Muslims

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

My hubby does the silent thing and he knows I hate it. I'd rather talk things out and move on. But he likes to stew and make me sweat.

I'm glad it's not a religion thing cause I have a hard time giving silent treatment and this is something I would fail at miserably. MEN!

[Sandrila 1]

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Feb. 18, 2009

Media contact: Wajahat Ali, 510-909-7506, wajahatmali@hotmail.com

American Muslims Call for Swift Action Against Domestic Violence

Murder of Buffalo resident Aasiya Zubair spurs American Muslims to forcefully address domestic abuse and violence against women; call on imams to address DV in Friday sermons

SAN FRANCISCO - A coalition of Muslim organizations, journalists, community leaders, imams, and other concerned citizens are calling for immediate action by American Muslim leaders and religious figures to address domestic abuse and violence in America, including that found in the American Muslim community, on Friday, February 20, 2009.

In response to the collective concern of the American Muslim community, imams and religious leaders across America have been asked to speak out against domestic violence to their congregations. They are asked to remind congregants of the Prophet Muhammad's abhorrence of harshness, abuse and violence, and emphasize solutions that strengthen families and ensure all members are treated with fairness and respect, free of fear of abuse or violence.

Members of the coalition are contacting imams and religious leaders in major Islamic centers and mosques. They are encouraging sermons addressing domestic violence and are offering resources available through the Peaceful Families Project, a Muslim-run domestic violence prevention organization founded in 2000, to help educate the American Muslim community. This education addresses the extent to which domestic violence exists and strategies to stop it.

Several prominent imams have heeded the call to action by concerned American Muslims including Shaykh Hamza Yusuf of the Zaytuna Institute in Berkeley, Ca. and Imam Tahir Anwar of the South Bay Islamic Association in San Jose, Ca. These imams have committed their Friday sermons to addressing domestic violence and preaching that in the Islamic tradition and by the example of the Prophet Muhammad, family harmony can never be achieved by force and that emotional and physical abuse is never acceptable.

This call is being broadcast through various channels, including blogs, Facebook groups, personal contacts, and news media. "The outcry among Muslim Americans against this type of violence is a heartfelt one," said Shahed Amanullah, editor-in-chief of the online newsmagazine altmuslim.com. "It is essential that we address the problem and take steps to ensure that no one else faces the same tragic fate as Ms. Zubair."

Specific calls to action for imams and religious leaders include:

1. Unequivocally denounce domestic violence and any attitudes that enable or excuse it
2. Remind Muslims that the Prophet Muhammad condemned with unequivocal language all forms of spousal abuse.
3. Immediately create community social service committees made up of qualified social service providers to supply educational resources and staff institutional programs that support abused and battered women.
4. Promote educational and awareness programs that outline abusive and violent behaviors.
5. Allow community members ways of pointing out and preventing the emergence or escalation of possibly abusive relationships and environments

Individuals and organizations helping to organize this call (partial list, titles for identification purposes only):

• Salma Abugideri, Peaceful Families Project
• Wajahat Ali, Playwright, Attorney and Journalist, domesticcrusaders.com
• Shahed Amanullah, editor-in-chief of the online newsmagazine altmuslim.com
• Zeba Iqbal, Council for the Advancement of Muslim Professionals
• Ruby Khan, Director, Hamdard Center for Health and Human Services
• Dr. Aminah McCloud, Professor of Islamic Studies, DePaul University
• Hussein Rashid, Visiting Professor, Hofstra University, husseinrashid.com

Mosques, imams, and organizations confirmed to have joined this effort (partial list):

• Arab American Association of New York (New York, NY)
• Arab Muslim American Federation (New York, New York)
• Council of the Islamic Organizations of Greater Chicago - Imam Abdul Malik Muhajid
• Islamic Society of San Francisco - Imam Khalid Siddiqui
• Islamic House of Wisdom (Dearborn, MI) - Imam Mohammad Elahi
• Islamic Center of Greater Lansing (Detroit, MI) - Imam Dawud Walid
• South Bay Islamic Association (San Jose, CA) - Imam Tahir Anwar
• The Islamic Center at New York University - Haroon Moghul
• Zaytuna Institute (Berkeley, CA) - Shaykh Hamza Yusuf

