Muslims

[Aymsgirl 0]

I gotta say, whenever there are convert women, there's a huge deal made about hijab garb. It's amazing that any woman can be a practicing Muslim without dressing like a desert Arab as if Islam began and ended on the Arabian pennisula. Always discussing being strong (i.e. wearing "hijab") or weak (i.e. not wearing "hijab"), as if it's a pillar of the faith. I'm an "old" Arab Muslima, so perhaps time has come that I wish women were more interested in the esoteric aspects of Islam more than whether their hair is showing. Maybe then, the really important issues pertaining to the obtaining the rights and blessings that Allah granted to us which are greatly abused in the Muslim community would be actualized. Until then, yes, it's so much about what's covering your hair.

Sorry. I am just so tired of clothing so often being the focus of Muslima spirituality. So tired.

Salaam ya Sofiyya, ya3ni I agree with your post and with this being said I want to say that although I was born Muslim, one of my weaknesses is that I too don't cover. Yes this is a struggle for me, although not because of fear of acceptance or being ashamed of being Muslim. Al7amdullilah, Minneapolis has a large population of Muslims and I always grew up with women who cover and women who didn't.

So many times I feel "judged" for not covering. Although what about the fact that I pray five times a day or that there is nothing in this world that could make me drink/smoke, steal, cheat on my husband or break my fast during Ramadan. What about the fact that Allah, su7anahu wa ta3la is first in my life even before my family. Wallahi I try to live my life as best as I know how (may Allah {swt} make me better), yet I sometimes feel "picked" on because I haven't been able to cover yet.

So many times I feel "judged" for not covering. Although what about the fact that I pray five times a day or that there is nothing in this world that could make me drink/smoke, steal, cheat on my husband or break my fast during Ramadan. What about the fact that Allah, su7anahu wa ta3la is first in my life even before my family. Wallahi, I try to live my life as best as I know how, yet I sometimes feel "picked" on because I haven't been able to cover yet.

I pray constantly about this. My belief is that I think Muslimahs should cover. I know my husband would love it if I covered because he too believes this is what Allah (swt) wants from us, but he also knows this is a very person choice between a women and God. I want to wear the higab, this is true....although I want to do it without dread, reservation or doubt. InshaAllah, Allah(swt) will guide all of us to what is right and open our hearts to pleasing Him.

Anyhow, for now I say...Allah (swt) show me and my beloved sisters the right path, and make us stead fast on it. Also a another thank you, sis, for your post. They are always appreciated.

Well said! I agree totally with your post. I have felt like it didn't matter how I practiced my faith that I was being judged on it by what I didn't wear. I was talking to my husband last night about it...he said over and over again...bit by bit, piece by piece, little by little. Like Sofiyya said, he also said practice the pillars if the rest is meant to be revealed and implemented into you if you are doing the pillars it will come. It makes me thankful he isn't pushy on this and he can see my side.

[amal 4]

My husband has done his best to keep me from wearing hijab. He said he doesn't want ppl to think that I'm wearing it coz of him. It's funny that with him gone, I gained the strength to put it on JUST BECAUSE I read/read/read/read/read and interpreted and thought about for a few days and debated and thought some more about the surah in Qura'an that states what the woman should do. It was nobodies choice but mine. He's so happy for me right now and has asked that I send him a picture each day so he can see lol.

I honestly do believe that there are women who do not cover who are given more rewards than those that do cover. It's about the belief in your heart that God looks at. If you don't believe in wearing hijab but wear it for "show" then it's not as rewarded as if it's worn with the right intent.

I choose this attempt at wearing it coz it's what I feel in my heart that the qura'an said to me when I studied it. I may change my mind in the future but for now, this is what I really feel is right FOR ME. It may not be right for the muslima beside me, in front of me, or wherever...but it's right for me.

