Muslims

[Aymsgirl 0]

Rajaa,

I agree with Jackie that this could possibly be a start of depression. Many of us have had to deal with this during our journeys. I know for myself that when I was separated from my husband I would cry over anything. I would talk to him and cry thinking oh my gosh, he will close his cam, when will I see him again. I caught myself snapping at my kids and staying in the home like a hermit. I didn't take medication but I am not saying that I didn't need it. My thoughts are with you and if you ever need to talk just send me a PM. God bless!

Tasha

[♥JP♥ 5]

Salam,

I need some help from my fellow sisters and brothers..... something is going on with me and I am not sure what to think. my husband and I've only been apart for not even two months yet but I've found that the last two weeks I couldn't sleep at all... I would try but couldnt... I wasn't interestd in eating and cried alot. He has now gotten his visa to work in Spain we talk maybe 30 min. now since right before he left on the computer... I now am able to sleep but now it's like Icannot get enough sleep!

I am now always tired, never want to leave the house (this is not like me at all). I just drink coffee to wake me up I can cry at the drop of a hat and I have headaches everyay. I don't talk to any of my friends anymore unless I make myself. I miss my husband soooo badly but knew ahead of time this would be a long hard process.

I am typically a very strong woman... it's a good thing he has a job and a visa to Spain (proves to the U.S. Consulate when he gets his interview he is not using me to get out of his country) and I just got a new job that will pay much more and have alot more vacation time.

So what's the deal???? I am a fairly new convert and this is my first summer wearing the hijab. A friend called me to tell me it's typical for people in the NW who wear hijab to have a vit D difficiency could this be a cause?

Any suggestions are welcome please...

Rajaa

I don't see what wearing hijab would have to do with this. As Jackie said, it sounds like symptoms of depression. We have all been there, everyone copes differently. I was seperated from my husband for 18 months and just found ways to deal with it. I'm not saying it didnt get the best of me at times but I didn't want to take meds. Staying in the house is only going to make it worse. You need to get out of the house and focus on the big picture.

If you aren't convinced that it isn't a Vit D deficiancy, take a multi vitamen. But more importantly get out of the house!

[nunyab 0]

Thank you ladies.... I am going for a walk. I am glad to feel I am not the only one thank you.

as far as the "hijab" thing goes my friend says cause we dont' get much sun in the NW and then cover when we do get it we typically have a deficient vit D difficiency... I know the first thing that will help. Get my butt outside.

I am going out now.... and thank you for your understanding... it is a touch embarrassing

[Nasturtium 500]

Sounds like mild depression.

I fail to see how wearing hijab would cause vitamin D deficiency-- you're not getting a lot of VitD from your neck. Now covering up your arms and legs would be a much bigger factor-- but judging by your pic, you're a very fair-skinned person and shouldn't have an issue. Fair skin is designed for this-- this is why cooler climate peoples are usually more fair and warmer are darker-- the more dark you are, the more skin that needs to show in order to manufacture the same ammount of Vit D as a fairer person-- fairer people from cooler climates tend to cover up more and our hands and faces are more or less about all the whitest of the white need to show in order to get enough D.

I know people always think of it as a skin cancer/burning issue and in a sense it is-- but it's moreso a Vit D and folate issue (darker skin protects you against the destruction of folate in the skin by the UV rays-- so you can again expose mroe skin and not end up with folate deficiency and still manufacture D as well.). Obviously, if you're in a warm climate wearing some pretty skimpy stuff, you're going to need more sun protection on your skin but also consequently it takes more exposure to light over a larger area of skin to make the same ammount of VitD. The real problem is for people of darker skin tones who have moved to more extreme upper and lower lattitudes (upper bing the real issue-- like Europe, North America) becoming VitD deficient. it's one of the main reasons they started VitD milk-- studies showed many African Americans had Vit D deficiency living in places like NYC, etc. I'd be careful about rushing in to dose yourself with VitD-- it's a non-water soluable vitamin, and it is possible to easily overdose.

[~Jackie~ 30]

julianna, girl you r smart u musta wenta skool

jJ

[chaishai 1]

Thank you ladies.... I am going for a walk. I am glad to feel I am not the only one thank you.

as far as the "hijab" thing goes my friend says cause we dont' get much sun in the NW and then cover when we do get it we typically have a deficient vit D difficiency... I know the first thing that will help. Get my butt outside.

