Muslims

[amal 4]

Well, hijjab is a big discussion in my home right now because my husband works with a muslim lady that introduced herself to me and said you don't cover, why, right away. I felt like she ganged up on me.

Well, those that read Arabic may be able to explain this better and I will get the exact verse for you in what Sura later because I am at work. Well, when I read it in English it is talking about bringing your veil to your bosom and covering your adornment and such but in Arabic it has this specific word and that means to cover all....from top to bottom. He said that he couldn't understand why the translation didn't show that or at least try to explain it more. If I speak to him today I will ask him to try and spell it for me.

He doesn't push the issue because he knows there are more things that I really need to work on in my life to prepare myself for this if I ever do. My hat is off to those that do but right now I suffer with it greatly.

I am sorry this is such a point of suffering for you. I feel for you, really. I dont always cover my hair, for many many reasons, not always because I dont want to. I think everyone moves at their own comfort level and does what they feel they need to do, I just hate you are having problems.

Today however I have my hair covered for the first time all day at work. Hopefully I wont 'rock the boat' too much around here.

It really is. It may not look like it but in real life I am a very private person. I don't know what religion my neighbors are and it is their business. I know I will get eaten alive for this but to me it's like wearing it on my sleeve and I feel like it is my personal relationship with Allah that I need to work on. I know, I know it sounds bad, really bad. Like I am ashamed, I am not, if I am asked I am ok with it but I am just private. I really suffered with this during my conversion and delayed it just because I guess I just don't see it in black and white. I really do appreciate the fact of those that do. I just don't have the courage right now and I am weak.

Wether you're weak or strong, I (for one) am always gonna support you no matter what path you decide to take I'm weak too. Let's be weak together and maybe we can help each other become more strong Gotta take it 1 day at a time and eventually you'll make a choice and be happy with that choice ensha'allah. God knows ur inner intentions and that's what matters the most.

[aisha kandisha 0]

I looked up adornment again in the dictionary.

adornment noun

1. a decoration of color or interest that is added to relieve plainness

2. the action of decorating yourself with something colorful and interesting

I see how this can absolutely mean 100% "IMO, hair, hands/feet, etc..(god given things) are not adornments. Hair clips, make up, jewelry, etc are adornments. "IMO, hair, hands/feet, etc..(god given things) are not adornments. Hair clips, make up, jewelry, etc are adornments." (nawals statement).

my only reason for still thinking it means to cover hair.... anything u put in ur hair to tie it back would be a form of adornment even if that was not the intention (jmho). if you brush it and style it...that's also a type of adornment because it is making it be more appealing or beautiful, therefore justifying hair as being an adornment. Or I also like to think of it as... better safe than sorry.

Now, if I can just get up the guts to start wearing it.....

The definition of adornment in English is pretty much meaningless in understanding this ayat, and focusing on what adornment means to us pointless. The Qur'an is not written in English. Adornment is what one or a few translators chose to use to best approximate the Arabic, but the meaning we take from the Qur'an shouldn't be based on what a translator comes up with (and translations vary greatly). Rather it should be based on the long held understanding of those who not only understood Arabic but Qur'anic Arabic, that is the common understanding at the time of revelation.

But since I'm American and speak very little Arabic, the english translation is the best thing I can go on so to best make it the most meaningful to myself, I have to be able to justify it within the words that I'm able to read. And of course, I explained that already so no need to go there again

I have a hijab laying accross my shoulder as we speak in anticipation of putting it on today. I was 1/2 covered yesterday and it went very well but I am just so scared to go all the way. inch by inch is my motto in this situation

There are plenty of commentaries that have been translated to English that do a wonderful job of explaining the meaning that a translation alone cannot capture because of the limitations of translations.

May Allah jala jalalu make it easy for you today.

[amal 4]

ensha'allah

[doodlebugg 10]

My hat is off to those that do

sorry but that's the first laugh I"ve had all day!!!!!!

