IS YOUR WIFE THE SAME ONCE IN THE USA???

[CarolineM 0]

OMG what are you talking about. Do you now want to debate abortion?

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

DONT START ON THAT...IT WAS JUST AN EXAMPLE .....PLEASE PLEASE........I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE BEATDOWNS....FORGET I SAID IT!! FORGIVE MY IMPOTENCE...PLEASE.......DO NOT DISCUSS ABORTION...

ONLY AN EXAMPLE......SORRY SORRY SORRRY!!!!!!!!!

How was this missed?

[Freda 0]

Lisa.

Does anyone really think that a woman who has no values, morals, and doesn't belief in love, marriage and family would be here on this site anyway. Did you not think that maybe the reason we are all here male and female is because we have all these values and have found them in our foreign Sweetheart. Maybe you should have posted this topic in your local newspaper were you are seeing all this corruption to begin with. Once again I think this is totally insane I don't think nationality has anything to do with our values and how we view marriage and family it's what we believe and feel inside our own hearts.

[Kez/JWolf 6]

karo112

It was missed because it was a very LIMP statement....

Kezzie

[Fixer 0]

I'd like you to confirm or deny the fact that these are the 'values' that you think eludes the American woman. Is this what you mean by 'traditional'?

I"m actually curious for the response of Dr J, pedroh, zed, and Ken from Ken and Inna...actually any other male who also believes in what they're saying. See Ken believes a woman should work to support the family, Dr J doesn't, Yet both feels that is a 'traditional' role, so I'm confused. I'm looking forward to the men who are Pro-Traditional coming up with a list of characteristics that elude the American woman.

Pedroh came up with not dancing with other men...

DrJ brought up abortion early on....a tradtional woman doesn't believe in abortion. Or work for a living...

Yet, Ken brought up the need to have a woman who won't sit on her ### after having a baby because Ken was in a 'transition' period workwise (I"m not even goin there Ken). A woman who will have a little more job stability than God knows how many jobs in how many years. One who would not cheat on him and get tatoos and live in sin with another man.

So as you see, boys, you're not coming across as a united front. So I'd just like a litte more insight as to what you all think constitiutes this rare & elusive 'Traditional Woman'

Raises hand

I would like to state for the record that I never, in my life, wanted a traditional woman. During my 'online dating period' I must have turned down a couple dozen offers from international women just because I didn't want to get into a relationship who lived farther than two hours drive.

How did that go? Well. I got a completely untraditional woman (YAY!) but she is more than two hours drive (DAMN) but we're working to change that.

Also, accents by themselves are not sexy, it is the person WITH the accent that makes the accent sexy.

[zed2283 1]

Zed....

I just so happened to have fallen in love with an Englishman, not that I went looking specifically for one.

This is from a website that intorduces foreign men to Colombian women.

"Colombian women posses qualities that many American and other foreign men desire, but that the Colombian man does not appreciate. Many of these qualities have disappeared or are hard to find in the modern cultures of the developed countries (USA, Canada, UK).

Colombian women have a more traditional outlook on marriage. They are devoted to their husbands and family. They are raised to be proud mothers and are home minded. They believe the most important things in the world are their children and the happiness of their family. Colombian women are genuine, loyal, honest, romantic, tender, and yes, they are very passionate women and strive to make their mates happy in every way.

There are beautiful, educated, and sexy women throughout Colombia and many other Latin American countries that really want to meet sincere men to be their husbands, lovers, and best friend."

Someone that compliments you...not COMPETES against you

Ask any man that has been to Colombia............they will tell you the same thing!!

I'm sorry for my 'small pecker' comment however shrouded in thruth the theory may or may not be. That was a low blow on my part. But I am very interested in what you've said here.

I happen to think there's something morally wrong with picking your woman out from a MOB website as if she's a puppy in a window. 'oooh, I hear the 'Colombian' is a good breed! Loyal to a fault, and you won't have to worry about feeling inferior to a woman by assuming your wife will be competing with you'

Seriously tho, I find it VERY telling that one characteristic that was bolded in red was that foreign wives don't COMPETE against husbands. When did American women start doin that? Of course, women have been competing for jobs in the workplace, competing for equal pay, etc But in a domestic situation, I am at a loss as to competing for WHAT exactly...because I thought you believed that you share everything....so how is it competing if your teammate succeeds????

Competing for what?

