Muslims

[amal 4]

Brig, I wish that you will be guided along the path that God wants to take you through and that you will be rewarded no matter what you ultimately decide to do. I hope that you also find peace in your decision and that your husband is as understanding about this choice as he has been in the past. I love ya girl!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I'm not being held back but that's just my personal experience. On the contrary I think that learning more about Islam is what is lessening the importance of hijab to me, if that makes any sense.

That is an very interesting statement among a lot of very interesting statements, and very much along the lines of what my point has been. It's the same thing that happened to me, in fact, and I was wondering if anyone among the converts here had a similar experience. It's like there are levels of understanding where different aspects of th faith take on greater significance as you grow. Hijab, from what I have seen, is something that is a beginner's emphasis, which is what I suspected, but have yet to confirm. It's just so interesting that you say that.

The very first thing that was told to me above all else was to learn how to perform salat. That took me about two to three weeks to memorize in Arabic (I was never told I could say it in English and now I'm even considering memorizing it in my own language so that it will mean more to me). Anyways my point is that salat was always the first and foremost in my mind and was stressed to me bigtime. After that it was "read". So I read. Once I got comfy with the Quran for a bit I ventured out into other books such as In the Footsteps of the Prophet, by Tariq Ramadan, who btw I think is now allowed to enter the USA after years of being wrongfully banned. http://www.tariqramadan.com/spip.php?article10734

Yes, prayer is among the first things it is best to learn, and it is halal to pray in your native language, as Muslims have done since the beginning of human presence on earth. Moses prayed in his language, as did Abraham, Jesus and all the great Messengers of God. The Quran, as we know it today, is in Arabic because that is the language the Prophet Muhammad and the people he taught spoke. The Quran says as much, and intends for people to understand what they are learning and saying to Allah. Afterall, He understands all languages and dialects. All things are known to Him.

Iqraa! Read! It is essential and a command of God that we learn, grow, accumulate knowledge. Oddly, the Arab world is not full of readers, few books are published or translated into Arabic, and illiteracy is very high, especially among women. I have two Tariq Ramadan Books on my coffee table as I a reading them now - "In the Footsteps of the Prophet" and "Radical Reform". These are not easy reads. Great that you're taking them on.

Now I'm into reading about how Allah is in my life 24/7 EVERYWHERE. It's truly amazing and has changed my whole perspective on life.

That is an amazing breakthrough point, and it does change your life in ways that cannot be imagined before it happens to you. Ah, this is where my personal pasion lies, but I will not belabor this board with my thoughts on that.

I also understand the "man thing" lol, that husbands are a big influence in the push for hijab. I notice that the women whose husbands were easy going about it tend to have an easier time with it, although some are tougher on themselves than hubby could ever be. In our family, it was our paternal great grandpa who laid down the law, and my mother who stood up to him. She was a spitfire of an Arab Muslima who had worked her way up from very bad circumstances, was self-taught and was having none of that old village law for her girls. I still smile when I think of those two in a room together. She made us into barza women. She would have no less.

It's got to be hard to try to meet Muslim expectations even before you know what Allah expects of you. I'm gaining a greater appreciation for what many of you have to deal with through this ongoing exchange and I thank you all for it.

[amal 4]

This is not a comment to be against anything said here recently but I have a question.

Before I decided to wear hijab...(or at least give it a try) EVERYTHING in my life pointed me towards wearing it. Over the past 4 years I've wanted to cover but have been to afraid to take that step and it seemed that every conversation was about hijab and why it's what we're supposed to do. I was one who found every possible justification as to why I hadn't started covering and always argued my case.

Then...not even a full week into my decision to start covering...EVERYTHING in my life is pointing me towards NOT wearing it. This past 5 days I've been praying for the strength to stay steadfast in my decision and it's getting harder by the day.

Now many of the prior hijabis are contemplating removing their covers. Many ppl are coming forward making VERY GOOD cases as to why it's not necessarily something that NEEDS to be done..... I'm so so sooooooooooo confused! I just want to do what I feel that God has asked for women to do and I feel that no matter which way I choose, everybody is "accepting" the exact opposite.

When I initially posted that I realized what the truth was (imo) I thought I was sure. Now I'm even more confused than before HELP!