I don't judge anybody on wether they cover or not. It's not my place to make those judgements. The people that say that they get tired of seeing clothing be such a major discussion rather than the faith in itself....... well to me, hijab was the hardest decision I've had to make, therefore it really HAS been bigger than many other issues in this religion. We discuss it coz so many of us struggle with the fact that God say so but we weren't brought up that way. We see other "born muslimas" not covering and try to justify it within ourselves..... If we don't cover, we feel like we're not doing as we should but if we cover, we feel that we aren't being ourselves... it's a MAJOR issue to many of us. not for the "looks" point of view...just the proper thing to do.

It's not about being worried if my hair is showing or not...its about the interpretation of the word of God and should we follow it ... or does it really mean that.... coz we just wanna do what God asks of us. Many of us already do the other steps and this is the final thing we struggle with.

To Brig. I believe it is Satan coming in and trying to get you to uncover. He's doing his best to get to you and from what you've said, he's really doing a number on ya. Don't give in to his evil plan!!! Stay faithful and strong in what you believe is right. I have faith in you girl. You've been an inspiration to me from the time you started covering. **hugs**

I gotta say, whenever there are convert women, there's a huge deal made about hijab garb. It's amazing that any woman can be a practicing Muslim without dressing like a desert Arab as if Islam began and ended on the Arabian pennisula. Always discussing being strong (i.e. wearing "hijab") or weak (i.e. not wearing "hijab"), as if it's a pillar of the faith. I'm an "old" Arab Muslima, so perhaps time has come that I wish women were more interested in the esoteric aspects of Islam more than whether their hair is showing. Maybe then, the really important issues pertaining to the obtaining the rights and blessings that Allah granted to us which are greatly abused in the Muslim community would be actualized. Until then, yes, it's so much about what's covering your hair.

Sorry. I am just so tired of clothing so often being the focus of Muslima spirituality. So tired.

Thanks ladies...I did have a very hard time getting my ex to sign for the passport, but he just did yesterday...so that was a big relief. We'll see what happens...just thinking things out.

I have a friend that moved to Jordan with her husband about 10 years ago. They got a shipping container delivered to their home and it was dropped off in the driveway. They packed the front of the container, then packed their car full of stuff then drove it into the container then added things in the back and closed it up. A truck came and picked it up and put it on a ship to Jordan. They flew to Jordan and I think about 3 weeks or so later a truck dropped the container off at their home in Jordan. I asked her how much did that cost thinking it was really expensive. This was about ten yrs ago and she said it cost around 1800 dollars. I am sure that it is much more expensive now a days. I thought that was cool though that they got to take all their belongings and even their car with them.

Meriem

Oh that is cool Meriem...thanks for letting me know that. That would be really awesome to do...especially the car thing. I will have to keep that in mind if we decide to make the move.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Some things I thought about after I was physically assaulted for being muslim:

Why should *I* change myself? I am not doing anything wrong. I am a law abiding american citizen, who has just as much right as any other person in this country to practice my religion as *I* see fit.

I should be able to hold my head up high and go where I want, dressed as I want, so long as I am following the laws of this country. I will not let anyone intimidate me.

If someone has a problem with me, then that is *their* problem, not *my* problem. Why should I let some idiot influence how I am?

If someone assaulted me because of the color of my skin, how would I react? I can't take off my skin. If someone assaulted me because of my gender, how would I react? I can't become a man. So why is it if someone assaults me because I'm a muslim, I must hide my faith?

If it's my time to go, Qadr Allah. It wouldn't matter if I was wearing a burqa or naked, if it's written, it's going to happen.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I gotta say, whenever there are convert women, there's a huge deal made about hijab garb. It's amazing that any woman can be a practicing Muslim without dressing like a desert Arab as if Islam began and ended on the Arabian pennisula. Always discussing being strong (i.e. wearing "hijab") or weak (i.e. not wearing "hijab"), as if it's a pillar of the faith. I'm an "old" Arab Muslima, so perhaps time has come that I wish women were more interested in the esoteric aspects of Islam more than whether their hair is showing. Maybe then, the really important issues pertaining to the obtaining the rights and blessings that Allah granted to us which are greatly abused in the Muslim community would be actualized. Until then, yes, it's so much about what's covering your hair.