Resources for the media regarding Muslim efforts to confront domestic violence:

• ACCESS (Michigan): www.accesscommunity.org
• Apna Ghar (Chicago): www.apnaghar.org
• Central Texas Muslimaat (Austin, Texas): http://www.ctmaustin.org
• Domestic Violence Resources for Muslims: http://www.crescentlife.com/psychissues/domestic_violence.htm
• Facebook Call to Action: www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=54807221754
• Hamdard Center for Health and Human Services (Chicago): http://www.hamdardcenter.org
• Manavi (New York, NY): http://www.manavi.org
• Muslims For Progressive Values (Los Angeles): http://www.thepetitionsite.com/1/mpv-dv
• Narika (San Francisco): http://www.narika.org
• North American Islamic Shelter for the Abused (San Francisco): http://www.ask-nisa.org
• Peaceful Families Project: www.peacefulfamilies.org
• Sakhi (New York, NY): http://www.sakhi.org
• SEMAH (San Francisco): http://www.semah.org
• Tahirih Justice Center (Falls Church, Va..): http://www.tahirih.org
• Turning Point for Women and Families (New York, NY): www.turningpoint-ny.org

I wonder if that is a result of that man who beheaded his wife, I cant remember where it happened but it was this week, I read it in Wed paper.

Thank you for posting this as well. Very nice to see people trying to step up the awareness, support and end to domestic violence.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I think I read it was from New York. They were from Pakistan. I do believe that it is a result of it because I got something on facebook this morning and it had their picture on it.

[Muh and me 18]

I think I read it was from New York. They were from Pakistan. I do believe that it is a result of it because I got something on facebook this morning and it had their picture on it.

Ya this iswhat this is the result from. I got a letter from our masjid the other day stateing all this!

[HLM 1]

My husband and I were shocked when we saw the video on youtube!!! He is a founder of Brigde TV trying to help the image of muslims in the US after the 9/11 attacks!

[Aymsgirl 0]

My husband and I were shocked when we saw the video on youtube!!! He is a founder of Brigde TV trying to help the image of muslims in the US after the 9/11 attacks!

I was shocked to learn he had that station as well. He burned his bridge to any education and image he was personally trying to build. Now people are freaking out everywhere...I hear did you hear about the Muslim man that did an honor killing of his wife and chopped her head off. I really hate the image that the US public has of Islam. It seems like we start to take a step forward and then something like this happens or like the man that killed his two daughters last year.

[HLM 1]

i know exactly what u mean! but i wd easily tell these ppl off by reminding them of the priests molesting children or the ted haggard scandal; i ve seen a priest pay a hitman to kill a woman's husband whom he was having an affair with and many more so the point is....a sinner is the one responsible for his sin...not the religion not the society no one but HIMSELF!! also it has nothing to do with honor killing; he snapped thats all!! If he was following his religion in any way he wdnt b in that situation the first place...plain n simple!

God will always test our faith and will make it harder to know who is true with his faith n who is not!!

may Allah guide us all ameeen

[Ihavequestions 419]

Are you asking if there is a Biblical basis to cover? Or, if a Christian wife chooses to cover out of respect for her Muslim husband?

I understand the Biblical basis to cover.

And, no, it's not out of respect for my husband. Neither of his (married) sisters cover their hair. Actually, they don't cover their arms and one doesn't cover her legs, so "covering" isn't an issue within the family itself. My reason to do it isn't for him, it's for me.

There is a whole movement within certain denominations/sects in Christianity that advocate dressing modestly including covering the hair. Google "Christian Modesty" and you'll see a lot of options.

Thank you. I did google and I did see. I appreciate the suggestion. It was helpful.

As for just covering out of respect for your husband - that would be totally up to you. Discuss it over time and determine when, where, why, and how - also be prepared for some flack from others over it. It was one thing to say "I do this because of my beliefs/religion" it's a whole other ball of wax to say "I do this because my husband likes it/expects it".

We have talked about it. He reminded me that he's not telling me to do it, that it's a choice, and told me to try it and if I don't like it, to take it back off.

I'm still undecided....