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Amal, honey. You gave loving and wise advice to Bridget regarding her dilemma, and you have to resolve to be as kind to yourself as you would obviously be to another Muslima dealing with the same confusion. If you are not as ready as you once believed you were, then you are not ready and you will need to prepare for a later time so that you can cover with confidence. Or, you may consider acting "as if" you are ready and see if just engaging in the act brings back the certainty you felt before.

There is no one answer for every woman, which is why hijab is still a debatable subject. When the history of the early ummah is explored, one finds that there were many kinds of women, with many different roles and skills that aided the community in ways that allowed them to offer their best. Some were warriors; they stood beside the men in battle with the Prophet's acceptance. There were women who were skilled at business, some produced goods, others were scholars and philosophers. One of the Prophet's wives was so persuasive with their adversaries that she traveled into enemy camps to help him negotiate treaties. Others were wonderful homemakers and organizers who kept order and gave encouragement to those within the community.

The early ummah formed the basis for the fiqh and remain fundamental examples for the interpretation of the sharia in ways that we can only admire. No doubt, having chosen to serve God, they spent 23 years waiting for revelations and interpretations that changed their lives in ways big and small. The Muslims of the Prophet's ummah were given 23 years to digest and act upon the Message offered to them. They moved forward incrementally, even as they dealt with the hostility heaped upon them.

Try to think about your struggle and confusion in this context: Allah gave them 23 years to learn and grow in the faith. He has always known what He wants from us and what His plan is for us, but He also knows that our flesh is weak, and that His mind is not ours to understand fully. We can only do the best we can do, with the best intent. And, since no one knows how long they have on this earth before they meet their Maker, we can only do so much, and we do best at those things that we understand.

Islam is not given to make us unhappy, sis. It is a gift that, when used well, gives us keys to discover the best in us that we can offer to others in His Name. For some, that may be the joy found in hijab, or the legacy of a loving marriage and family, or the ability to teach and spread the Word to others, or the means to bring comfort through strength to those who have no other defenders. There is so much to Islam, so very much, and I am convinced that we are, through faith, intended to want more, wish for more, seek more, be more. Yet, no one can do it all.

We are, in many ways, a continuation of the early Muslims who, through their struggles, laid a path for us. We should not diminish their enormous contribution to the faith by allowing ourselves to be distracted by our human failings, but to be bouyed by our God-given abilities and blessings, even as we work to overcome our failings. Find what it is that you can do now, and be resolved to do that as well as you can do. Along the way, other skills will develop to increase your faith and multiply your ability to express it in a constructive manner.

God took 23 years to reveal His Message because He knows we need time to adjust and learn, and not everyone can do or achieve everything in the same time. Let time be your tool, and accept it as His favor to you to accomodate your introspection and development, not as a measure of how far you have to go. You are on the journey, on the Path, and destined to serve. God is not finished with you yet, amal. There is always more work to be done.

I hope my words help you in some way. May Allah guide us all.

Edited July 28, 2009 by Sofiyya

[Bajih 4]

Amal-

I am with you. In fact, Ghassan and I had a discussion about this the other night. I was telling him about all the compelling arguments on both sides and how it gets confusing to know what to do is right. I do not speak or read Arabic and cannot read the Quran for myself and come to some interpretation- so I have to read things from reliable sources and think...and it gets so darn confusing because all I want to do is please Allah.

I started covering in 1997. (I converted in 1996). This doesn't mean it has been a picnic. I still struggle with it. Like today, walking into a running store to buy shoes. No one said "hello, may I help you?" at first- but I noticed the woman walking in after me got immediate attention. This just put me ill at ease. Was it because I looked obviously Muslim? Am I just paranoid? There are days when it is too darn uncomfortable or not practical... but on the other side, I read that a majority of scholars say it is mandatory...and then there are those hadith...

What Ghassan told me made complete sense. Listen to your heart. Your heart guides you to what is right; what is not; what is acceptable. Come to your own conclusion about it- not anyone elses' conclusion. Be at peace. Know your intentions because Allah knows them. I think He is more concerned about your heart; your intentions; your character than what you do or do not put on your head. Read up on it from a variety of reliable, credible sources. Pray about it. Do what you feel is right from the bottom of your heart. You will know.

I do not think this issue is a cut-and-dry situation. I think we are always evolving, changing in our life based on new understandings of things...so what I may think today I may have a different opinion on a few years from now. And that is okay. This takes the pressure off of having to find the 'right' answer...as long as my intentions and heart is in the right place.

