Wondering what other sites he/she is on??

[Nasturtium 500]

I dont get it. i mean how did ya'll find dirt on your SO? i type in the email address for both of us, and it just shows that we both have a myspace and facebook...nothin else..is there something im missing?

I think then you just click on that and it takes you to their site and from there you can look at who are the friends, etc. That's what I am guessing they did anyway, or some of them.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

I dont get it. i mean how did ya'll find dirt on your SO? i type in the email address for both of us, and it just shows that we both have a myspace and facebook...nothin else..is there something im missing?

I think then you just click on that and it takes you to their site and from there you can look at who are the friends, etc. That's what I am guessing they did anyway, or some of them.

right. u have to dig in the dirt.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

oh well, thankfully, there is none...

[caybee 21]

FWIW, as far as it showing new activity... I tried to put in the address of someone I encountered years ago who I was fairly certain was a scammer, just to see what came up. Nothing did at first. I put it in again later, and there was "new activity" from 20 minutes earlier, but no sites or anything. Then I realized I had put in an incorrect address, left out the underscore. And the new activity must have been where I first plugged in the incorrect address -- it created a record for it at that time, and now that "person" has a record and reputation just based on the incorrect address I plugged in.

By the way, in case not everyone realizes this, the e-mail domain reputation will be low if it's something like a Yahoo or Hotmail address that's easy to get. That has nothing to do with the actual person's reputation. And the Rapleaf score seems more of an indication of how much data showed up rather than a person's actual "reputation" as far as honesty, etc. Rapleaf's job is to collect information, and a person will up their score by making it easier for Rapleaf to find dirt on them. For this reason, I'm not going to plug in my new work address, for example, because by doing so, I would be making that information public, and I'm guessing I'd be spammed there pretty quickly. It's a clever thing, enticing people to provide details of themselves and their loved ones that they might not otherwise by promising to reveal secrets. In a sense, they're collecting data and then offering bits of that data in order to collect more data.

This is not to discount what a Jackie and Olivia found. I don't know the details, but I realize Rapleaf was just the starting point and the disturbing information was found elsewhere, and I'm very, very sorry you both are going through this. All I'm saying is just to be very careful about dates that Rapleaf itself indicates. It would be a horrible thing for doubt or worse to be injected into an otherwise healthy relationship or marriage based on activity that appears to be recent but in reality is not, or in reality doesn't even exist but was created by the search itself. Rapleaf is flawed and has an ulterior motive, and we are so vulnerable when we are separated from our loved one for an indefinite period that the slightest moment of insecurity for whatever reason can make the mind just race. Please just be careful with this stuff.

[nunyab 0]

FWIW, as far as it showing new activity... I tried to put in the address of someone I encountered years ago who I was fairly certain was a scammer, just to see what came up. Nothing did at first. I put it in again later, and there was "new activity" from 20 minutes earlier, but no sites or anything. Then I realized I had put in an incorrect address, left out the underscore. And the new activity must have been where I first plugged in the incorrect address -- it created a record for it at that time, and now that "person" has a record and reputation just based on the incorrect address I plugged in.

By the way, in case not everyone realizes this, the e-mail domain reputation will be low if it's something like a Yahoo or Hotmail address that's easy to get. That has nothing to do with the actual person's reputation. And the Rapleaf score seems more of an indication of how much data showed up rather than a person's actual "reputation" as far as honesty, etc. Rapleaf's job is to collect information, and a person will up their score by making it easier for Rapleaf to find dirt on them. For this reason, I'm not going to plug in my new work address, for example, because by doing so, I would be making that information public, and I'm guessing I'd be spammed there pretty quickly. It's a clever thing, enticing people to provide details of themselves and their loved ones that they might not otherwise by promising to reveal secrets. In a sense, they're collecting data and then offering bits of that data in order to collect more data.

This is not to discount what a Jackie and Olivia found. I don't know the details, but I realize Rapleaf was just the starting point and the disturbing information was found elsewhere, and I'm very, very sorry you both are going through this. All I'm saying is just to be very careful about dates that Rapleaf itself indicates. It would be a horrible thing for doubt or worse to be injected into an otherwise healthy relationship or marriage based on activity that appears to be recent but in reality is not, or in reality doesn't even exist but was created by the search itself. Rapleaf is flawed and has an ulterior motive, and we are so vulnerable when we are separated from our loved one for an indefinite period that the slightest moment of insecurity for whatever reason can make the mind just race. Please just be careful with this stuff.

I agree... all I want to do is hugg my husband but time and distance won't allow it. When typical couples can make up after somthing we are just left hanging... When we have a disagreement it's hard to read their body language via cam. So many difficuties all add up to making this darn right hard.

My heart goes out to everyone... I should've really considered things before I posted it.

[caybee 21]

I agree... all I want to do is hugg my husband but time and distance won't allow it. When typical couples can make up after somthing we are just left hanging... When we have a disagreement it's hard to read their body language via cam. So many difficuties all add up to making this darn right hard.

