christians and muslims

[chri'stina 190]

If you are already having fights about your differing beliefs, then I think it's not going to get better. I am one who believes in marrying someone of the same faith because of how my faith is very important to me and it had to be as important to the person I was marrying or I'd feel part of my life with them was missing.

If both people are passionate about their faith, and are going to argue all the time because of it, it doesn't sound like a happy situation. And remember that you can't just change someone and being together can't convince and change them of something unless they decide to change on their own. I have had lots of debates with people and sometimes they change and sometimes they don't but it would be hard for me to marry someone who didn't value my beliefs to the same degree I do. I know people can be happy when they don't believe the same, but I think the degree in which they believe or how they want to raise kids, etc, has a lot to do with it,like if they feel stronger common ground on something else.

[~PalmTreeGurl~ 154]

If you are already having fights about your differing beliefs, then I think it's not going to get better. I am one who believes in marrying someone of the same faith because of how my faith is very important to me and it had to be as important to the person I was marrying or I'd feel part of my life with them was missing.

Agreed... and agreed with Nagi ... Check your faith and walk with God and pray about it. God will give you a peace and a clear answer on what is right for you to do. -Tam

[Marlita 0]

I would think it could be an extremely difficult realtionship. I am Christian and I really value alot of Muslim beliefs and lifestyles, but my faith is still in Jesus Christ as saviour. So if my husband didn't beileve in that it could cause a problem. If you are not a practicing Christian I am sure it really doesnt matter if your husband is Muslim, but if you both truly value your faith, then that is apart of your DAILY lives. You are not just Christian on Sunday morning....so the daily things you do, how you behave, how you think, how you speak, should all be reflecting your faith in jesus. If your husband does the same in Mohammed then....I would think issues could arise.

[Jenni_Harkonen 0]

Trina, I dated a man for two years who was Muslim, but not particularly religious. I have always been a regular church-goer. It did not work out for us when we started discussing marriage and children. Like you, I could not see raising my child any religion than the one in which I was raised. I did not really like the idea of my children going to a mosque. And even though my boyfriend didn't think at the time that it would matter, deep down it did. He would also have wanted to show him what Islam is about. It was difficult at the time, but eventually I decided to go my own way and to break up with him. In hindsight, it was the best thing I could have done in this situation. Also, you have to understand that for a man to believe its POSSIBLE and permittable for a man to have more than one wife, also brings forth other issues you may have not thought of. If its possible for a man to have more than one wife, it is also possible for a man with a current wife to flirt or look at other women--even if its not legally possible in the USA for him to marry another. In other words, he morally has his options "open." Do not take this lightly, for unless he is an extremely orthodox muslim, cheating is somewhat culturally more permissable for a Muslim than for a Christian. Mohammed had many concubines as well as wives, and having a concubine, from what I understand, is permissable in some people's interpretation if Islam. A concubine is nothing more than a mistress. I have known of at least a dozen Christian-Muslim partnerships over the last 15 years, and only two are still functioning, and many of them broke up due to the wife's discovery of her husband's infidelities. I do not know you or your fiance, so I cannot judge your personal situation, but since you asked for feedback, I am giving it to you. I am now engaged to a Swedish national, and we too have religious differences--he is athiest although he was baptised Lutheran, which is the Christian faith I follow. We both have teenage sons, and we've agreed not to interfere in this matter with our respective sons.

[BMJ 0]

It depends on how much you place on relegion. If you are very active in your faith, and your fiance' is very active it "could" drive a wedge between you to if you do not first set down ground rules.

I consider myself fairly relgious, Mark however while he believes in God, is not relgious at all. In fact, in our first premartial session with the pastor he told her that he does believe in God, but not relegion. Luckily she has a sense of humor and laughed it off saying "Good thing not everyone thinks like that or I would not have a job." I sing in the church choir, we go to church on Wednesdays and Sundays, and Mark hasnt gone since he was a boy.

We are not letting that become an issue. It is something we have talked about.

My suggestion? Just talk to each other, find out if it is something you can live with. I think that while each relegion has some differences, almost all of them end up celebrating God in one form or another. Some relegions call him by a different name. And I am sure that some people will say it is totally different. But for me, I think people being different is what makes the world go round. It makes it more interesting. If we all beleived in the same thing life would be rather boring.

You can't just say this or that will break up a couple. If you two communicate, and go in with an open and accepting relationship, and can accept the differences, and not only accept them but celebrate them, then anything is possible.

When all is said and done, if it will work or not will depend on you and your fiance'. Accept each other as different and expect there to be some rough times (will be with any couple) and be willig to work on it, or if you feel it is too different and something you could not accept then that is something you need to think about and talk with your fiance' about.

[chri'stina 190]

I just wanted to say something else I thought of...

You can't help who you love sometimes. You can love someone you never expected to, and love things about them even if you don't agree on everything. So don't feel like anyone is judging or bashing you for loving someone that you are having these second thoughts about now. I do think it's really important that maybe you take a step back from everything and examine it with an objective eye if possible. It seems like only 3 things can happen...1-he'll change, 2-you'll change, 3-you won't change but will supress how you feel about your beliefs(which I personally wouldn't suggest). If none of those things seem like they are going to happen, it could be a hard road. IMO there are a lot of big differences between Islam and Christianity even if people try to make it not seem so.