Hope all of this made sense- it is 2:20 in the morning and my brain is fried.

May Allah forgive me for any errors or misunderstandings- it was not my intention.

Baj

[sassysis 0]

I am going to change the subject here a bit.

I am hoping some one can explain something to me, please. I have a co-worker who just converted to Islam also. Her husbands family is mostly Muslim and they had a family gathering this past weekend and she was told there are different beliefs in the Islamic faith. She nor I had ever heard this before. Can someone explain this to me?

[Kenza 1]

I am going to change the subject here a bit.

I am hoping some one can explain something to me, please. I have a co-worker who just converted to Islam also. Her husbands family is mostly Muslim and they had a family gathering this past weekend and she was told there are different beliefs in the Islamic faith. She nor I had ever heard this before. Can someone explain this to me?

maybe she was referring to shias, sufis, ismaillies

[sassysis 0]

I am going to change the subject here a bit.

I am hoping some one can explain something to me, please. I have a co-worker who just converted to Islam also. Her husbands family is mostly Muslim and they had a family gathering this past weekend and she was told there are different beliefs in the Islamic faith. She nor I had ever heard this before. Can someone explain this to me?

maybe she was referring to shias, sufis, ismaillies

I am not sure, can you explain those differences to me?

[LunaticFringe 0]

I am going to change the subject here a bit.

I am hoping some one can explain something to me, please. I have a co-worker who just converted to Islam also. Her husbands family is mostly Muslim and they had a family gathering this past weekend and she was told there are different beliefs in the Islamic faith. She nor I had ever heard this before. Can someone explain this to me?

maybe she was referring to shias, sufis, ismaillies

I am not sure, can you explain those differences to me?

Go to this website: http://www.islam4women.org/?page_id=8#high_3

Go about halfway down the page to a title that says: “Schools” within Islam : There are four different schools of jurisprudence within Islam

It talks of the different schools and splinter groups of Islam.

[amal 4]

Bajih and Sofiyya, Thanks for your kind words. I started covering last week and will continue to do so until I read somewhere that makes me feel otherwise. It's not just in VJ that I see things going in the opposite direction from my decision. It's everywhere. Up till the day before I made my decision.. my entire life was pointing me to covering. The day I started covering...everything around me started pointing me towards thinking maybe it's not as necessary as I believe it is. I don't care anymore what anyone else thinks as I know that my intent of covering is to please Allah alone. I just wanna feel like I made the right choice, ya know? I'm still covered and have stayed strong even though I get stared at, odd questions, u know..all the stuff that goes along with a super white obviously american woman with a cover on her head lol. You all kind of eased my mind in what you said coz really we can only do what we feel is the right thing and what we feel in our hearts is the path that Allah has chosen for us. Ensha'allah he will see my intent is good and I will receive blessings for my attempt at pleasing Him.

[Aymsgirl 0]

Has anybody read the series Tafsir ibn Kathir? I was having some issues the other night and my husband went to the mosque and found a few books for me. He brought me volume 3 because 1 and 2 were out. I opened it up and there was exactly what I was looking for. Now you tell me that it wasn't meant for me to see it

[sassysis 0]

Has anybody read the series Tafsir ibn Kathir? I was having some issues the other night and my husband went to the mosque and found a few books for me. He brought me volume 3 because 1 and 2 were out. I opened it up and there was exactly what I was looking for. Now you tell me that it wasn't meant for me to see it

Isnt it wonderful!

[amal 4]

mashallah!!! *hearts and sprinkleys and glittery things*

[UmmSqueakster 54]

As always, my usual quibble, sufism should not be considered a seperate group, but rather a religious science within both sunni and shia islam.

Wikipedia does a descent job with different groups, although since it's user generated of course, it should be taken with a grain of salt and only used as a beginning point for deeper study - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam#Denominations

[Sofiyya 1,687]

As always, my usual quibble, sufism should not be considered a seperate group, but rather a religious science within both sunni and shia islam.

Wikipedia does a descent job with different groups, although since it's user generated of course, it should be taken with a grain of salt and only used as a beginning point for deeper study - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam#Denominations

That's for sure! I'm an editor there, and while there are good Muslims working on issues, there is a definite anti-Islam faction that fights to get their twisted versions posted as truth.