I'd like you to confirm or deny the fact that these are the 'values' that you think eludes the American woman. Is this what you mean by 'traditional'?

I"m actually curious for the response of Dr J, pedroh, zed, and Ken from Ken and Inna...actually any other male who also believes in what they're saying. See Ken believes a woman should work to support the family, Dr J doesn't, Yet both feels that is a 'traditional' role, so I'm confused. I'm looking forward to the men who are Pro-Traditional coming up with a list of characteristics that elude the American woman.

Pedroh came up with not dancing with other men...

DrJ brought up abortion early on....a tradtional woman doesn't believe in abortion. Or work for a living...

Yet, Ken brought up the need to have a woman who won't sit on her ### after having a baby because Ken was in a 'transition' period workwise (I"m not even goin there Ken). A woman who will have a little more job stability than God knows how many jobs in how many years. One who would not cheat on him and get tatoos and live in sin with another man.

So as you see, boys, you're not coming across as a united front. So I'd just like a litte more insight as to what you all think constitiutes this rare & elusive 'Traditional Woman'

This lil gem came from Zed elsewhere:

I would like to second that for all you ladies out there. DO NOT pressure your men. That is the worst thing you can do. We men are just trying to do what we feel is right, in our own time and in our own way. If you love us and trust us and believe in us, then know that we will come around eventually. And letting us do it that way will lead to a much better relationship. And if it doesn't happen, then both people are better off in the end than if things had been forced to move forward.

I think this is very telling here. Dont' pressure your man. Don't question him. For the good of the relationship, let him be!!! Take heed, women folk! This is the worst.thing.you.could.do!

I'm not telling you that you don't have the right to choose who you want. You SHOULD marry someone who gels with you and shares your belief system. What I'm pulling apart here is your desire to put American women down at the same time. You like a woman with an accent? You like a woman who is exotic and is from a new & exciting land? THAT'S GREAT....by all means go to it. I'm not even telling you that you don't have the right to be a sexist creepy chopfcuk. That's your business!

But if you're going to pick a woman based on the fact that all or most American women are ######, have weak family values, etc..well that's where I draw the line. That is utter bs and everyone here knows it!

Hahahahaaa... how did you do that? Are you stalking me, Lisa?

But there you go again... taking statements out of context and twisting them to support your "argument." And here I was politely trying to remove myself from this thread... That quote was in response to a woman who posted that she was tired of waiting for her man to propose, that she didn't want to wait anymore, and that she was basically pressuring him (or going to) into marriage. With that in mind, go back and read my response again. If anyone disagrees with me, well then I feel sorry for your significant other.

exactly......that is the NUMBER ONE REASON everyone use that excuse....." you need 2 incomes." NO you dont. You need 2 incomes if you got a SUPER SIZED HOME, 2 MERCEDES, buy BRAND NAME clothes, and 8 maxed out platinum VISA cards..........you can live comfortable on ONE income...my parents do it.....my mother stays at home and takes care of my little brother....and my step-dad make about $35-40k a year....it CAN BE DONE. My question is...WHEN does the family come first???

Are you saying, if a woman wants to work, she shouldn't be allowed to? A man should force his wife to stay home?

How about if the shoe was on the other foot, and your wife had the high end job? Woud you stay home and take care of the house and the kids, or is that work striclty limited to the women folk? Do you hold double standards? Regardless of anything else, how would YOU like to stay home day after day after day? Easy for you to think it's okay for someone to stay home and play "Susie Homemaker", but you don't have to. You can go off to work everyday, get out, see people, interact with people, while the wife sits home and has an intelligent conversation with the 2 yo?!!!

I HATE DOUBLE STANDARDS!!! What's good for the goose is good for the gander. PERIOD!!! Don't ask someone to do something you wouldn't be willing to do yourself. PERIOD!!!

Just so you know... I make PLENTY of money to support my future wife, and children if we are blessed to have them. If she wants to work, that's her perogative, and her money. My feelings are if she wants to work, she can, but only because it gives her something to do, not as a means of supporting our family, which is MY responsibility. In that regard... I am "old fasioned".

So it's your responsibility to support the family, but it's not her responsibility to care for it? So even though you make PLENTY of money to support a family, it's ok if you put the kids in daycare because she would rather work "because it gives her something to do"?

[Aymerlu 3]

This thread is STILL going?

