US Significant Other learning Russian (or any other language)?

[Mrs D. 13]

Hey there, fellow Ukrainians and Russians!!!

(other nationalities are welcome to join as well)

My husband and I are now happily married and we've been together for 3 years now. We get along so well it's not even funny but there's one tiny-little thing: he gets stubborn when it comes to learning Russian. And the issue is not even that he doesn't want to (I wouldn't push him if he didn't)... I can't even describe what it is...

He does speak a little bit and he understands a great deal (it's fun to be able to exchange words around friends and family when they don't understand) but if I start speaking Russian or using new words when he's not "in the mood" he gets grumpy

He spent a year living in Ukraine and can get around no problem. His "point and grunt" method (as he jokingly calls it) with a little bit of Russian thrown on top worked just fine.

Anyway, I know he really wants to get fluent, he is trying and uses words and expressions that settled in his head well quite often. I also notice he understands much more: when I'm on the phone with my family he adds to or comments on what we're talking about. We are making progress but very slowly - I know he can do much much better, I just can't get him to start using it more and try saying new things with my help.

It's a good-natured on-going argument between the two of us and he keeps saying I spoilt him with my English. He also admits that his "ego" gets in the way and I admit that sometimes I get overly excited and over-do it

I just want to be able to share him with my family more next time we go home. They've met him many times and somehow my dad and Michael find a way to communicate without laguage (I can only imagine what it would be like if they could actually talk ). I just feel like they don't get a chance to truely get to know each other

Anyone else with similar stories?

[reeses16 8]

I'm the USC. And I'm learning Amharic, my hubby's first language. Its hard because so different, the sounds, the grammar (you use completely different works for verbs depending on male and female, AND number), the works. I learned most of my Amharic in Ethiopia, before I met my hubby. I spent few months there and basically learned by immersion. Since we've been living in the States I've struggled with grammar. Vocab is better. But like your hubby I chime in on phone conversations too.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I feel it is the duty of an International couple to learn each others languages. I study my Russian daily and use it (in my head) when conducting business. I feel it is especially true when there are children involved. Should a young child be in distress, they will, of course, naturally revert back to their native tongue. I want to be able to help and not feel I need an interpreter, especially if it could be life threatening. IMHO, if you ain't willing to learn, (at least some) then maybe you should have found someone that speaks only your own language.

BTW, I love the ability to speak Russian in an all English speaking community. Being able to speak freely without most anyone else understanding is a huge advantage.

[Mrs D. 13]

I'm the USC. And I'm learning Amharic, my hubby's first language. Its hard because so different, the sounds, the grammar (you use completely different works for verbs depending on male and female, AND number), the works. I learned most of my Amharic in Ethiopia, before I met my hubby. I spent few months there and basically learned by immersion. Since we've been living in the States I've struggled with grammar. Vocab is better. But like your hubby I chime in on phone conversations too.

That sounds cool! I once looked into learning a bit of Swahili when we were going to Tanzania for work.. It seemed quite interesting and HARD. I looked at grammar and some of vocabulary, very similar to what you're describing.

It never got anywhere, cause we were working in an English speaking office and had very little free time.

[DakotaK1 1]

My husband bought some CD's to learn German but has not been learning at all.

I laughed at the way he said something in German one time and then he quit trying,was kinda mean of me I know.

But I do know that when we have kids they are going to lern German also.

How are you guys planning that with your kids/or do it with your kids if you already have some?

[mariapoe 0]

My husband doesn't seem in a hurry to learn any Russian. I know that he wants to but he's so busy that I don't want to push him so hard because learning any language is an exercise that requires concentration and can be tiring and don't want to tire him. He knows about fifty words like cat, car, road, pillow, some verbs, etc, etc, he can name some parts of my body but, in the end, whatever he knows, it wouldn't help him to understand if a person started talking to him in Russian.

Although yes, I'd like him to learn more. My parents/sister/brother-in-law just got their visas yesterday, so they are coming to visit us in August and we're just joking around that, may be, he'll have to get that Rosetta Stone Software to speed up his language studies I wonder if it works.

[Mrs D. 13]

I feel it is the duty of an International couple to learn each others languages. I study my Russian daily and use it (in my head) when conducting business. I feel it is especially true when there are children involved. Should a young child be in distress, they will, of course, naturally revert back to their native tongue. I want to be able to help and not feel I need an interpreter, especially if it could be life threatening. IMHO, if you ain't willing to learn, (at least some) then maybe you should have found someone that speaks only your own language.

BTW, I love the ability to speak Russian in an all English speaking community. Being able to speak freely without most anyone else understanding is a huge advantage.

Good for you! Does Alla speak English?

I wouldn't go as far as calling it "duty" - that takes the fun out of it. A relationship is supposed to be fun.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Yes, Alla speaks near fluent English. Okay, okay... how about "responsibility". While a relationship is fun, it is effort too!

I feel it is the duty of an International couple to learn each others languages. I study my Russian daily and use it (in my head) when conducting business. I feel it is especially true when there are children involved. Should a young child be in distress, they will, of course, naturally revert back to their native tongue. I want to be able to help and not feel I need an interpreter, especially if it could be life threatening. IMHO, if you ain't willing to learn, (at least some) then maybe you should have found someone that speaks only your own language.

BTW, I love the ability to speak Russian in an all English speaking community. Being able to speak freely without most anyone else understanding is a huge advantage.

Good for you! Does Alla speak English?

I wouldn't go as far as calling it "duty" - that takes the fun out of it. A relationship is supposed to be fun.

