Muslims

[doodlebugg 10]

Ok... here's something for any hijab wearers... have you noticed people are obsessed with talking about your hair??? I started a new job and all they can do is say things.. ask questions I know they're curious but is it just me... geeez it's just hair for goodness sake!

LOL Ok, I'm used to getting grown folks walking up to me all the time asking "are you not hot in that"... one night in October a girl asked me that at the gas station and I was like..... hmmmm it's like 40 degrees outside! LOL Some friends of mine will actually tell ppl who ask them that "Hell is hotter!!!" LOL but I have always thought that sounds harsh to non muslims and doesn't make for very nice dawah so I usually explain to the "grown ups" that it's really not as hot as it may seem to them because I have shade everywhere I go and the sun isn't roasting my skin

Anyhoo.... on to my hair... yes the girls at work used to ask me all the time... what color is it? why do u color it? (ummm bcoz i gotz a hubby to look good for???) how long is it? Oh I bet it's so long! and in the event they catch me in the bathroom adjusting it "Oh so THAT'S what u look like!!!" like my hair is the ONLY part of me

The cutest thing ever though was when I was substitute teaching a first grade class and the children were trying to figure out why I wear the scarf. They're really too young to get into about religion so I would just tell them I'm cold. Well in this one class these children were just obsessed with getting me out of my hijab! They kept telling me... Ms. Layla, it's not cold anymore, you can go ahead and take that thing off! Finally, after I resisted for a while, one little girl got angry at her classmates and blurted out "Why don't ya'll hush! Don't you know she don't got no hair????!" I should have just left it at that but just as quickly as she finished I shouted "Yes I do!" LOL they spent the last part of the class peaking under it

hehehe that's cute..i just love kids!

I have a question too.. To those who went from not covering...to covering:

I would LOVE to cover coz I really and truely believe it is a great way to find more of a sense of self rather than worrying about how my outward appearance is to others. I'm really worried though and even feel semi-embarrassed to start covering since the ppl I know have already seen me uncovered. Did anyone else feel an initial sense of embarassment or a feeling of it not seeming "right" when u started covering? I'm really having problems with this and could use some tips and stories from others on it. How did you all get thru the initial transition? How long did it take to feel comfortable?

Thanks

amal

Honestly Amal, for me I just had to jump in the pool rather than dip my big toe in first. Had I kept dipping the big toe in the rest of the foot would still be dry. I just did it. Period. Sure people had seen me uncovered but then I'm not trying to please anyone but Allah by doing this. The first week was awkward but not because anyone made it so.....moreso because of my own insecurities but I kept saying I am not doing this for anyone but Allah and in the end He is who I have to answer to, not my peers, you know? Same with praying at work. So what if someone catches me now and then........they are not the ones deciding if I will burn in eternity or not.

I don't even give it a second thought anymore. My biggest concern was the kids but wicked funny...today I went to my youngest's science fair and when I was walking through the playground a little boy shouted SALAM ALAYKUM SISTER!!!!. LOL The world is smaller than you think sometimes.

[amal 4]

that is what I think too about just jumping in and doing it..I'm just a worry wort and it hinders me big time.

I might try just a basic scarf for a while and see how that feels..and work my way to full cover..I'm not sure.

[HLM 1]

that is something that I don't know if I could handle. I dealt with being made fun of and being picked last when I was younger (all coz of curly RED hair and bucked teeth-which by the way str8ened themselves out perfectly all on their own as I got older). I don't think I have the strength to be picked at and ridiculed by ppl who don't educate themselves. lol i'm such a baby when I read that..but oh well..what I am is what I am and I can't change it lol

My humble advice wd be; constant duaa/praying/supplicating asking Allah to give u strength n enuff faith to make u do it... Allah is the only who can make u do it n support u so always ask Him in every prayer and also in the time before fajr adhan; that time is amazing for duaa

[amal 4]

that is something that I don't know if I could handle. I dealt with being made fun of and being picked last when I was younger (all coz of curly RED hair and bucked teeth-which by the way str8ened themselves out perfectly all on their own as I got older). I don't think I have the strength to be picked at and ridiculed by ppl who don't educate themselves. lol i'm such a baby when I read that..but oh well..what I am is what I am and I can't change it lol

My humble advice wd be; constant duaa/praying/supplicating asking Allah to give u strength n enuff faith to make u do it... Allah is the only who can make u do it n support u so always ask Him in every prayer and also in the time before fajr adhan; that time is amazing for duaa

good advice I'll try that. thx

[Alhamdulillah 0]

that is what I think too about just jumping in and doing it..I'm just a worry wort and it hinders me big time.