[tmma 467]

That said, I think there are many Western women (at least American women) who don't respect their partners (as a result of their HUGE sense of entitlement). This is what leads to so many problems in today's marriages. You guys can flame me all you want, but I know what I've seen.

Zed,

"huge sense of entitlement"?

Could you elaborate, please?

"who don't respect their partners..."

There are many women ( and men) from EVERYWHERE that do not respect their partners. We have had story upon story on here about women and men who have come over on a fiance(e) visa and subsequently "dropped" whoever brought them over! Believe it or not SOME of these people have been fron Latin America ( gasp).

I personally don't care where/how or why you chose a spouse from wherever. I take exception to the disparaging terminology thrown around referencing women ( especially western women)-some of it-especially Dr J's was downright insulting, not just to American/Western women but to all women, I would think!

I don't care about YOUR values or what YOU believe a marraige SHOULD be-that's between you and your spouse-but there is NO need to come onto a public forum and insult the rest of us in the process!

Please bear in mind that after marraige and afew years YOUR wife will also be classed as "American"!

I hope you are both happy and everything is what you both expected.

And no one answered my questions from earlier in this thread -now the thread is too long to find them again-never mind...I think I know the answers anyway!

[Fandango 1,439]

Hahahahaaa... how did you do that? Are you stalking me, Lisa?

But there you go again... taking statements out of context and twisting them to support your "argument." And here I was politely trying to remove myself from this thread... That quote was in response to a woman who posted that she was tired of waiting for her man to propose, that she didn't want to wait anymore, and that she was basically pressuring him (or going to) into marriage. With that in mind, go back and read my response again. If anyone disagrees with me, well then I feel sorry for your significant other.

Erm, firstly No I'm not stalking you. I'd tell you how I did it, but I wouldn't want your pride to take a hit so figure it out yourself.

Secondly, no the thread was NOT about waiting for her man to propose. They had filed a K1 already...you know what that means, right???? Means they WERE engaged. She was sick of limbo & wanted concrete plans for their life together. Not quite the same thing of 'pressuring for an engagement'

Oh right, hang on....don't question the man....who does she think she is wanting to know where an engagement is going? some nerve to want to put an end to the indecision...don't pressure the man!!!

[Fandango 1,439]

Furthermore, I don't see anything wrong with a woman wanting to know where a relationship is going. I don't see anything wrong with her asking a man what he sees for their future. It is not just up to the man to decide 'I want that one' (shout out to all the Lil Brit fans), and your assertation otherwise of 'don't question the man' only proves what a tool you are.

But then again, that's your right to be one. And just because you are one doesn't mean the whole American Male gender is screwed either. They're ok, it's just you

[zed2283 1]

Hahahahaaa... how did you do that? Are you stalking me, Lisa?

But there you go again... taking statements out of context and twisting them to support your "argument." And here I was politely trying to remove myself from this thread... That quote was in response to a woman who posted that she was tired of waiting for her man to propose, that she didn't want to wait anymore, and that she was basically pressuring him (or going to) into marriage. With that in mind, go back and read my response again. If anyone disagrees with me, well then I feel sorry for your significant other.

Erm, firstly No I'm not stalking you. I'd tell you how I did it, but I wouldn't want your pride to take a hit so figure it out yourself.

Secondly, no the thread was NOT about waiting for her man to propose. They had filed a K1 already...you know what that means, right???? Means they WERE engaged. She was sick of limbo & wanted concrete plans for their life together. Not quite the same thing of 'pressuring for an engagement'

Oh right, hang on....don't question the man....who does she think she is wanting to know where an engagement is going? some nerve to want to put an end to the indecision...don't pressure the man!!!

Ah, I see that you are right... technically. But going back and reading the post it is obvious to me that she did pressure him into moving forward with the relationship, the K-1, etc. You just have to read between the lines (and they're pretty wide). If you know this girl and know that I'm wrong about that, please feel free to correct me. Or go ahead with the "how DARE you assume you know this or that" counter-attack.

[Fandango 1,439]

Hahahahaaa... how did you do that? Are you stalking me, Lisa?

But there you go again... taking statements out of context and twisting them to support your "argument." And here I was politely trying to remove myself from this thread... That quote was in response to a woman who posted that she was tired of waiting for her man to propose, that she didn't want to wait anymore, and that she was basically pressuring him (or going to) into marriage. With that in mind, go back and read my response again. If anyone disagrees with me, well then I feel sorry for your significant other.

