Confusion

[lyc2003 0]

Hi everybody, its weird but truth, im married with american girl who been married before and have kid from her previous marrige, she still have her tax, property, and insurance and so many other things with her ex. while i been there with her at her home so many things happend between us, which shouldnt be, i did mistakes so she did too, i forgot and forgave what she did but she never forgave mines, anyways, back to the point, while i been there with her at her house (which is own by her and her ex) she always asked me to leave, call cops on me and sometime she threated me to call her ex and he will kick me out off home, and so many times she slept at his home, and made excuse that her daughter wanted to sleep there or wanted to watch tv show etc, and some times she went out with him also, and that person he didnt get 4 year tax done( remember they both have joint tax), he didnt paid for home installments, and so much more. and my wife just get done her bankarupt, but still she have to pay thousands of dollars for her house, and car installments and alot, the money she made that gone to pay her bills, and other life wastage things (like buying expensive toys, dresses, jewel, parks, casions and traveling). so therefore she cant save a lil to pay for anything, she calm 2 times for her house and get money but she never fixed her house...

Im in usa under k1 visa i have ssn (for work auth only) and i have medical ins. Once my wife kicked me out of home and i spent some days somewhere and then she mail me to come back cus she was sick so i went back to take care of her, but after couple of weeks she start repeating same things and threat me, hit me and ask me to move out, but i refused all time then she found another way to kick me out, she said, i need to go somewhere cus im so depress at her home (cus i used to be alone there all time when she work), and it will be holidays for me, she said i need to find job so i could keep myself busy and save some money for *us*, and she has to get done alot of things like (home, tax and others) so we can move easily, and she have to talk to her daughter, to get her ready for move somewhere. well she made me believed that she is doing all that for us, so i belived her(me fool) and then i asked my parents to help me, they helped me and i moved to another state and stay there for couple of days then i got job, nice appartment and i was so happy(ofcourse cus now i will be able to do anything for her) but while i was at my friend home, i stayed in touch with my wife i used to call her everyday and night, i asked to her about come back but she refused and said her daughter done want me there, when i were there she used to leave me alone at home, she ignored me and i used to cry alot cus i gave up on everything to be with her but she made me feel sorry for everything.

so anyways i got job and place to stay i invite her to come there to see place where im dreaming to spend my life with her and built future with her. and i told her im doing this job only for her to save money for her so i can help her and we could have good life...so well she came to see me(but her ex refused to let her daughter go with her, he knew if he will keep kid then she will not also able to go, totaly control on life) but anyways then she came and told me she is pregnant by me, i wasnt surprised but a lil disappointed cus she lied to me about pregnancy (another long story) so i was happy and congrats her( even im not sure its my baby or not, but i always wanted to have kid with my wife). so then she start asking me to move back to her home cus she need me and her ex stole money from her purse, he blamed her for so many things and he have to be baby sitter..

so instead to being nice, and good to me my wife blamed me for everything and she completly refused that she ever asked me to leave and she faught with me everytime i called, she refused to admit anything, and ask me to move back to her home other wise she will call embassy and tell them that i working her illegaly. she blamed me for everything she asked me for give her money other wise she will deport me. and i will lead to jail, im working very shitty job just to save some money for her but now i think i better save money for myself . but sometime i think that she is my wife and i cant leave her but i dont want to treat bad and like a****le, i dont want to hit by anyone, i dont want anyone abuse me front of peoples.

so i also did alot of bad but i changed myself maybe now its my time to suffered but i made my wife suffered anything like she made me.......so what should i do now ?

[Traviesa 0]

I've seen far too many posts like this...we can't tell you what to do in your relationship, that's going to have to be between you and your wife. Best of luck to you!

Actually, I'll tell you this much...if you're wife is threatening you, that's never a good sign. You have to come to a conclusion that works for you, your wife, and unborn child. But you shouldn't have to suffer abuse. Hopefully you will figure out something...

Edited May 8, 2006 by MissLiss

[canadalaura 0]

my first piece of advice would be to learn to use the "enter" key. Paragraphs are your friend.

[lyc2003 0]

Its not about me and my wife my point is that to know what should i need to do now? cus im working right now she said i can't work without her permission, and im illegaly working now.

[canadalaura 0]

My second piece of advice would be to not post on a public forum about working illegaly.

[Traviesa 0]

Then you have two options...

1. Keep your job and run the risk of getting in legal trouble (which severely limits your options)

2. Quit your job at least long enough to figure out what you're going to do

[KarenCee 3]

Ok, I'll bite....

If you have your EAD, then you are not working illegally. As for what is going on with you and your wife, I'm not sure. It is something the two of you must work out.

[antone 0]

Its not about me and my wife my point is that to know what should i need to do now? cus im working right now she said i can't work without her permission, and im illegaly working now.

You do not need her permission to work if you have an EAD. If you don't, it doesn't matter whether you have her permission or not, it's illegal.

If you *are* working illegally, my advice would be to stop as soon as possible.

[JenT 0]

But it IS about you and your wife. You need to decide whether this situation is worth the pain you're going through. If it is, then you focus on what it takes to get your life back on track with her. If it's not, then you have to focus on what you need to do to remove yourself from that situation.

Once you decide, then perhaps someone here can help guide you with more specific advice.

[Fuzzness 2]

sorry if this offends anyone

If I were you, I would leave the b!tch immediately!!! when the baby is born tell her to get a paternity test. if it's yours, you have the responsibility to provide for it (please do it legally). If not, go back to your country of origin and forget the whole thing.

[antone 0]

There's a number of things that don't add up here. I'm not saying OP is lying, simply that a few important details seem to be missing. Why on Earth would wife object to his working? It could be illegal, yes, but that doesn't seem to be her problem. If she wants rid of him, why not simply seek a divorce?

I dunno.

[Traviesa 0]

There's a number of things that don't add up here. I'm not saying OP is lying, simply that a few important details seem to be missing. Why on Earth would wife object to his working? It could be illegal, yes, but that doesn't seem to be her problem. If she wants rid of him, why not simply seek a divorce?

I dunno.

It sounds like a classic psycho control thing to me!

[antone 0]

sorry if this offends anyone

If I were you, I would leave the b!tch immediately!!! when the baby is born tell her to get a paternity test. if it's yours, you have the responsibility to provide for it (please do it legally). If not, go back to your country of origin and forget the whole thing.

Doesn't offend me. I'm inclined to agree, based on the evidence presented here.

There's a number of things that don't add up here. I'm not saying OP is lying, simply that a few important details seem to be missing. Why on Earth would wife object to his working? It could be illegal, yes, but that doesn't seem to be her problem. If she wants rid of him, why not simply seek a divorce?

I dunno.

It sounds like a classic psycho control thing to me!

Yes, this is very possibly true. Personally, I'd be out of there, but I suppose the possibility that the child is his complicates things.

[LaL 418]

wow - is anyone else getting flashbacks from a previous situation?

[Traviesa 0]

There's a number of things that don't add up here. I'm not saying OP is lying, simply that a few important details seem to be missing. Why on Earth would wife object to his working? It could be illegal, yes, but that doesn't seem to be her problem. If she wants rid of him, why not simply seek a divorce?

I dunno.

It sounds like a classic psycho control thing to me!

Yes, this is very possibly true. Personally, I'd be out of there, but I suppose the possibility that the child is his complicates things.

I'm almost certain he's stuck around for the child!