I might try just a basic scarf for a while and see how that feels..and work my way to full cover..I'm not sure.

At first, I started covering my hair (barely lol) with a small hankerchief. Then I kind of started just wrapping my hair up in something. After I felt more comfortable I started wearing a regular hijab with pants and long sleeves..... then later exchanged the pants for skirts and now I'll usually wear an abaya over it but you'll still see me in a long skirt with no abaya from time to time. The experience is different for everyone mashallah but for me I felt like I was slowly giving other ppl time to adjust to my changes..... You have to know though that dressing modestly was a HUGE change for me LOL

[amal 4]

I can't go for the skirt thing... I HAVE to wear pants coz I can't stand being hot and having my legs touch..it gets too hot! I could wear shorts under that but then thats so many layers that I'd die of heat exhaustion...but I do think I'm going to try the scarf first and work my way up... I asked my co workers if they'd laugh at me if I wore scarfs and they said they wouldn't....hmmm now I just have to "wo-man" up and do it!

[~Jackie~ 30]

Amal, seeing you type about the possibility of taking hijab..gives me the warm fuzzy goosebumps I remember the night you said on messenger, "I'm ready, I'm saying shahada tonight! " How long ago was that? I said my shahada May 5 2002. alahamdulillah.

Jackie

[Alhamdulillah 0]

I can't go for the skirt thing... I HAVE to wear pants coz I can't stand being hot and having my legs touch..it gets too hot! I could wear shorts under that but then thats so many layers that I'd die of heat exhaustion...but I do think I'm going to try the scarf first and work my way up... I asked my co workers if they'd laugh at me if I wore scarfs and they said they wouldn't....hmmm now I just have to "wo-man" up and do it!

I hate that feeling too.... I'll tell you my secret in private

[sara..... 371]

what i do when wearing a skirt is use something like those old fashioned spandex doesnt make u feel hotter by extra heavy layers and also stops ur legs from sticking

[HLM 1]

what i do when wearing a skirt is use something like those old fashioned spandex doesnt make u feel hotter by extra heavy layers and also stops ur legs from sticking

[Nasturtium 500]

I have a question too.. To those who went from not covering...to covering:

I would LOVE to cover coz I really and truely believe it is a great way to find more of a sense of self rather than worrying about how my outward appearance is to others. I'm really worried though and even feel semi-embarrassed to start covering since the ppl I know have already seen me uncovered. Did anyone else feel an initial sense of embarassment or a feeling of it not seeming "right" when u started covering? I'm really having problems with this and could use some tips and stories from others on it. How did you all get thru the initial transition? How long did it take to feel comfortable?

Thanks

amal

Well, I'm not wearing Hijab, but i do cover my hair and I do cover wrist to crewneck to ankle. First thing I did was switch to pants. i did this on my own back in high school at some point. Pants aren't weird, no one is going to mind that. Then, i moved to long sleeves with no deep necks. This was kind of a hard move for comfort... that humidity can be killer. I went to old navy and found some light tunics, and wore tank tops under them. Really helpful was when my Dh had this black chiffon abaya made, and it's 2 layers. you can wear a tank under that with a high neck, and it feels really light, like you don't have anything over your tank top. Depending on how you adjust then you can get gauntlets to cover your arms. last step was covering the hair. I do Jewish covering, so my neck isn't covered. I have worn hijab in Jordan though, so i know how to do it and what it feels like. I would suggest if you really want to cover to start at any time. If you think you may be setting up for fear or failure. try starting to cover in the fall. People wear more in teh cool months anyway. That way you aren't boiling and have time to get used to it. You could also try covering the hair first and then moving to hijab if you're worried about what people think. It's not bad fashion today anyway to cover your hair every once in a while. So you can always just do it occasionally and then move up to all the time then on to hijab... if you're afriad to go cold-turkey. By then people will just be used to it. You'd be surprised. People will ask some dumb quesitons, but the majority of people will not likely say anything.

