Wondering what other sites he/she is on??

[♥JP♥ 5]

Regarding the statement of not telling your friends about the intimate details of your relationship, fights, etc. Thats not an uncommon outlook on marriage in MENA. It's the first piece of advice that was given to me by many, including the priest who married us. What happens at home ,stays at home.

Great advice! I concur!

But sometimes you just need to vent or ask for advice, no?

True and I can't say that I never vent. But you have to be prepared for the backlash of it. You may be able to forgive your husband for soemthing he did but that doesn't mean everyone else will. Once you have forgiven each other, I don't think you would want others to see your spouse in a bad light. So as long as you are willing to deal with that , then you can vent.

[sara..... 371]

:bonk:

there is enough fighting and disagreements about islam we dont need to do this on every thread do we........

Edited June 26, 2008 by estadia

[♥JP♥ 5]

:bonk:

there is enough fighting and disagreements about islam we dont need to do this on every thread do we........

This isnt a disagreement about Islam. This is a discussion about marriage, it applies to everyone.

[sara..... 371]

:bonk:

there is enough fighting and disagreements about islam we dont need to do this on every thread do we........

[sara..... 371]

:bonk:

there is enough fighting and disagreements about islam we dont need to do this on every thread do we........

This isnt a disagreement about Islam. This is a discussion about marriage, it applies to everyone.

im talking about the disagreements and rude comments about what each person believes is correct about what is allowed in islam short term marriage and so on

as far as marraige goes thats a complete other thread this was just for what the topic suggested i dont think it was meant to go into a full force into what is right or wrong in marraige if it was the intent of the poster then i apologize but it is not how i understood the the topic

[♥JP♥ 5]

:bonk:

there is enough fighting and disagreements about islam we dont need to do this on every thread do we........

This isnt a disagreement about Islam. This is a discussion about marriage, it applies to everyone.

im talking about the disagreements and rude comments about what each person believes is correct about what is allowed in islam short term marriage and so on

as far as marraige goes thats a complete other thread this was just for what the topic suggested i dont think it was meant to go into a full force into what is right or wrong in marraige if it was the intent of the poster then i apologize but it is not how i understood the the topic

This topic is about checkign what other sites your S.O. uses, nothing related at all to Islam. Either way, its not uncommon for other topics to start in a thread.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Well honey just give it right back to him that you're not going to live like that! Stand up for yourself and say, "This is my house, I am an American, things are different here, I get to do and say what I want pretty much and I'm not going to have my freedoms impeded on, I'm going to share my life with you and that doesn't mean you get control what I do or what I say because I can't live like that."

You most certainly did in the first place. But as we've learned it's not uncommon for mena males and females not to take responsibility for anything they did.

I see, me observing that some people were looking for trouble when there wasn't any was egg slinging.

Why am I not surprised by your comment about MENA people and your attitude?

I'll let you think about that one yourself.

I was born, raised, educated, and continue to live in the U.S. My household was more American and Christian influenced than Iranian and Muslim influenced because my parents moved here as teenagers. If anything, my behavior is more indicative of my American upbringing than my Iranian heritage. Imagine that. I'm just as American as you are, sister, but without the arrogance.

First , you are very arrogant yourself. Second, stop insulting the people of this country and our personalities. I have met tons of Iranians here and they suffer from many of the same things Americans that are native to this country suffer from. Materialism, greed, cultural differences between parents and kids etc.

Sunni Islam and its practicioners practice a very very different islam from Shia ( Iranians) Your religion allows muta, marriage for one hour or one day or one week. The culture can be very different from some of our mena husbands( Iranian culture) I will tell you right now, You being being Iranian doesn't mean a damn thing to me as far as credibility or me listening to you or you telling me "how mena culture is or isnt" You are not even from the same ethnicity or religion or lifestyle as my husband . How you could come on here proclaiming any kind of expertise in MENA or arabs is beyond me because Farsi has no relationship with arabic and sunni islam has ABSOLUTELY no similarity with Shia in lifestyle, marriage or practice. If someone in Iran wants to marry, they can marry for 2 weeks and its completely ok.

Sunnis are alot more restricted in their lifestyle. If I was married to someone who could marry a hooker 3 blocks away, not tell me about it and then divorce her and then get another and then marry again and again all LEGALLY IN shia islam, I sure wouldnt worry about infidelity.

( this is ABSOLUTELY NOT A DIG TO THE SISTERS MARRIED TO IRANIANS HERE>.. Its to make a point to this nitwit. You dont see any of the women married to Iranians trying to tell me about the lifestyle or culture of my husband because they know there are huge differences..... Iranian men can muta and legally and easily. Sunni men are bound by a heck of alot of laws that makes swapping out chicks pretty easy and legally.

I just find you to be on here to show everyone YOUR ARROGANCE,,, not to provide support and care for the rest of us..

And frankly I need it from my friends here..

Dear H.I.T.,

I'm a little bit confused.

When did i ever say anything about the intricacies of our differing sects of religion?

From what I gather, you aren't too bright.

It's this impulsive e-behavior that may have gotten you here in the first place.