[Aymsgirl 0]

i know exactly what u mean! but i wd easily tell these ppl off by reminding them of the priests molesting children or the ted haggard scandal; i ve seen a priest pay a hitman to kill a woman's husband whom he was having an affair with and many more so the point is....a sinner is the one responsible for his sin...not the religion not the society no one but HIMSELF!! also it has nothing to do with honor killing; he snapped thats all!! If he was following his religion in any way he wdnt b in that situation the first place...plain n simple!

God will always test our faith and will make it harder to know who is true with his faith n who is not!!

may Allah guide us all ameeen

i know exactly what u mean! but i wd easily tell these ppl off by reminding them of the priests molesting children or the ted haggard scandal; i ve seen a priest pay a hitman to kill a woman's husband whom he was having an affair with and many more so the point is....a sinner is the one responsible for his sin...not the religion not the society no one but HIMSELF!! also it has nothing to do with honor killing; he snapped thats all!! If he was following his religion in any way he wdnt b in that situation the first place...plain n simple!

God will always test our faith and will make it harder to know who is true with his faith n who is not!!

may Allah guide us all ameeen

This is exactly what my husband says to try and educate people when they say things like this. Good advice for anybody to be able to be armoured with when they are put in this situation.

[UmmSqueakster 54]

For Aasiya

The demons of anger, hatred, and rage are the absolute worst because they deprive human beings of the faculty of rational judgment and overwhelm any manifestation of compassion or conscience.

It is this type of anger which our beloved Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, warned against when he said to the man who came seeking counsel:

Do not get angry.

Despite the man's repeated requests for further advice, the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, made a point of reiterating his statement:

Do not get angry.

This rigorously authenticated transmission has been commented upon by a number of scholars. Imam Nawawi, one of the most eminent of these commentators, stated that the Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, realized that anger was a natural trait of human beings and had the ability to well up in all of us. However, the exhortation in this hadith is not so much that we have to avoid anger altogether, but that we must not, under any circumstances, act upon a state of anger. Why? Because acting upon one's anger can have untold consequences for the enraged person and the object of his rage. Anger is literally from the devil and is one of Shaytan's greatest weapons against the believer. That is why our noble Prophet, Allah bless him and give him peace, taught us a number of ways to protect against anger, the foremost of which is seeking refuge in Allah Most High, performing ablution, and removing ourselves from the situation.

Anger is devastating.

And in this terrible case, unchecked anger, hatred, and rage have resulted in the taking of an innocent woman's life and the destruction of an entire family. There are children who have been immeasurably harmed by this…children who no longer have a mother or a father.

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

I'm not sure if I asked this before, I'm getting old and forgetful, sorry! But, what exactly is the thought behind toenail polish and praying? What really is the harm in having it on? My hubby says it's cause the water during Wudu doesn't touch your actual toenail and it has to. But if your toes are clean when it's put on, wouldn't that be ok? I'm guessing it's not in hadith cause they didn't have polish back then, right? I'd really love it to be ok to wear it and be ok to pray too. I'm guessing I'm stuck with un-cute toes??

[catknit 144]

Tina - I just had a VERY similar confab with my fiance last week - I personally don't know; however, the explanation you were given is spot on with how it was explained to me. I just thought it was funny that the exact random question came up!

[UmmSqueakster 54]

If you broke your wudu, you'd have to take the nail polish off, make wudu, and then re apply the polish. One of the conditions of wudu is that the water touch your finger and toe nails, and the polish is a paint that stops the water from touching the nails.

During that time of the month when you don't pray, you don't make wudu, so that'd be the ideal time to wear it.

[Ahmed N Tina 2]

I had a feeling that was the way it was. <sigh> Ok, I'll be cracking out that polish once a month I guess.

I won't be able to pray while at my Dad's, so I'm going to indulge a bit there Course, it will come straight off when I get home.

Thank you Milo and Jenn!!

[Aymsgirl 0]

If you broke your wudu, you'd have to take the nail polish off, make wudu, and then re apply the polish. One of the conditions of wudu is that the water touch your finger and toe nails, and the polish is a paint that stops the water from touching the nails.

During that time of the month when you don't pray, you don't make wudu, so that'd be the ideal time to wear it.

I'm right here with you Tina.