IS YOUR WIFE THE SAME ONCE IN THE USA???

[Traviesa 0]

Yes, well, I just hope their wives/fiancees know they were picked based not on who they are but on what they can do for the guy...

[Ken and Inna 0]

So there's not an American woman around with family values? How about my friend with 2 kids who doesn't leave them with babysitters...or the other one who's devoted her life to the care and education of children, including her own 3. There's 3 of us right here! I think this is more about "getting me one of THOSE" than family values.

If your read my post completely I stated that not all American women were as stated...stereo typing is wrong. However there is enough of it to be extremely alarming...and you do not know what I want nor do you know how damn hard I worked to make my marriage work. I ONLY want a companion that is willing to contribute to the relationship as earnestly as I do.

[Fandango 1,439]

So there's not an American woman around with family values? How about my friend with 2 kids who doesn't leave them with babysitters...or the other one who's devoted her life to the care and education of children, including her own 3. There's 3 of us right here! I think this is more about "getting me one of THOSE" than family values.

If your read my post completely I stated that not all American women were as stated...stereo typing is wrong. However there is enough of it to be extremely alarming...and you do not know what I want nor do you know how damn hard I worked to make my marriage work. I ONLY want a companion that is willing to contribute to the relationship as earnestly as I do.

Yeah, better import them...they're more easilly controllable, eh? tsk

I'm done here! hah!

[Ken and Inna 0]

Yes, well, I just hope their wives/fiancees know they were picked based not on who they are but on what they can do for the guy...

Wrong again..you jump to assumptions to much...I picked the region of the world that had good strong family values and then talked with many ladies and let my heart lead me to the right match for me. I am completely capable of taking care of my self....washing clothes, cooking, ironing, child raising...blah blah blah. I need nobody for anything except companionship and love...while I know you want to label me as antiwomen and superiorist shovenistic man who wants to enslave women..but that is false and complete BS.

[denali_1963 0]

As far as american woman initiating most divorces maybe you are right. I intiated mine. Got sick of being the only one that worked and coming home and seeing dad sitting on the couch drunk and stoned. Of course he didn't want a divorce i supported him for many years (for the sake of the kids). I see many woman at work going through same thing (Dads not working). Now i know there are many good american men out there dont' get me wrong but you know they are just too hard to find and so i went foreign yes. So this subject can go both ways. Peace

[djcess 0]

Would be a shame if she had her own mind once coming/getting to the states.

Does Dr. J Stand for JACKASS?

INDEPENDENT FEMINIST" woman that alot of American women have become?? I just don't want that negative influence to come into my wife's mind.

MAN....I think EVERYONE here misunderstood me. Sounds like mostly women responding...and if so then I guess what I thought was right......BUT........I was only asking if people have wives that are the same when they met as they are now. MOST American men know how ALOT of AMERICAN women are........don't even have to go into explaining that #######. I guess the men scared to speak up..........Guess I got my answer. Some of us went to other countries to find wives........now ask yourself why bring a woman from another country into the United States if there are SOOO MANY GOOD WOMEN HERE??????

My goodness...not even 5 mins after I posted......get HATE MAIL......no one understands anymore......

Just make sure that you treat her like I treat my spanish speaking wife from Spain. First, never let her meet other women, who might teach her some English and put evil thoughts in her mind about having her own life and mind. She might even learn English and enroll in one of them College courses to learn more about life, and may even develop skills where she could get a good job and be independent of you.

Second: Do even think about her getting EAD. Then she would want to work, and she would even meet more people. Third: Dont ever let her drive and get a drivers license. She may not have to depend on you and be able to get around on her own. Make sure that this never never happens. And Lastly: You may want to consider putting off her AOS and alsays threaten her that you control the key to her green card. Just lead her just a little and make her think that she will get it, but this is just a guise. Make sure that she never has the money to file the papers.....SSN is out of the question.

Just follow the Desert_fox's rules and you will never neve have a problem. She will always be home cooking a scrubing. Bring a couple of you old girlfirends home once in a while. Us men need to stick together, against them independent American wimmin THAT HAVE MINDS, EDUCATION and SKILLS.

[Aymerlu 3]

Dr. J

80% of divorces are originated by the wifes.

That's because the women are the smart ones that get the he$$ out of a bad relationship. I know of too many instances where the homelife was a wreck, cussing, name calling, working her a$$ off at a 40+ hour a week job OUTSIDE the home and then come home to another full time job. In the instances I know of, the man is in his comfort zone so why would he want a divorce? ****now I will run and hide****

[govols 0]

I am another American woman who filed for divorce 4 years ago from my "American husband". We were married almost 14 years. My ex and I couldn't agree on things. He wanted to cheat, I didn't agree! He wanted to stay out all night and drink, I didn't agree!

Should I have stayed to be the "faithful, loving wife"?????

I don't think so!

Don't stereotype American woman and we won't do the same to YOU!

*waited to post until I was certain this thread wasn't another VJ joke!

Edited May 11, 2006 by govols

[Fandango 1,439]

Yes, well, I just hope their wives/fiancees know they were picked based not on who they are but on what they can do for the guy...

