The First Day...

[Jeraly 4]

Just kinda putting it out there really - because of Jeremy's work situation, it is looking more and more likely that we are going to get back to the house midnight PST and then 8 hours later he will have to be in work while I fend for myself dealing with not knowing anyone, being scared and lonely and nervous and emotional in a new country...

It should be fine - I mean I have dealt with it before when he has had to work, but it all just seems so... sudden.

I just wondered if anyone else had this, did you/your OH take time off work at first or was it straight back to the rat race? How did you cope being thrown into "normal life" straightaway?

[Carol and Bruno 0]

Just kinda putting it out there really - because of Jeremy's work situation, it is looking more and more likely that we are going to get back to the house midnight PST and then 8 hours later he will have to be in work while I fend for myself dealing with not knowing anyone, being scared and lonely and nervous and emotional in a new country...

It should be fine - I mean I have dealt with it before when he has had to work, but it all just seems so... sudden.

I just wondered if anyone else had this, did you/your OH take time off work at first or was it straight back to the rat race? How did you cope being thrown into "normal life" straightaway?

When my fiance gets here I will take a week vacation to spend with him. I will introduce him to my friends and take him around so that he becomes familiar with the area. I'm hoping that he arrives here when it's still summer so that he can engage in outside activities such as soccer. That way he can make his own friends and have them to call to do things when I'm not around. I'll also have him get his drivers license so that he can explore the city when I'm at work. Being able to drive also helps to not feel confined to the house. I also plan on spending my lunch breaks with him. I just plan on doing anything that will keep him from feeling lonely while I'm at work.

It will be much easier for you since English is your first language. My fiance speaks very little English, but he makes friends easily. I do hope it's a smooth transition for you. Don't be afraid to get out there and make friends. Once you begin working and settling into a routine you will feel much more relaxed. Just make sure that you two are working the same schedule.

Good luck to you

Edited May 24, 2008 by Carol and Bruno

[Cassie 8]

When I first got here, I took the first day to sleep and rest because I had been up for 15+ hours the day before.

Then the next 5 days were taken up with preparing for our wedding. Jerry had to work, but my parents flew in on day 4 to be helping hands.

Day 7: wedding!

Days 8-10: hanging out with out of town guests

Day 11: put my parents on a plane back home and went on our honeymoon

Day 15: first day of real life -- Jerry had to go back to work

I spent the first little while doing post-wedding stuff -- thank you notes, putting away presents, etc etc

Then I worked on cleaning and organizing the house a bit, unpacking the stuff I had brought with me, spent time on VJ and just started the process of settling in. Jerry made a point to help me find things, like the closest grocery store, bank, post office, library, etc etc. And we would go out and explore the town a bit every week. And he was great in calling me during the day to make sure I was doing ok., and letting me have free reign in re-arranging the house. I liked not having to work right away, because I was able to have the time to do things at my own pace. Once I learned how Tulsa was set up and got used to driving around, that was great for me. And Jerry's friends and fellow church members were great too.

[~krakatoa~ 27]

When I got here, my husband had the weekends off (he also works on Saturdays) and went back to work immediately on Monday. I can totally relate with what you feel.

I was scared to go out, but I forced myself. I went to the city library, went to buy the groceries myself by walking, even if it took me some miles just so I could look around the new environment. Everything seemed to happen so fast (but not our engagement). I had problem with sleep and had struggled through different kinds of adjustments (people, food, weather, culture, time difference, sleep, etc.). Give it some time and you'll feel better.

It is important that your husband supports you in each and every way with the adjustments. I started to feel a bit at ease with my new enviroment on my 6th month if I remember precisely.

Edited May 24, 2008 by krakatoa

[Jeraly 4]

Yeah - I think it just feels like I am being catapulted into a new life and there won't be anyone there to catch me, you know? It doesn't help that we have had so many massive changes right as I am about to leave - very scary stuff

[Vi Mazzella 4]

I have to say that I was very lucky. Hubby is a teacher and has all the summer off, so when I came here on July 3rd 2005 we got to spend the whole summe together, sweet!

We went to explore NYC together and had an awesome time. Then he went back to work in september and I had to stay home for 1 week, I joined a gym, went to the library, to visit my in laws that live around the corner, and clean the house I don't know how many times . The second week I was already bored and went to explore the city by myself (Oh my God I was so nervous!) with my resume in hand, That day I found my first job at the MET museum!!!!

Good Luck!

Vi

[Dr. Obvious 49]

There was so much to do once my husband got here, it was ridiculous. He came on an IR-1 and although there were no doubts about me, there were still doubts about new country and all.

