Muslims

[Muh and me 18]

I was att he hospital so i missed it! There is always next week incha' allah!

[Kenza 1]

I'm in a total muslim slump. No praying, thinkin' about ditchin the hijab (please no debate about it), etc. No idea why just the way it's happened. *sigh*

I'm in the same boat stakfirallah but I would never ditch the hijab cause I feel naked outside without it...What makes it harder is that I have no support system and the masjid is 40 min away. May Allah SWT guide us again to the straight path and protect us from the ameen. It's also not good to openly discuss sin but i think it helps us come together to become stronger inchallah.

Edited April 5, 2009 by Kenza

[doodlebugg 10]

I'm in a total muslim slump. No praying, thinkin' about ditchin the hijab (please no debate about it), etc. No idea why just the way it's happened. *sigh*

I'm in the same boat stakfirallah but I would never ditch the hijab cause I feel naked outside without it...What makes it harder is that I have no support system and the masjid is 40 min away. May Allah SWT guide us again to the straight path and protect us from the ameen. It's also not good to openly discuss sin but i think it helps us come together to become stronger inchallah.

Well I think if HE knows then why is it bad for everyone else to know, you know? Plus it's a way for people to relate since I'm sure many go through it. Regarding hijab I'm just sick of it to be honest. The physical part that is. Maybe this is a natural phase too who knows. I'm in a pity party mood about it. I hate not being able to have a chic haircut anymore for all to see. I hate being different than everyone else. We do have 2 other hijabis in my building but to be honest they're both so rude imho. I've smiled and said salam to both and both would respond and then just look away like I'm some weirdo. Most of all I think because softball season has begun so I'll be attending like 2 to 3 games/week and there I feel like a massive spectacle.

My hesitation at first was that wearing it would put more attention on my self and that would be defeating what I thought the whole purpose was. What made me start wearing it was that I had this revelation that the true purpose was above what I am able to comprehend. I truly felt that and still do to a certain extent but my life is so very stressful now and that part of it is compounding the stress level for me lately. Oh and did I mention summer is coming and I dread it????

So much about no debate. I'm debating myself. lol

[Kenza 1]

I'm in a total muslim slump. No praying, thinkin' about ditchin the hijab (please no debate about it), etc. No idea why just the way it's happened. *sigh*

I'm in the same boat stakfirallah but I would never ditch the hijab cause I feel naked outside without it...What makes it harder is that I have no support system and the masjid is 40 min away. May Allah SWT guide us again to the straight path and protect us from the ameen. It's also not good to openly discuss sin but i think it helps us come together to become stronger inchallah.

Well I think if HE knows then why is it bad for everyone else to know, you know? Plus it's a way for people to relate since I'm sure many go through it. Regarding hijab I'm just sick of it to be honest. The physical part that is. Maybe this is a natural phase too who knows. I'm in a pity party mood about it. I hate not being able to have a chic haircut anymore for all to see. I hate being different than everyone else. We do have 2 other hijabis in my building but to be honest they're both so rude imho. I've smiled and said salam to both and both would respond and then just look away like I'm some weirdo. Most of all I think because softball season has begun so I'll be attending like 2 to 3 games/week and there I feel like a massive spectacle.

My hesitation at first was that wearing it would put more attention on my self and that would be defeating what I thought the whole purpose was. What made me start wearing it was that I had this revelation that the true purpose was above what I am able to comprehend. I truly felt that and still do to a certain extent but my life is so very stressful now and that part of it is compounding the stress level for me lately. Oh and did I mention summer is coming and I dread it????

So much about no debate. I'm debating myself. lol

OMG I can totally relate to everything you just said...I love summer though but then I can't go out and swim and tan or any of that. The other bad thing is that my husband is realllllly religious and I met him and he decided to marry me at a time when I was crazy about being a good Muslim, etc. well he knows I haven't been so good lately and it's causing some arguments. I guess I'm not much help-rather I need the help too. sendin my sista!

[HLM 1]

That's a normal phase for all believers.....you have your high then you go low; so u can start struggling for the high again....Don't lose hope; everyone goes through it and it's so much thawab if you pass it safely (: Try again and ask Allah for His help and guidence without Him we would definitly go astray.

I'm here if anyone needs to talk about it

Edited April 5, 2009 by HisLittleMasriyah

[Kenza 1]

That's a normal phase for all believers.....you have your high then you go low; so u can start struggling for the high again....Don't lose hope; everyone goes through it and it's so much thawab if you pass it safely (: Try again and ask Allah for His help and guidence without Him we would definitly go astray.

I'm here if anyone needs to talk about it

Shukran sister for your kind words and inchallah this time will pass...