Tasha my husband once asked me (before I started covering) if I was ashamed of being Muslim. That really hit me hard and got me to thinking of it and finally I was like, no ... no I"m not ashamed! That and praying ishtikara led me to finally put the scarf on two Ramadan's ago.

I'll just come out and say that now I'm second guessing. We have had vandalism on our car and every single solitary day I get TONS of dagger-looks from ignorant people who probably just equate me with terrorism. It's not so bad here in Boston proper where I work (although today at a traffic light this dude crossed the road and stared at me like he could see the inside of my gut and it sent shivers down my spine (and not the good kind!)), but moreso where I live. I live in a predominantly white town that has about 50% Christian/40% Jewish and the rest is mixed. I'm not the only muslim but I am the only muslimah who covers and I think now I know why. I feel like an alien in the hometown that I grew up in which is where we live now. Neighbors no longer are friendly with me, one woman at a supermarket told me to go back where I came from, etc. etc.

I talked with my husband about it since I know it's important to him that I cover. We had discussed it before marrying though at that time I was on the fence about it. Anyhoo after telling him what I've experienced he now really understands and agrees that if I feel threatened I should take it off.

I'm not a Quran or Hadith expert here and I might be talking out my youknowwhat but I know there is a section which talks about war and that it's ok during that time to feign a different religion in order not to be harmed. (i'm taking huge liberties and paraphrasing to the hilt here but you see where I'm going). In these times you can't count on everyone being educated enough to accept you no matter what. In Boston it's different, I dont' even know how many colleges we have around here and the company I work for is mega-diverse. Even my hometown is pretty educated BUT there is a LOT of prejudice there.

I haven't taken off my hijab because I'm not 100% that this isn't just shaitan's way of steering me away. If I were current in my salat, etc. then I'd feel more comfortable with a decision either way so for now I just suffer daily. Well not total suffer I mean it's a second worth of ill-will between me and the idiot that's giving me *the look* but those seconds seem to burn a hole in my heart and make it harder each day, you know?

Just my random thoughts on an otherwise really bad day for me.

[amysaid 9]

I'll just come out and say that now I'm second guessing. We have had vandalism on our car and every single solitary day I get TONS of dagger-looks from ignorant people who probably just equate me with terrorism. It's not so bad here in Boston proper where I work (although today at a traffic light this dude crossed the road and stared at me like he could see the inside of my gut and it sent shivers down my spine (and not the good kind!)), but moreso where I live. I live in a predominantly white town that has about 50% Christian/40% Jewish and the rest is mixed. I'm not the only muslim but I am the only muslimah who covers and I think now I know why. I feel like an alien in the hometown that I grew up in which is where we live now. Neighbors no longer are friendly with me, one woman at a supermarket told me to go back where I came from, etc. etc.

I have had similar issues... had my car vandalized, racial slurs used toward me, lots of glares and dirty looks. I live in a medium sized city, but it is mostly white and hispanic. The only Muslims I have run into have been reverts like myself (two of them!) and a handful of male Muslim doctors. Most of the "born" Muslim women that I have met here don't cover except when they go to the mosque. Working as a nurse, I worried about my patients having an issue with it, but due to my school's dress code I end up wearing black hijab with brown or white underscarf, so they all usually think I'm a nun. hahah.

[Aymsgirl 0]

This is kind of my fear too. We live in a little hilljack place which is a major farm town. Actually, it is a village, not a town, not enough people to fulfill the name. It's fFull of the good 'ole boys and their clansman like fathers. Everybody is white and there are no muslimah's in hijab in my hometown. So, I do have a fear of my family being targeted. Also, I work for a Seventh Day Adventist Healthcare company. I have never seen somebody with a scarf or hijab in my work and I know they aren't to discriminate but this would cause an uproar there and then I feel like reasons would be found to get rid of me.