Erm, firstly No I'm not stalking you. I'd tell you how I did it, but I wouldn't want your pride to take a hit so figure it out yourself.

Secondly, no the thread was NOT about waiting for her man to propose. They had filed a K1 already...you know what that means, right???? Means they WERE engaged. She was sick of limbo & wanted concrete plans for their life together. Not quite the same thing of 'pressuring for an engagement'

Oh right, hang on....don't question the man....who does she think she is wanting to know where an engagement is going? some nerve to want to put an end to the indecision...don't pressure the man!!!

Ah, I see that you are right... technically. But going back and reading the post it is obvious to me that she did pressure him into moving forward with the relationship, the K-1, etc. You just have to read between the lines (and they're pretty wide). If you know this girl and know that I'm wrong about that, please feel free to correct me. Or go ahead with the "how DARE you assume you know this or that" counter-attack.

Yes, she should sit like a demure little flower while her life passes her by until Big daddy decides to call the shots.

*hurl*

read my post above this one I've pretty much covered the response.

I don't want this to become about that thread, this thing is confusing already. I just wanted to illustrate your attitude.

DON'T PRESSURE THE MAN, DON'T QUESTION THE MAN, THAT'S THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO.

And if this attitude is what you need to go to another country to get....well then yanno what? Fair play to you then. You don't want a wife, you want a person to boss around!

[ChasUK 0]

All people change in time, whether in a relationship or not. Hopefully, with age comes more wisdom, (generally speaking ), and maturity. Characters adjust to lifestyles and all influences upon us thru life.

So, the question here is, as far as I can see, can 2 people love each other enough to want to be together forever, bearing in mind that over time they WILL both change and so they must both be aware, right from the start, that compromise, understanding and patience are REQUISITE to a lasting, ongoing, loving relationship?

Seems simple to me. Adjust to each others changes and do it willingly and things work better.

[Traviesa 0]

Relationships and particularly the marriage relationship are about mutual respect and compromise. That's a traditional family value you can stick with, not "you are woman, you do what I say and I don't need to be accountable to you."

[Ken and Inna 0]

Yeah LisaD it is obvious that you are confused and yes we are united in our goals. Unfortunately our American counter parts are professional word twisters and understand how to win in verbal battles...not with logic or reason but with plenty of hot air insults and mis-statements. Wonder why we don't care for American women as a whole....I think you are doing a good job representing our case. If this thread was vice versa you would not see men flaming with anger calling you names and taking it so personal..we really are more secure with ourselves than that. However to address your question..Our problem with our American women stem from traits that translate to overall values. Lets see how do women describe their desired man...Must be spontaneous, christian, have a degree, make more than I. ISO my prince charming, knight in shining armour...blah blah blah. You can find this man in a romance novel (Unrealistic expectations) ..Men are more decisive and pattern oriented...we don't flake out on a whim. We also do not feel hormones is a good excuse to treat you mate like sh*t whenever you have the desire. Amazingly it seems that women have so many problems we don't have time to take care of ours...geez get a grip! We also despise the fact that women feel if the b*tch enough they can get there way, whether it be in an argument or simply to get her way. It's okay for you to point out our short comings and opportunities for improvement but God forbid we point one of yours out. Women complain that we don't talk but if we did happen to state our opinion you can see what we know we will have to put up with...and we aren't even married..that would be ten times worse. So how does this translate to family values you may ask...well if there is no harmony and continuity in the family then the family unit is not healthy. To sum it up we simply want a with not so high maintenance that offers a peaceful atmosphere where the family as a whole can flourish as a whole and where mutual respect is the standard to live by. You want me to respect your opinion and rights of expression then respect mine. By the way the above listing of what women want is the standard listing of what most women use in their dating site listings of requirements...note many of them are so damn arrogant that they actually require the man to be more accomplished then themselves...go figure. And it seems to me they want to tell you what your faith, worshiping practices, type of job, hair color ...hell they want to build their ideal person to a tee. I realize some marriages need to be terminated but I have seen to many women use the excuse...he don't appreciate me, I don't love him like I used too, He don't spend enough time with me..blah blah blah. Any ole excuse will work right? Good reason to disolve the family and of course do everything in your power to ruin his life in the process. Face it most American women are high maintenance, play games, have unrealistic expectations are munipulative and selfish! this translates to family values...how...because under these conditions there is no family, our hope is to find a level headed wife that does not suffer from these morbid and undesireable traits...guys do you have anything to add that I missed? I answered your question and this is my last post in this thread period...I do not care to flame with you...it is silly. I respect your opinions so show some class and respect mine and lay off the name calling which should be left for uneducated morons.