Wrong again..you jump to assumptions to much...I picked the region of the world that had good strong family values and then talked with many ladies and let my heart lead me to the right match for me . I am completely capable of taking care of my self....washing clothes, cooking, ironing, child raising...blah blah blah. I need nobody for anything except companionship and love...while I know you want to label me as antiwomen and superiorist shovenistic man who wants to enslave women..but that is false and complete BS.

and we wonder why USCIS investigates our petitions, lol

[Aymerlu 3]

MOST American men know how ALOT of AMERICAN women are........don't even have to go into explaining that #######. I guess the men scared to speak up..........Guess I got my answer. Some of us went to other countries to find wives........now ask yourself why bring a woman from another country into the United States if there are SOOO MANY GOOD WOMEN HERE??????

Well.....MOST American women know how A LOT OF AMERICAN men are........and that is why I found my wonderful man in another country.

*all you good american men....not shootin this at ya*

[Ken and Inna 0]

Dr. J

80% of divorces are originated by the wifes.

That's because the women are the smart ones that get the he$$ out of a bad relationship. I know of too many instances where the homelife was a wreck, cussing, name calling, working her a$$ off at a 40+ hour a week job OUTSIDE the home and then come home to another full time job. In the instances I know of, the man is in his comfort zone so why would he want a divorce? ****now I will run and hide****

Perhaps if she was smart she would not have got in that kind of relationship in the first place...however that is not close to my previous situation...my ex worked 15 jobs in five years. quit her job while I was in a planned transition period that I saved for to look for a better job...bare in mind we had a new born a home and no income because someone hurt her feelings at work...responsible mother...right? By the way the above listing sounds like a typical bad boy situation. My wife left me for her best friend which was at the time a friend of mine...She got a tattoo and he called her white trash, they have been shacking up for 4 years, he will never marry her, does not like kids, makes her buy her own groceries...my money her money, pay her percentage share of the bills, kicked her out of the bedroom cause she snored (sounds like the guy you decribed above). What an improvement from someone who took turns getting up at night with the baby, cleaned house, kept the yard, tried to give her everything that I could within my power, kept my son solely afterwork for three nights a week while her and prince charming went walking for health sake and everyother night while she talked with him on the phone for an hour plus...long distance. Anywho I am not trying to air out my past problems...I for myself have seen way to many nice loving husbands and fathers dumped on by their past wives. I for myself do not care to have a repeat of the past. cheers!

[Fandango 1,439]

Dr. J

80% of divorces are originated by the wifes.

That's because the women are the smart ones that get the he$$ out of a bad relationship. I know of too many instances where the homelife was a wreck, cussing, name calling, working her a$$ off at a 40+ hour a week job OUTSIDE the home and then come home to another full time job. In the instances I know of, the man is in his comfort zone so why would he want a divorce? ****now I will run and hide****

Perhaps if she was smart she would not have got in that kind of relationship in the first place...however that is not close to my previous situation...my ex worked 15 jobs in five years. quit her job while I was in a planned transition period that I saved for to look for a better job...bare in mind we had a new born a home and no income because someone hurt her feelings at work...responsible mother...right? By the way the above listing sounds like a typical bad boy situation. My wife left me for her best friend which was at the time a friend of mine...She got a tattoo and he called her white trash, they have been shacking up for 4 years, he will never marry her, does not like kids, makes her buy her own groceries...my money her money, pay her percentage share of the bills, kicked her out of the bedroom cause she snored (sounds like the guy you decribed above). What an improvement from someone who took turns getting up at night with the baby, cleaned house, kept the yard, tried to give her everything that I could within my power, kept my son solely afterwork for three nights a week while her and prince charming went walking for health sake and everyother night while she talked with him on the phone for an hour plus...long distance. Anywho I am not trying to air out my past problems...I for myself have seen way to many nice loving husbands and fathers dumped on by their past wives. I for myself do not care to have a repeat of the past. cheers!

It sounds like you have some serious issues with closure...however, i do feel I have to point out the obvious:

A REAL responsible wife & mother wouldn't have a job outside the home the first place! hardly traditional, isnt it? What kind of traditional man allows such disobedience!?!?!?!

*sarcasm mode off*

Ok, now I will REALLY try to refrain, but I'm having too much fun!

[pedroh 21]

no comments..

but a lot of people are missing the point.. only merc got it.. and dr j.. i understand what u mean.. but people here think u're a chauvinistic pig who wants to control ur wife with an iron grip..

true.. stereotyping is bad..a family who can barely pay a mercedez will be found in USA as in Mexico or in any other country.. but i think everybody's missing the point of dr j.

what is considered 'controlling' 'chauvinistic' in USA is considered a 'value' in probly Latin America.. and it's a value there.. no one has the right to call it a 'controlling measure and to treat women as 2nd class citizens'.. is just a different way of thinking.. period.. one think I agree with.. is with the normality of divorces.. true, sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes teh husband is an abusive mofo' and u really need to get away from him.. but.. I think people and media are making the divorce a normal 'lets try again'.. a common thing, almost comparing it to the level of sacred marriage.. and that is very wrong indeed..