Well, hijjab is a big discussion in my home right now because my husband works with a muslim lady that introduced herself to me and said you don't cover, why, right away. I felt like she ganged up on me.

Well, those that read Arabic may be able to explain this better and I will get the exact verse for you in what Sura later because I am at work. Well, when I read it in English it is talking about bringing your veil to your bosom and covering your adornment and such but in Arabic it has this specific word and that means to cover all....from top to bottom. He said that he couldn't understand why the translation didn't show that or at least try to explain it more. If I speak to him today I will ask him to try and spell it for me.

He doesn't push the issue because he knows there are more things that I really need to work on in my life to prepare myself for this if I ever do. My hat is off to those that do but right now I suffer with it greatly.

I am sorry this is such a point of suffering for you. I feel for you, really. I dont always cover my hair, for many many reasons, not always because I dont want to. I think everyone moves at their own comfort level and does what they feel they need to do, I just hate you are having problems.

Today however I have my hair covered for the first time all day at work. Hopefully I wont 'rock the boat' too much around here.

It really is. It may not look like it but in real life I am a very private person. I don't know what religion my neighbors are and it is their business. I know I will get eaten alive for this but to me it's like wearing it on my sleeve and I feel like it is my personal relationship with Allah that I need to work on. I know, I know it sounds bad, really bad. Like I am ashamed, I am not, if I am asked I am ok with it but I am just private. I really suffered with this during my conversion and delayed it just because I guess I just don't see it in black and white. I really do appreciate the fact of those that do. I just don't have the courage right now and I am weak.

Wether you're weak or strong, I (for one) am always gonna support you no matter what path you decide to take I'm weak too. Let's be weak together and maybe we can help each other become more strong Gotta take it 1 day at a time and eventually you'll make a choice and be happy with that choice ensha'allah. God knows ur inner intentions and that's what matters the most.

Thank you for your support Amal! I'm here for you if you ever need me.

[Melly 2 0]

Hey sisters

I really feel for those who would like to wear hijab but have fears about it. I had the same fears before I started wearing it but alhamdulillah that I was able to finally get past them and start wearing hijab. It took a year after saying shahada to start, and I felt so guilty that whole year for not wearing it, but I also realized that although I felt it was important, there were other things that were more important, like tawheed.

Sooooo, for all the sisters struggling with this issue, I will make dua for you. Insha'Allah you will find the strength and the way to wear hijab if it is your desire to do so. And though personally I think it's important, please remember we all go at our own pace and some women never do wear hijab. May Allah accept all of our deeds and recognize our intentions, ameen.

[Muh and me 18]

Hey sisters

I really feel for those who would like to wear hijab but have fears about it. I had the same fears before I started wearing it but alhamdulillah that I was able to finally get past them and start wearing hijab. It took a year after saying shahada to start, and I felt so guilty that whole year for not wearing it, but I also realized that although I felt it was important, there were other things that were more important, like tawheed.

Sooooo, for all the sisters struggling with this issue, I will make dua for you. Insha'Allah you will find the strength and the way to wear hijab if it is your desire to do so. And though personally I think it's important, please remember we all go at our own pace and some women never do wear hijab. May Allah accept all of our deeds and recognize our intentions, ameen.

I am struggling with the same thing. I want to wear it, but feel like i will be singled out in our town or frowned upon. The town where we live there are a few muslims, but you rarely see someone in hijab. And when you do, they get the look! And I have a few friends, who when i have told them about my wanting to wear hijab have kind of mad faces or comments about it.