Zed....

I just so happened to have fallen in love with an Englishman, not that I went looking specifically for one.

This is from a website that intorduces foreign men to Colombian women.

"Colombian women posses qualities that many American and other foreign men desire, but that the Colombian man does not appreciate. Many of these qualities have disappeared or are hard to find in the modern cultures of the developed countries (USA, Canada, UK).

Colombian women have a more traditional outlook on marriage. They are devoted to their husbands and family. They are raised to be proud mothers and are home minded. They believe the most important things in the world are their children and the happiness of their family. Colombian women are genuine, loyal, honest, romantic, tender, and yes, they are very passionate women and strive to make their mates happy in every way.

There are beautiful, educated, and sexy women throughout Colombia and many other Latin American countries that really want to meet sincere men to be their husbands, lovers, and best friend."

Someone that compliments you...not COMPETES against you

Ask any man that has been to Colombia............they will tell you the same thing!!

I'm sorry for my 'small pecker' comment however shrouded in thruth the theory may or may not be. That was a low blow on my part. But I am very interested in what you've said here.

I happen to think there's something morally wrong with picking your woman out from a MOB website as if she's a puppy in a window. 'oooh, I hear the 'Colombian' is a good breed! Loyal to a fault, and you won't have to worry about feeling inferior to a woman by assuming your wife will be competing with you'

Seriously tho, I find it VERY telling that one characteristic that was bolded in red was that foreign wives don't COMPETE against husbands. When did American women start doin that? Of course, women have been competing for jobs in the workplace, competing for equal pay, etc But in a domestic situation, I am at a loss as to competing for WHAT exactly...because I thought you believed that you share everything....so how is it competing if your teammate succeeds????

Competing for what?

I'd like you to confirm or deny the fact that these are the 'values' that you think eludes the American woman. Is this what you mean by 'traditional'?

I"m actually curious for the response of Dr J, pedroh, zed, and Ken from Ken and Inna...actually any other male who also believes in what they're saying. See Ken believes a woman should work to support the family, Dr J doesn't, Yet both feels that is a 'traditional' role, so I'm confused. I'm looking forward to the men who are Pro-Traditional coming up with a list of characteristics that elude the American woman.

Pedroh came up with not dancing with other men...

DrJ brought up abortion early on....a tradtional woman doesn't believe in abortion. Or work for a living...

Yet, Ken brought up the need to have a woman who won't sit on her ### after having a baby because Ken was in a 'transition' period workwise (I"m not even goin there Ken). A woman who will have a little more job stability than God knows how many jobs in how many years. One who would not cheat on him and get tatoos and live in sin with another man.

So as you see, boys, you're not coming across as a united front. So I'd just like a litte more insight as to what you all think constitiutes this rare & elusive 'Traditional Woman'

This lil gem came from Zed elsewhere:

I would like to second that for all you ladies out there. DO NOT pressure your men. That is the worst thing you can do. We men are just trying to do what we feel is right, in our own time and in our own way. If you love us and trust us and believe in us, then know that we will come around eventually. And letting us do it that way will lead to a much better relationship. And if it doesn't happen, then both people are better off in the end than if things had been forced to move forward.

I think this is very telling here. Dont' pressure your man. Don't question him. For the good of the relationship, let him be!!! Take heed, women folk! This is the worst.thing.you.could.do!

I'm not telling you that you don't have the right to choose who you want. You SHOULD marry someone who gels with you and shares your belief system. What I'm pulling apart here is your desire to put American women down at the same time. You like a woman with an accent? You like a woman who is exotic and is from a new & exciting land? THAT'S GREAT....by all means go to it. I'm not even telling you that you don't have the right to be a sexist creepy chopfcuk. That's your business!

But if you're going to pick a woman based on the fact that all or most American women are ######, have weak family values, etc..well that's where I draw the line. That is utter bs and everyone here knows it!

[TracyTN 237]

Never mind.

Carry on, all.

Edited May 11, 2006 by TracyTN