My heart goes out to everyone... I should've really considered things before I posted it.

You nailed that one. In some ways, I felt like we communicated better from a distance at times because we could tackle heavy or complex issues without getting distracted by the face-to-face life. But on those days when someone was sick or got hurt feelings over a misunderstanding and we couldn't hug each other or even breathe the same air, that was sheer torture, no doubt about it.

Don't worry about posting the site. I looked, just like most folks did. If I'd found the site first, I might have passed it along. I might still if someone I care about already has a bunch of red flags going up and needs a way to check further. The site has some value, it just isn't perfect and it's someone's money-making venture, so we should just handle with care.

[nunyab 0]

I agree... all I want to do is hugg my husband but time and distance won't allow it. When typical couples can make up after somthing we are just left hanging... When we have a disagreement it's hard to read their body language via cam. So many difficuties all add up to making this darn right hard.

My heart goes out to everyone... I should've really considered things before I posted it.

You nailed that one. In some ways, I felt like we communicated better from a distance at times because we could tackle heavy or complex issues without getting distracted by the face-to-face life. But on those days when someone was sick or got hurt feelings over a misunderstanding and we couldn't hug each other or even breathe the same air, that was sheer torture, no doubt about it.

Don't worry about posting the site. I looked, just like most folks did. If I'd found the site first, I might have passed it along. I might still if someone I care about already has a bunch of red flags going up and needs a way to check further. The site has some value, it just isn't perfect and it's someone's money-making venture, so we should just handle with care.

Thank you for saying that... perhaps some good will come. Getting ready for work and sick to my stomach (why?? no idea) Have a good day ladies and gents.

[SaadBell 0]

To my sisters,

Just because you don’t find anything doesn’t mean a thing, men can be very clever with hiding information, I am sure the BTK killer didn’t have any pages to show that this man was insane and a serial killer. So if you found out about something, than that is a sign that you might have to do a little house cleaning. A real good cheater isn’t going to leave a trail so easily for you to see, fake emails that you have no idea about, so don’t be under the false illusion that all is well. Saying that, don’t go off and start accusing them, than the defenses will go up and finding information will become even harder. Now I am evil when it comes to cheating pigs, so for your entertainment here are few interesting ways to let them know that you are on to them.

First these men are very jealous, so right away make up a male friend; hey they are lying to you, now it is time to play the same game. This male friend will be just your friend, but he will always be around and sweet, and do things that your husband should do, like helping with errands or listening to your problems. Introduce this man slowly, and very casually, here is an example. In an email, not in chat, because this way it sits in his head for a while;

Today I was in a bind, my car broke down, and this wonderful man came to my rescue. The crazy thing about this is we were once childhood friends, and I remembered him when we were little and played in our neighborhood. He helped me get my car towed to the mechanics and drove me home. Later he came over to drop off some lovely food his mother had made, since he knew how upset I was over my car and all that had happen, he just left me with a wonderful dinner, and said that he would help me with anything I need. I think you will love to meet him when you come.

Ok, I think you get the picture, doctor up the letter anyway to make it believable, but put that little thought in his head, ANOTHER MAN. He may ask you about this incident, remember play dumb, he is just a friend, and he knows I am married, but he is worried since I am alone without my husband. If he can cheat, than you can have some male friends, and you are only friends, like he has his female friends. Never get mad, just play sweet and dumb, if the guy is honest, maybe this will give him a wakeup call that you are not waiting in berated breath for his presence.

I know some will not agree with me on this, but remember this is your life, and you are strong smart women, and you do not deserve to be treated like #######. Two can play this game baby. Now if you really want to disturb him, start telling that you are reading a story about this women who found out her husband was cheating and so she killed him skinned him like a cow, and served in up for dinner for his children. True story, the children were not home at the time so they never did eat their father, but the police think she did have a nice dinner with him as the main dish. Be invented when thinking about what to do, make him think really hard, that maybe he really doesn’t know you at all.

Right now I am so mad at all the men that have been doing stupid stuff, and hurting my sisters, I am like a mother bear with her cubs, I lose all sense when I see stuff like this. Hang in there and remember, never never yell, not effect at all, but story telling always makes one think.

[SaadBell 0]

See this is an example of being evil and getting the pig good.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Rajaa, don't feel bad, sis. Some things should be known.

[MelindaandTarek 0]

To Olivia and Jackie

[SaadBell 0]

Brilliant just freaking brilliant

[Alhamdulillah 0]

Brilliant just freaking brilliant

That was AWESOME!!

[sara..... 371]

Brilliant just freaking brilliant

:rofl: :rofl:

[Alhamdulillah 0]

See this is an example of being evil and getting the pig good.

OMG Indian men, Arab men, men from the freaking MOON they are ALL the same!!!! Well at least he's honest about why he likes American women