I am going out now.... and thank you for your understanding... it is a touch embarrassing

I get short term depression I guess you would say around certain events. Like a stressful situation. If I have a job interview I will go to bed at like 7:30pm not because I want to be rested but because I dont want to think about it. Or if I had a stressful milestone at work coming up in a few months I would say "oh I cant wait until its four months from now and over". Then someone told me I shouldnt wish time of my life away. You might not see your husband for 6 months or a year but do you really want to sleep/wish time away until then? We only have a certain amount of time on this earth so focus on things that make you happy besides him and do them. Or set a positive goal for yourself like you want to learn arabic before he comes or you want to lose weight before he comes (i have no idea how much you weigh so dont take that personally, its just something that has worked for me). Maybe get more active in the womens group in your religion if there is one and if there isnt one maybe gather up the women and make one? Work sucks for me right now, my husband has been working non stop and my vacation in israel is not until the end of August. So instead of saying I cant wait for the end of August and wishing all of that time away I have put myself on a weight training regimen and have a few goals for myself physically before then - I want to look a certain way and I dont want the time to go by too fast hat I dont make my goal. See what I mean? It just helps when you want time to go by faster to fill it with something worthwhile. Hope this helps if not ignore!

[chaishai 1]

Sounds like mild depression.

I fail to see how wearing hijab would cause vitamin D deficiency-- you're not getting a lot of VitD from your neck. Now covering up your arms and legs would be a much bigger factor-- but judging by your pic, you're a very fair-skinned person and shouldn't have an issue. Fair skin is designed for this-- this is why cooler climate peoples are usually more fair and warmer are darker-- the more dark you are, the more skin that needs to show in order to manufacture the same ammount of Vit D as a fairer person-- fairer people from cooler climates tend to cover up more and our hands and faces are more or less about all the whitest of the white need to show in order to get enough D.

I know people always think of it as a skin cancer/burning issue and in a sense it is-- but it's moreso a Vit D and folate issue (darker skin protects you against the destruction of folate in the skin by the UV rays-- so you can again expose mroe skin and not end up with folate deficiency and still manufacture D as well.). Obviously, if you're in a warm climate wearing some pretty skimpy stuff, you're going to need more sun protection on your skin but also consequently it takes more exposure to light over a larger area of skin to make the same ammount of VitD. The real problem is for people of darker skin tones who have moved to more extreme upper and lower lattitudes (upper bing the real issue-- like Europe, North America) becoming VitD deficient. it's one of the main reasons they started VitD milk-- studies showed many African Americans had Vit D deficiency living in places like NYC, etc. I'd be careful about rushing in to dose yourself with VitD-- it's a non-water soluable vitamin, and it is possible to easily overdose.

Jullianna - can you overdose on vitamin b? i have been taking it for energy! You are so knowlegeable!

[Nasturtium 500]

Jullianna - can you overdose on vitamin b? i have been taking it for energy! You are so knowlegeable!

Techincally, you can overdose on anything.

http://www.acu-cell.com/bx2.html

That's a list of varying B-overdose symptoms... but... B complex is a water-soluable vitamin set. So assuming you're not chugging like a whole bottle at a time and overdoing your liver, I don't think your taking supplements will really affect anything. Unless someone is on certain meds,strict vegetarian, etc though, most people receive enough b from diet.

The bigger problem is with the non-water-soluable vitamins. Those are not flushed out through your system like the others and so they build up.

[sarahaziz 0]

Raja,

about the Vitamins I heard that alot from my aunts talking to each other that they don't get sun in their hair so it gets really dry and dead texture

how it's linked to depression I wouldn't have guessed or thought that or maybe that's not what you meant at all lol

It was really sad when I came back to USA alone when I thought we would come together. The school of my choice awarded me a scholarship and I knew I had to be smart in decision so I had to come back without him. I would also just stay in the house and never go out with friends. I would call USCIS every other day sometimes everyday trying to understand the process more and more. It was really horrible and I wasn't even working or anything. I hardly ate, slept, talk to my family. He would call me everyday but it's not the same being in 2 different countries. But you know what after I started focusing on school and got a job I started to feel better. I guess I can say if you put yourself in a depressive situation you will become of that. Making extra $$$ and shopping helped me a bit lol . Going out with friends again helped alot too. I think in this long hard process you will get to know your spouse much better good or bad things but you will end up loving him more than ever. This time away from each other really teaches to respect and appreciate WHO you have. The reunion we had wouldn't have been nearly as great if we were just given the visa like that. I hope you cheer up soon!

oh yeah and i have to edit to say good and bad things = his happiness and anger !! not the other things

Edited July 8, 2008 by sarahaziz

[sandinista! 1,816]

Sounds like mild depression.