[HLM 1]

for all the sisters struggling with this issue, I will make dua for you. Insha'Allah you will find the strength and the way to wear hijab if it is your desire to do so. And though personally I think it's important, please remember we all go at our own pace and some women never do wear hijab. May Allah accept all of our deeds and recognize our intentions, ameen.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I gotta say, whenever there are convert women, there's a huge deal made about hijab garb. It's amazing that any woman can be a practicing Muslim without dressing like a desert Arab as if Islam began and ended on the Arabian pennisula. Always discussing being strong (i.e. wearing "hijab") or weak (i.e. not wearing "hijab"), as if it's a pillar of the faith. I'm an "old" Arab Muslima, so perhaps time has come that I wish women were more interested in the esoteric aspects of Islam more than whether their hair is showing. Maybe then, the really important issues pertaining to the obtaining the rights and blessings that Allah granted to us which are greatly abused in the Muslim community would be actualized. Until then, yes, it's so much about what's covering your hair.

Sorry. I am just so tired of clothing so often being the focus of Muslima spirituality. So tired.

[Meriem_DZ 37]

I have been Muslim for 4 years now, and all that time I wanted so bad to wear hijab but I was afraid. I live in a small town in north Mississippi.There is 2 other Algerians and 1 Tunisian with non Muslim wifes. So I am the only Muslimah in town. My new year's resolution this year was that I would start wearing my scarf. I didnt before because I was more afraid for my teenage son. He's 16 and I was afraid what his friends would say to him. I walked out of the house in January with a scarf on my head and I have never looked back. I went to my son's sports banquet and my son hid from me. He was embarrased and would not even go to school the next day. He went 2 days later and when he got home I asked him what anyone said to him. He smiled and said only one kid came up to him and said " Man, my mom is Muslim too." He said she lives in another town though. Now he isnt bothered by it at all, and still has all the same friends. They asked me why I wear it and I explained to them the reasons and they dont think anything about it now. I have not had one negative comment, but have noticed confused stares. I have been asked what is wrong with me, am I sick. I have had people curious about my hijab just come up to me and ask me why I wear it, and it is a good opportunity to educate people about Islam. I have been asked if I wear it for my husband. Or if I wear it because it shows I am married. One man asked me if I was from India, LOL. I have pretty good peripheral vision and I have noticed people staring in shock, trying to figure out what I am. I just go on my merry way. I dont regret wearing hijab at all. I would definitely feel naked if I was to go out without it now.

Meriem

[amysaid 9]

Or if I wear it because it shows I am married. One man asked me if I was from India, LOL. I have pretty good peripheral vision and I have noticed people staring in shock, trying to figure out what I am. I just go on my merry way. I dont regret wearing hijab at all. I would definitely feel naked if I was to go out without it now.

haha. A woman in a grocery store asked me if I was from India, too! But mostly I just get people being surprised when I speak without an accent, or ask me where I'm from, or where my family is from. One of the girls in my daughter's preschool class would always ask why I wore it, apparently she would forget from one time that I told her to the next. I took off my hijab to be in my friend's wedding a couple weeks ago, which felt really weird. I usually take it off when I fly in the US, too, I just wear a hat and a turtleneck or something instead.

[Staashi 371]

I gotta say, whenever there are convert women, there's a huge deal made about hijab garb. It's amazing that any woman can be a practicing Muslim without dressing like a desert Arab as if Islam began and ended on the Arabian pennisula. Always discussing being strong (i.e. wearing "hijab") or weak (i.e. not wearing "hijab"), as if it's a pillar of the faith. I'm an "old" Arab Muslima, so perhaps time has come that I wish women were more interested in the esoteric aspects of Islam more than whether their hair is showing. Maybe then, the really important issues pertaining to the obtaining the rights and blessings that Allah granted to us which are greatly abused in the Muslim community would be actualized. Until then, yes, it's so much about what's covering your hair.

Sorry. I am just so tired of clothing so often being the focus of Muslima spirituality. So tired.

