cheap boyfriend

[*JG* 2]

The visa process is very expensive. Trips, phone calls, and then the actual costs of the visa and all the things the foreign person needs to take to the embassy. Unless he has a money tree in his back yard, I understand completely.

[almaty 19]

hmmm....since the poster asked for a female response only./ i be quiet but say, brother Platy voiced my opinion well..

Platy for Mod !

[Nessa 23]

she asked for a female response cuz she expected simpathy. If this was asked 100 years ago when women expected their man to support them I would completely understand. But this is so a century ago.

Also, if she was complaining about him having money and not helping with the visa process expenses, I'd also understand. Charles paid for everything related to the visa process cuz I simply couldn't afford. But she gets mad and accuses him of being cheap, like he is obligated to support her financially, I don't agree with that kind of behavior and honestly, and if I were him, I'd find an american gold digger, cuz in the end, they'll turn out to be cheaper.

[almaty 19]

sister nessa, well stated..and you are in excellent form today...brother dean

[*JG* 2]

she asked for a female response cuz she expected simpathy. If this was asked 100 years ago when women expected their man to support them I would completely understand. But this is so a century ago.

Also, if she was complaining about him having money and not helping with the visa process expenses, I'd also understand. Charles paid for everything related to the visa process cuz I simply couldn't afford. But she gets mad and accuses him of being cheap, like he is obligated to support her financially, I don't agree with that kind of behavior and honestly, and if I were him, I'd find an american gold digger, cuz in the end, they'll turn out to be cheaper.

Amen to this.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

My answer as a woman would be: you had a life and was living BEFORE you got a boyfriend so just continue on doing the same life now. He doesnt assume to all of a sudden completely support you if he chooses to help some then that is his choice, but you should be fine living the way you were i would think.

[Cecile and Bryan 0]

I agree with everything that has been said before, that the fiance can decide or not to support his fiancee while she is in her country. What I don't like is what the OP stated there:

Does he think you should pay for the visa process?

Yes, plus he say he is going to send me some money for me helping out and he doesn't. Sometimes I get mad because I think how am I going to deal that while I am there without working.

So he says "I'm going to help you" and then doesn't... that's not really a good thing...

[william_wallace 8]

Seems as though the $hit has hit the fan on this one already.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

I agree with everything that has been said before, that the fiance can decide or not to support his fiancee while she is in her country. What I don't like is what the OP stated there:

Does he think you should pay for the visa process?

Yes, plus he say he is going to send me some money for me helping out and he doesn't. Sometimes I get mad because I think how am I going to deal that while I am there without working.

So he says "I'm going to help you" and then doesn't... that's not really a good thing...

saying im going to HELP.....now by what means and how much the HELP is needs to be agreed upon (maybe one sees one way and not the other)

I agree with everything that has been said before, that the fiance can decide or not to support his fiancee while she is in her country. What I don't like is what the OP stated there:

Does he think you should pay for the visa process?

Yes, plus he say he is going to send me some money for me helping out and he doesn't. Sometimes I get mad because I think how am I going to deal that while I am there without working.

So he says "I'm going to help you" and then doesn't... that's not really a good thing...

saying im going to HELP.....now by what means and how much the HELP is needs to be agreed upon (maybe one sees one way and not the other)

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

How to deal with a cheap boyfriend?

no oral.

[Nessa 23]

I wish hubby's solution for everything was so simple.

[JULIAFERNO 0]

Hmmm. I paid for the initial part of the K-1 process (the petition and the documentation I needed to send to CSC) and my fiance is paying for the latter part that takes place in his country and all of his documentation, etc. We'll probably split his plane ticket over here as ticket prices are pretty steep...although he says he'll cover it, I really would be happy to help. I'm a big advocate for equality and fairness and I don't think any one person should be carrying the bulk of the load My fiance and I have a motto: "Everything is mutual!"

[Amby 490]

why do you expect him to give you money?

[NArocks 13]

How to deal with a cheap boyfriend?

no oral.

[000 0]

One thing that seems strange to me is , here we have a couple that is about to be married yet finances have not been discussed as well as I think they should have. Granted this is just my opinion. You should know a little bit more than he has a good salary, it is true that while living with his parents he should have more money to spend but what if there are some good reasons to why he is living with his parents, did he go bankrupt and is trying to get back on his feet, is his credit card debt way more than he can handle, or are there other reasons. Money should not be expected from anyone just because they have more of it. Now if you were here and he prefers to spend his money like water on silly things rather than take you out to a nice resteraunt or buys you some tube socks for your birthday then the word cheap could be used. I really dont think people from other countries understand that yes we have a good life in america because we consider some things to be a part of everyday life that other countries see as luxury but what is not seen is how hard we work for our things and that our money does not go that far. I consider my self to have an average salary and once all my bills( house, food, insurance, personal care products , etc) are paid I have about 350 dollars per month to spend how I want to. Have I sent my wife money ? Of course, but not for her to go out and just spend, there was a time where she would go to a cyber cafe everyday to talk to me for the cost of 3 Brazilian Real per hour so to help her out I bought her a laptop and started paying for her internet bill every month, she needed some english classes so i paid for those too, pretty much things that I saw as being important I helped her out. And in some cases she would say "OMG i saw a very nice pair of shoes but I dont have the money to get them right now" i would look to see if i had the money to give her and give it to her if i felt i wasnt going to break myself in doing so. She also understands that if i decide to do so it is my choice and she would never ask for money just to have money, she is very involved in my finances and is aware that after all is said and done I dont have much left and I would like to enjoy the money that i have worked very hard for as well. Does this mean I am cheap? No of course not, she was living her life the way she was before I married her and there is nothing in marriage that says your life will become wonderful overnight. Here, when people are married they help each other, it is very rare to see a "house wife" who does not work and is only supported by her husband, this life is reserved for rich people, and dispite what other countries think we are not all rich here, we just have things in our everyday life that we take for granted because it is everyday life for us. I think my wife understands how lucky she is in that I do save the little money that i have left for things like trips to see her and expenses that we will have while going through the immigration process and not just spend it on the things i would have as a single man, my playstation 3 hasnt seen a new game in a very long time and my dvd collection has not gotten any bigger either.