Is this would usually happens?

[chloe 1]

JaEnglish girl, what exactly is a 'true basis to be here'?

I work 65 hours a week, I pay taxes and contribute to society in a positive way. If I had a baby with a USC, is that a 'true basis'? And what if I claimed government assistance to help raise my USC child, do I then have more of a right to be here

than without child?, just curious....

[carpe diem 2]

Hi all,

I have never spent much time in this part of the forum, but recently I have just glanced in here. All I see is getting a divorce left and right, and how can I get him/her deported, or how can I still stay in the US.

Seriously, am I just showing up at a weird time, or is this really all this forum is about? I am sorry, but what I see is story after story about how the husband/wife deceived me, be it the USC or the immigrant. And I have to admit, when I read this and I hear someone go on and on about how right after they got here that their spouse (most I have seen is the husband) has changed, and that they are abusive, or they fear for their life, well it just has a ring of a bs story.

Sorry guys, I may be all wrong about this, but I just get so ticked off at the thought of anyone using a person for a green card. How can someone have such a cold heart? I am sure that some have legitimate stories, but man this has me depressed.

Responding to the OP's post: Unfortunately there are people who will do practically anything to move here, or just to get out of their own countries. Remember the boat people? These poor souls were risking their lives. These days the Internet certainly makes things easier for someone intent on living in the US. Of course, true love can begin on the Internet, but there are definitely some people who use this medium to try to date men or women in countries more desirable than their own. Again, this is not to say that all of them are "using" the USCs or even that there's anything wrong with making the country someone lives in a criterion in trying to find a mate. In an online dating scene in which you need to be selective, American citizenship is an asset, just like wealth or education.

However, I do think there's a small group of people who will marry just about anyone for a green card-- to escape horrible conditions in their own countries (including repressive regimes or terrible poverty), or simply because they dream about living in the US and marrying an American appears to be the easiest, or even the only, way to get here. I'm sure a few people will go so far as to "use" American citizens by seducing them and making them feel loved all the while plotting for a divorce as soon as the card arrives. I also think many people who don't love the USC who sponsors them genuinely hope they may be able to develop a relationship or just underestimate how difficult it is to actually live together with someone you don't love. Although these people are probably often not upfront with the USC about their feelings and motives, I'm not sure they are necessarily cold-hearted. Plenty of people ultimately "settle" for a person with whom they aren't in love, and aren't honest about that.

What I don't buy is the idea that in these situations, the USC is always an innocent, unsuspecting victim deserving of sympathy. In many cases (not all) the USC is established in this country and has more family, friends, and resources than the immigrant. I think sometimes USCs don't take the time necessary to make sure the relationship is real, and often the USC takes a risk and knows it. Yes it is a terrible experience to be deceived but often there have been red flags that the USC chose to ignore. Although there are USCs on this board who say their spouse suddenly showed his/her "true self" or revealed his/her "intentions" after the green card arrived, it is hard for me to believe that someone can be such a great actor for the few years it takes to get to that point.

I have to say though, overall I find this forum incredibly uplifting. It's great to read about all these couples who come from different countries and backgrounds and to sense the optimism and courage with which they undertake the visa journey. Too bad this country is so large, it would be great to have a VJ party!

[*JG* 2]

Sometimes even after all the hoops and waiting, people find out they really weren't compatible. Sure, the green card is the only reason some people come here. But, more often then not, the intentions were true to begin with and it just didn't work out. Those who are upset seem to speak the loudest. I'm sure if you checked the statistics, it would be the same or nearly the same as the marriage/divorce rates of non-immigrants.

It's all a crapshoot. You just hope you made the right decisions along the way.

Don't lose heart. There are plenty of true love stories on here too.

I learn lessons from the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[JaEnglishGirl 34]

JaEnglish girl, what exactly is a 'true basis to be here'?

I work 65 hours a week, I pay taxes and contribute to society in a positive way. If I had a baby with a USC, is that a 'true basis'? And what if I claimed government assistance to help raise my USC child, do I then have more of a right to be here

than without child?, just curious....

In my opinion, 'true basis' means being married to the person you claim you wanted to spend your life with until death do us part....

No, I don't think a baby should make a difference to YOU staying here.....

To Scott and MArta, I suggest you re-read my post and tell me exactly where I 'told' others what to do or 'decided' for them. Thanks in advance.