Sorry. I am just so tired of clothing so often being the focus of Muslima spirituality. So tired.

i doubt a thread about promoting women's literacy in mena or providing clean water or mosquito nets to muslims would generate 1/3 the response...

it's not just women doing the obsessing over the mundane though. i've been on other forums where muslim men dissed women who performed various charitable works because they didn't wear a piece of cloth on their heads. the women they were putting down do more to benefit humanity in one week than those mouth breathing knuckle draggers dissing them will do in a lifetime. guys like that are a waste of oxygen. and they're freaking ubiquitous.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

We are all humbled before God, and those among us who are concerned about pleasing Him are part of a sisterhood of support. I have to say that I in no way intend to judge anyone for wearing the scarf. I studied the texts and don't see a mandate for it as a measure of faith or a command from God, but, sure, others do. Only my head is my burden. However, to insinuate that Muslimas who don't cover are mislead by Shaytain is as offensive as telling a Muslima who covers that she is misguided.

Islam is a great and eternal faith. It's greatness is not derived from clothing or scarves, which are of the flesh. The most substantive professions of faith are rooted inward to be directed outward. To insist that a scarf or the lack of a scarf is the measure of a woman's faith is so much of what diverts Muslimas from expressing the depth and breadth of their taqwa in ways that go far beyond dress. I often wonder that if Allah Himself were to ask Muslimas to instruct Him on the faith, they would tell him that the most important thing is that we must cover our hair.

Over the decades, hijab has been politically elevated to the level of spiritual nirvana. I am befuddled as to how so many women have been convinced that it holds far more weight than it does, even to Allah. In the Quran, the importance of justice, for example, is mentioned more than 50 times. In contrast, how many times is headcovering mentioned? Once, and that mention as a command to always wear it is ambiguous, at that.

So, why aren't we devoting an appropriate amount of our energy to justice, considering that it is a notable and undeniable priority to Allah directed at each and every Muslim?

4:135 O ye who believe! stand out firmly for justice, as witnesses to God, even as against yourselves, or your parents, or your kin, and whether it be (against) rich or poor: for God can best protect both. Follow not the lusts (of your hearts), lest ye swerve, and if ye distort (justice) or decline to do justice, verily God is well-acquainted with all that ye do

Dress, while of fundamental import, is to Islamic practice as a thimble of water is to the sea. Your inner potential for iman as outward expression of belief is what Allah teaches in every surah. A well-known hadith, one of my favorites, seeks to present the Way to righteousness in a very succinct and profound manner:

'Umar ibn al-Khattab said:

As we sat one day with the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace), a man in pure white clothing and jet black hair came to us, without a trace of travelling upon him, though none of us knew him.

He sat down before the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) bracing his knees against his, resting his hands on his legs, and said: "Muhammad, tell me about Islam." The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace) said: "Islam is to testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah, and to perform the prayer, give zakat, fast in Ramadan, and perform the pilgrimage to the House if you can find a way."

He said: "You have spoken the truth," and we were surprised that he should ask and then confirm the answer. Then he said: "Tell me about true faith (iman)," and the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) answered: "It is to believe in Allah, His angels, His inspired Books, His messengers, the Last Day, and in destiny, its good and evil."

"You have spoken the truth," he said, "Now tell me about the perfection of faith (ihsan)," and the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) answered: "It is to worship Allah as if you see Him, and if you see Him not, He nevertheless sees you."

He said: "Now tell me about the Hour." The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) answered: "The one who is asked about it does knows no more than the questioner."

He said: "Then tell me about its signs." The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace answered: "That a slave girl shall give birth to her mistress, and that you see barefoot, naked, destitute shepherds vying to build tall buildings."