I fail to see how wearing hijab would cause vitamin D deficiency-- you're not getting a lot of VitD from your neck. Now covering up your arms and legs would be a much bigger factor-- but judging by your pic, you're a very fair-skinned person and shouldn't have an issue. Fair skin is designed for this-- this is why cooler climate peoples are usually more fair and warmer are darker-- the more dark you are, the more skin that needs to show in order to manufacture the same ammount of Vit D as a fairer person-- fairer people from cooler climates tend to cover up more and our hands and faces are more or less about all the whitest of the white need to show in order to get enough D.

I know people always think of it as a skin cancer/burning issue and in a sense it is-- but it's moreso a Vit D and folate issue (darker skin protects you against the destruction of folate in the skin by the UV rays-- so you can again expose mroe skin and not end up with folate deficiency and still manufacture D as well.). Obviously, if you're in a warm climate wearing some pretty skimpy stuff, you're going to need more sun protection on your skin but also consequently it takes more exposure to light over a larger area of skin to make the same ammount of VitD. The real problem is for people of darker skin tones who have moved to more extreme upper and lower lattitudes (upper bing the real issue-- like Europe, North America) becoming VitD deficient. it's one of the main reasons they started VitD milk-- studies showed many African Americans had Vit D deficiency living in places like NYC, etc. I'd be careful about rushing in to dose yourself with VitD-- it's a non-water soluable vitamin, and it is possible to easily overdose.

:thumbs:

i worry a little bit about this with my husband, because of where we live, and he doesn't particularly like to drink milk. we eat fish quite a bit though, so it's probably alright. ayah's pediatrician gave me a vitamin d supplement for her. she said that even though nursing is perfect for her nutritionally, darker-skinned babies where we live can sometimes become deficient.

[nunyab 0]

Interesting, I do cover all but my hands and face... but Julianna what you said does make sense.. Iam feeling better having gone for a walk. Went to the mailbox and foun inside I got my passport with my married name on it... and I sat outside talking to neighbors for @ 2 hours.

Chaishai, I like the "learning Arabic" I started but for some reason I stopped.... I think it's a good time to start again.

Thank you all.... I really don't like this feeling I am in and it feels like I have to baby sit myself.. am I eating? am I sleeping? I have to "take care to watch myself:" If this continues I go see the doc.

Thanks again everyone....subhanallah, knowing I am not alone in all this helps.

Rajaa

[Nasturtium 500]

:thumbs:

i worry a little bit about this with my husband, because of where we live, and he doesn't particularly like to drink milk. we eat fish quite a bit though, so it's probably alright. ayah's pediatrician gave me a vitamin d supplement for her. she said that even though nursing is perfect for her nutritionally, darker-skinned babies where we live can sometimes become deficient.

Oh! that's so good that she was on top of that with your daughter. As far as I understood it, doesn't breastmilk generally contain a fairly constant ammount of each vitamin/mineral/etc no matter what you are doing for yourself, excepting, of course, if you are highly deficient in something?

I actually worry about my Dh for a lot of deficiencies-- he seems to refuse to eat a lot of vegetables, and he refuses to take any vitamins either. Sigh. I'm slowly trying to sneak things into his diet. I know he should get enough sun for 1/2 the year anyway, as he mows the lawn once a week. Fish is a good source of D-- it's what helps the Inuit survive with their darker skin in the northern lattitudes they inhabit So obviously, it works!

Rajaa-- I think many of us went through a similar experience at some point, whether related to this immigration stuff or not. Everyone has something in their life which can trigger a mild form of depression. A big thing is exactly what you just did-- getting out and doing some things, keeping somewhat active, and not allowing yourself to withdraw. there is a time for the latter, but generally it's more healthy to try the former. I am more like Chaishai- -I try to find a kind of goal and work towards it to keep myself active.