[Sofiyya 1,687]

That's a normal phase for all believers.....you have your high then you go low; so u can start struggling for the high again....Don't lose hope; everyone goes through it and it's so much thawab if you pass it safely (: Try again and ask Allah for His help and guidence without Him we would definitly go astray.

I'm here if anyone needs to talk about it

So true. I worry about converts, male and female, who take too much on before they are really familar with the tenets of the faith. Bridget, I thought you took on too much early on, but you were so defensive about your choices. It's best always to recommend to newbies that they take it slow and create a comfort zone around their early decisions to see if they can maintain them for the long run.

Some topics, like hijab, have taken on a political significance that ebbs and flows. Right now, the emphasis on it is high. There have been plenty of times when it's low. Based on my own study, I gave up the headscarf decades ago. I'm most comfortable with the decision because I'm confident in my sources and the defense of my choice. Its not a pilar of the fatih, after all, and it's debatable whether Allah requires it, or if it's an element of culture that has become too widely identified with Islam. How one chooses to incorporate the various viewpoints is personal, but one should definitely believe in what you do.

[doodlebugg 10]

That's a normal phase for all believers.....you have your high then you go low; so u can start struggling for the high again....Don't lose hope; everyone goes through it and it's so much thawab if you pass it safely (: Try again and ask Allah for His help and guidence without Him we would definitly go astray.

I'm here if anyone needs to talk about it

So true. I worry about converts, male and female, who take too much on before they are really familar with the tenets of the faith. Bridget, I thought you took on too much early on, but you were so defensive about your choices. It's best always to recommend to newbies that they take it slow and create a comfort zone around their early decisions to see if they can maintain them for the long run.

Some topics, like hijab, have taken on a political significance that ebbs and flows. Right now, the emphasis on it is high. There have been plenty of times when it's low. Based on my own study, I gave up the headscarf decades ago. I'm most comfortable with the decision because I'm confident in my sources and the defense of my choice. Its not a pilar of the fatih, after all, and it's debatable whether Allah requires it, or if it's an element of culture that has become too widely identified with Islam. How one chooses to incorporate the various viewpoints is personal, but one should definitely believe in what you do.

I know what you mean but that's just the way I am. I'm either all the way in or all the way out. Always have been. I still believe in the hijab I guess I'm just sick of the side effects. And I hate being hot and Cymbalta is making me wicked hot all the time lately. In my office I'll lift the back of my hijab and blow a fan on it a few times each hour just to keep cool. I guess I'm just being a crybaby but I look at what others are able to do and I wanna!!! Then again, this life is so very short compared to an eternity in the hereafter and maybe the fact that it bothers me so much lately will lessen the pain I might have had when I die. I dunno grasping at straws here.

My husband is ok either way, so he says, but I know he'll feel jealous if I take it off. That would be his problem though and has nothing to do with the issue at hand.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

Assalamu Alaikum,

*hugs for bridget* I think every convert, even those who take it slow, reach a point where they're just feeling like "what the heck, I can't do this anymore." Have I recommended the book Believing as Ourselves to you before? It's by a convert who is struggling with aspects of practice and the community, while still believing fully in the religion. It's like, hey, I'm not the only one who feels this way

Try to shake things up a bit. Get a chic haircut so you feel pretty at home. Then go out and buy a ton of fabulous scarves so you look stunning when you go out Try something different in your devotional life too. Take a new class, listen to some quran every day, something different from what you're doing now. I'd highly recommend the class Imam Suhaib is teaching. I think it will really be about reconnecting with Allah (swt) and building a stronger relationship with Him as the weeks go by. There's also an assignment at the end of each class that force us to actually engage with the lesson, rather then just listen passively.

For those who missed the class, there's a recording of the lesson here, of the q&a here and his notes here. There are 2 copies of the text that are available for purchase - Imam Zaid's translation and commentary, and another that can be purchased from One Legacy Media, although that website is down at present.

[HLM 1]

Assalamu Alaikum,

*hugs for bridget* I think every convert, even those who take it slow, reach a point where they're just feeling like "what the heck, I can't do this anymore." Have I recommended the book Believing as Ourselves to you before? It's by a convert who is struggling with aspects of practice and the community, while still believing fully in the religion. It's like, hey, I'm not the only one who feels this way

Try to shake things up a bit. Get a chic haircut so you feel pretty at home. Then go out and buy a ton of fabulous scarves so you look stunning when you go out Try something different in your devotional life too. Take a new class, listen to some quran every day, something different from what you're doing now. I'd highly recommend the class Imam Suhaib is teaching. I think it will really be about reconnecting with Allah (swt) and building a stronger relationship with Him as the weeks go by. There's also an assignment at the end of each class that force us to actually engage with the lesson, rather then just listen passively.

