foreigner adjustment to US

[sydkym 0]

Hi everyone,

I was wondering how other people´s spouses adjusted to living in the US. My husband has lived in Peru his entire life, and has never been to another country. I know he will love being in the US--there´s so much more opportunity there (despite being away from his family), but he´s very nervous as our visa process comes close to an end. So how did other people in the same situation do?

[Krikit 1,165]

Here are a few threads on the topic which should shed some light. I'm the immigrant spouse and I found the first year to be extremely difficult for not only myself but also for the family and friends I left behind. But it does get easier.

Settling In & How You Did It

Questions for the Immigrant Spouse

How Long Was the Adjusting Period?

[Vi Mazzella 4]

Hi There

I'm peruvian too and I have to say that the fist year was extremely difficult for me BUT my lovely husband was my Angel, he had so much patience with me. Tell your hubby to spend alot of time with his family now that he is in Peru. The good thing if he is coming under the CR1Visa he will be able to work right away I started working and making new friends and that helps alot. Tell your husband to start looking for jobs or to at least have an idea of what he wants to do here.

Good luck

Vi

[Arequipa4us 0]

Thank you for this topic. I have been wondering and a little concerned about this too. My wife is very close to her family in Peru, but fortunately her Uncle and Aunt live right next door to my parents, and throughout the immigration process I have been making sure that she is establishing relationships with my family, and a few of my closest friends. Via our phone calls, I just make her a part of my day, even through the distance. So I am just using my network of friends and family to help with the adjustment, prior to her arrival. I am so proud of her! I am sure it will be hard, but she is a very strong, intelligent woman...and our community here in CA is need desperate need of woman like her.

We are the ones that will probably have the adjustment issues...hahaha!!!

We are close to making it out of NVC, just paid the IV Processing Fee - Online!!!!!

[Mononoke28 135]

My husband is from Colombia and had a rough three months when he got here. He was depressed and missed his family quite a bit but as soon as he started working and going to school for English, he started liking it a lot better.

I also told him while he was there to take advantage of the time he was spending with his family. He didn't pay attention to me since he was so desperate to come here and now regrets it. So now he's planning on going back to visit some time this year. I've been telling him the same thing, to take advantage of every single minute he's there with his family because he won't be back for a while. I hope he listens this time.

Diana

[Susita 175]

I'm concerned about this too... although Luis is not for some reason.

I really think that this whole thing hasn't hit him yet, and when he's about to leave he'll get all worried, he's like that.

He's already taking English classes there, so I think he'll just continue here and the good thing is that here where I am in NY, English classes are free or really dirt cheap. He's paying about 40 dollars a month over there, which here is nothing, but over there is a lot.

I'm also going to make his life even harder and speak English all the time, hehe. My kids don't speak Spanish although they understand it, so that should help him out alot. Also, getting a job over here frequently doesn't require that you speak English b/c there's such a large Hispanic population. So at least he can get something to start with and then move up as his english gets better.

I'm just worried that he is taking it all too lightly and really is going to have a hard time leaving his family.

We'll see.

[Chamy and Gatita 3]

Thanks for sharing, everyone, I feel I am in the same boat. i m really worried about his adjustment once he gets here. !!!

[miss*cordova 0]

I am worried about this too, my fiancé has lived in Ecuador his whole life and he is going to be in for quite a shock when he gets here I think.

He acknowledges the fact that everything is really different, but I'm not sure he understands fully what lies ahead. I am also going to be in college full time and working part time when he arrives, I hope that he doesn't get too bored and lonely!

It feels nice to talk to people in the same boat

[TexaswithLove 0]

I lived most of my entire life in the Philippines.It was so hard for me to left my family behind me and come to the US and be with a new environment, start a new life with my husband. The first few months is just really depressing but I am thankful with my husband who does a lot of effort to look for Filipino friends here in the US for me. Every time He saw Asian people , He always asked and introduce himself and ask them if they are from Philippines and then eventually tell them that His wife is Filipino too.

Basically, I met Filipinos here in Texas because of my husband's effort to helped me adjust with my new environment. Every now and then I still missed my family a lot because I came from a very close-bonded family. And hopefully one day we will be able to visit them again and be with them again,actually this year when we have enough money,time and able to leave our job for awhile and take vacation together.

But I am thankful that my husband is so kind,loving and very understanding with my situation when I first arrived here in the US. Now, I have a lot of friends, though I missed my family I still do my best to always chat/talked to them regularly on the phone, email them and do voice chat.

Don't worry, all your fiance need from you is your over all support and love and you will succeed.

-Gerie

[athena_ny 1]

My husband had been here for 4 years before we got married, so he spoke English and all that. And to be honest, he doesn't like it here. He stays here because of me, but if we could, he'd go back to Peru in an instant. He doesn't see this as the land of opportunity, especially considering he works his butt off for nothing. He has friends and all that, it's just this this is not his country and never will be, and he doesn't like it all that much. I hate to rain on everyone's parade, but even after one adjusts it doesn't necessarily mean they will love it in the US.

[Vi Mazzella 4]

My husband had been here for 4 years before we got married, so he spoke English and all that. And to be honest, he doesn't like it here. He stays here because of me, but if we could, he'd go back to Peru in an instant. He doesn't see this as the land of opportunity, especially considering he works his butt off for nothing. He has friends and all that, it's just this this is not his country and never will be, and he doesn't like it all that much. I hate to rain on everyone's parade, but even after one adjusts it doesn't necessarily mean they will love it in the US.

I'm in the same boat, I don't love it here, I'm here just because of my hubby. I had a job that I love in Peru and an awesome family, the US was never in my plans, until I met Sil. I keep telling Sil that we should move to Peru, maybe in the future .

[Putali 0]

My husband has been here 5 months and has adjusted extremely well for a farm boy from Nepal. Let me give you an example... we were eating at my favorite Spanish restaurant here in San Diego and I ordered a nice rioja to start off with the tapas. My husband reminded me to order the cheese plate saying that he loved how cheese and olives go so well with wine. And on another occasion, I came home from work to find my husband watching a movie on the computer next to the bed with a glass of white wine in hand. He's still my farm boy, but his tastes have gone from yak cheese to manchego and from raksi to rioja. Now if we can only improve on his written english and have him stop talking "like, you know" a southern California, we'd be in perfect shape.

[athena_ny 1]

My husband had been here for 4 years before we got married, so he spoke English and all that. And to be honest, he doesn't like it here. He stays here because of me, but if we could, he'd go back to Peru in an instant. He doesn't see this as the land of opportunity, especially considering he works his butt off for nothing. He has friends and all that, it's just this this is not his country and never will be, and he doesn't like it all that much. I hate to rain on everyone's parade, but even after one adjusts it doesn't necessarily mean they will love it in the US.

I'm in the same boat, I don't love it here, I'm here just because of my hubby. I had a job that I love in Peru and an awesome family, the US was never in my plans, until I met Sil. I keep telling Sil that we should move to Peru, maybe in the future .

We plan on moving to Peru in the future. After my parents have died, most likely, and maybe just for retirement. I love Peru so