Dealing with SO's opinions about future children

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

I wouldn't say that he's become more religious because he doesn't pray at all. He is definitely not a practicing Muslim which is what grates my cheese about this. I always knew that when and if we had children they would have Muslims names and would be raised not eating pork and observing Islamic holidays. Even while we were apart I would ask him what things I could do to help raise our son in an Islamic way in his absence. I played the Adan often for him (just wasn't possible everyday) and have done more in reality than my husband to promote Islamic traditions and beliefs than my husband has. He's been real apathetic about the whole thing actually. He talks all the time about how important it is for our children to be raised as Muslims, but all the while, he's not walkin' the walk....know what I mean?

Sorry to hear all this is happening to you (F) I don´t know if I can give any advice since I don´t know your husband and I´m not walking in your shoes, but I know if something like that happened to me it would be very heartbreaking, especially since he never even mentioned anything like this before you got married and you said you brought up these issues before, cuz you were afraid of something like this happening. It´s also sad that you have to consider not having anymore children cuz of this issue. There are a few ways this can go. If you decide you want more kids cuz you never wanted only one child and it turns out to be a girl, he will either gradually change his mind about this or he won´t. If he changes his mind, great. If he doesn´t, not so great. I wouldn´t let my daughter suffer from being raised in double standards. I think if nothing would improve in this field, if it was me, I´d consider a divorce and raise the children without the father. It´s sad but I think it´s better than stopping daughters from living their lives and becoming successful in their future. Or you can decide to not have anymore children which is heartbreaking for you too. So not so great either. You could consider adopting another boy though. I wish you all the luck in the world and hopefully this will all work out well in the end(F)

Also I just wanted to add. It´s nice to raise kids (both girls and boys) to respect themselves and others and save their virginity till after marriage. On the other hand, there are couples I know who have lived together for a number of years, never got married and have several children together and can´t be happier. Therefore I think it´s even more important to teach the kids about how not to use other people and how not to be used by other people and teach them about safety. Cuz if it happens that they choose to make love to someone they have loved for 2 or 3 years or whatever and they are old enough to do so, then there´s nothing wrong with that. It´s more important that they don´t catch any disease. Or get pregnant when they still have a year or two of college to finish. Things like that, you know?

[Ovaltine Jenkins 5]

Yeah those kind of men should just die for thinking they can play God and put anyone to death. But that's not how majority of men from there are like. Alot of women on this board can back that up because abuse isn't tolerated in USA so I doubt anyone would marry someone thinking they'd get beat up. There are some of those bad apples though who do beat on wives and sisters because of respect was broken. Usually happens in poor areas where respect is what can't be bought off with.

I know It´s just very difficult for me to understand why it would break any respect to anyone if a woman is having a nice and polite conversation with a man. Maybe those men think a woman can´t speak of anything but sex cuz that must be all her brain is able to think about?