For those who missed the class, there's a recording of the lesson here, of the q&a here and his notes here. There are 2 copies of the text that are available for purchase - Imam Zaid's translation and commentary, and another that can be purchased from One Legacy Media, although that website is down at present.

Right on!! everything you've mentioned does help a lot.

And jazaki Allah khayr for the lesson because I did miss it!

[Leyla 0]

Maybe I'll be condemned for this but....

I was in the same situation with the praying, and hijab etc. I took on a lot when I became a Muslim. I even started working at the mosque! I was the most "hijabalicious" girl on campus (Jilbab and hijab, loose clothes etc...). I felt like this is what God wanted and that is what I wanted. I wore it for a whole year before I began to ask questions.

Long story short... I took off the hijab because I do not see the evidence in the Qur'an for it (Please reserve judgement sisters...). My husband was a little weird about it at first, but then he saw me blossom in my faith in God and in my everyday life. He saw that I was still dressing modestly even without a scarf on my head. I guess I just never understood why I needed to cover my head. I would ask kindly if I was not preached to about this topic.

In my heart, I believe I am still "hijabalicious." I am humble and submit to my God. God is inside my heart and I have never felt closer to God, my family and myself. I feel whole.

I understand totally what you are feeling. I believe you should do what makes you closer to God.

May God guide your heart.

[Leyla 0]

That's a normal phase for all believers.....you have your high then you go low; so u can start struggling for the high again....Don't lose hope; everyone goes through it and it's so much thawab if you pass it safely (: Try again and ask Allah for His help and guidence without Him we would definitly go astray.

I'm here if anyone needs to talk about it

So true. I worry about converts, male and female, who take too much on before they are really familar with the tenets of the faith. Bridget, I thought you took on too much early on, but you were so defensive about your choices. It's best always to recommend to newbies that they take it slow and create a comfort zone around their early decisions to see if they can maintain them for the long run.

Some topics, like hijab, have taken on a political significance that ebbs and flows. Right now, the emphasis on it is high. There have been plenty of times when it's low. Based on my own study, I gave up the headscarf decades ago. I'm most comfortable with the decision because I'm confident in my sources and the defense of my choice. Its not a pilar of the fatih, after all, and it's debatable whether Allah requires it, or if it's an element of culture that has become too widely identified with Islam. How one chooses to incorporate the various viewpoints is personal, but one should definitely believe in what you do.

You put said it better than I ever could.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Maybe I'll be condemned for this but....

I was in the same situation with the praying, and hijab etc. I took on a lot when I became a Muslim. I even started working at the mosque! I was the most "hijabalicious" girl on campus (Jilbab and hijab, loose clothes etc...). I felt like this is what God wanted and that is what I wanted. I wore it for a whole year before I began to ask questions.

Long story short... I took off the hijab because I do not see the evidence in the Qur'an for it (Please reserve judgement sisters...). My husband was a little weird about it at first, but then he saw me blossom in my faith in God and in my everyday life. He saw that I was still dressing modestly even without a scarf on my head. I guess I just never understood why I needed to cover my head. I would ask kindly if I was not preached to about this topic.

In my heart, I believe I am still "hijabalicious." I am humble and submit to my God. God is inside my heart and I have never felt closer to God, my family and myself. I feel whole.

I understand totally what you are feeling. I believe you should do what makes you closer to God.

May God guide your heart.

I've said this a million times; in the Quran, hijab is never mentioned as a means of dress. It's about your ability to accept the message and incorporate it into your life. In fact, the Quran advises “O you Children of Adam! We have bestowed on you raiment to cover your shame as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness, that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition.” [Q 7:26]

[Kenza 1]

I somewhat agree with your answers but I think hijab-for me- is a "jihad" for the women of Islam. It shows people our identity (esp. in the west) and it is a way for people to ask questions. this is all in addition to the Qur'an and I don't want to go into debate just given my opinion

[Leyla 0]

I somewhat agree with your answers but I think hijab-for me- is a "jihad" for the women of Islam. It shows people our identity (esp. in the west) and it is a way for people to ask questions. this is all in addition to the Qur'an and I don't want to go into debate just given my opinion

I agree with you to an extent. It does show our identity and opens up the conversation door. I just feel like now, I can give people another version of Islam. In the West a lot of people (at least where I live) see the hijab as an oppressive garment. I disagree, but that it how they see it. As a "Non-hijabi" I show them that Islam is not about clothing or being forced to do something. It is above all worshiping and believing in the ONE GOD. It is also about freedom and choice and Islam is not just for Arabs. It's for everyone and anyone.