Curious MENA question...

[Nasturtium 500]

well you asked the question on how to deal with ur in-laws.... right? Well I think you have heard from a few muslims and so I think this might have helped you to understand wher ur in laws are comming from...right? This really has givin you some insight.

Obviously the ones who are agnostic or atheist are not very common or you might have heard from more of them.

I believe ur inlaws are not a problem... the problem will be between u and ur husband and the difference in ur 2 differenciating beliefs. If you can overcome that then the inlaws will be a breeze.

At least you kno the muslims standpoint on this matter now

No, I asked how people who are agnostic and atheist with MENA muslim husbands dealt with (or their husbands dealt with) the religion question with their inlaws. I am not agnostic nor atheist, and I do not need help in dealing with my inlaws.

[Nothing1234 2]

Hi! Now hopefully we can get in a few good replies and this won't go south...

I know some people on here are more or less agnostic or atheist. I was curious as to if you sort of keep this to yourselves when you meet your MENA spouse's family, if they know, or if even your spouse knows...

Obviously many MENA people are Muslim, several are Christian or Jewish so it would sometimes be an issue with some families, same as it can be an issue with families here, but I was considering the married to a Muslim aspect of it. Some people really don't care one way or the other. That's their business.

If anyone has an experience they would like to share, I would love to hear it. Otherwise, thanks for reading and good luck in your journey

Wow, hardly one response for ya! LOL

I will try to answer from my experience (not direct but friends/family) since my fiance and I are Muslim...most people on here like you said are newlyweds or close to it...so its glorious I'm sure. (not all....don't jump me peeps! LOL) I know his family and while they are "open-minded" (if they don't say so themselves...lol) they'd have made his life a bit difficult if he'd married a Christian or other. He's strong enough to have made his decision on his own but there would be a struggle. I think the only issue I'd see here later on is children and how they are raised. In my experience, many men will claim their open minded ways but when faced with raising children, this can all change. So while hiding things from ones family might work for a while...later on the couple is faced with raising children and such. I'm sure if people discuss these things prior then there is not an issue but I find that many do not plan this far ahead. BTW---I'm not really sure how one can "hide" their religion/lack of from family...most families are very direct and will ask straight out!

Hope that was a response you were looking for....

[Nasturtium 500]

I hope you like the lemon cuke! They are really cute and delicious. I heard they are easy to grow. I wonder why they don't sell them more.

You know I have the greatest pumpkin bread recipe somewhere I will send you if you want!

I hope so too! They did look absolutely precious! I am glad yo hear you say that too- -I thought I was the only one who thought food was cute or not cute. I don't know why epople don't grow more variety. Really, I think it comes down to convention. It's an old heirloom though, since 1880? 1860?

I can trade you recipes! I use my grandmother's and it's great!

[sereia 0]

Oh sweet! I'm always up for trying new and improved versions of things!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'll answer your question specifically. I'm a Muslim and a mother-in-law. If any of my 5 kids, male or female, showed up with an atheist, agnostic or secularist with the intent to marry, we would have a serious problem. This is not allowed in my faith and I don't understand why any practicing Muslim would accept it from their Muslim son. I know most would not accept it from a daughter. We're sending our sons to hell with such indulgences, even if they only intend to get a green card thru marriage, two wrongs don't make a right.

Edited May 27, 2008 by Virtual wife

[Nasturtium 500]

Wow, hardly one response for ya! LOL

I will try to answer from my experience (not direct but friends/family) since my fiance and I are Muslim...most people on here like you said are newlyweds or close to it...so its glorious I'm sure. (not all....don't jump me peeps! LOL) I know his family and while they are "open-minded" (if they don't say so themselves...lol) they'd have made his life a bit difficult if he'd married a Christian or other. He's strong enough to have made his decision on his own but there would be a struggle. I think the only issue I'd see here later on is children and how they are raised. In my experience, many men will claim their open minded ways but when faced with raising children, this can all change. So while hiding things from ones family might work for a while...later on the couple is faced with raising children and such. I'm sure if people discuss these things prior then there is not an issue but I find that many do not plan this far ahead. BTW---I'm not really sure how one can "hide" their religion/lack of from family...most families are very direct and will ask straight out!

Hope that was a response you were looking for....

Thanks Nawal! I thank you for your response! It's that family pressure/involvement that was having me wonder some things about this as being a difficult thing along with the obvious associated cultural and religious taboos.

I'll answer your question specifically. I'm a Muslim and a mother-in-law. If any of my 5 kids, male or female, showed up with an atheist, agnostic or secularist with the intent to marry, we would have a serious problem. This is not allowed in my faith and I don't understand why any practicing Muslim would accept it from their Muslim son. I know most would not accept it from a daughter. We're sending our sons to hell with such indulgences, even if they only intend to get a green card thru marriage, two wrongs don't make a right.

Thanks for the answer, VW!

[Alhamdulillah 0]

Sorry, proof that the Tanakh is altered in any way.

I'm sorry, I should be more clear.... I know Christians consider the OT to be part of the "bible" but when I say "bible" I mean the injeel which is, supposedly, the NT.

As far as the torah.... who authored Deuteronomy? Moses couldn't have possibly authored it and wrote his own obituary in Deu. 35:5-7. Also, there are other contradictions in the OT that proves it's not the actual, unaltered words of God because God doesn't make errors.

