Divorce on a condtional green card

[InOverMyHead 0]

Hey.. I'm 20 yrs old.. I'm a US citizen married to a non-citizen.. we met when we were 16 and went out for 2 yrs before we got married when in August 06.. I come from a really strict family so they didn't agree to us getting married because we're different religions but I did it anyway (they all stopped talking to me).. He got his Conditional Green Card in May 07 & the interview was SO SIMPLE! They didn't ask questions, we had pictures from our court marriage (we were going to wait till we finish college or at least till we save up enough money to have a really great extravagant wedding & maybe till then my parents would forgive me for taking such a big step without their support n be there for the religious ceremony), we had other pictures from all our birthdays we've spent together, trips we took together, graduations, etc etc... anyway.. after that we started having a lot of issues. We're young, we rushed.. we made a lot of bad decisions & we both agree.. I actually filed for a divorce but then took it back because I hadn't thought it through and thought I could make it work, & the lawyer turned out to be REALLY shady (another story all in itself).. but here we are again still having problems & regrets.. What my question is that.. well we're both wanting to file for divorce.. but I don't in any way want him to get screwed over with immigration if he's divorced when he goes for his permanent green card next May.. On the other hand now my family whom I have missed so much is telling me if I leave him they will take me back.. & I know it sounds so strange in this day & age for any family to be this way but they're very old fashioned n I can understand why they stopped talking to me.. so I really want to get this divorce done with and me & him are going to try to be friends.. but since we are young.. we don't have much together, the place we live is actually his mom's.. we have a couple bank accounts together but we never bought a car or anything coz again.. we're just college students working our butts off to pay for college.. & I know if we get divorced we need to prove it was a bona fide marriage.. I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN PROVE IT! We went into this head over heels in love, just out of high school.. thinking love was all we needed and now we both realize we are definitely too young to be married & it's causing strain on the friendship we have always had before our relationship.. u know? Hopefully you guys can help me figure out how to go about this whole situation before we go to a lawyer and start the process because it's really expensive and we are basically working really hard to just get by.. Thanks guys & I'll appreciate all the help I can get.

[BlakeandOlha 0]

Hey.. I'm 20 yrs old.. I'm a US citizen married to a non-citizen.. we met when we were 16 and went out for 2 yrs before we got married when in August 06.. I come from a really strict family so they didn't agree to us getting married because we're different religions but I did it anyway (they all stopped talking to me).. He got his Conditional Green Card in May 07 & the interview was SO SIMPLE! They didn't ask questions, we had pictures from our court marriage (we were going to wait till we finish college or at least till we save up enough money to have a really great extravagant wedding & maybe till then my parents would forgive me for taking such a big step without their support n be there for the religious ceremony), we had other pictures from all our birthdays we've spent together, trips we took together, graduations, etc etc... anyway.. after that we started having a lot of issues. We're young, we rushed.. we made a lot of bad decisions & we both agree.. I actually filed for a divorce but then took it back because I hadn't thought it through and thought I could make it work, & the lawyer turned out to be REALLY shady (another story all in itself).. but here we are again still having problems & regrets.. What my question is that.. well we're both wanting to file for divorce.. but I don't in any way want him to get screwed over with immigration if he's divorced when he goes for his permanent green card next May.. On the other hand now my family whom I have missed so much is telling me if I leave him they will take me back.. & I know it sounds so strange in this day & age for any family to be this way but they're very old fashioned n I can understand why they stopped talking to me.. so I really want to get this divorce done with and me & him are going to try to be friends.. but since we are young.. we don't have much together, the place we live is actually his mom's.. we have a couple bank accounts together but we never bought a car or anything coz again.. we're just college students working our butts off to pay for college.. & I know if we get divorced we need to prove it was a bona fide marriage.. I DON'T KNOW HOW I CAN PROVE IT! We went into this head over heels in love, just out of high school.. thinking love was all we needed and now we both realize we are definitely too young to be married & it's causing strain on the friendship we have always had before our relationship.. u know? Hopefully you guys can help me figure out how to go about this whole situation before we go to a lawyer and start the process because it's really expensive and we are basically working really hard to just get by.. Thanks guys & I'll appreciate all the help I can get.

I'm sorry for your perdicament. First of all since you do not have any kids or any real property of significance you generally do not need a lawyer to conclude such a simple divorce proceeding. There are actually legal aid groups that can help you fill out the paperwork and file it correctly. You don't need a lawyer for this.

How this divorce affects his ability to have conditions removed is a layer of complication that really isn't your responsibility after the divorce is finalized.

Take care of business and best of luck to both of you.

[warriorprincess 0]

It is hard when you have to be faced with the reality that your marriage has fallen apart. I assume you got married right out of high school. Yes 18 is too young to make a serious commitment like marriage. People think that if they have love and love alone everything will be okay. But there must also be a certain level of maturity to go along with that. You are still young, only 20, and you have so many questions, regrets. You are probably thinking that you should have waited a few more years. These are normal feelings and thoughts. I really do wish you all the best and that you will eventually find someone who will stand by you, love and cherish you.

As to the other question about his green card well you should try and seek the advice of someone versed in those matters. But be careful who you go to as you already had a bad experience with one shady lawyer.