Please be mindful of the things you say, and be very sure to keep that quick temper laced with American entitlement that you have in check. Your husband's family and friends won't be very receptive to that. I've seen it before, and it's always the same story. If you act like that, then every time there is a non-married Arab woman around his friends and family will be saying "tsk tsk, what was wrong with Jamilah and the other girls around that Abdel couldn't marry one of them?" There's a woman in our family like that. I usually feel sorry for her... until she opens her big fat mouth and changes my mind EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Overreacting is the #1 cause of trouble in shaky relationships. You've done a fine job of showing that here. I'm sorry that things are difficult for you, but if you relax a bit and think before lashing out, then things on this website, at work, and at home will be much better for you.

regards,

khengool

You are very patronising and have no right to talk about American entitlement. I don't need to be mindful with someone throwing insults towards the people of my country nor do I need to be polite to someone who patronises me and implies or directly says I am not intelligent.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but having traveled all over the world and lived overseas extensively, I find many women that I have met overseas to be extremely condescending to Americans.Its not till many people move over here and begin to live here that they realise the potential of this country to promote a diversity of views. We may be from a "newer civilization" but bear in mind, we don't execute 16 year olds caught kissing in the street, hang teenagers for being gay, we may have a "bozo" for a president but nothing can compare to the moron Iranians have running the joint.

I have pointed this out to many Americans falling into the trap of agreeing with their foreign husbands about how "horrible" the USA is. I frequently point out that NO COUNTRY has the grass roots charitable organizations and everyone pitch in personality as America does. This country offers anything that a person can want to better themselves and after having lived both in MENA and Europe and having seen the racism in Europe against MENA and IRANIANS as well, the USA is a FAR more tolerant place than anywhere on earth despite our hysteria after 9 11. If 911 would have happened in Europe, you would not see the graciousness that Americans offer people arriving here.

My husband who barely speaks English was treated and has been treated AMAZINGLY well by Americans, all trying to help him. He has had several ARABS say cutting things to him, but Americans have been wonderful and helpful.

My short tempered American arrogance as you perceive it has alot more to do with the " Ive seen your kind" experience. You are not in Iran. You are American. You have no right to talk badly for my country.

Frankly, after what I have seen overseas, Americans have alot to be proud of , whether they realise it or not.

[shiri 0]

the rapleap thing is a trip! Wow...

[sandinista! 1,816]

Regarding the statement of not telling your friends about the intimate details of your relationship, fights, etc. Thats not an uncommon outlook on marriage in MENA. It's the first piece of advice that was given to me by many, including the priest who married us. What happens at home ,stays at home.

Great advice! I concur!

But sometimes you just need to vent or ask for advice, no?

True and I can't say that I never vent. But you have to be prepared for the backlash of it. You may be able to forgive your husband for soemthing he did but that doesn't mean everyone else will. Once you have forgiven each other, I don't think you would want others to see your spouse in a bad light. So as long as you are willing to deal with that , then you can vent.

brilliant!

[sara535 15]

You are American. You have no right to talk badly for my country.

Actually, as an American I think he has every right to say whatever he wants. Its called freedom of speech However, Wahrania, I think you have misread his point and are taking this way too personally.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

You are American. You have no right to talk badly for my country.

Actually, as an American I think he has every right to say whatever he wants. Its called freedom of speech However, Wahrania, I think you have misread his point and are taking this way too personally.

Thats fine. She implied that Americans are arrogant. On the contrary, from what I have personally seen, Americans try VERY HARD TO ACCOMODATE others religious beliefs ( you do not see hijab bans etc). I get very bored with the whole arrogant americans and patronising belittling she was dishing. If she was in Iran, American arrogance would be alot more attractive than living with that nimwit president or his predecessor.

As far as I am concerned, its amazing. People move here to better their lives or their parents do and then all of the sudden start berating the joing.

No I do not think I am taking this in any way personally. She came on this thread belittling the women of the mena board and talking trash and patronised the hell out of me.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Regarding the statement of not telling your friends about the intimate details of your relationship, fights, etc. Thats not an uncommon outlook on marriage in MENA. It's the first piece of advice that was given to me by many, including the priest who married us. What happens at home ,stays at home.

Great advice! I concur!

But sometimes you just need to vent or ask for advice, no?

True and I can't say that I never vent. But you have to be prepared for the backlash of it. You may be able to forgive your husband for soemthing he did but that doesn't mean everyone else will. Once you have forgiven each other, I don't think you would want others to see your spouse in a bad light. So as long as you are willing to deal with that , then you can vent.

I have never acted as if I am in a perfect situation. Alot of my issues have more to do with sub culture than culture ( the particular culture of a family or neighborhood or village) and not the general views of everyone from that country.

I know perfectly well that alot of the stuff my husband has done and does is not always correct and I listen very carefully to the other women married on the boards and I like to know how they handled things. Its helped me a great deal.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I believe ' she' is a ' he' .

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I believe ' she' is a ' he' .

I do not know what he or she is. Frankly I do not care. He or she or it came on our boards, never contributing a thing here before and insulted the women of the boards which frankly have been a lifeline for me.

[Nagishkaw 510]

I wondered where you were. I pray all is well with you . Sorry, I just don't keep up like I should.