When I was growing up in Los Angeles, which has an enormous Arabian-muslim community (both long-time immigrants and newbies) the Arab women NEVER wore hijab. I had wonderful friends who were muslim - we all had a nice tolerance for religions...but that's just LA. The only ones who actually wore hijab were the American women who converted - it was like they felt some inate sense of wanting to prove how muslima they were by donning hijab, abayas, chador (if husband was Iranian), and jilabas (sp?). It was like they were competing in the Hijabi Olympics...which was what my Doctor (a Syrian muslima) used to call it. She and her uncle had a practice together - they were very devout - they'd even schedule patients around their prayer times and such. She never saw a need to cover. She used to say that Allah heard our prayers with or without hijab.

Yes, on occasion we had a few Saudis who would wear niqab and we knew their visits to Beverly Hills were just to shop on their vacations and then go home to KSA - it was a sight to see those black niqabs blowing in the Santa Ana winds - we'd always be flashed by their beautiful shoes. Bling, bling!

Ladies, be safe - that's all I want to say.

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

I gotta say, whenever there are convert women, there's a huge deal made about hijab garb. It's amazing that any woman can be a practicing Muslim without dressing like a desert Arab as if Islam began and ended on the Arabian pennisula. Always discussing being strong (i.e. wearing "hijab") or weak (i.e. not wearing "hijab"), as if it's a pillar of the faith. I'm an "old" Arab Muslima, so perhaps time has come that I wish women were more interested in the esoteric aspects of Islam more than whether their hair is showing. Maybe then, the really important issues pertaining to the obtaining the rights and blessings that Allah granted to us which are greatly abused in the Muslim community would be actualized. Until then, yes, it's so much about what's covering your hair.

Sorry. I am just so tired of clothing so often being the focus of Muslima spirituality. So tired.

Salaam ya Sofiyya, ya3ni I agree with your post and with this being said I want to say that although I was born Muslim, one of my weaknesses is that I too don't cover. Yes this is a struggle for me, although not because of fear of acceptance or being ashamed of being Muslim. Al7amdullilah, Minneapolis has a large population of Muslims and I always grew up with women who cover and women who didn't.

So many times I feel "judged" for not covering. Although what about the fact that I pray five times a day or that there is nothing in this world that could make me drink/smoke, steal, cheat on my husband or break my fast during Ramadan. What about the fact that Allah, su7anahu wa ta3la is first in my life even before my family. Wallahi I try to live my life as best as I know how (may Allah {swt} make me better), yet I sometimes feel "picked" on because I haven't been able to cover yet.

So many times I feel "judged" for not covering. Although what about the fact that I pray five times a day or that there is nothing in this world that could make me drink/smoke, steal, cheat on my husband or break my fast during Ramadan. What about the fact that Allah, su7anahu wa ta3la is first in my life even before my family. Wallahi, I try to live my life as best as I know how, yet I sometimes feel "picked" on because I haven't been able to cover yet.

I pray constantly about this. My belief is that I think Muslimahs should cover. I know my husband would love it if I covered because he too believes this is what Allah (swt) wants from us, but he also knows this is a very person choice between a women and God. I want to wear the higab, this is true....although I want to do it without dread, reservation or doubt. InshaAllah, Allah(swt) will guide all of us to what is right and open our hearts to pleasing Him.

Anyhow, for now I say...Allah (swt) show me and my beloved sisters the right path, and make us stead fast on it. Also a another thank you, sis, for your post. They are always appreciated.

Edited July 23, 2009 by 100% Al Ahly Fan

[amysaid 9]

I think that sometimes as a a convert I am trying so hard to learn and do things the "right" way that it gets confusing. I don't speak the language, I have to rely on interpretations, I can barely even stumble over the words for prayer. So hijab seemed like something that was simple enough that I could do -- how hard is it to wrap a scarf around your head and cover up your boobies? For me I thought that if I wore hijab I would feel different, I was kind of in the fake-it-til-you-make-it stage of being Muslim, I didn't know anything about anything. I grew up basically an atheist, without any religious upbringing whatsoever, so for me to try to begin to instill a faith in a higher power in myself, it has been VERY difficult. But wearing a scarf... that was easy.