[Mrs D. 13]

My husband doesn't seem in a hurry to learn any Russian. I know that he wants to but he's so busy that I don't want to push him so hard because learning any language is an exercise that requires concentration and can be tiring and don't want to tire him. He knows about fifty words like cat, car, road, pillow, some verbs, etc, etc, he can name some parts of my body but, in the end, whatever he knows, it wouldn't help him to understand if a person started talking to him in Russian.

Although yes, I'd like him to learn more. My parents/sister/brother-in-law just got their visas yesterday, so they are coming to visit us in August and we're just joking around that, may be, he'll have to get that Rosetta Stone Software to speed up his language studies I wonder if it works.

I certainly understand that Michael doesn't have much time in his hands to actually learn either, and honestly there's no need as I'm used to speaking English anyway.

He can actually build small sentences and we do exchange words so people around don't understand. He says he wants to go back over (to Ukraine) for a while so could start using it more. And that would most likely help.

Hey, could I contact you off-line to ask how your family got visas? That would be awesome if my family could visit for a couple of weeks

[Mrs D. 13]

My husband bought some CD's to learn German but has not been learning at all.

I laughed at the way he said something in German one time and then he quit trying,was kinda mean of me I know.

But I do know that when we have kids they are going to lern German also.

How are you guys planning that with your kids/or do it with your kids if you already have some?

Definitely both languages for kids.. We don't have any yet, but Michael says he wants them to speak Russian very definitely.

Of course it's an effort, I won't argue there

Yes, Alla speaks near fluent English. Okay, okay... how about "responsibility". While a relationship is fun, it is effort too!

I feel it is the duty of an International couple to learn each others languages. I study my Russian daily and use it (in my head) when conducting business. I feel it is especially true when there are children involved. Should a young child be in distress, they will, of course, naturally revert back to their native tongue. I want to be able to help and not feel I need an interpreter, especially if it could be life threatening. IMHO, if you ain't willing to learn, (at least some) then maybe you should have found someone that speaks only your own language.

BTW, I love the ability to speak Russian in an all English speaking community. Being able to speak freely without most anyone else understanding is a huge advantage.

Good for you! Does Alla speak English?

I wouldn't go as far as calling it "duty" - that takes the fun out of it. A relationship is supposed to be fun.

[sara..... 371]

I think that perviz and i are a language nightmare ........i forget english and revert to Spanish if angry, upset, or excited about something lol .....he reverts to urdu.......so what has happened is he has bought cds to learn spanish.......while i can find nothing in urdu.....

[Mrs D. 13]

I think that perviz and i are a language nightmare ........i forget english and revert to Spanish if angry, upset, or excited about something lol .....he reverts to urdu.......so what has happened is he has bought cds to learn spanish.......while i can find nothing in urdu.....

Wow! You guys have 3 Hey that makes life more interesting

Our friends from work back in Indonesia told us a funny story. They are both British and their baby girl goes to school in Jakarta (they've been working there for a couple of years now). So she started speaking Bahasa Indonesia to them when she decides to be difficult.. And they both can't understand her

[sara..... 371]

I think that perviz and i are a language nightmare ........i forget english and revert to Spanish if angry, upset, or excited about something lol .....he reverts to urdu.......so what has happened is he has bought cds to learn spanish.......while i can find nothing in urdu.....

Wow! You guys have 3 Hey that makes life more interesting

Our friends from work back in Indonesia told us a funny story. They are both British and their baby girl goes to school in Jakarta (they've been working there for a couple of years now). So she started speaking Bahasa Indonesia to them when she decides to be difficult.. And they both can't understand her

[bgreed 0]

I have been trying to learn Russian for bout two years now. I have Russian Cd's that I have playing in my truck anytime that I am driving and as long as I have the CD playing I can actually speak pretty good unaccented Russian. As a matter of fact one time I called my wife and when she answered the phone my first couple of sentences were in Russian and she thought it was actually a Russian speaker. Unfortunately I have a terrible time remembering words or phrases to be able to bring them to command and then something will come along and it pops into my head. Lena is always surprisee when this happens like i have this hidden vocabulary of 10,000 words that I can only tap at wierd times. For instance at our sons baptism party she said something to one of her friends in Russian, but I swear I heard it in English and she was amazed that I knew those words.

We both want our sons to speak Russian and to have a bilingual household now if I can ever gain some fluency

[Mrs D. 13]

I have been trying to learn Russian for bout two years now. I have Russian Cd's that I have playing in my truck anytime that I am driving and as long as I have the CD playing I can actually speak pretty good unaccented Russian. As a matter of fact one time I called my wife and when she answered the phone my first couple of sentences were in Russian and she thought it was actually a Russian speaker. Unfortunately I have a terrible time remembering words or phrases to be able to bring them to command and then something will come along and it pops into my head. Lena is always surprisee when this happens like i have this hidden vocabulary of 10,000 words that I can only tap at wierd times. For instance at our sons baptism party she said something to one of her friends in Russian, but I swear I heard it in English and she was amazed that I knew those words.

We both want our sons to speak Russian and to have a bilingual household now if I can ever gain some fluency

That's awesome I know exactly what you mean. That's because you've been listening to Russian and lots of words are now in your passive vocabulary: your mind is used to recognizing them more that reproducing and sometimes they just pop up. That's a great base for developing active vocabulary though

That's what happened to my Japanese... I used to study Japanese in the university. Spent 5 years and got fairly fluent with good pronounciation. Passed my final exam to a native speaker with an A, talking about education system in Ukraine (that was my topic for the speaking part)

And guess what... It's been 3 years since then and I can only prouce basic phrases - I totally lost it as I haven't been using it. However, when I hear it I understand more than I can speak. And sometimes I'm trying to remember a word and I just can't, even if my life was being threatened And sometimes they just come up out of nowhere. Weird...