WORK OR NOT TO WORK?? Husband, what do you prefer

[Completely 3]

What do you prefer? Your wife working and helping you financially or wifes staying at home and take care the kids??

I have a 60 hours work week with 2 days off a week.. I feel guilty about my son having to stay with my Nanny.. But I have no choice, I came from a poor family that has nothing....so I want to better our lives by me helping my husband financially and be a good wife and mother at the same time.. It difficult to prioritize things and sometimes I do feel guilty when I am at work from 5am to 6:30pm everyday.. But I do play with my son, spend time to my husband after work... My husband is okay with anything I do, he said whatever makes me happy..but i know deep inside I want to spend time with my son and stay home... Being independent since then, is hard to change especially when you know that Life now a days is not that easy....

I just feel guilty with my son of me working thats all... I just want to better our lives and establish a good future for him someday...

Anyone.. I need your insight please??

Edited May 20, 2008 by Completely

[reeses16 8]

If you are saving and spending the money you earn wisely, then I think you're giving your family the gift of financial security. Coming from a poor family I'm sure you recognize that this is something very valuable you are doing for your family. In my family for many years both my parents worked. I never felt deprived because they worked or because I went to day care. We spent most of our quality time together in the evenings and on weekends.

Try to maintain your balance. Its difficult, but be sure that you spend time on yourself too. We were supportive of the events in each others lives. For example, if I had something going on at school one if not both of my parents attended. My dad used to pay soft-ball, so my mom and I would go to some of his games. If my mom wanted to get more crafting supplies, we went together to help her pick out the patterns colors etc. In fact, I remember going to the grocery store with my mom as being quality time. I really don't think it matters how many hours you spend Monday through Friday, but rather the type of relationship that you build.

Think about it and realize that no matter what you do (stay home or work) you will feel guilty occasionally about your decision. Just remember WHY you made the decision in the first place.

Would you feel better about the situation if you reduced your work hours...60 hrs a week sounds like you have 2 jobs. Can you afford to give one up?

Edited May 20, 2008 by reeses16

[sj5 4]

why would you feel guilty when you're making money to pay your nanny and other needs but anyway, you shouldn't just leaved up to the nanny . try to managed your time.

Edited May 20, 2008 by SJ

[Completely 3]

If you are saving and spending the money you earn wisely, then I think you're giving your family the gift of financial security. Coming from a poor family I'm sure you recognize that this is something very valuable you are doing for your family. In my family for many years both my parents worked. I never felt deprived because they worked or because I went to day care. We spent most of our quality time together in the evenings and on weekends.

Try to maintain your balance. Its difficult, but be sure that you spend time on yourself too. We were supportive of the events in each others lives. For example, if I had something going on at school one if not both of my parents attended. My dad used to pay soft-ball, so my mom and I would go to some of his games. If my mom wanted to get more crafting supplies, we went together to help her pick out the patterns colors etc. In fact, I remember going to the grocery store with my mom as being quality time. I really don't think it matters how many hours you spend Monday through Friday, but rather the type of relationship that you build.

Think about it and realize that no matter what you do (stay home or work) you will feel guilty occasionally about your decision. Just remember WHY you made the decision in the first place.

Would you feel better about the situation if you reduced your work hours...60 hrs a week sounds like you have 2 jobs. Can you afford to give one up?

nope.. we are in a contract because we work overseas.. no choice ))

[William33 110]

It all depends on income. In our case, I earn enough for Eva to stay at home with the baby. There is nothing wrong with both parents working to make ends meet.

[Completely 3]

why would you feel guilty when you're making money to pay your nanny and other needs but anyway, you shouldn't just leaved up to the nanny . try to managed your time.

I leave my son during the day, but I do not forget my obligation to them when I came home after work... My nanny's duty is only till 7pm.. I dont depend to her for everything.. when I came home I am the wife and the mother to my son.. We spend quality time at night by playing and watching movies, going outside in the weekends.. Even I leave my son stay with my nanny at the daytime.. he still knows who mommy is....and I am really proud of that..

I feel guilty sometimes not at all times because I have to leave him the nanny, while some of my friends just stay home and spend time with their son...

[Completely 3]

why would you feel guilty when you're making money to pay your nanny and other needs but anyway, you shouldn't just leaved up to the nanny . try to managed your time.

I leave my son during the day, but I do not forget my obligation to them when I come home after work... My nanny's duty is only till 7pm.. I do not depend on her for everything.. when I came home I am the wife and the mother to my son.. We spend quality time at night by playing and going outside, watching movies in the weekends.. Even I leave my son stay with my nanny at daytime.. he still knows who mommy is....and I am really proud of that..

I feel guilty sometimes not at all times because I have to leave him the nanny, while some of my friends just stay home and spend time with their son...

[sj5 4]

why would you feel guilty when you're making money to pay your nanny and other needs but anyway, you shouldn't just leaved up to the nanny . try to managed your time.

I leave my son during the day, but I do not forget my obligation to them when I came home after work... My nanny's duty is only till 7pm.. I dont depend to her for everything.. when I came home I am the wife and the mother to my son.. We spend quality time at night by playing and watching movies, going outside in the weekends.. Even I leave my son stay with my nanny at the daytime.. he still knows who mommy is....and I am really proud of that..

I feel guilty sometimes not at all times because I have to leave him the nanny, while some of my friends just stay home and spend time with their son...

there's only one solution for you

A.) give up your career for your son to relief your guilt if you think it'll fix your guilt(as you mention like your friend staying at home if they can afford to stay home why not?)

or

b.) keep your job. ( i don't think you're neglecting your child) i think you're doing great.

i'm also a mom and working but with my husband so there's no problem with time.

Edited May 20, 2008 by SJ

[jundp 191]

It all depends on income. In our case, I earn enough for Eva to stay at home with the baby. There is nothing wrong with both parents working to make ends meet.

Very well said. Sometimes both parents must work. No one should ever make you feel guilty for doing this, but if life has reached that point where you need to be home with your son and you can afford it, then you also shouldn't feel guilty about quitting work.

It's such a delicate and very personalized situation. What works for one family won't work for another. I think you need to be happy in your role as mom, wife, person. But also, don't neglect yourself in the process!

[sj5 4]

It all depends on income. In our case, I earn enough for Eva to stay at home with the baby. There is nothing wrong with both parents working to make ends meet.

Very well said. Sometimes both parents must work. No one should ever make you feel guilty for doing this, but if life has reached that point where you need to be home with your son and you can afford it, then you also shouldn't feel guilty about quitting work.

It's such a delicate and very personalized situation. What works for one family won't work for another. I think you need to be happy in your role as mom, wife, person. But also, don't neglect yourself in the process!

you're definitely right!

[almaty 19]

sanita does not work at a job, but is the ahrdest working person i ahve ever met..she is constantly working outside and inside, even the folks down the street marvel at her....

she plans on working later on, after she is a citizen and get her driver's license...and we get a car for ehr

[TracyTN 237]

You should decide together what is best for your family. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

[almaty 19]

You should decide together what is best for your family. What anyone else thinks is irrelevant.

agreed.....what is best for you as a couple and as an individual comes before all else