cheap boyfriend

[Peikko 1,575]

I don't think the method of communication is the most important aspect here. Either these two people are managing their expectations both while they are separated and when they will live together or they are not. It seems that in this case they are not. That needs to be addressed. Any opinions surrounding what sort of people they are is just speculation. They can be happy regardless of what any of us think of them. However, that takes some work in actual commuinication between themselves and not some discussion as to whether or not the boyfriend is cheap.

Edited May 30, 2008 by Purple_Hibiscus

[TBoneTX 45,289]

ADDENDUM: I just read that "he never calls by phone." Find out why not. Do you e-mail often, instead? Does he visit you often? How do you communicate? How OFTEN do you communicate?

I learned, the hard way, after many years of failures, that a solid relationship can develop only after paying attention to things in the beginning, during the getting-to-know-each-other process: You OBSERVE. You LISTEN. You ASK. Failing to do any of these will risk unpleasant surprises later.

[mawilson 2,133]

1. At this point, you shouldn't have a boyfriend; you should have a fiance.

What's the difference? A fiance is just a fancy name for a serious boyfriend.

[sara..... 371]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

popcorn in post 10.

the popcorn theory has been disproven.

[*JG* 2]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

[pcana 0]

YMR

You see you have all different comments here and maybe it will help you communicate more with your fiance on this issue and make you think more about certain issues. If he said he was going to help out and hasn't, I can see how it could put a financial strain on you. Whatever the case, you have to talk to your fiance about this. Asking here is not always a good idea. But some people do have good questions for you.

I'll just let you know something that if this thread goes on and on and you wish you never even asked, you are allowed to ask a moderator to close the thread. (the moderators would be LaL, Mags, and William33).

Well said!! best post...specially the part "asking here is not always a good idea" We all know how it works around here, people jump to conclusions way to easy...

[william_wallace 8]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

Think half the comments in here have been BS.

[Sister Fracas 5]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

When it comes to the visa process, yes, I WOULD agree (which would mean I disagree with you). The fees are high for US citizens sometimes, much less someone who is making a tiny fraction of what someone here would be making. We don't know what the OP's income is....and paying double the fees would not be easy.

Edited May 30, 2008 by Sister Fracas

[amiquechu 0]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

I agree wholeheartedly. Getting engaged to a US citizen isn't like winning the lottery. Poor country or not, they were getting by before. You get engaged to a US citizen and all of a sudden your cost of living doubles? Coincidence? I'm going to go out on a limb and say F-U-C-K NO!!!!!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

When it comes to the visa process, yes, I WOULD agree (which would mean I disagree with you). The fees are high for US citizens sometimes, much less someone who is making a tiny fraction of what someone here would be making. We don't know what the OP's income is....and paying double the fees would not be easy.

I pay for the part from here for the visa, he has paid his part over there, medical, papers etc. We are married and i have not sent him any money since marriage nor has he to me, we each made it fine before and we still are ok, and he barely makes anything, and now im trying to pay up some old bills

[Sister Fracas 5]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

When it comes to the visa process, yes, I WOULD agree (which would mean I disagree with you). The fees are high for US citizens sometimes, much less someone who is making a tiny fraction of what someone here would be making. We don't know what the OP's income is....and paying double the fees would not be easy.

I pay for the part from here for the visa, he has paid his part over there, medical, papers etc. We are married and i have not sent him any money since marriage nor has he to me, we each made it fine before and we still are ok, and he barely makes anything, and now im trying to pay up some old bills

Well that's great...but we still don't know the OPs situation.

[Peikko 1,575]

Yeah, but they don't want to help the OP, they want to express their disgust.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

this is true but we dont know anyones true situation on here...just can generalize in most cases and actually shouldnt matter to any of us what the others do

[Sister Fracas 5]

just my opinion hope none gets upset..........i believe that almost anyone that is engaged or married to someone that is still in a third world country understands that some support is required in most cases.......in my case im lucky because perviz works and earns pretty good for india but in most instances it is not that way........u need to talk to him and tell him how u feel........if u can not talk to him about these things then how will u talk about issues later in the relationship?

I do not know you or him so really it is not fair for me to give my opinion in this issue but ........if it is bothering u then u need to talk to him about it.

I think that is complete BS.

I agree wholeheartedly. Getting engaged to a US citizen isn't like winning the lottery. Poor country or not, they were getting by before. You get engaged to a US citizen and all of a sudden your cost of living doubles? Coincidence? I'm going to go out on a limb and say F-U-C-K NO!!!!!

I'm just playing devil's advocate here because I really don't know the OPs situation (neither do you), but where precisely did the OP say she wanting her daily living expenses paid? And why isn't anyone addressing that the boyfriend already previously agreed to help her out, with whatever it was she needed, so he must have been okay with the idea at some point, and now he has broken his promise? Of course this is based on what the OP is saying because we don't have his side to hear.

I think most people are turned off by the use of the term "cheap" to describe her significant other..and THAT I can understand.

Edited May 30, 2008 by Sister Fracas