[nunyab 0]

thx..

it isn't just what others think of me.. honestly, when I've put it on..I not only feel embarassed but like I'm not being myself (if that makes sense). It just doesn't "feel" right and I almost feel silly. I am trying to figure out how to NOT feel that way.

well this is all very new to u so of course it will feel odd at first it is expected really

do u have any support system in place? i mean other muslims that live around u........i think that sometimes deep inside of us if we dont have a support system in our life we feel the way ur describing it......also myself i have found that i have gone thru many different styles of the way i style my hijab........u can like go on line and look at different places that sell hijab and see the way that they style them........maybe its just u have not found the style that u feel comfortable with here is a site that i use when looking for different ways to wear them if u want u can just look around it to see what im talking about

http://www.411hijabs.com/

if there is ever anything i can do for u to help u with this plz let me know

sara

thx..

it isn't just what others think of me.. honestly, when I've put it on..I not only feel embarassed but like I'm not being myself (if that makes sense). It just doesn't "feel" right and I almost feel silly. I am trying to figure out how to NOT feel that way.

You just get used to it to tell the truth. I used to feel the same way when I started covering and now I can't imagine going out with it. It becomes a part of u and u get comfortable with it over time.

I really don't have much of a support system here. There are muslimas everywhere but I don't have any personal friends here *yet*. I feel that maybe if I had some close friends we hung out with a lot..maybe it would help me feel more comfortable coz I really badly want to wear it but just can't quite get there yet

Thanks both of u for ur honest answers. They are very much appreciated!

amal

Ok... I am going to throw my 2 cents in... I was told when we feel embarressed or don't like the way we look it's Chayton whispering in our ears... he would love us to not cover for Allah wouldn't he??? I know pretty tough but I am going through a situation with my 16 yr old son "embarressed" about me covering (remember we live in Washington state" I am considering it a test and after it's all said and done I think he'd be embarressed about his mom no matter what... at least I am being true to myself in this way.

Also, you would be amazed once you start wearing your hijab how many muslimahs start coming around... truly my new job a women came in and walked up to me and said Salam allawyakum... then a man 2 days later at the counter to which i was standing next to didn't look at me but also greeted me in the same. Before you know it... it gets out or you notice or they find you. Subhannalah I really enjoy when that happens. I feel as if Allah has patted me on the back when I am greeted that way because without my hijab on..... would they still offer peace??? not likely.

Also, I have a dear friend of mine who slowly got into wearing the hijab ... baby steps. It worked for her, me I jumped in all the way now I feel naked without it. Each person is different with different timelines and only you know what you're comfortable with.

Insha'allah you will find your own pace... if you want to than do it... we're hear rooting you on.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm fascinated by how often any conversation about Islam or being Muslim turns into a discussion about hijab for women, especially among converts. Most Muslim women don't cover, but on message boards, you would think it's what Islam is all about for Muslimas. Strange.

[Nasturtium 500]

I'm fascinated by how often any conversation about Islam or being Muslim turns into a discussion about hijab for women, especially among converts. Most Muslim women don't cover, but on message boards, you would think it's what Islam is all about for Muslimas. Strange.

So I've been curious about what others think about this. Covering is on the rise in Jordan... it was lower than 25% of women just 50 years ago and now it's very high, like over 80% of women are covering. Do you suppose it's fashion? I noticed almost none of the old-style of covering and all the girls flocking to scarves and layers of scarves which they had arranged in intricate ways with lots of jewelry. I also informally noticed a lot of men saying they wished their wives to cover.. and there is talk about how girls don't cover to get a man, then cover after marriage. So it could also be a cultural and religious shift.

Seriously, I think a lot of epople think abotu covering as a major part of Islam. Not saying that's why it popped up here, but it something of a hot topic for both pros and cons. I just find it interesting that for some reason covering is associated exclusively with Islam in most of the west.

[palilover 1]

I'm fascinated by how often any conversation about Islam or being Muslim turns into a discussion about hijab for women, especially among converts. Most Muslim women don't cover, but on message boards, you would think it's what Islam is all about for Muslimas. Strange.

Really? I never knew that. That gives me a bit of hope then:) Because it is one of the first things that HAD to be done when i converted. Even when I was not in Boston, if I was around Muslims they all covered. But then again, I went to the mosque in Ohio....only one person was brave enough to actually get to know me outside of the mosque. (and she was a revert and covered). I di dnot start covering full time til I came to the east coast and I got around Muslims who once again covered. It was considered bad if you did not cover and they looked down on you. I just assumed most Muslim did it because if you did not, you were not seen as Muslim enough. Since I've moved away from that fanatic belief of the other people, I know only 3 people who do not cover. (they are born Muslim).