Edited May 21, 2008 by stina&suj

[SaadBell 0]

I wish I could give you words of wisdom, all I can say is you know what is right in your heart. I am not religious; husband is Muslim, what brings us together our belief in human rights, deep beliefs in how we feel people should treat one another. If you have something to draw you two together, basic beliefs, than yes I know it can work. Now with children, that makes it a little harder, I have one daughter, and husband has two daughters and two sons, so kids are already here, all I want out of the deal is a doctor. The oldest, my daughter is going to teach like Hesham and is now looking for grad schools, the second oldest daughter, she is talking about medical school, let’s hope she will go. I need my own personal doctor that can write step-mommy prescriptions. I put really hard problems on what I call my back burner, if I have a problem I am not sure what to do, I put it on my back burner in my mind, the problem is there, but in the back of my mind, simmering. Sometimes just not forcing an answer, the answer will come while I am not even focused on it. I hope that makes sense, also talking to friends, sometimes you answer your own questions and solve your problems by just talking and venting.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I agree with Sara that there are mixed faith marriages like Christian and Muslim that do work and others that do not. I don't think that you can label a general tag on it and say they do or do not. Honestly, I think you both have to realize that you can't expect the other person to change their religion just as you can't expect to change a person when you marry. If you marry a Muslim you know that is who you married, don't have these thoughts in your head that you will change him because honestly, it probably will not happen. He should be the same and accepting of you. I have also realized that you shouldn't fight over it. Talk about the differences between each other but know when to leave the conversation if it gets heated. You do need to come to a compromise before children come into the issue. I think you need to pray hard over this because children will cause you problems if you both think that you are correct and the other is very wrong. Also, how you raise your children will depend on how open minded your husband is. If he is strict he will say Islam only so just keep communication open with regards to the children.

You really can't help sometimes whom the heart is fond of. I do believe that if this marriage is what you want then you will have to work a little harder at it but look at it with your heart and your mind. I am sure what you are going through a lot of us have also. Just pray that God will show you the way and use your faith to walk by.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Bottom line is if you both can distinguish between gods law and mans law you can make it work. Religion and faith are 2 different things, learn the differences and understand. The bible (new testiment) was written 400 plus years after Jesus by the Catholic Church. Understand what was written and trust in it not the words of men telling you what it means. This goes for the Qur’an also, understand it and not mans writtings to their interpretations. You may find that the life expected to live form both are not all that different.

[pcana 0]

Bottom line is if you both can distinguish between gods law and mans law you can make it work. Religion and faith are 2 different things, learn the differences and understand. The bible (new testiment) was written 400 plus years after Jesus by the Catholic Church. Understand what was written and trust in it not the words of men telling you what it means. This goes for the Qur’an also, understand it and not mans writtings to their interpretations. You may find that the life expected to live form both are not all that different.

FYI the New Testament wasn't written by the Catholic chuch,nor 400 after Jesus

[Nagishkaw 510]

I was just about to mention that. Thanks, pcana.

[Zee Bee 61]

Trina, I dated a man for two years who was Muslim, but not particularly religious. I have always been a regular church-goer. It did not work out for us when we started discussing marriage and children. Like you, I could not see raising my child any religion than the one in which I was raised. I did not really like the idea of my children going to a mosque. And even though my boyfriend didn't think at the time that it would matter, deep down it did. He would also have wanted to show him what Islam is about. It was difficult at the time, but eventually I decided to go my own way and to break up with him. In hindsight, it was the best thing I could have done in this situation. Also, you have to understand that for a man to believe its POSSIBLE and permittable for a man to have more than one wife, also brings forth other issues you may have not thought of. If its possible for a man to have more than one wife, it is also possible for a man with a current wife to flirt or look at other women--even if its not legally possible in the USA for him to marry another. In other words, he morally has his options "open." Do not take this lightly, for unless he is an extremely orthodox muslim, cheating is somewhat culturally more permissable for a Muslim than for a Christian. Mohammed had many concubines as well as wives, and having a concubine, from what I understand, is permissable in some people's interpretation if Islam. A concubine is nothing more than a mistress. I have known of at least a dozen Christian-Muslim partnerships over the last 15 years, and only two are still functioning, and many of them broke up due to the wife's discovery of her husband's infidelities. I do not know you or your fiance, so I cannot judge your personal situation, but since you asked for feedback, I am giving it to you. I am now engaged to a Swedish national, and we too have religious differences--he is athiest although he was baptised Lutheran, which is the Christian faith I follow. We both have teenage sons, and we've agreed not to interfere in this matter with our respective sons.

I don't know where you got your information from

Marriage to more than one woman is not just an issue for an interfaith relationship with a Muslim but even in a Muslim-Muslim relationship.

Cheating, aka adultery/infidelity, is against Islam and its beliefs. Just because a man married more than one woman does not mean that he cheated on his first wife.

Marrying more than one woman is allowed in Islam, but Muslim men are encouraged to marry only one because of the stipulations attached to marrying more than one woman. Ideally, if a man decides that he wants to marry another woman he is not exempt from the rules of morality and chastity that were in place when he married his first wife. Its not like he can go around and sample the local fare before marrying again.

In addition, there are Muslims that do not practice marrying more than one wife. In fact, the people who do are in the minority.

Cheating happens everywhere everyday. Married men flirt with women everyday in the US, Muslim and not. Heck, married women flirt in the US. It does not discriminate by race/religion/gender/sexuality.

To the OP: sorry, I just had to say something

[pcana 0]

I was just about to mention that. Thanks, pcana.

Sure Nagi...forgot too also mention that the Bible is not only the New testament.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I was just about to mention that. Thanks, pcana.

Sure Nagi...forgot too also mention that the Bible is not only the New testament.

So when was it written? and by whom?

[pcana 0]

I was just about to mention that. Thanks, pcana.

Sure Nagi...forgot too also mention that the Bible is not only the New testament.

So when was it written? and by whom?

it was written in the first 100 years after jesus died, the new testament has 27 different books, which one are you refering to?