Then the visitor left. I waited a long while, and the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to me, "Do you know, 'Umar, who was the questioner?" and I replied, "Allah and His messenger know best." He said,

"It was Gabriel, who came to you to teach you your religion" [sahih Muslim, 1.37: hadith 8]

As Ramadan approaches, if you are worried that you are too weak to cover your head in public, be comforted, for Allah is most merciful. His glory is not on your head. I wish to remind our worried sisters that the struggle over hijab cannot compare to the struggle to reach ishan, to embrace it in your soul and to share it unerringly with each and everyone you encounter, as a reflection of your belief in Allah, your committment to his intent for the world, your dedication to the unending discovery of the the best person you can be from the inside out, and how your presence serves to multiply the belief in the love of God among those who may not yet know Him. You may consider turning your focus to the expectations Allah has offered that can change your very being and your relationship with Him in ways that make hijab a mere blip on His radar.

Iqraa. May we all be rightly guided.

Edited July 24, 2009 by Sofiyya

[~Jackie~ 30]

Soffiya...with tears in my eyes, I thank you for that post.

Jackie

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

Sofiyya ya ukti....thanks for sharing this. Again your post are always appreciated! You get double kisses on the checks for this one and rose too

[Muh and me 18]

My husband and I were talking tonight about the struggle I am having over wearing hijab all the time. And I came away from the conversation kind of hurt and put off. He also knows til recently I've been struggling with prayer, and its getting better. But he said instead of focusing on hijab, I should focus on learning Islam cause he feels I really don't know much and I should pray and read read read. I was like HUH? Islam is always something I am gonna be learning about. This new life style does not just come with a snap of the finger. I have a lot of issues telling my parents I converted, and feel that if I do wear hijab all the time, I won't be allowed to wear it around them. I don't know what to think anymore. I've had such a rough week and thought I was feeling better about this, now I feel lost again.

[Melly 2 0]

Assalamu alaykum to all the sisters and brothers here.

I wanted to address what sister Sofiyya said. I don't want to argue or fight, but only to make a few points to what she said, and also a few general points.

I already know that Sofiyya has a better way with words, and can write the pants off me, but that doesn't mean what I have to say is any less important.

The hijab debate has raged on for many years, and there are a few sides to it. Two of those sides are: those who don't wear hijab and seem to always be defending their choice fiercely, and those who do wear hijab and who may or may not be blaming/judging those who don't wear it.

For myself, I would never tell a sister who wasn't covering that she should cover, but you can bet I will encourage her if it is something she is interested in.

No one here (that I can see) is saying that hijab is the most important thing in Islam, but if Allah mentioned it, then it must have some merit or weight. I will agree it shouldn't be the top priority for any Muslimah, but I don't think it's something to be ignored just because there are more important things either.

Of course there are always the Muslimahs around who will swear up and down that you are in grave sin and danger by not wearing hijab. In fact, when I said shahadah some years ago, I had a sister, who I'm sure had good intentions, tell me that the first thing I had to do was cover my hair, and that it wasn't an option not to, that it was obligatory and needed to be done ASAP!! She was so insistent on this and harping on and on about it so much that it totally turned me off.

Like I mentioned previously, it took me a year after saying shahadah to start wearing hijab, but when I did, I felt happy and proud that I could manage this thing that had seemed like such a hurdle. Because I felt that I was doing at least one thing that would please Allah, whether it was the most important thing or not.

I was also, during this time, attending weekly halaqas, and our main subject of study at the time was tawheed, among other subjects.

I didn't fret about hijab night and day, it wasn't always on my mind, but I didn't ignore it either, and felt/knew that when the time was right, it would happen insha'Allah.

If a sister is new to Islam, or even if she has been Muslim for some or many years, insha'Allah she will be learning for the rest of her life, what is most pleasing to Allah.

If she feels that hijab is pleasing to Allah, then why discourage it? It is not a humiliation or degradation to wear it!