[Staashi 371]

I did not have israeli tea but only israeli coffee. It was yucky though, I don't know what they did ito it. It was from the airport:(

and for tajweed, that is where you do intonnation in reading the Koran, no? I only know Fataiha and An Nas (I forget that one though). I am too busy concentrating on my arabic though:) When my husband gets here, we will work together on it by ourselves.

israeli cappucino is very good, israeli turkish coffee is black and like arab coffee if you are into that and if they make it right, but there are two ways they make it sometimes they cook it and sometimes they just mix it in boiling water and call it black coffee.... what you probably had is the most popular (for a reason I dont comprehend) and thats "nes" or nescafe (even though its made by elite company and not nestle or nescafe) It is very very bad instant coffee, and they serve it in restaurants and bars and have at home as well.... Its horrible. I have a beautiful cappucino maker at home it makes amazing restaurant quality cappucinos better than starbucks and my in laws come and i have to buy them a thing of the israeli nescafe and the israeli turkish coffee so that they can just mix it with boiling water. they would rather have this than the cappucino. #######?

shalom hm..funny that you mention nescafe. I think you may be right. Come to think of it, I think that may have been!! sheesh all I had was that and a little cake and it costed me 50 sheckels...for 50 sheckels I want Gourment coffee not nescafe:) Because you're right, nescafe is bad.

hahaha reminds me of my husband's family. I brought over coffee for them because they are in love with American coffee and my husband requested it. I brought it over and all I kept hearing from his family was nescafe blablanescafe, nescafe. For a minute, I thought they thought I brought them nescafe which was wrong....I brought them generic coffee so I felt kinda bad thinking they wanted name brand coffee:( but then I realized after 2 wekes of being with them that no, for some reason the palestinians call every coffee nescafe, lol Even their arabic coffee, lol Kinda funny I thought:) They really should not insult arabic coffee that way you know cuz arabic coffee is good:)

Actually, Nescafe is delicious when prepared as a cafe con leche - very yummy - but with water -blech. But I do love my Starbucks or Arabic or even Cuban coffee - which is just like Arabic...yummy, yummy - and nothing better when you're dragging a$$ and need an afternoon pick me up.

[Staashi 371]

I was very moved the first time I prayed with Ibrahim. His voice was melodic and I could feel from his voice in prayer that our religion is very important to him.

I know it is not good to talk about the ex, but please take it in context..he did not pray. I prayed with him 3 times in 5 years and he was pretty much silent. Looking back now, I feel he was either embarrassed or not into it.

Hearing your SO pray with conviction...is wonderful.

Jackie

You know what they say, "the family that prays together stays together". It really is the truth - even when I think that my DH and I are going through some unbelievably hard times and we both want to run, I pray for God to give us peace in our marriage and He does.

[Staashi 371]

Interesting, I do cover all but my hands and face... but Julianna what you said does make sense.. Iam feeling better having gone for a walk. Went to the mailbox and foun inside I got my passport with my married name on it... and I sat outside talking to neighbors for @ 2 hours.

Chaishai, I like the "learning Arabic" I started but for some reason I stopped.... I think it's a good time to start again.

Thank you all.... I really don't like this feeling I am in and it feels like I have to baby sit myself.. am I eating? am I sleeping? I have to "take care to watch myself:" If this continues I go see the doc.

Thanks again everyone....subhanallah, knowing I am not alone in all this helps.

Rajaa

Pardon my ignorance, but I ask with respect - Do you have to wear hijab at all times? If you don't, I would suggest that you just take off the hijab and abaya and hang out in your yard in private for a little while on a sunny day. I live in Florida and although I don't sit in the sun a lot, I do get plenty of exposure and seem to have excellent Vitamin D - but I do take a supplement to help with some other conditions. I also think that aside from Vitamin D, sometimes just feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin will lift your spirits.

Good luck to you...being away from your husband is so very difficult. When I was away from my fiance, now husband, it was so hard - all I wanted was my fiance to meet my father but my dad died one month before the visa was approved and 6 weeks before he came to the US. These are moments that you can never get back - it can bring you down, but by putting it in God's hands - which you have done, He will bring you both through this.