p*ssy chasing, ALL ABOUT HIM jerk! Also, when most women entered the work-force... and could - in some jobs... - do the same job as the man... what happened? She was paid less than the man... why? Simply because she is NOT a man...

Know what else I have found? That a lot of men are intimidated by an intelligent woman... a woman who can make more money than him because she has strived HARD to achieve an education...

I do not necessarily say that it is upon one gender that there is a break-down in today' generations values, morals, etc...

it is a combined effort between the male and the female...

so don't you dare try to victimize me for HAVING to be one of those INDEPENDENT FEMALES...

I take offense at that... especially when I know for a fact that I have tried to instill within my son the morals, values, and beliefs that my mom passed along to me.

I have worked myself to the bone for my son... to give him what he needs... and lost many nights sleep and time from work when my son was ill and needed his mom at home...

Before anyone starts pointing fingers... they need to look at the fingers that are pointed back at them...

as my mom used to say: don't sweep my doorstep mister... ya need to sweep yer own!

[Dr. J 0]

It's not only the men I have been with... I have lots of cousins, uncles, friends, and I've been lucky enough to observe their behaviour without getting involved (as a woman) with them. Plus, ask any girl that comes from there about this, and she won't be able to say that my point is totally wrong. I do talk about a vast majority; the literature is immense, and the only feminist fundamentalism in me is that I love Coco Chanel biography and I love Simone de Beauvoir works... this means, I'm certainly not making all this up.

Ok, let me explain myself again.

First, I didnt "stop even trying Latinamerican men"... I tried more than enough, FYI. I just decided not to waste my precious time in fruitless stupidities anymore. I had other things to take care of and looking desperately for a male was not in my priorities list. And the one arrived when he had to. And I was ready for it. Now, I have priceless friends (guys) whose love issues are not on my business, so I'm not directly affected by how they behave with their women... and they know what I think and they respect me.

What I'm trying to do is to relieve Dr J's concern (I ignored the rest of the replies) telling him that latinas (at least the numerous I know, don't slap me please!!) do not often fall onto that sharp feminism, because we simply liked to be cherished and pampered and spoiled, and we find our way to get that because we are not so stupid. So it's very likely that his beautiful Colombian girl (Colombian women are awesome people!) will remain as warm as she was in her country, even if the beginning is a bit tough.

Man........you are fighting a loosing battle argueing with rebellious women that want to do what they want to do and dont care about their men. I have visited the country and I tell you ALOT a WHOLE lot of Latin American men are this way......I'm sure MORE American men would be this way if it was 11 women to one guy.....I mean...the women get deparate.....they only want to be loved, cherished, spoiled, RESPECTED, and adored.........ALOT of American women want POWER, MONEY, CONTROL......all that stupidity...Maybe all you gals can take some lessons from Cami on how to be a companion and not a COMPETITOR of your spouses!!

[pax 0]

rebellious women that want to do what they want to do

I think it's time to start a sorority!

[Cassie 8]

Man........you are fighting a loosing battle argueing with rebellious women that want to do what they want to do and dont care about their men. I have visited the country and I tell you ALOT a WHOLE lot of Latin American men are this way......I'm sure MORE American men would be this way if it was 11 women to one guy.....I mean...the women get deparate.....they only want to be loved, cherished, spoiled, RESPECTED, and adored.........ALOT of American women want POWER, MONEY, CONTROL......all that stupidity...Maybe all you gals can take some lessons from Cami on how to be a companion and not a COMPETITOR of your spouses!!

*almost biting tongue off*

[TracyTN 237]

ALOT of American women want POWER, MONEY, CONTROL......all that stupidity...

So, a woman who wants that is stupid. What about a man who wants the same?

[aussiewench 9]

Dr. J

What are your views on wenches

[Sister Fracas 5]

Generalizations upon generalizations....good grief! Now we're gonna start with the Latin American men....

Dr.J...did you ever think it might be your approach when asking a woman to cook for you? And is the inability to cook a meal the thing to look for in a wife. By that logic, men should be handy men able to fix any old thing around the house by "traditional" standards. Well if that's what I would have been looking for in a mate, I would have missed out on my husband. He can't hammer a nail to save his life. It's who he is that is attractive...not what he can do.

