Livin' on the Edge

[Fixer 0]

Those of us inside the Visa process know what it is like to wait. The mutual reassurances that last for months, the attempts at distraction and humor whenever one of you sees something troubling on the news, and the final sheer determination of waiting those final few days.

I am by no means a veteran of the visa process. I am, however, an analyst and a quick analysis of how USCIS in California seems to operate at present is that they only post updates once a week, and usually on Tuesday. There may be the occasional straggler but the bulk seem to be publicly updated on Tuesday.

Until yesterday, I hadn't given this much thought until it came close to time for Ivona and myself to get electronic notice of our NOA2. We both waited, refreshing the webpages every few minutes for nearly the entire day. Her being several hours ahead of me, I continued even after she succumbed to fatigue. The results of our actions: frustration.

The dates of approval run right up to the date CSC said we submitted the application (which is two weeks AFTER I express mailed it to Texas, which then forwarded it to CSC). After months of waiting and hoping and watching the numbers and getting our hopes up by analyzing the way CSC was processing, it is like having someone put the chain down right in front of us and being told, "sorry. You have to catch the next ride." All the buildup of hope, all the patience maintained, all the mutual reassurance that it should REALLY be this batch... broken in 24 hours.

I really should not complain. I know there are others who are still waiting from January and before who have not heard word themselves. They stood where we stand now and I am not sure where they get their reserves of patience and resolve but may whatever Powers there are bless them for their strength.

That part of me that is selfish, however, still can't get over the frustration. That part of me realizes that we are RIGHT HERE. We can see the end. Both of us are 100% boring as far as the government is concerned. No criminal histories. No travel to even remotely hostile countries. We are both college educated and have held steady jobs for years. All paperwork prepared with perfect professionalism and with ample documentation to demonstrate not only a relationship but a willingness to commit to the long term.

*sigh*

We have all heard the phrase: It's not fair. In my life I do my best never to utter this phrase simply because I find myself always answering, "Life's not fair, get used to it." In this instance, though, those words wish to issue forth from my mouth at a volume that would scare those who know me. The frustration building up wants to boil over and seek some target in which to vent... but I refrain. I concentrate on the moment and try to use that frustration to more productive means. I contact my congressman again, only to be told (again) that California still has almost a month and that their office can't help me yet. I make it through the USCIS automated call system to discover that their organizational structure prevents their customer service reps from giving any more information than I can get from their web site.

Peter's Laws, from which I have snagged many good life philosophies, states: "Bureaucracy is a challenge to be conquered with a righteous attitude, a tolerance for stupidity, and a bulldozer when necessary." Never before in my life have I ever wanted to rent a bulldozer and just go steaming into the USCIS buildings to ask for a case status (not hurt anyone, of course, just make a point).

The part of me that feels the worst, though, is that part of me that wants so much to reassure Ivona that we really are next in line and that we won't end up like others whose dates come... and then go with no word one way or the other. I have a hard time proving it with numbers and she does not share my level of faith in justice. I cannot even reach out to place a reassuring hand upon her shoulder except within the bounds of cyberspace. I feel helpless in my resolve, stymied but not broken.

To those who have stood here before me, and to those who will be here tomorrow, I offer to you the advice that I give myself in this moment and offer to Ivona as well. Today is just a day, just like tomorrow and just like yesterday. Until someone discovers a cure for the plague of bureaucracy it is simply a disease we must suffer through when it infects our lives. No, it's not fair. Yes, it sucks. Yes, you will survive and tomorrow could be the day when the fever breaks and the sickness passes and you can finally begin the rest of your life together with your love.

[Fandango 1,439]

erm, yeah. ok!

[Fuzzness 2]

patience..... patience....

[Melo 1]

I know exactly how you feel... we got our NOA2 approved December 29th 2005; our petition was sent to the wrong place and it is only now that things are moving for us - I have the medical tomorrow and the interview on the 7th June... all I can say is hang in there... vent about things here on VJ - you will find you have a wonderful support structure that helps you pick yourself up when you feel low.

[Mr. Big Dog 10,747]

Livin' on the Edge...

As I always say: If you are not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room!

[MrMrsKnight 0]

Livin' on the Edge...

As I always say: If you are not living on the edge, you're taking up too much room!

that goes to the quote thread! loved it!

[Anastasia 1]

No matter how long is the wait, it's worth the lifetime together afterwards

Good luck to you and I hope soon you and your love will be reunited

[jelti 0]

I appreciate you taking the time to write your account and words of encouragement. Keep focusing on that end, which will truly be the beginning.

Blessings~