If she feels, having grown up in the West where hijab is not the norm, that it will help her along in her studies, because it makes her feel more Muslim, than what is wrong with that? Maybe once a sister starts wearing hijab, it will help her to go further on the path of studies to what is best in this life, According to Allah, so that she can attain what is best in the next life!

I will never put a sister down for not wearing hijab, and again, I agree it is not the most important thing, but because anyone is sick of the hijab discussion or feels that it isn't important, well, then that's their point of view, and it is not shared by everyone.

Isn't it wonderful that we all have the capacity to think and learn and decide what is best for ourselves?

I applaud sister Sofiyya for stating what she feels is right, even though over the years I have seen her get attacked for her views. She has taken some points that seem to go against what others believe, and I'm sure it can be a struggle and annoying at times to boot, dealing with others in these matters.

I fully respect this sisters point of view, I just don't want any Muslimah to be discouraged from hijab because of it, or feel that hijab has no weight at all.

And likewise, I don't want any sister to feel bad or guilty by anything that I wrote if she isn't wearing hijab.

I love all of my sisters and it is one of my fondest wishes to see each and every one of you in Jannah!!

With respect to all the sisters here

Salam

Melissa

[aisha kandisha 0]

Nicely put, Melly. A hijab discussion on here does not mean the Muslimahs of this forum are not pursuing or discussing the other things mentioned. I think they are quite capable of working on many aspects of their faith at once, and a hijab discussion on this forum should not lead one to assume this is all they are concerned with or the thing they are most concerned with.

Edited July 24, 2009 by aisha kandisha

[Sofiyya 1,687]

The mere mention of something does not give it weight. Allah speaks of acts that are conditional, transitional, temporary as well as mandatory. What I am trying to say is that until the passion reserved for discussing hijab is fulfilled by more esoteric matters of God, then Shaytain will not have been moved away so that emphasis on God's intent can dominate.

The vanity involved in discussions of hijab fashion, where to buy it, how it looks on you, whether people look at you or not is no more spiritual than discussion of any haram fashion. Hijab is not about what is worn, nor about how others treat you because of your garb, it is about how you behave and how you treat others in ways that promote acceptance, not division. Hijab is a healer, not a source of pain or of competition.

I'm not saying to never speak of hijab dress, but so much emphasis on attire can't help but be divisive because it is centered on the outer expression of how each individual feels about themselves. It is spoken of as a measure of how far along the path one is as a Muslima, whether that is what is intended or not. That kind of measure is rooted in pride and vanity, not God's intent for us. That is my point.

Things that are of God serve to unite us, not to divide us, so which does Allah intend spiritual hijab to be?

Edited July 24, 2009 by Sofiyya

[UmmSqueakster 54]

If there is one thing I've learned hanging out with deobandi sufis, it's that the inward and the outward are two sides of the same coin - neither is mundane, and both are necessary for walking sirat ulmustaqeem.

One should not shun the outward to focus on the inward. There were sufis who believed they reached such a high spiritual state that salat was no longer required of them.

Nor should one ignore the inward to focus soley on outward acts. Focusing on hijab at the expense of everything else is just as wrongheaded (which btw I don't believe anyone here is saying at all. Heck, they're not even saying hijab is the be all and end all of everything).

Rather, do both, focus on both, and they will work in harmony and concert with one another to bring you closer to Allah (swt).

One of my favorite hadith is a hadith qudsi from Allah (swt), who says:

“Whomever is hostile to a friend of Mine I declare war against.

My slave approaches Me with nothing more beloved to Me than what I have made obligatory upon him, and My slave keeps drawing nearer to Me with voluntary works until I love him.

And when I love him, I am his hearing with which he hears, his sight with which he sees, his hand with which he seizes, and his foot with which he walks. If he asks Me, I will surely give to him, and if he seeks refuge in Me, I will surely protect him. I do not hesitate from anything I shall do more than My hesitation to take the soul of the believer who dislikes death; for I dislike displeasing him” (Bukhari)

Doing what Allah (swt), through the Prophet (saws) has commanded us to do is obligatory on us. None of it is small. None of it is mundane. None of it is unimportant.