That said, I LOVE to cook for my husband. Nothing pleases me more than to plan a wonderful meal and have him enjoy it heartily. And you know what, after just about every meal, he says thank you because he appreciates the effort and the result......but, he doesn't EXPECT it. My husband, our home and the time we spend together, and our families are the most important things in my life. I choose it to be so. PERIOD!

Signed,

Just another horrible American indepedent feminist looking to taint the minds of foreign women

*wonders if Dr. J is just a troll looking to stir the pot..... hmmm...*

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Yeah, I'm wondering how well these men do with typical "manly" pursuits like rebuilding a car engine and chopping down trees -- I find modern American man is not so good at them any more. My husband refuse to do them!

[Sister Fracas 5]

they only want to be loved, cherished, spoiled, RESPECTED, and adored.........ALOT of American women want POWER, MONEY, CONTROL......all that stupidity...

So then, you won't be respecting your wife right? Can't have that....who knows where that could lead!!!

ALOT of American women want POWER, MONEY, CONTROL......all that stupidity...

So, a woman who wants that is stupid. What about a man who wants the same?

Methinks this will be another question Dr J ignores.... too much logic there...

[pax 0]

Another question: can a woman not be motivated, intellectually curious, etc. etc. and still believe that spouses should be kind, gentle, and helpful to each other? Because I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent, professional woman, but I enjoy cooking, baking, even doing laundry.

Also, does it follow that any woman who wants to have a career outside the home is competing against her husband? What if she simply has her own goals and ambitions that she had before she ever met him, and she's seeking to satisfy them?

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Anyways, I want money as should every US woman on this board -- the USCIS doesn't include the amount of dinners we cook and coffees we bring them for our non-US husbands as currency in our affavits of support,

[Sister Fracas 5]

Another question: can a woman not be motivated, intellectually curious, etc. etc. and still believe that spouses should be kind, gentle, and helpful to each other? Because I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent, professional woman, but I enjoy cooking, baking, even doing laundry.

Also, does it follow that any woman who wants to have a career outside the home is competing against her husband? What if she simply has her own goals and ambitions that she had before she ever met him, and she's seeking to satisfy them?

no pax....no goals... not allowed!

[Dr. J 0]

Generalizations upon generalizations....good grief! Now we're gonna start with the Latin American men....

Dr.J...did you ever think it might be your approach when asking a woman to cook for you? And is the inability to cook a meal the thing to look for in a wife. By that logic, men should be handy men able to fix any old thing around the house by "traditional" standards. Well if that's what I would have been looking for in a mate, I would have missed out on my husband. He can't hammer a nail to save his life. It's who he is that is attractive...not what he can do.

That said, I LOVE to cook for my husband. Nothing pleases me more than to plan a wonderful meal and have him enjoy it heartily. And you know what, after just about every meal, he says thank you because he appreciates the effort and the result......but, he doesn't EXPECT it. My husband, our home and the time we spend together, and our families are the most important things in my life. I choose it to be so. PERIOD!

Signed,

Just another horrible American indepedent feminist looking to taint the minds of foreign women

*wonders if Dr. J is just a troll looking to stir the pot..... hmmm...*

for everyone's INFO up here I am great cook. My mother and grandmotehr taught me. AND my last wife could not cook #######....I remember the smoke detector going off OVER AND OVER again...LOL. I taught her to cook....Im not as "barberic" as most people on this thread make me seem. So what if a woman cannot cook....BUT her willingness to please her husband is what I look for......now I know everyone going to twist that...esepcially LisaD ......

PS: I would have to give TraceyTB or whatever your name is....the "INSTIGATOR OF THE POST" award...you really do just post off peoples quotes and ask questions that provoke silliness.....CONGRATS...you are the instigator of the POST!!

Edited May 12, 2006 by Dr. J

[Cassie 8]

Another question: can a woman not be motivated, intellectually curious, etc. etc. and still believe that spouses should be kind, gentle, and helpful to each other? Because I consider myself to be a reasonably intelligent, professional woman, but I enjoy cooking, baking, even doing laundry.

Also, does it follow that any woman who wants to have a career outside the home is competing against her husband? What if she simply has her own goals and ambitions that she had before she ever met him, and she's seeking to satisfy them?

that is exactly what has been running through my head! Why does one have to be mutually exclusive of the other?

[Sister Fracas 5]

I am great cook. My mother and grandmotehr taught me. AND my last wife could not cook #######....I remember the smoke detector going off OVER AND OVER again...LOL. I taught her to cook

Apparently you didn't do too good of a job....