Here is my advice, immediately start looking for volunteer opportunities. My husband found his current job though volunteering and I think he would have gone a little crazy to be stuck in the house 24/7 with our daughter all day. It is fun and he gets to meet all kinds of people and he does the work he loves to do. You can get job references out of it and use it as US work history if relevant. I recommend it a lot.

[greeneyedgirlfl 0]

Darren is arriving on a Monday evening (about 8 PM). I have to work for the next three days (summer school 7:00 AM-6:15 PM); after that, we have almost the rest of the summer (till mid-August) together. We're applying for our marriage license on Tuesday afternoon after work (I'm taking night school off, so I'll get out of work at 2:45), and we'll go to the courthouse on Friday...and then the AOS paperwork begins!!! Hopefully, we'll get that sent off by Monday...

[stardusted 0]

Even though I'd been the St. Louis three times before I moved there for a year, I had never been completely on my own, so when Chris went back to work the morning after I arrived, I felt really lost. I unpacked, watched television, surfed the Internet, and felt completely sorry for myself. It took weeks before I felt comfortable driving places myself and stopped getting lost. I didn't work right away so was not making money, but spending it, and I hated that feeling. It was also winter and I was cold all the time, and couldn't be outside a lot, and generally coped quite badly with moving. It took me about six months to get to a point where I felt happy (finally!). Those first six months all I wanted was to return to Bangkok, and now I'm in Bangkok and can't wait to go Home to St. Louis. It's hard no matter how prepared you are.

[Tegan 0]

Ray took a week or so off when I arrived, but once he went back to work, I was feeling very lonely and sad for at least the first 6 to 8 months it was really hard to deal with especially since his in the Navy and would go underway for weeks at a time. I would go food shopping and pay bills then sit at home or sit in front of the computer waiting for him to come home. I couldn't work right away but I got my work permit and found a job, I made friends and it got a little easier. As of right now I've been in the US for about 3.5 years have been working for just over 2 years. and i'm doing pretty good now...

if you ever need to chat PM me

[govols 0]

I didn't find the first few weeks a problem to cope with as it was just like being on holiday in a new country, so much to see and find out and no work to worry about. Its the next year or more thats harder, it is a long process adjusting to a totally new way of life where everything is done differently.

Tony

[catrocks 0]

I think I got here on a Thursday and Ben had the Friday off, so we had a long weekend together. When he went back to work on the Monday I unpacked, caught up on my sleep, grocery shopped, did wedding things etc. The first month was actually the easiest - it was after that, waiting for AOS that was the worst. Oh and of course now, when nobody will hire me

Don't worry Aly, I'm sure you'll be fine. You'll need a couple of days to catch up on your sleep - walk around, relax, watch TV and let your family know you arrived safely.

It is super scary but you survive

[Marilyn. 340]

well, I got here on a Saturday and hubby was tired from working nights all week.. so I basically watched him sleep that first weekend and then he had to go back to work on Monday...

I am still trying to cope after 3 years of living here

[StillThePrettiest 3]

I guess today is my first day

I mean, yesterday was really, but it was a public holiday, and we went out with Dave's parents, and did a whole lot of shopping and so on, so it was a bit like a bonus holiday... Dave's back at work today, and I'm home alone, and very happy

I've done loads of cleaning (Dave said he cleaned, bless him, but I guess there were things he didn't get to before leaving for Aus ), including the stove, and a huge amount of ironing, and I've been going out and moving the sprinkler round the yard, and stopping periodically to marvel at all the wildlife in the garden (squirrels, and sparrows, and doves, and some birds I don't recognise, and a toad, and a rat ), and pinching myself when I see something classic, like all the American flags in people's front gardens, or a yellow school bus dropping kids off

I'm having a lovely day... and many more to follow, I hope

don't feel lonely in the slightest... but then, I rarely do

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Just kinda putting it out there really - because of Jeremy's work situation, it is looking more and more likely that we are going to get back to the house midnight PST and then 8 hours later he will have to be in work while I fend for myself dealing with not knowing anyone, being scared and lonely and nervous and emotional in a new country...

It should be fine - I mean I have dealt with it before when he has had to work, but it all just seems so... sudden.

I just wondered if anyone else had this, did you/your OH take time off work at first or was it straight back to the rat race? How did you cope being thrown into "normal life" straightaway?

Rat race--on which I can top you; we reached our home @ 01:00 and I woke up @ 05:00 to be in to work @ 06:30.