[aisha kandisha 0]

The mere mention of something does not give it weight. Allah speaks of acts that are conditional, transitional, temporary as well as mandatory. What I am trying to say is that until the passion reserved for discussing hijab is fulfilled by more esoteric matters of God, then Shaytain will not have been moved away so that emphasis on God's intent can dominate.

The vanity involved in discussions of hijab fashion, where to buy it, how it looks on you, whether people look at you or not is no more spiritual than discussion of any haram fashion. Hijab is not about what is worn, nor about how others treat you because of your garb, it is about how you behave and how you treat others in ways that promote acceptance, not division. Hijab is a healer, not a source of pain or of competition.

I'm not saying to never speak of hijab dress, but so much emphasis on attire can't help but be divisive because it is centered on the outer expression of how each individual feels about themselves. It is spoken of as a measure of how far along the path one is as a Muslima, whether that is what is intended or not. That kind of measure is rooted in pride and vanity, not God's intent for us. That is my point.

Things that are of God serve to unite us, not to divide us, so which does Allah intend spiritual hijab to be?

You have no idea what their passion is. This is my point. A discussion on this forum alone is not enough to determine what is or what is not important to them or what they are or are not fulfilling. People were having a discussion, offering support and encouragement. Then you came along to say how it is a 'convert' thing. I hear people born Muslim discuss hijab just as much. The implication that they don't care are are less passionate about esoteric matters based simply on this forum is conclusion based on too little information.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

The mere mention of something does not give it weight. Allah speaks of acts that are conditional, transitional, temporary as well as mandatory. What I am trying to say is that until the passion reserved for discussing hijab is fulfilled by more esoteric matters of God, then Shaytain will not have been moved away so that emphasis on God's intent can dominate.

The vanity involved in discussions of hijab fashion, where to buy it, how it looks on you, whether people look at you or not is no more spiritual than discussion of any haram fashion. Hijab is not about what is worn, nor about how others treat you because of your garb, it is about how you behave and how you treat others in ways that promote acceptance, not division. Hijab is a healer, not a source of pain or of competition.

I'm not saying to never speak of hijab dress, but so much emphasis on attire can't help but be divisive because it is centered on the outer expression of how each individual feels about themselves. It is spoken of as a measure of how far along the path one is as a Muslima, whether that is what is intended or not. That kind of measure is rooted in pride and vanity, not God's intent for us. That is my point.

Things that are of God serve to unite us, not to divide us, so which does Allah intend spiritual hijab to be?

You have no idea what their passion is. This is my point. A discussion on this forum alone is not enough to determine what is or what is not important to them or what they are or are not fulfilling. People were having a discussion, offering support and encouragement. Then you came along to say how it is a 'convert' thing. I hear people born Muslim discuss hijab just as much. The implication that they don't care are are less passionate about esoteric matters based simply on this forum is conclusion based on too little information.

Reread my posts. I'm sure you will not find that I have singled out this forum. Instead, I am discussing the overview of what tends to happens to Muslimas when they discuss Islam. The emphasis is primarily outward, not inward, and there is plenty of evidence for that.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

FYI for non muslims:

CAIR is once again offering a free quran (only pay the price of shipping) to non muslim americans.

The version they are offering is beyond beautiful. It's massive (I insist on dragging it along to the masjid during Ramadan, and after a week, my shoulder is aching), and beautifully put together. While the english is old (not my favorite), the commentary is superb. It does have it's drawbacks (he tends to discount the miraculous), but all in all, it's a great book.

For muslims, keep checking half.com, as the last time CAIR had a Qur'an campaign, people would sell their copies there. What is their loss can be your gain. It looks like there is one on there now for $20.

Saudi Aramco World had a great article on him in one of their 2002 issues.