Need opinion/advice

[JelloShotGirl 0]

I will try to make a long story short- I need some thoughts on this :

Our landlord might be selling the home we are renting. We are not in a position now to buy a home at all. We are just starting out. We dont have a lot of money but we are "surviving" paying all our bills and responsibilities.

I (American) have been living on my own since I have been in my late teens . I am 36 now.

My husband(Pinoy) lived at home until he was 38 and came to live in America with me.

My husband keeps bringing up moving back into my parents house to save money, for our future, maybe a business. I know we could save a lot of money moving in with them short term , maybe for a year or so, however.........the reason I left home in the first place years ago was becuz of my mom........we do not get along at all.She is loud, nosy , screams a lot and I can't take it I know if I move back in i will be sacrificing my "mental " health. I know my husband doesnt really understand this concept, "not getting along with my mom." He thinks I should just ignore her and we can save money for our future. I know we could save if we move back there but deep down I know i will lose my mind and I am worried what will happen to our marriage if we move back there. I know it would be easier if we could live there though and save some money, but I dont think it will work.

Please "guys" I would like your "Pilipino" thoughts on this and "American " thoughts on this issue. Thanks!

[N360 0]

Personal opinions are always tough to give because someone will always disagree with you. But Im ok with that. Besides, you asked for filipino thoughts. :-)

I am a filipino, born and raised in the Philippines but I moved to New York City when I was 18 and I am 40 years old now. I have been here in the states for a while and dated/co-habitated with American women ever since. Because of my situation (or experience) I completely understand your dillema and if I were you I wont move back with your parents.

But I am afraid this is just one of those "cultural differences" that will be hard for your filipino husband to understand initially. Filipinos in general have such close family ties that its not easy for us to understand why certain things like moving back with your folks is so hard.

In all my years here in the US, I wasnt able to figure out how to make American women really understand our culture (or me). In fairness, I also wasnt able to figure out American women. So I gave up and looked for a filipina and settled down with a filipina in the end. he he. Who knows.. maybe I just really did not fall in love with an American.

But the point is... there are many, many cultural differences between filipinos and Americans. And I think it is easier for an American man/filipina woman couple to adjust than vice versa. I wish I know how you could make him understand you but you're gonna have to try. Your husband does not have a clue how unhappy this would make you. Money is just money. Your mental/emotional health is more important. Not to mention how this would affect your marriage.

Just my .02. And good luck!

Edited June 6, 2008 by NoelandTintin

[envy_me 18]

it's gonna be hard for him to understand you.. IMO

cos we filipinos mostly grew up with our families..

even extended families sometimes...

so we're used to different kind of attitudes..

loud, noisy, screams and nags.. bring it on baby!

we'll try and be able to handle it..

uhm.. IMHO, if u can atleast survive on ur own i would suggest u live on ur own..

i mean.. yes u can save money but..

i dnt think it's gonna be a good idea to move to ur parent's house..

not just cos u dnt like it there and that u gonna be dealin with her everyday..

but ur married now and that i believe that it is more proper to take responsibilities on ur own..

and also i think movin to ur parent's house will affect ur marriage..

like cos u gonna have a hard time dealin with ur mom then u gonna have an argument with ur husband abt it..

i mean.. that would be an additional thing to think of..IMHO..

what i would suggest is that you try to talk to ur husband..

and that tell him u "REALLY" think it's not a good idea to move there..

tell him everything u feel abt his idea..

and also listen to what he's gonna say..

try to meet halfway.. if u both could..

c'mon..

he's ur husband.. im sure he'll understand u more than anybody else..

Edited June 6, 2008 by envy_me