I've heard lotta times people in their 4th marriages.. true, sometimes one is not the guilty of failure, but.. I think they should consider if they are made for marriage.. or they just want the moola from the divorce arrangements..

example..

I don't like my wife to dance with anybody.. i've never liked it.. I dont dance with other girls either.. first she started with the 'ohh but american girls do it, no big deal'.. and I was.. nope.. nope.. of course we were both inexperienced, trying to get smart-assy with each other.. by now.. if she goes to a girls nights out (which i dont have a problem with it anymore lol) she doesn't dance with any boys around.. why, i dont like it.. and that doesn't make me chauvinist or 'controlling'.. I dont see a problem where a partner feels a certain thing is wrong or doesnt like it..

there are values that are different.. like the girls nights out, or whatever.. and, not because in one culture its not used to it, it means its an archaic culture..

[Ken and Inna 0]

I am not judging any given person. I they are cheating, lying, sorry, abusing...then certainly who could fault you for leaving them!!! not I. However I do not hang around the kind of men you are speaking of...it has generally been the reverse in the ones I am familiar with. I truly am not trying to stero type anyone. However I have had indepth conversations on the subject with even other women who were objective and they admitted many of the references I have made to be true. Granted as my sister stated...it would be best not to state it publicly since women would probably rip you a new one...as some are tryng to do now. Look you can classify men however you wish..I do not know the percentage of bad men, husbands, fathers etc. I would not be offended in the slightest...why...because I know within my being that I have always made the effort to treat everyone as I would want to be treated and always try to better myself in my personal short comings. I put my family before myself and give 100% not just 50% to the relationship...many can't honestly claim this.

Good night to everyone...sorry for ruffling anyones feathers. I am not anti-women or anti-womens rights I am simply pro-family and pro-traditional values and if that is a problem then tough. Me and my fiancee see eye to eye and that is what is important...not what anyone else thinks.

[Fandango 1,439]

no comments..

but a lot of people are missing the point.. only merc got it.. and dr j.. i understand what u mean.. but people here think u're a chauvinistic pig who wants to control ur wife with an iron grip..

true.. stereotyping is bad..a family who can barely pay a mercedez will be found in USA as in Mexico or in any other country.. but i think everybody's missing the point of dr j.

what is considered 'controlling' 'chauvinistic' in USA is considered a 'value' in probly Latin America.. and it's a value there.. no one has the right to call it a 'controlling measure and to treat women as 2nd class citizens'.. is just a different way of thinking.. period.. one think I agree with.. is with the normality of divorces.. true, sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes teh husband is an abusive mofo' and u really need to get away from him.. but.. I think people and media are making the divorce a normal 'lets try again'.. a common thing, almost comparing it to the level of sacred marriage.. and that is very wrong indeed..

I've heard lotta times people in their 4th marriages.. true, sometimes one is not the guilty of failure, but.. I think they should consider if they are made for marriage.. or they just want the moola from the divorce arrangements..

But the point that you're missing is who's to say you can't find that in America too?? I believe in specific male roles & female roles. I do believe men and women are equal..but very different! And for someone to say they have to look outside their own country for 'good family values' in a woman is ridiculous, let alone insulting to American women.

Sure, some people get divorced too quick...but some people in other countries are stuck in something long dead. Who's to say what's better? It's all about finding balance with one particular person who shares your views...not by saying 'American women aren't traditional enough' when that actually CANNOT be true on a whole. That's what I'm taking umbrage with.

What defines traditional? Staying in a bad marriage? Deferring to a man? Not working? Feeling bad for wanting a nice car? Living in an overcrowded home? Seriously, what is it that defines what is soooo sought after that no American woman has? Cos no one is going to sit here and tell me that I, as an American woman, don't give my relationship my all & that I'm not committed enough to my family.

It seems to me that what defines 'traditional' to some of the men in here is needing to be NEEDED and having a woman DEPENDANT on him to the point that it gives the man some kind of sense of security that she won't leave. That's why this topic started in the first place. The OP is bricking it that his woman is going to see she has choices, and not want his insecure ### anymore. And that's kinda sad.

example..

I don't like my wife to dance with anybody.. i've never liked it.. I dont dance with other girls either.. first she started with the 'ohh but american girls do it, no big deal'.. and I was.. nope.. nope.. of course we were both inexperienced, trying to get smart-assy with each other.. by now.. if she goes to a girls nights out (which i dont have a problem with it anymore lol) she doesn't dance with any boys around.. why, i dont like it.. and that doesn't make me chauvinist or 'controlling'.. I dont see a problem where a partner feels a certain thing is wrong or doesnt like it..

there are values that are different.. like the girls nights out, or whatever.. and, not because in one culture its not used to it, it means its an archaic culture..

Ps. pedroh...I'm American & I wouldn't dance with another man. I wouldn't expect my man to dance with another woman either. That has nothing to do with where either of us are from, it's called our balance.

What are you looking for? That woman who called everyone here who goes to male gynos whores? Gotcha!

Edited May 11, 2006 by LisaD