As far as the NT, there are many missing books, not to mention that there is nothing that was written in Jesus' lifetime or even immediately after he departed this Earth.... not until at least 50 years later. Then there is the issue with Paul, a well known pagan/jewish christian slayer coming along with this grand story that Jesus never spoke of and is actually against everything Jesus taught.

[Donna A 4]

my inlaws know im christian and are fine with it. no one ever said anything about it at all. my father in law told my husband he was happy that he married me, his uncle made the comment the first time i was there that i should marry him so it seamed no one cared at all as long as i believed in God.

[Nasturtium 500]

I'm sorry, I should be more clear.... I know Christians consider the OT to be part of the "bible" but when I say "bible" I mean the injeel which is, supposedly, the NT.

As far as the torah.... who authored Deuteronomy? Moses couldn't have possibly authored it and wrote his own obituary in Deu. 35:5-7. Also, there are other contradictions in the OT that proves it's not the actual, unaltered words of God because God doesn't make errors.

As far as the NT, there are many missing books, not to mention that there is nothing that was written in Jesus' lifetime or even immediately after he departed this Earth.... not until at least 50 years later. Then there is the issue with Paul, a well known pagan/jewish christian slayer coming along with this grand story that Jesus never spoke of and is actually against everything Jesus taught.

Meh, it's late Clarity happens

I think most Christians will think of the "Bible" as being both the Tanakh (for those who don't know, that is the Torah, writings, and prophets which is, in its entirety, the OT) and the New Testament (Brit Hadashah). What would be these other contradictions? And what would be the contradiction between Paul (Rabbi Shaul) and Yeshua? The oldest copy of the Qu'ran is in Turkey, isn't it? And it is about 150 years after Mohammed. For quite some time the Qu'ran was memorized and passed down/around that way. How is that any different than the NT? What would be these "missing books"? If you're refering to the apocrypha or the like books, those aren't "missing" or "hidden", although they do not pass the scriptural test. There are many ahadeeth which are considered weak or invalid, same thing-- they do not pass the test. I don't think Muslims as a whole are trying to "hide" them as a conspiracy. There are two schools of thought as far as Deuteronomy. Either it was dictated to Moses by G-d, or Joshua finished the last part of it. I a, in favor of the latter. G-d does not tend to reveal the entirety of your death to you, although He can and does at times. So either could be valid.

[Alhamdulillah 0]

I'll answer your question specifically. I'm a Muslim and a mother-in-law. If any of my 5 kids, male or female, showed up with an atheist, agnostic or secularist with the intent to marry, we would have a serious problem. This is not allowed in my faith and I don't understand why any practicing Muslim would accept it from their Muslim son. I know most would not accept it from a daughter. We're sending our sons to hell with such indulgences, even if they only intend to get a green card thru marriage, two wrongs don't make a right.

Ditto.... all except the MIL part And that I wouldn't accept my daughter marrying anyone other than a muslim man

[Nasturtium 500]

my inlaws know im christian and are fine with it. no one ever said anything about it at all. my father in law told my husband he was happy that he married me, his uncle made the comment the first time i was there that i should marry him so it seamed no one cared at all as long as i believed in God.

Hi Donna-- are you practising if you don't mind my asking? Just curious, and not judging at all.

[Donna A 4]

i do the best i can.

[Nasturtium 500]

i do the best i can.

Thanks

[SaadBell 0]

[Nagishkaw 510]

I'm sorry, I should be more clear.... I know Christians consider the OT to be part of the "bible" but when I say "bible" I mean the injeel which is, supposedly, the NT.

As far as the torah.... who authored Deuteronomy? Moses couldn't have possibly authored it and wrote his own obituary in Deu. 35:5-7. Also, there are other contradictions in the OT that proves it's not the actual, unaltered words of God because God doesn't make errors.

As far as the NT, there are many missing books, not to mention that there is nothing that was written in Jesus' lifetime or even immediately after he departed this Earth.... not until at least 50 years later. Then there is the issue with Paul, a well known pagan/jewish christian slayer coming along with this grand story that Jesus never spoke of and is actually against everything Jesus taught.

Meh, it's late Clarity happens

I think most Christians will think of the "Bible" as being both the Tanakh (for those who don't know, that is the Torah, writings, and prophets which is, in its entirety, the OT) and the New Testament (Brit Hadashah). What would be these other contradictions? And what would be the contradiction between Paul (Rabbi Shaul) and Yeshua? The oldest copy of the Qu'ran is in Turkey, isn't it? And it is about 150 years after Mohammed. For quite some time the Qu'ran was memorized and passed down/around that way. How is that any different than the NT? What would be these "missing books"? If you're refering to the apocrypha or the like books, those aren't "missing" or "hidden", although they do not pass the scriptural test. There are many ahadeeth which are considered weak or invalid, same thing-- they do not pass the test. I don't think Muslims as a whole are trying to "hide" them as a conspiracy. There are two schools of thought as far as Deuteronomy. Either it was dictated to Moses by G-d, or Joshua finished the last part of it. I a, in favor of the latter. G-d does not tend to reveal the entirety of your death to you, although He can and does at times. So either could be valid.

Great post, Julianna. So far, Im learning so much from you an VW, the ways in which you word things that are easy to understand.....well, you ladies rock!