[pushbrk 13,079]

If you divorce, he can immediately apply to remove conditions on his own. Provided he entered into the marriage in good faith to begin with, he should be successful.

Google "removing conditions after divorce".

[ninjarocket 1]

A divorce can be very cheap if you are both in agreement and have no disputes over property or kids. Disputes only make the lawyers rich. Mine cost me just $75 without ever going anywhere near a lawyer in 2004. I wqs married to my x-wife from Belgium for 4 years (after previously being gf and bf for 6 years). My x-wife filled out most of the paperwork with help some of her female work colleagues who were more experienced with divorce matters. I took the paperwork to the court building to get it processed. Never saw the judge. A clerk took the paperwork to be signed by the judge while I waited for a few minutes. The whole process only took about 30 minutes. Most of that was taken up by photocopying.

[InOverMyHead 0]

thanks everyone for the help.. but still wondering about how hard it will be for him to get his permanent green card? any help with that?

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Definitely make sure you have a detailed letter, notarized, from his mother explaining your living circumstances together, the arrangements you have with her regarding room and board and state that yours was a true and legitimate marriage. Get notarized letters from anyone in the University/College who also know/knew you as a married couple verifying yours was a true marriage. Have you sought any counseling? You might consider that as you can also submit that as evidence of a valid relationship. Many colleges have student facilities that can help with this. Did you jointly file your income taxes while you were married? That is more evidence of your relationship. Do you have driver's licenses or state ID's showing the same residential address? Ask the registrar at the college for copies of each of your registrations filed with the College to verify the same address - or if they can't release copies of the actual documents, a letter from the Registrar (notarized again, if you can) verifying that you both listed such and such address as your home address and listed each other as your 'spouse'. Definitely copies of your joint accounts and not just one statement from each, but samples from the whole time you were married. Do you have a credit card together? What about health benefits? Even copies of junk mail sent to either or both of you where you live would help.

If your family is willing, even including letters from them stating that the marriage was valid and that they strongly disapproved and that is one of the reason for the divorce, might help. The important thing is to show that the marriage was indeed for the right reasons even though it didn't survive.

Good luck, and I am glad you are willing to help your husband remove conditions on his residency. I am sorry that your marriage didn't work out, but glad you are remaining friends.

Edited June 1, 2008 by Kathryn41

[pushbrk 13,079]

thanks everyone for the help.. but still wondering about how hard it will be for him to get his permanent green card? any help with that?

As I said before, as long as he entered the marriage in good faith, he can remove conditions on his own after the divorce and there's no need to wait until 21 months have passed. Google "removing conditions after divorce" for more information than you could possibly consume on the subject. There's nothing unique about this.

[Steve Y Jessica 1]

I am sorry to hear about your situation. Yes, you got married very young. And I think that it is something for us all to remember that love is not enough for a good marraige. A good marraige is alot of work every day, it is one of the hardest jobs you will ever do. Because no two people are the same, it takes alot of communication, understanding, compramise, and love. Fighting and differences are part of a normal relationship, it is what makes us human. It is how we talk and resolve the problems that makes the difference. Me and my wife have an agreement to talk things through and not to go to sleep mad.

But when you are talking divorce, it is important not to just give up, seek as much help as possible. Go to counceling, if religious, talk to the head of your church or whereever you attend. Make sure you have done all possible. I was married for 15 years, and the last 5 years was just trying to make it work.

But, if you are still friends, and you are concerned about this, there are things you can do. Unless one of you wants to get married, you can just remain married for the time being and lead seperate lives. there are advantages such as tax reasons. But I think you should do research on removing conditions.

As far a a divorce goes, you can do it without a lawyer. Your case sound pretty simple. You do not have much together so it seems like it is just a matter of paperwork. You can learn alot about the process doing research on the internet, and most family law courts have free legal advise that can help you with the paperwork. Or also, if you are in agreement with everything but you do not feel comfortable with the paperwork, you can have a paralegal do the paperwork for you, which is much cheaper that a lawyer.

Good luck!

[InOverMyHead 0]

Thank you everyone.. I know we could stay married till then but we both need to move on with our lives.. we're both thinking of moving out of the state, me with my family and him on his own.. so I think the sooner we get the divorce the better.. I still want him to not have any problems but he's worried to death that if we divorce he's going to be deported.. though he wasn't here illegally, he was here on his dad's working visa (h-1? h-4??) and then we got married.. plus the rest of his family got their green cards so if he wasn't married he would have gotten it by now.. though I don't think immigration would care about that fact right?

[pushbrk 13,079]

Thank you everyone.. I know we could stay married till then but we both need to move on with our lives.. we're both thinking of moving out of the state, me with my family and him on his own.. so I think the sooner we get the divorce the better.. I still want him to not have any problems but he's worried to death that if we divorce he's going to be deported.. though he wasn't here illegally, he was here on his dad's working visa (h-1? h-4??) and then we got married.. plus the rest of his family got their green cards so if he wasn't married he would have gotten it by now.. though I don't think immigration would care about that fact right?

How many times do you want to see the same answer before you believe it?

Google "removing conditions after divorce".